/lit/ - Literature

>>11375845
And as the girl walks up on stage, she eats the marshmallow by the turntables.

>OH MY GOD SHE ATE MARSHMALLOW
>THAT GIRL GORGED HERSELF ON MARSHMELLOW
>SHE MURDERED MARSHMELLO

The man that tore out his eyes had Marshmello's eyes in his sockets.
>I REPLACED MY EYES WITH MARSHMALLOWS

You give me a lot of funny ideas.

things and thoughts
May 7, 2014

the pen
One time at school I was sticking this smooth black pen inside my pee hole. The plan was that I would take a piss to see what would happen. I thought it would shoot out like a rocket. So there I am, in the public bathroom with a pen stuck 4 solid inches inside my erect cock when I hear the door behind me open. My mind panics, but my trained FAP ninja skills kicked in and I remained calm physically. I feigned typical pissing motions, knowing I would have maybe a seconds until he walked up to the urinal next to mine. I pulled the pen out of my cock slowly and hid it in my sleeve while the other hand grabbed a hold of my still-erect cock.

The unsuspecting individual is now maybe a mere 2 feet away from me. With the quickness of a coked-up cheetah I simultaneously start pissing, and do a heel turn to face my target. I blast him with a thick jet stream of piss right in the sternum. The emotions on his face are absent. His brain clearly hasn’t processed what is happening and still can’t form a coherent expression yet. Not me. I have the advantage of adrenaline and cocaine flowing through my veins. I could impregnate a hummingbird mid-flight. All the while his comatose neurons are firing hard to incite a reaction in his body, a thick warm stream of piss is zigzagging across his torso and drenching his pretty blue uniform.

After what seemed longer than it takes me to cum for the 5th time in a row, the pig finally reacts. He reaches for his beating stick while trying to dodge the incoming piss artillery. His left hand goes for my throat as his body lunges forwards. I don’t react, I don’t even flinch. I’d put Manneken Pis to shame. I need him to get closer first. Aikido teaches you to use your opponent’s energy against him, and after 15 years of it, I don’t think anymore. As his hand is almost at my throat, I grab him by his wrist and step forward through the gap left between his arm and body. One Kotegaeshi later, he’s on the floor hard. He hits his head on the urinal and the baton flies from his hand. The pen drops out of my sleeve.

The piss jet never stopped. He seems to be unconscious from the ceramic blow to his meaty head. I piss on his face till the tanks empty and grab the rest of my coke from the window still. Then I do another line and sprinkle some on the pig too. Not sure why, it just seemed funny at the time. My gorilla head awaits hung on the back of the door. I put it back on, adjust the rest of my costume and head back out into the roaring music. Oh, I almost forget the pen.