/lit/ - Literature

>>1575570
>>1575570
Ah, fuck it, it isn't like I was about to run for president anyway. I'll pastebin it, it expires in ten minutes.

http://pastebin.com/9j7FmDXV

>>1575561
Oh, that would make me really uncomfortable knowing that this trip and that webcomic were associated, tbh. I dunno. Post an email. It really is half-assed, though.

>>1575446
>Actually, fuckhole, this thread was created by anon, for anon.
I think you mean "for anons."
>OP was anon, then I tried to provide some (admittedly not brilliant) OC at ... And I tried to give the OP some advice on poetic metre, so don't come the cunt with me now, you slag.
>come the cunt
Nice phrase. I remember once when I was working at a place refinishing tables, my boss told me to apply more pressure with sandpaper by saying, "you're not padding a pussy."

Anyway, once this thread ran its course with your helpful advice, I made a comment about a mistake, and we continued cheerfully in that direction until an anon made a joke about tripfags being an infestation. Being an adult, I took the joke lightly. I hoped we could continue making jokes, but then I was called out several times, to which I replied reasonably as possible, and now we're here. Is there something I'm missing? Because it seems like another thread got derailed with triphating bullshit.

Again, I know some tripfags start a lot of bullshit that doesn't add a lot to /lit/, but I feel that the anti-tripfag mentality also does a lot to take the discussion away from anything other than bickering? For example, take this thread right here. We could be contributing good or relevant content, like we both have earlier in the thread, but we have locked horns (pardon the cliché) in bullshit. Maybe we just let bygones be bygones?

inb4 there can be no anti-tripfaggotry without tripfags. Tripfags are here to stay and most of them don't constantly shit post, and those who do would shit post as anons, anyway.

>>1575563
That's how I felt!

>>1575555
>reference
Well, you did get quads.

Qualifications:
>I have no college education save three semesters at BLANKETY COLLEGE I spent taking art classes. I never went to these classes, instead spending my time watching James Bond films in the library. I have seen every James Bond film.
>I can write good original content. I believe this email speaks to that.
>I make no mistakes. Check this email. Flawless.
>I have an active online presence. I write a web comic called BLANKETY BLANK. It has garnered a huge amount of views for a web comic so half-assed.
>I have no marketing or public relations experience except that I am a socialist, and I see every advertisement and press release an attack on my dignity and naturally I think about that type of thing a lot.
>I have no idea how you are used to marketing Poketo, thus every idea I have on the matter will be one from a fresh perspective.
>I've been using computers since my father first stole one from his work when I was a child. I was making complicated spreadsheets in elementary school. I was one of those kids.
>You want someone smart, capable, creative, funny, and free-spirited. Ask yourself, does that sound like the type of person that went to college?

I'm online in a few places in addition to the web comic mentioned above:
>BLANKED OUT
>BLANKETY

In reading my cover letter, you may think that I am not being serious. This is not true. I want to work for you. You may also think that if I really wanted the job, I would present my qualifications and resume plainly. This is also not true. If I sent you a copy of my resume with a straight forward cover letter, I would not get the job. The ridiculousness of this cover letter is a testament to my interest.

It's late, ie time for shitposting.

I found this ad
>http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/wri/2227725672.html
And submitted the following cover letter. I will post the response I certain to get later.

---

TAKE DOWN YOUR LISTING,
YOUR SEARCH IS OVER

I have little relevant experience, but I am a fantastic writer. See how you're intrigued? I can do that to your customers. It's called shock value. Bam. Try it some time.

(cont'd)

>>1575449
God, whoever wrote that in the chalk has beautiful handwriting.T

>"Why? So Tofu can pick it apart?"
>I am feared on the Internet.
>do-better
Why hyphenate?
>Ability to criticize is not dependent on ability to do better
That's an interesting point, and I like you for saying it.

>>1575426
Nah, it's cool. What I said was totally uncalled for, and I could have done it without being a dick.

>>1575389
No, I dropped out of community college. I'm a bit pedantic, that's all.

>>1575405
>resist urge to critique this post, too
Honestly, I was a roll from the last one, and I was being a dick, so I apologize.

>>1575356
>holy shit dude, burn
Nope.

>Your thesis
Nope.

>The continued existence of environmental racism
Cut first four words, capitalize the fifth.
>has created a quiet chaos
The fuck is quiet chaos? It hasn't really created chaos at all. Chaos is something like the state of Libya right now. Although environmental racism is horrible, it's not chaos. Also, it isn't quiet either, because there is a lot of activism against environmental racism.
>in poor, lower-class
Don't repeat yourself, and you need a comma after this.
>minority neighborhoods
Another comma
>and harmed quality of life for all American citizens.
I think the point was that the poor and/or minorities are disproportionately affected.

>>1575315
>"I feel bad for your teacher who will not only have to read your awful "thesis statement", as I have just suffered through, but unlike me will then have to continue on and read the rest of what will likely be a similarly horrible paper."
>This is your thesis statement.
>I will criticize it.
>You put quotes around "thesis statement" to discredit the quality of his thesis statement, but doing so implies that he didn't actually present a thesis statement, when, as shitty as you think it is, it certainly is a thesis statement.
>The comma after "thesis statement" is unnecessary.
>"read ... as I have just suffered through". Here, you describe reading in two different ways, because you are dumb.
>"continue on": You could just say continue
>"and read the rest" replace with "through"

Just sayin.

>And in a punishment
Punishment implies that the teacher did something wrong. Try 'abuse', perhaps.
>that is arguably even worse than reading your garbage in the first place
You need a comma here
>he will be forced, by the obligation of his occupation, to give a serious assessment of your paper and offer a grade and "constructive criticism",
I imagine that people don't become English teachers to read fascinating prose by students, but to help the students become better at writing.
>as if it merits anything more than the attention required to lay on it a coiled log of steaming shit.
I think you mean to say "merits anything more than a coiled log of steaming shit." The amount of attention it takes to lay a coiled log of steaming shit is probably quite a lot -- there are a lot of factors to consider, such as the risk of being caught, landing on the 8 and 1/2 by 11 inch target, and how to deal with the eventual punishment (see what I did there) of defecating on a student's homework. You have implied, due to your lack of attention, that his paper deserves quite a lot of attention.

>>1575319
aww thanks!

I was really hoping this thread would continue. I'll try take it somewhere.

>>1575289
>Is this good:
>"Racial prejudices are responsible today for not only the turmoil that exists in social space but also the average American's breaking down sense of community"

It fails to mention environmental racism, which I think is what the essay is supposed to about. It's better than mine in that it relates it to old fashioned racism. I don't like "social space," it sounds like jargon, and "breaking down sense" is a little awkward.

>>1575308
Oh, very funny! Golf clap.

This whole thread was pretty good before some anon picked a fight, though, derailing the whole thing in another blast of anti-tripfag trolling.

>>1575297
Don't you have some dicks to post?

>>1575270
>Racial prejudices are responsible today for not only the turmoil that exists in social space but also the average American's breaking down sense of community
vs.
>"American minorities are subject to environmental racism."
Man, we have different objectives in our prose.

Sounds good to me, 'cept you don't need a dash between 'low' and 'socio'. Also, is it deteriorating the life of all American citizens, or just the poor ones; your thesis fails to make that clear. Also, don't say 'low socio-economic neighborhoods' when the word 'poor' will function just as well. Also, you repeat yourself. Also, is environmental racism affecting the poor or minorities or both (I really don't know, and your thesis doesn't make that clear).

Read this, and the whole guide, if you're up for it:
http://www.economist.com/research/styleguide/index.cfm?page=673899

Fuck it, I'll just rewrite it.
"American minorities are subject to environmental racism."

Bam.

I dropped acid with this big day planned once, I was gonna go to the library, and the beach, and so on, but then I said fuck it and went to my mom's house. We hung out, I played guitar, it was a good time.

>>1575198
>by popular demand/one samefag, a response
If an anon says he hates tripfags, or feels they are an infestation, I respect that opinion, because for the most part, he's right. I enjoyed the story, and understand that the anti-tripfag sentiment is so much a part of the culture of /lit/ that the infestation being composed of tripfags could function as a punchline. Furthermore, I know that any attempts to convince him that some tripfags make good posts will be a waste of energy.

Thank you for your time.

>I will show my cock
D&E is that you?

>>1575132

>>1575114
>frisco
But you're fine with the SanFran?

>right a paper
use a level.