/lit/ - Literature

>>16586916
I covered myself in gasoline multiple times and flicked a lighter as a sort of spin on Russian roulette. But I had an epiphany that, while it didn’t make me feel better, solved my suicide dilemma: continuing to live is my revolt against all the powers that oppressed me. My life is awful and would drive any sane man to self immolation; the cosmic, societal, and psychological forces created suicide inducing circumstances and a loathsome inescapable character. At first I thought that burning myself to death would be a revolt against this life and would be a culmination of my life of anguish but then I realised it was the opposite: that choosing to continue and live was the revolt against all the forces that command I kill myself. Now I see there’s no good reason to kill myself unless for glory but that can only be gained in truly intense anguish, one that transgresses the sanctity of consciousness, or glorify something else—like art or a statement. So unless you do something worthy of glory or have something worth saying, you have to live your anguish until you or it ceases. Our souls are already burning—go find a hobby and stop being such a baby; this anguish is what gives us purpose. Killing yourself only makes the bad feels stop because your brain is dead, but this consciousness, that can only be called god given in the freedom it allows, means we are not bound by anything but that said consciousness, which is infinitely cultivatable. The freedom we possess in our thoughts and mind cannot be tarnished by petty woes.

>>14866737
Before lighting myself on fire I would say "In my lucidity I choose to burn."

>>14129824
I never said I'd do it in solitude. I'd go out to a public square read out a poem and then light myself on fear while trying to hold a pose best I can and try really hard not to scream