/lit/ - Literature

We've been finding reasons to stay in love with eachother these past 4 years. In a couple of weeks another year will be running past us with that same feeling we get ever since we decided to live together 3 years ago.
I remember my lung cancer ridded aunt grabbing my box of belongings and tossing them out the window, while she screamed at my mother "I want you and your fucking son out of here".My mother lives near the beach now, she's all right living with her cat.
Its easy to grab a hold of a woman free of money troubles while your falling down. The anxiety, and panic attacks she goes through on almost a daily basis compare little to the fear of having to change your fucking address once again because some cunty aunt cant handle being with a guy that remindes her of her suicide son.
So I had a go at it, moved in with this new woman, i got the same bug she had implanted in her by her narcissistic mother. I get panic attacks,i get anxious about shit i dont even care about. Its her sickness, not mine.
Its like i started "Three little piggies" from back to front. Now we're both struggling to keep this hay house standing up and I know that if we decide to end it, ill move out. I'll leave with nowhere to fall to with friends equally fucked as I am. "Come to me" mother says, "even for just a couple of weeks, you love swimming and the sea will always keep you company". Yet I still owe her dad 8,000 dollars because i accepted a trip to Rome that showed me nothing of value, nothing that will help me face the shit i have in front of me.
I feel fucking shackled to the unreal worry that this woman i live with will take her life, or her hair out in the process of me leaving. I cant stand anothe suicide in my panoramic view.