/lit/ - Literature

>>3816573
is it about love and we keep chasing it only to get hurt? also repeating the same action and expecting a different result is insanity OCD repeat the same action because they expect the same result
an example is once u opened the door with your left hand and then it rained so now you only open doors with your right hand

>>3816559
sry i don't get it. its supposed to be a poem right?

>>3816508
i like the topic but i just don't think the last paragraphs dialogue is very believable but the topic is pretty dead on. i like it but make it more of a conversation.

>>3816481
the hacker is too close to magic for me but if u can sell it more power to you

>>3816480
i didn't like the story till "of course, all of this naive idle fantasy"
then i loved it all its nice work and i would like to read more

>>3816396
Whats plot?

>>3816393
>the sexually unholy undertones placed upon Rome by the historians.
i was unsure about this then i read this line and i laughed again u are good sir

>>3816443
i still love Elva and it don't think u need the quotes when she is talking to herself unless you meant she said it out loud

>>3816392
i loved this paragraph
i loved all of it change none of it

>>3816387
>he set down his weary buttock atop the sand.
nice use of the buttock's

at first i was confused then i read
>equal sand rights
and i laughed out loud and no longer care what it all means

>>3816406
i will read it give me a min

>>3816214
i love mahmoud
but not much else there to really get into

>>3816367
i love your protagonist
your description is vivid but in a story spread it out and make the stray strands of hear and bags under her eyes things other people point out to her since people do that shit all the time
but just so u know i like what u wrote and u should probably ignore what i wrote

>>3816341
i like you your funny

>>3816162
i don't know i need to read more but its sounds interesting. I would like more descriptions of people or surroundings but its doesn't really "need" it

>>3816344
Sry man at first i thought u were a troll then i thought this was stream of consciousness but then i was like is this what a computer thinks and the i just wanted to tell you the first paragraph made me laugh. The second the "plumber" showed up i was lost.
>I would like some validation that I'm doing the right thing, please! Some direction from up there. Corporate sponsorship.
BEST LINE love this i would have it on a long bumpersticker

>>3816265
Thank you 4 your attention
I wish you success in all your future endeavors.
I will offer my opinion when asked and i hope people notice my name means neanderthal which might dissuade them from taking anything i say too seriously

>>3816301
damn damn DAMN
that is dark beautiful and ill drink to it cheers

>>3816284
i think u mixed me up with somebody else
>but if your buddhist, youre supposed to savor every bite ??
wait what? ya i lean towards buddhism but i don't really know what u mean bro

>>3816195
Okay i apologize for believing that this was homework. also i was only saying that i cant help your grammar problems.
Now the reasons i thought this was homework is why i didn't like it. The characters are unbelievable and flat, u spend no time convincing the audience that they are real or that they have any depth. The characters only holed the opinion they do because u want them to. The morale dilemma in the plane was less foreshadowing and more laziness. i didn't care if any of them died and i didn't care that the one lied to the other i don't even distinguish between them be cause they all feel like generic dolls. Also the dilemma wasn't very dramatic he left a half dead guy to die so what?
The moral debate is nothing new and u don't add anything to the conversation by repeating it
SRy but that's just what i think

>>3816152
splay is to spread out
so its modern day? also hash in a joint a blunt or just a stick completely of hash held together by shear awesomeness
sorry but "great" doesn't help me and its not so much a story as a self analysis. thanx for the positivity. Also why almost whats sexual about it? Also was the line "see me right once more" easily understood to mean i am going to get more booze

>>3816065
I loved how u portrayed jogging in the city its exactly what i experience but i don't know what soundscape is.
But "wire bearings" that doesn't exist they are steel ball bearings with a wire which make a pulley.
"floor level " i assume is a typo
>>3816113
I agree with most your notes but u lost me when u started talking about Cleo i get the magical realism of seeing what u expect when u hear what u expect. Also i live in NYC and there is no way u could slide anything thicker then paper under any apt door but mics don't necessary need to be in the same room since they pick up vibrations

>>3815993
OMG bro i just started reading your homework and read "escalating the roof of the world" i burst out laughing i am at work so this came off as odd but don't worry i will keep reading. u got grammar issues just so u know

>>3816054
OMG i really liked it
At first it was very beta and something i heard a thousand time but as soon as i read “Well, you’d be surprised at how powerful you feel after you destroy something beautiful.”
I laughed and then felt very contemplative
9/10 she should have been blonde its more stereotypical