/lit/ - Literature

>>1973762
>>1973762

Because it's both tragic and humorous at the same time.

I am writing.

Writing infinite.

>>1972938
>>1972938
>>1972938

Alright, cool.

>>1972882
>>1972882

Well, I'll bring it back when I get to part 2 and 3, but if you're really interested on following and perhaps just being a beta reader, I could just send regular updates via e-mail.

>>1972812
>>1972812

The main character doesn't exactly recall things naturally so he genitally just finds the clerk to be vile. It's why he keeps interrupting the clerk in the memory because it's not like what he said mattered, he never gave a good solution to the magazines not there.

He recalls him mentioning the brothel and mentioning the magazines down the road, but the "what the hell is wrong with you?" and the gun are really just the main character's own spin on practically his insanity regarding this. The clerk did pull a gun and it's a memory, but it's all from the wrong perspective and told with a heavy bias. For example, the clerk pulled a gun because he thought the main character was going to attack him.

>>1972790
>>1972790

I might be using it in a very loose term, I think. But I can see how it would be wrong.

Also, mind explaining "free?"

>>1972785
>>1972785

His face was stern like that of a general with just the accessory now to fit the look – he held up a gun to me and began to mumble out vile curses. Even though I fully made my way back to the rack to fumble through the magazines again in some hopeless play for attention, the gun spoke enough in my heightened terror. My hands swiftly pulled away from the thumbing the covers and raised up in a sign of pathetic defence as my feet worked their way to the door nearby, and my tears were now clear. They were still locked away in the crest of my eyes yet he knew they were there from how his eyes looked – they wanted to cry too even with the gun, cry at what this man before him had become. And soon, I was out and the yelling ceased immediately on my sound of shoes pattering in on the street puddles from earlier evening rain. The night ahead await the loneliness of my being walking down empty avenues without her, and with that thought I recalled being happy in some sick manner. Remembering that before I went off into the night, across the entire city within my grasp of knowledge and to some unknown areas, knowing that I prayed to eventually see a woman lost and walking out in the dark with our shared heavy hearts – though we would never meet, just the knowledge of her existence added to my vision of her.

My mind fell back into the room where I still stood before the images on the wall, gawking in a mixed thought of their memory and attraction.
__________________________________

And that's all from me /lit/.

Thanks for all comments and your interest.

>>1972782
>>1972782

“Excuse me? I, uh, you’re missing a lot of magazines I was just wondering why you’re missing the lady magazines.” My eyes swelled as if tears were going to fall.

“Does it look like I know? I just work here, fuckin’ manager does the stocking choices. I mean shit, yeah, I do the stocking but like I’d honestly give a shit about hiding the magazines on purp”

“no no, where’s the manager?! I need these, please don’t I, I need these damn pictures okay! My body is, um, well..”

“The fuck are you talking about? They’re just magazines, dude, and get over it. Or you could make your way down the road; over to the Jefferson crosswalk they got a little rack near that one little brothel area or whatever. Hell, man, get yourself a damn prostitute or somethin’ while you”

“no! no, I don’t want those whores, those stupid whores! I just want to do something and you’re fucking ruining it and I can’t just go down there because they will see me! They’ll all fucking see me! They will see me and then how the hell will she love me, I need to see her and it needs to be per”

“What the fuck are you talking about?! Just get the hell out, man, get out! You’re just freaking me the hell out”

“no god, no, no, no” I screamed now, red in the face and truly afraid of what my body was going to do, “I can’t go back! Oh god, I don’t want to spend a night alone with my mind, I’m so happy of seeing her in my mind but I want her with me please help me! let me just find one here just”

>>1972779
>>1972779

Though I cannot say I’ve yet found a reason to visit this chance once more since previous visit. On that thought, I quivered up from the table with the dying light and lumbered my body over to the wall which, on every step, caught a clearer sight of the actual detail in all of their faces. An absolutely grotesque sight on first reminder of the view yet the craftsmanship of my own search for perfection among these women lowered down a halo of ignorant beauty onto each malformed woman. My clubbed fingers reached to caress the face of one but it awkwardly shifts in mid-air as my mind trembles at the thought of that blank slate of hers’ staring from just behind, watching my deviation from what was her truth in creation. I stopped the attempt of my hand while letting it fall to my side, however I wasn’t prepared to turn around and return to the desk-side of her eerie drawn image; my mind stuck to the wall of women, sprawled out all across with some wrinkled from previous stains of my own sexual releases and this made them look disgusting to me. It only saddened me to remember their initial reasoning yet there was always a yearn for more –

>>1972777
>>1972777

On the immediate right to my seat at the desk was the wall, adorned with images of women from the world whom my mind struck to attach itself to. None of them were drawn under my own hand in their reality yet rather they were the flawed misconceptions of her; a large slam of the flaws, the particular fitting fetishes and perks to each that would slot and fit their way onto her in the midst of a heated session of my own sexual pleasure. As so, I did not keep away the women who instantly brought themselves up as I would masturbate instead choosing to occasionally migrate, with a malignant fear of the outside, to any nearby general store for their assortment of magazines. With scraps of dollars shredded away from my far-away family under false pretences, the women within the pages would be mere appendages to the angelic Frankenstein they would become on my wall. I never took to recall the faces of the men who held the counter on my trips beneath the midnight nor names of the magazines that so devilishly played up to my volatile desires – upon these weak movements into the outside world, that I knew somewhere she walked and breathed in, it was only the faces of any crossing woman with their bold expressions that held at my attention. For even me as just another shadow to walk under the night, the coldest of women could walk alongside me without the slightest notice of the sweating fat under the clothing of mine or the breathing that sped my heart to their proud pace. They were their own woman and with this attribute seeded in them causing my body to writhe in a constant state of mental ecstasy, I became like the cultist under them if they followed my path to the magazine place.

>>1972776
>>1972776

It grew dark around me as my shouts bounced ‘round the room, like the walls had clung to the shadows cast around the novice light projecting weakly from the table lamp; or, rather, the liberal attitude of my voice frightened me out of this interior heaven I build while thinking about her. My eyes swelled to the darkness as they dashed around the corners, some having large bushels of clothing that were obviously unkempt, left to rot as the room formed an oven during the warmer days. However, the clothes were misplaced all in too many places, some unnoticed areas of the space took the breath from me – unclear figures that I would try to make out all around me were mostly things of my creation.

I've made some additional progress to my work and with such suggestion to post up additional work by various Anon, I thought I might as well share.

This will be the last section of the first section I'll be posting up for review/critique - I feel like this story has potential and is doing really well, and while I'm unsure if /lit/ really takes a following to it I'll still post it up for any more comments/critique. I also don't really want to get completely plagiarized in the long run.

I've taken suggestions from my previous thread to work into this next section - hopefully it has turned out better!
_____________________________________________________________

The paper shifted a small amount, sliding down the shaft of the lamp that bent just at the right turn to hide the hands but keeping the face in my sight, staring into me without words to express. While my body was fit into rage, I knew truly I held an indescribable air of love towards her and the invoking emotions she did prescribe with her presence, that which chided the constant pressure of sexuality between the ideals I gave into her persona in my imagining. It was as if, and I spoke aloud now to her now as to simulate my understanding to her portrait, that whatever beauty she could enthrall within men was never just her image but more so the absolute decision she would sway within her own creation!

>>1972706
>>1972706

I don't think it'd be too much of a problem.

>>1972657
>>1972657

I hated Axel most of the book because, my god, you'd think through all his troubles and what not he'd become a tougher man but not really. I mean he kind of gets over it but meh.

Though, I'll agree and I think you're talking about when Axel gets lost, it's really eerie. I think what ADDS to it is that he's just such a wimp, so he sees and describes everything in such a terrifying/dramatic fashion.

I personally found the Professor to be a hilariously neurotic character, as he just never stops being who he is. The map, the craters, the god-damn hole - he's like "oh geez, never give up adedede."

The best part is arguably the part when they see the huge human or when they get saved by Hans. Both are dramatic in their own way.

Hopefully though this leads you to other Verne novels - he's really a "I like him" or "I don't like him" kind of author.

>>1972608
>>1972608

Looks interesting...and in book form!

Thanks for the tip.

>>1972618
>>1972618

Oh, fantastic!

How'd you take to it? Any favorite characters/parts?

I saw you mention the part where the narrator gets lost.

>>1972598
>>1972598

Uh, it is slow but I think it's the message as a whole + Hopkins and Pitt as an acting combo.

I didn't like the woman...AT ALL. I found her whole adoration for Joe to be kind of fruitless but the relationship at times between Hopkins and Pitt just made the movie nice.

>>1972587
>>1972587

I'm just glad there wasn't any comment to be made on Tears for Fears.

I honestly thought I might get chided for liking them, but they are so good.

>>1972567
>>1972567

:(

Would "Seven" be okay?

Seven was good!

Favorite Book: Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne
Favorite Album: Songs From the Big Chair by Tears for Fears
Favorite Movie: Meet Joe Black

>>1970780
>>1970780
>>1970753
>>1970753

Yeah I definitely saw that relationship from the start.

I was just confused as to why Sherlock was Watson - it's like a joke in itself.

traverse of lonely forests provides the hunt to hunted
peek patient in fear among dark with every head turn
and vines drop; lightning
alone

exit haunting, up the path, aside loomed terrors
stringing out chirping chivalrous night birds
take rest from the inferno
alone

uninvited tears cry in merry rhythm to trees
steady clouds birth mirror pools
thump-splash-thump
alone

centre of man and his lone forest where he wander
floats down his rivers a symphony
all within each other
together

>>1970137
>>1970137

I mean, sure, the story has a really spontaneous action as it's revolving mostly around people just stumbling into the office, but my god I did laugh at the shared 4chan humor.

> as he pointed to the doublesguy.jpg in her purse

You write clearly and give a good immediate personality to your characters - it's good!

So sad you are Anon's bitch...

:(

:(