/lit/ - Literature

Hey, /lit/, about to shop my novel to agents. Is my query any good / would you read a novel based on this description? Any parts that need beefing up or cutting out?

>Dear [Ms./Mr.] First Last Name,

>Kevin Little, a disgraced ex-corporate lawyer, didn’t expect to become a groundskeeper at a golf course in his midlife. But neither did he foresee threatening his old boss with murder, getting shipped away to jail, becoming disbarred, and losing his wife and children.

>Now, Kevin wants it all back. To do so, he’s willing to start over—even if it kills him, and it nearly does.

>Kevin misses his kids desperately, which is made all the more uncomfortable by the many small children mysteriously roaming about the golf course unattended. They appear in basement corridors and behind locked doors without explanation.

>When Kevin falls in with a nefarious circle of ex-lawyers and retired big wigs at the golf course, he finds a path to winning back his family. They’ve been watching him since his days on Bay Street, and have carefully groomed him for their horrific child-preying inner circle.

>At the demand of a wolfish white-collar cabal, Kevin ultimately faces a heinous proposition: murder two children, and retake his family.

>The story unfolds in two timelines: one in the present, and another as flashbacks to Kevin’s former family life that depict his fall from grace.

>GREEN COUNTRY is a tight standalone work complete at 55,000 words that blends literary fiction with elements of mystery and thriller. It aspires to the precision of Jeffrey Eugenides’ THE VIRGIN SUICIDES and the intimate tragedy of Scott McLanahan’s THE SARAH BOOK. It is my debut novel.

>My poetry and short fiction have appeared in Maudlin House, the White Wall Review, Soliloquies Anthology, the Lit Quarterly, and Philosophical Idiot.

>Per your agency’s guidelines, I’ve included [requested material] below.

>Thank you for your consideration.

>"The highway stretches on forever. When viewed from above, even the exits look like infinity."

Pic related.

Is this decent, or am I a complete simp?