/lit/ - Literature

>>13073513
Will do.
>>13070525
http://www.mediafire.com/file/yta6avhvt3n9k0p/A_Mugging_in_Berlin.docx/file
>>13071178
You need to space some things out. In the start of your short story you mention the Protagonist has and keeps having panic attacks. I've never had one, so I don't relate to this passage. Can you describe it in detail how it feels, maybe give us some scenery to chew on as Celia walks in with the lunch or in the cab.

You make refrences to greek monsters, maybe go with that metaphore a bit more. She's talking with her mom about the scale of her projects, and about how they're draining her lover. Paint her like a knight in shining armour or maybe as Athena helping odysseus.

Either way you've given a big twist of symbolic imagery in the start. Does he truly resent her on some level due to how she spends his money?

" Celia already did our orders and one of them casually dressed ‘hey hey I’m just like you but with an apron and a conditioned can-do attitude that would make even sociopaths flinch servers came out of the woodwork with our food. I was incredibly intimidated by his shining white smile and his air of positivity." Is there supposed to be an apostrophe after flinch? Moreover you mention how he feels like the waiters eyes 'seduce him', why is that? Can you describe why the character feels seduced rather then imtimidated or nervous, with how you described his interaction with the waiter earlier?

Overall its' good writing, but it needs a clean up in grammar, tone, and imagery.

>>13070525
http://www.mediafire.com/file/yta6avhvt3n9k0p/A_Mugging_in_Berlin.docx/file
thanks /rs