/lit/ - Literature

>>19126592
Once I got back home, I broke down in tears. Years of frustration just all came out at once. What frustrate me the most is how little control I have over some of my goals. All these jobs application that got rejected or getting turned down by a girl, there's not much I can do about either. I feel like my life is stagnating despite my best efforts to improve. To add insult to injury, I got a 200$ ticket for some bullshit two days later.

This events led me to further introspection. I was thinking about what I could change about myself, things I can work on that could give life a greater sense of progress. The goals I arrived to are to take my works out at the rock climbing gym more seriously at to be more open about all my wierd interest especially through the use of social media. The second goal has been hard, just posting a normie tier song on my instagram storie made me anxious as fuck. Just a lot of insecurities that need to be squashed once and for all.

I had trouble sleeping and had barely any appetite all week and I also find myself still thinking about her occasionally. Despite all this I still think this was a very positive experience for me and the start of somehting good for me. I just wish I would've been a positive experience for her just as she was for me. I can see she's hurt and I wish I could help her. It doesn't feel like she just wasn't into me, the dates went so well after all. It really feels like it was just bad timing. There is still a part of me who's hoping she comes around, but I'm not banking on it and I know the best way to heal is to sadly move one.

This the end of my way too long blogpost

Everything comes together perfectly in my head. But once it comes time to write or draw it, it becomes a mess. The second I stop to do something else, the image returns in a proper form.