/lit/ - Literature

>>3286734
10/10

>>3275757
>"your heart smothers my body
>come here"
gorgeous.

>>3289888
I might rework the line breaks and stanzas on this one, maybe:

I can't fall asleep,
laying in bed imagining
a conversation with my ex.
I wonder the total number of hours
my one-way talks to an imaginary her
would amount to,

probably way too much
probably an uncomfortable amount.

-
Sometimes those little things, capitalization and punctuation in the right places, line breaks and stanzas, can make such a difference.

>>3289943
>Da Vinci Code
Not even for free.

>>3289483
I always start in a notebook so I can keep track of my editing. It doesn't hit my laptop until a deadline is coming up.

If I ever lost my notebooks I might have to find a high window and jump. The thought actually makes me feel a little panicky.

>>3289170
Confuses the hell out of me, but not in a bad way. I'm fascinated by the idea of the Symbolic Order and the suggestion that we're all just struggling to get back to mom, underneath it all. I know I'm way over-simplifying, but my understandings are those of a simple poet, not a philosopher ;)

>>3288780
I would. I'm not much of a talker though.

>>3288491
-2
the one that ends with the lines
"your heart smothers my body
come here"
was beautiful!

>>3282005
okay, well... maybe not so much anymore. but in the short thing I wrote first, I didn't think it was so obvious.

>>3281906
sure. what length and quality would you like? I can give you anything from "touching holiday card commercial" to "profound and staggering loss finally breaking the levee after years of numbness". I've recently added "helplessness in the face of the shooting deaths of elementary school children" to the list, if you like.

I'm not above profiting from this either. Paypal and all major credit cards are accepted. First choking shudder is free.

>>3281776
eggses, precious! eggses it is!

>>3281779
I didn't realize I was coming across as cynical. I do have depression, so that might be part of it.

We sat there in silence for some time before realizing that the store's lights were coming back on behind us. We had been arguing long enough that the same tired bastard who had closed the store had gone home, slept, and come back again to rattle a few of the empty bread carts around behind the glass. The sky was lighter. The smell of exhaust was gone and soon Nori would be gone too.

>3281543 (OP)
3. I feel like an environment only matters in relationship to the characters that are experiencing it, so I try to give them the final say on the description. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me to include things they wouldn't care about personally. I have no idea if that makes sense.

Like a leaf loving the windshield from the hilt of my wiper blade
I imagine you waiting to spring on my heart
the second I give notice,
a puddle-soaked piece of rubber
tangled 'round the spoke of its own wheel.

>>3279363
>Earendil

liked because this is my dog's name :)

>>3280208
I don't want to be immortal. I'd like to find out what is next... even if it's nothing.

>>3280003
I try to be. Sometimes too hard.

>>3279427
My writing group is more useful than scribophile (and it can be pretty bad sometimes). I recommend you go to school and meet some other lit students that want to improve as much as you do.

>>3279031
At home my children are being forced to scrub the bathroom because their cousins are coming for Christmas dinner. I know this because the littlest one sent me an emergency squirt to explain her booboo finger to me, hoping daddy would come to the rescue. Not to tell me good job on finally setting down on the icy surface of a formerly untouched planet, no... the booboo and the cleaning. I can't expect her to understand, of course. She's small enough still that we don't try to tame her, her head all covered in rings, like some sunny and swirling planet, all by herself, and she, always falling out of her mother's orbit, touching those things on shelves that are mostly likely to crush in her fist. It is in this moment of daydream that I realize where I am and what I am about to do.

>>3278948
<3

>>3278849
Writing Poems by Michelle Boisseau (and others) has helped me understand quite a bit of what you're after. As a textbook I had Poetry: an Introduction by Michael Meyer, which is expensive as hell, but was absolutely fantastic. I also suggest The Poet's Companion by Kim Addonizio and Ted Kooser's The Poetry Home Repair Manual. As for a specific book of poems, I'd have to suggest Anne Carson's Autobiography of Red or something by Boisseau (mentioned above).

>>3278809
not actually true. and you might get stabbed in the eye with a pen while you're there.

>>3278798
omnomnom.

>>3278726
nope, but that is a kickass name. wish I'd thought of it.