/lit/ - Literature

current poetry
geek culture
roleplaying games/d&d (shut up)
glbt/women's issues
making friends (but not necessarily keeping them)

>>3292955
>Heed is a debt to me
Sorry, my brain was going faster than my hands were typing and I missed a few words there. My general point is the same though :)

>>3292824
By just rewording a few bits here and there, and by smoothing out your line breaks, this poem makes a lot more sense and is less work for your reader. I make the following suggestion:

I told you so:
the triumphant phrase
on the tongue-tip of my claim,
staked with flags all around.
Heed is a debt to me
and it must be paid in jerking tugs.
Negotiating is tepid water in a root canal.
etc -

The way it is broken now makes it very difficult to understand. This is only a suggestion, of course, feel free to ignore it if there is something bigger at work that I'm not getting my head around.

>>3292779
Well frogs conceive in ponds and rivers, the sheer number of them that breed in the spring where I live could fill a river... they overflow the banks and hop out to our driveways and roads... I was trying to get an image of overflow, just this mass plaguelike feeling of frogs and toads, but I think it's not as common an experience as it needs to be for the line to work as it is.

I either need to build it up and give it more explanation or eliminate it if it's pulling so much focus and becoming a barrier for the reader.

>>3292762
I've only read to the first large break so far, but I absolutely love your style. I would love to be able to write like this.

>>3292749
yeah. I'm a little twitchy about that line yet. My professor got it, but he's not my general audience, you know?

>>3292665
>People on amazon are nice sometimes
4chan. Sorry. My brain skyped out.

Might try submitting this somewhere. I feel like it's getting to where I want it to be. Opinions very appreciated.

Frog/Toad
With rock-pit skin sliding over muscle
contorting like young eyes in the dark,
conceiving of puddles as ponds,
conceiving in and in the mind as rivers,

once you were a six inch spike
in the middle of a busy road.
I pulled over and shooed,
had to poke you with the toe of my shoe,
and as new wheels came fast on the hill
you snapped back to survival with a start
and were gone.

I caught one in the spring.
From the pit of my hands
it made a sound like a baby bird,
small and brown and stone,
chirping inside of what to it
must have seemed to be a pair of jaws
about to bite down, and it called out
in those ancient tongues, shouting life
and matters so twisted into the genes
that we shared them instantly.

>>3292208
I try to read at least twice as much as I write, so I read until something strikes me in what I'm reading... then I usually write until I pass out for the day. I've woken up with a pen in my hand more times than I can count. Even ruined a perfectly good sent of sheets because it bled everywhere, ha.

I don't suggest trying to write in a marathon like that unless you know it works for you. The best published writers I know personally take frequent breaks to let their brains recharge. It's like running a marathon... if you're not trained properly you're going to end up frustrated and doubting your abilities.

Good luck, OP.

>>3292478
same here. It's different for everyone.

>>3292625
I will share my new self-presented tires with you, if you like. There are four of them. You can choose front or rear and I'll send you a pic like a Christian Children's Fund baby.

Or post your amazon wishlist. People on amazon are nice sometimes :)

>>3292444
Medication worked for me. I'm two years into college after never having been able to last two consecutive semesters previously.

Also, it helps to be reading about something that fascinates you, so your natural hyperfocus ability kicks in. I've always been an expert on the arts, even before medication, because sculptors and painters just amazed the hell out of me. I'm sure you've found that to be true of yourself, as almost every ADHD person has.

Just be patient with yourself. Take a break if you need to. Next to medication, nothing has helped me more than interacting with people who are interested in the subject I need to absorb. Study groups, 4chan, etc.

>>3292428
The sense wasn't so "common" when the books were written. Things tend to take shape in the mass consciousness when they're put down on paper and people can go, "ah, see, there you go... common sense!" and teach it to their kids as part of the culture.

Just my humble opinion, of course.

>>3292498
Generally I tend to go paperback because I'm broke and live in the middle of nowhere... Amazon's used books are my only contact with the outside world until school starts again, ha.

I've tried to get into an ereader, but it's just too alien. I just don't get how someone can hold a piece of plastic and read from it. I mean, I get it as a concept, but my brain refuses to even absorb books on my laptop (or an audio recording for that matter). It must be printed matter. I can't even read my own class notes from my computer.

Stupid brain.

>>3291197
I'm just getting into Ashbery's work. Would like to hear other people's opinions on where to start, so - bump :)

>>3292371
Real writers do it when they don't feel like it. This is the time when you prove that you're serious! Go write! Now!

>>3292163
I'd add a third category to that: those who like to chat with others who have similar interests. I'm certainly nowhere near as well-read as most folks here claim to be, but I do like to hear what they have to say.

>>3291911
Holiday vacation from school and internet/lit addiction :( I need to go start reading for next semester so that I can get ahead of the game, but I just can't motivation. I'm going to show up for my first writing group meeting of the year with nothing in my hands :(

>>3290914
fuck, I was gonna post that.

>>3291447
She's 13. Give her some space to make literary mistakes, lol.

>>3291479
>I have never heard of STEM. What is it?
Science Technology Engineering Mathematics.

>>3291436
My mum is a nurse turned management and my dad is a washed up musician. I'll be the first person in my family to have an MA. Does that count?

>>3289536
hipsters gonna hip.

>>3290008
I tried to read that and Twilight so I'd have something to talk to my mom about. Couldn't even with either one.