/lit/ - Literature

>>5108420
ok i hella enjoyed this and you can tell in my voice.

i should have redone it but i don't read first or edit or redo because it ruins the integrity, but if you turn the sound down a bit it'll be easier to hear properly.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0hNdtaflYxw

>>5108416
i'm sorry i'm sloppy in this. the enjambment is fun when read to oneself but because i don't read the poems before i read them for audio it gets me a bit off.
thanks for sharing.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1bVzHPm98rh

>>5108362
basically, it's just a story of the only three characters: the sun, the moon, and the earth.

the moon is narrating and speaking to the earth about using her to build a spiral tower (a la 'the holy mountain' or just the tarot and other enlightenment archetypes).

she wants the sun to burn out and be with her (she's asking him to sleep, be washed in the tub and have his flames expired). the earth is playful and willing to help but doesn't really believe it will happen. that's why the second half of the poem is really important.

it may not be as striking, but it's the actual story.
you'll take from it what you will, and that's perfectly fine, but i feel you'd draw a similar conclusion if you begin reading my collective (which is unlikely)

>>5108369
wow and people think my mythology jump-ins are a bit much.

here you are. thanks for posting.
i took some xanax so now i'm a bit stumbly sry

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1BfrHX9AKJG

>>5108312
i'm glad you liked it. do you have any poetry you'd like to share in the other thread as apparently i've scared people off.

>>4957291
butterfly! i'm a pitchy princess of pentacles tonight

oofda http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ZhgLI8IqFl

>>4957235
i'm wasted on 4chan *sigh*

post 'em, come on i got an itchin' throat-need to get sounds coughed up

who cares about rhyme or reason or meter i can do w/e whenever whatever whoever

>>4884077
whoa, fuck off butterfly.

>>4884088
i only post using the name in my own threads you mean.

>>4881327
i don't even like dfw and i get dexies prescribed because i have adhd and you lot have all given me hella attention since i got here. if you didn't i wouldn't still be posting here however many months later.

it's your own fault.

>>4881361
no, i don't like reading things that are too short to really do anything with not that i do anything with other people's poetry anyway. super sorry, though. :(

>>4881314
lol im so funny im a girl i take dexedrine i type idiosyncraticly i read DFW pls lavish me with attention

>>4881303
i said treason you dummy i'm the queen and you're about to be beheaded.

>>4881285
>for no good reason
This is not your blog.

>>4881298
not in good graces

>>4881163
yeah, the line along the side is a bit of an eyesore. something doesn't really work as visual poetry if it's an eyesore. but the meter is really good and the rhymes flow well. it doesn't really capture my attention but it's a thing.

---------

thirteen summers

june bugs
me, crawling, pinchers
slurp sweat from
necks of boys who’re sweet
on girls, we stick to
ring fingers, pre-trending.
preening, shiny and green, they like
to smush us. how mean!

beetles beat us to the finishing line
up for backward barbed-cues.
i don’t mean to roast you,
but i have some questions, father!
“do you step on or inspect the sects
we made ourselves long for?” stretched thoraxes,
ask them for practice to
mangle us up.

i’m sorry
ants stepped in your flower,
left pollen prints
across kitchen’s crackled floor.
my mama’s got a hurtin’ back
and forth, she misses my papa
got picked up
by the cops yesterday. he buzzed
‘round bees perched on his helmet,
visor up, lookin’
cool was the wind
blowing right for best mileage?
i’m about to run
out of fuel.

lady bugs duel for my
affections run high as election
daze-walks closer.
i broke apart their wings
(all off and coughed them!)
downed words lovingly spoke
in hopes of surviving
more spots in my heart
and on their backs.
i can’t do anything but
mark them on.

they deleted my Sad Look as Grace as David Foster Wallace thread for no good treason so i am taking this thread here and going to do my own thing. no longer reading mediocre poetry for people who don't say thanks.

re-reading infinite jest while lucid-
and i'm finding myself enjoying it in places but i'm still kinda glad he killed himself.

but now i'm realizing whenever i talk about my mouth making inadequate saliva noises or say my forever used motto of "i'm just here" the quote-unquote smarties are gonna think i'm quoting this whacked out thing. the past stole my ideas again :(

what do i do what do i do what do i do

i might be having to write my book in this thread to prove to myself that I Am Not DFW so plz bear with me.

>>4880949
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Rf1t9TuJkS

>>4880930
i'm 21 and i still have teen angst T_t

>>4880902
http://vocaroo.com/i/s19tFyNv7zoB

not a fun one to read, sorry.

ty for the comforting affirmations.

i need a decent place to go too, or else i'm just going to continue thinking my poetry is shit hot. i mean, it is, but it could always be improved.

plus i like to have people read my work and be thoughtful about it and stuff.

>>4880765
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VtrRHpAPJI

>>4880733
it's not that we don't get it. it's that it doesn't read well or have any interesting imagery or sounds or shapes or words in general