/lit/ - Literature

>be me
>mid-20s
>live out innawoods
>unhappy cause no friends
>live life on repeat
>do the same old same old with no end in sight
>feel trapped
>gather huge urge to change my life
>move to city
>realize I’m still unhappy cause living in a city sucks
>still struggle to make friends
>make a couple
>can’t stand them and push them away
>somehow get a gf through Tinder
>fuckitup.jpg
>finally move back home
>tfw no friends and no gf
>slowly become more depressed than I’ve ever been
>think about suicide daily
>go to doctor for help
>therapy
>drugs
>church
>nothingworks.png
>read books
>read the bible
>learn metaphysics
>lift religiously
>eat the healthiest diet possible
>still depressed
>still can’t stand people
>hate life
>love myself but feel broken and not made for society
>slowly losing grip on reality
/lit/, I’m at my wits end. I’m out of books to read. Nothing is helping. Life is crushing me. How do I get out this? How do I unfuck myself?

Please, just throw books at me and I will read anything. I’m desperate to find something or some way to change who I am. The best professionals around couldn’t help. My family can’t help. You guys at least have given my a lot of smiles over the years. Please, anything. I don’t want to die.