Monster Girl Thread

[Anonymous No.]

Monster Girl Wiki: https://monstergirlencyclopedia.miraheze.org/wiki/Monster_Girl_Encyclopedia
Monster Girl Archive: https://mgearchive.neocities.org/
Content Aggregator: https://anubis.moe/
Writers list: https://mgearchive.neocities.org/writerlist.html
Fanart Galleries: https://mgearchive.neocities.org/fanartgalleries.html
Nextcloud Archive: https://st44244.ispot.cc/nextcloud/index.php/s/HYyFwJMp588a4tE

[Anonymous No.]

Sex with Dark Mages

[Anonymous No.]

>farming centaurs

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817716
She looks badass--has anyone else ever done any art of a greenworm?

[Anonymous No.]

I'm going to flush the encyclopedia down the toilet page by page.
That'll show those mean old monsters.
No, if it blocks and floods I will not call succplumber

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817847
Miss Cyclops is going to be *unhappy* about being called in to unfuck your pipes after doing something that catastrophically stupid.

[Anonymous No.]

You feel your Monster daughter is now old enough to be trusted being left at home all alone and so decide to let her have the house to herself for the day while you and your Mamono wife go out on a date just like the good old days.

While you both are gone, a generic horror slasher masked with a balaclava clad in a black jacket wielding a crowbar decides to pay your house a visit that night because his "lonely teenager" senses are going off and now he's breaking in quietly and is going to try making your little girl a statistic.

Do you think your daughter would survive?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817971
Anon, monsters are stronger than humans.
If he's lucky, all he gets is a dislocated collarbone as she flings him back out the window he crawled through.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817971
>Lil Miss Chesh spends the whole time toying with him.
>He's been driven nuts by her bullshit by the time we get home.
>She's also pretty tuckered out from all her fuckery.
>Her mother and I nod, and I pick up my little kitten to take to bed while her mother...
>Gives the would-be-murderer her toothiest grin.
>Three days later, a sleep-deprived, crazed man turns himself in.
>Swears my wife is staring at him behind every mirror and in every open window.
She probably is.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818018
Yeah but horror slashers are always stronger than normal humans too so he has a buff. The only downside to this buff is he tends to do stupid things more often.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817971
>Eel daughter
Poor guy gets the Home Alone treatment, but it's all slime and Legos. I'm still hosing him down and kicking his ass before I call the cops.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817971
Hellpup calls me in distress telling me she needs an ambulance
I ask what she did and how hurt she was
Hellpup shakes her head and stresses that it wasn't her who got hurt, just the man she raped hard right now, his bones are broken

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817955
she's going to be even more unhappy when she finds a flushed condom down there

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818063
>Heckpup married to a slasher villain
She can fix him. If anyone can, it's her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817971
He should have thought twice before breaking into a house with a tiger.
>>46818041
>The only downside to this buff is he tends to do stupid things more often.
That works in favor of monster daughteru going with the Home Alone angle.

[Anonymous No.]

If a Monster ever sees your tiny penis, she will make fun of it anon, you know that right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817716

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818145
... Can she threaten to step on it? While wearing heels?
Can she make eye contact with me while she says it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818145
I like to imagine being teased by a Troll because her large hand would make my cock look tiny.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818093
Yeah, I feel like all scenarios for this end up as either:
>Home Alone style shenanigans
>"Rape time!"
Which, I mean, it was a PG movie. Maybe IRL Kevin McCallister was a prepubescent RAPE MACHINE and it just didn't make the final cut. So maybe there's just the one scenario.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817971
>Baphomet daughter
Yeah she'd have no problems.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818357
What if the slasher put all her favorite candies and sweets on a high shelf?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817716
Mother's day is almost over! Have you told your wife you wish she was your mom yet?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818377
Megamorphosis and levitation

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818384
I would if I had one. Who doesn't want a loving, caring spider mommy?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818145
That's... That's not true...

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817971
>Married a Familiar
>Ensure my children are well versed in magic from an early age, including combat magic. I know it's of questionably legality, but it's like teaching a child that guns aren't toys. Magic isn't either.
>Wards get triggered anyway, Mother Familiar and I teleport home to see the crook half frozen from a cone of cold.
>Consider whether I want to hand him to the Hellhound policewoman or that nasty Dark Elf Witch in my local sabbath that's been looking for a plaything.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>Go to park
>A train pulls up at the stop
>Out of two cars floods out nothing but shirohebis
>Over 30 shirohebis in total
>They're all here in town looking for their true love

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818397
>have microdick
>really looking forward to incubizing so I can get fix that problem
>hook up with a dark mage, go the full nine yards
>freaky black-magic type sex
>get totally inundated with mamono mana, incubize overnight
>wake up
>one foot shorter in height
>dick is the same size
goddamn fucking pedophile women

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818502
Just look at the ground. If you don't make eye contact, they can't fall in love with you

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818502
what if you got on that car before they got to their destination?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818502
>secretly yell out "Wow, I want to marry that hebi!"
>escape while the station descends into chaos as the hebis riot while looking for the voice and fighting each other
dumb sneks

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818523
Still dangerous, you could bump into them. You could be wearing the same color as one of them. You could have the same phone as one of them. There are still so many ways that one of them could see you as their fated lover.

>>46818525
One of them would likely have claimed you. Their might be some others upset or disappointed, but they all want monogamous relationships and aren't going to attempt to muscle in on the first one to claim you.

>>46818527
>One of the clever hebis slips away from the fighting
>You don't even notice her slip away
>Just as you think you're safe enough to stop for a breather from your escape, a white, serpentine tail wraps around your waist

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818523
>anon thinks that acting all cute, shy and nervous in public is going to save him from being snexed by an assertive snake lady
laughable

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818502
This is why you have many friends to immediately sacrifice and abandon at first cause.
Failing that this is also why you should have an escape route everywhere.
>>46818527
>believing the horde will not find you
>soon will up in a lamia mating ball
You are not very bright anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818543
>coat over head
>standing (do NOT lie on the ground)
>motionless to avoid bumping into hebis
>on your phone so they can't peek under the coat
>snacks in coat pocket (should be home made if possible to avoid any attempts to feed you their cooking)
>earbuds on to drown out hebi babble they may sling at you
Congratulations, you're ready to live another snake-free day.

[Anonymous No.]

Thankfully loli hebis aren't real or I'd be in trouble

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818574
quicksilver pls go

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818559
>lay there for a day
>figure enough time has passed so you look up
>surrounded by smug looking hebis
>hebi'd on the spot

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818559
>Coat is same color as theirs
>Same type of phone
You've minimized your risk, but there's still a good chance you may be claimed!

>>46818554
I doubt many people will have 30 friends casually with them to sacrifice at any given time.
Be weary of planning escape routes. They've very capable at out-pacing you or slipping through tight spaces to reach your position. You must be prepared.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818582
Lying on the ground motionless for more than an hour in MGC is considered a sign of duress. Monsters are not only allowed to take you home to check your vitals, they're legally obligated to under the demon mayor's new good Samaritan act. As soon as your back hits the dirt, the countdown starts.

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine
A Yandere Bicorn

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818585
>hebi exploits a vulnerability in your Bluetooth connection to gain access to your phone
>opens your front cam and starts a facetime call with you
>starts going through your photos and deleting any pictures of other monsters you have saved while she starts talking about how to move your stuff into her place

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818603
>She preplanned a harem for you full of yanderes like herself
>You get zero say into who joins the harem
>It's the minimum harem size to satisfy a bicorn

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818574
I wish I had a childhood friend hebi
Imagine her tying you to a chair to claim you (with poor knots so you escape) or trying to look fierce at girls that want to play with you (but ends up looking cute so you hug her)

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818613
I really want to see what a yandere harem looks like

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Is a fox with big fluffy tai(s) and cute ears too much to ask for?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818697
yes
foxes are evil and not cute

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818697
it's hard to have just 1, for some reason they multiply

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818713
Do these girls look evil to you? Are they not cute?

[Anonymous No.]

Local vampire takes a vacation in the dessert kingdoms.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818760
>Dessert
That must be why they look delicious

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818754
very evil and very not cute
i bet they trick poor anons as often as they breathe

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818768
All that chocolate is going to their hips

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818768
God damnit all. Why must I screw up my spelling. Well even in this kingdom she will be the sweetest thing there.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818815
Really? I spell it that way entirely on purpose

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817971
She's a clown, therefore she herself is something of a horror character.
She'll be fine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818638
Yan Cornbuyer delivers an emotionless harem
>subservient Kiki who only 'cleans' Mastah because its her duty
>Automaton
>Alice who instantly resets and forgets
>Haku who is only 'doing it for research'
>Bratty Damph who is only doing it to spite her parents
So Yan Bicorn is the only one who expresses love and affection to her Anon

[Anonymous No.]

Goodnight Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, beware Salamanders that got into a certain genre of fiction.
Its how you end up running into one of those lizards with a cowboy hat, six shooter, and katana.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818894
>Its how you end up running into one of those lizards with a cowboy hat, six shooter, and katana.
The weeb ones bring out the gunblades straight of final fantasy or something

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818892
A lot of FFM where Anon is pounding the Automaton or the Kiki with his Bicorn waifu behind him hugging, caressing, wrapping around Anon, neckbiting, cupping the balls etc, getting off on the scene as if it was only her and Anon.
Haku sitting in the cuckchair watching and noting down every detail 'for research purposes' of course.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818768
many such cases

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818933
why do elves dress like sluts?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818918
Listen, Samurai westerns are great.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818920
Breasts are for something to play with mid-sex not something to have sex with

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818933
This is why you should always refuse envoys from the elves

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818935
it's traditional
the clothes stay the same size but the elves got bigger

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818935
It's their culture

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818943
>the clothes stay the same size but the elves got bigger
Should have never imported burgers to the elves, should have left them to eat twigs and leafs

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818942
but diplomacy

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818974
her outfit looks dumb, im gonna buy her a sundress to wear

[Anonymous No.]

I'm going to work, I don't have any smug chesh to hold me back in bed. Pain.

[Anonymous No.]

I feel like bicorns would give diminishing returns if you kept adding them to your harem.

Bicorn 1 gives you 5 additional girls, not including herself. Bicorn 2 is one of these 5.
>Harem size: 6
Bicorn 2 gives you 4 additional girls. Bicorn 3 is one of these 4.
>Harem size: 10
Bicorn 3 gives you 3 additional girls. Bicorn 4 is one of these 3.
>Harem size: 13
Bicorn 4 gives you 2 additional girls. Bicorn 5 is one of these 2.
>Harem size: 15
Bicorn 5 gives you 1 additional girl. Bicorn 6 is the 1 girl.
>Harem size: 16
Bicorn 6 cannot add any additional girls. So if you want variety, the additional girl given by Bicorn 5 should be neither be a bicorn nor a unicorn.**


**Any unicorns added would just be turned into bicorns as per the MGE canon and would count towards the bicorn count.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818980
I mean she's oiled her skin, it's clearly meant to be dumb on purpose like a reverse bunny suit

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818980
we need to go dumber

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818974
Diplomacy is not worth letting young princes get seduced by knife ears

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819009
>>46819024
this is why monsters need anon, they cant dress themselves
they are going to wear a long skirt and tasteful sweater. if they get uppity, they will get a funny shirt

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819032
they're willing to wear a shirt if you leave one unguarded

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819051
>leave one unguarded
This is why you lock your drawers, they will take everything if not

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818995
Ms.Haku's Treatise on Geometric Progressiveness.
>waifu one Bicorn (or wannabe slutty Unicorn)
>harem 5 Unicorns
>cuck&black them all with each other, and the 1stWaifu
>each new Bicorn gathers in a harem of 5 other random mamonos
Even if none of the 3rd-tier waifus are Corns, Anon now has a Harem of 25 mamonos and 6 bicorns.
If any 3rdwaifus are Corns, a new level of 4thwaifus can be added.
Its like MLM for becoming an Incubus faster and absorbing the population of otherwise single mamonos.
This can be repeated almost indefinitely until the supply of Corns runs out or the Portals fully open and harems for unmarried mamonos are needed less.

[Anonymous No.]

Click it

[Anonymous No.]

Gape it

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818523
rookie mistake, they would think you are sad and would not help themselves to cheer you up. And then they realise you are helpless without them.

[Anonymous No.]

ded

[Anonymous No.]

>wear comfy oversized sweater while at home
>its getting warmer so sometimes I sweat a little in it
>decide to swap it out for another
>the sweaty one goes missing before I can put it in the wash

WHERE

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819288
Gremlins stole it

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819288
the hag next door
its a elite dungeon if you dare to get it back

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819301
But she has plenty of huge sweaters!
Why would she take mine, I could only afford 2!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819304
You have to go to find out
You can find her huffing it in her bedroom

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819312
What a pervert!
I better report her to the authorities!

[Anonymous No.]

Which God do I have to worship to get into the best afterlife?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819321
>shares a sniff with the officers
>case dropped
Be thankful the cops didn't toss you into that hag den before gobbling you up

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819331
Worship Gaia and become one with the Earth. From red clay was man made

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819304
you'll have more once the two of you start sharing

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819369
Wait, what happened to the angel? Isn't there supposed to be an angel?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819369
I will not hold hands with cupids.
I will, however, haldly hold cupid butt. That nice, tight cupid butt...

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819343
But I don't want to share!
Those are my sweaters!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819410
She is on vacation

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819415
shut up and get in

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819342
I'd rather not

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819342
earth sex NOW

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818509
it's good that your wife likes you the way you are, i guess

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819424
NOOOOOOOOOO

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819428
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819441
Hope you like huffing hag boob sweat, nerd

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819440
I want to see how Dark mages behave after they become parents and anon starts acting as a responsible father

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819466
the way I see it, it's either:
- anon is their 'big brother' who still gets treated like a little kid by his wife but has authority over his kids
- anon is a normal adult in front of his kids, his wife's shotacon fetish is only indulged in private
- anon keeps his shota body and just acts exactly like a regular father anyway

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819445
this image is so hot. every time a single holst looks at you this is what she's thinking

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

I was nice to her literally a single time (helped her get her skateboard she somehow got stuck in a tree down) and now she follows me around everywhere like this and calls herself my girlfriend even, much to my consternation. She's almost ten years younger than me, can't she go bother the guys from her high school and leave me alone? I'm in my thirties, people are gonna think I'm a weirdo! I want a mature lady in my life damnit, not a shitty zoomer....

[Anonymous No.]

>Grab skateboard
>Grab boombox
>Grab greatest hits burned CD with every song downloaded from Limewire
>Show up to MGC skatepark
>Begin blasting Goldfinger
>Immediately wipe out on my drop in
>Drown in goth hag pussy who pretend to be younger than they are

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819657
Have you practiced writing such vomit-inducing shit, or does it come to you naturally due to your profound retardation?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819664
What did anon mean by this

[Anonymous No.]

>I assure you Ms. Newt you wearing casual shirt and jeans is a key part of my evil plan

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819685
>yes my minion this fancy steak dinner we're having is a vital part of my villainous plan

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819669
Some turbosperg assumes that anyone writing about Pyrows is his arch-nemesis strawman he came up with.
I have no clue where this came from, but you shouldn't try to understand a madman, lest you want to share his madness. Just ask shoggy instead, much safer.

[Anonymous No.]

>New hakutaku teacher
>Write on the board
>Vaccis eunt domus
>Laugh as she seethes about how wrong it is

[Anonymous No.]

Would you a conflict based mamono setting?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819815

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818502
Solution is simple, simply put on my "certified Lolicon" shirt and walk without fear

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819815
No it always sucks ass. Case in point:
>Spacebattles
The only conflict setting I would approve of is Not!Alexander The Great conquering the world to fulfill his dream of an all queen harem with his loyal bicorn steed at his side. And even then I don’t care about the battles only the attitudes and reaction of the proud haughty empresses and queens being forced into his harem and the shenanigans that come with it

[Anonymous No.]

>46819815
Blue Archive and Battllefield, two of my favorite /jp/ - Otaku Culture topics!
Also regular girls with cosplay ears gear, perfect for the Monster Girl Thread!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819731
Or maybe it's just that your post was incredibly low quality on it's own.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819879
what's so low quality about the post? You're avoiding the question, your wife is gonna be suspicious of you if you keep this act up

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819815
ace combat tier nonsense against an order rump state
nobody actually dies but it is all rather melodramatic

[Anonymous No.]

So you are huge hebi fan huh? Name 5 hebis then

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819914
>Not going Project Wingman
>Where Anon and his wizzo papillon piss off a sore loser order hotshot enough that he dark mana nukes California

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819932
>5 hebis
>they are all the same
>hebi hebi!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819932
Heby, Heba, hebo, Marie-Antoinette, hebu
>Conflict?
Yes but demon silver, Ironbeast did it right in my opinion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819932
Easy: hebi with the cute eyes, hebi with the really long hair, hebi with the short hair, hebi with the tan, goth hebi

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819947
>hydra hebi

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819947
Hebi hivemind

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819839
It's extremely annoying seeing any MGE story that's just your run of the mill grimdark setting

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819962
>>46819964
hebi

[Anonymous No.]

You remembered to lock your doors and windows, right anon?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819914
>>46819941
"You're a slave to history. Even after the Calamity. you and your ilk fight against the only order that can guarantee the safety of your people... You solely are responsible for this."

"What do yo have to show for yourself, Anon? Blood? Gold? A broken throne? I will bury you so completely, the world will turn over a thousand times before your body is dug up."

"You can't run, you can't hide! You made this decision long ago! You can't back out of this outcome!"

"I am Polovean! You think I take joy in fighting in my homeland!? Fighting my own people!? If you never showed up, I never would have lost everything I have."

"I should have defeated you when I had the chance. Just think! How many have you felled, Anon!?"

"If I had beaten you over Dark Rock, this war would have been over by now. It was a mistake. I intend to correct that. You know, they used to call me obsessed over you. Now, they call me their solution."

"Its me and you now. No distractions. No wingmen or comic relief side-characters. No war. Just me and you, whoever wins is the best fighter. Every safety is coming off. No second chances."

"Anon. You use the name of a dead celebrity, but what do you have fame over? The irrelevant? To be edgy and contrarian? The monstergirls and our demon lord is fighting for peace and love in this world and you are denying so many people and lives of that!"

"The people of the lands afflicted by this war and you and your ilk's actions. Do you know what you have taken from them?! Their homes! And for what!?!? To secede from the world, to remain 'pure' and 'human!?' What? You think you can fight this war again in fifty years time as you and your ilk eventually grow old, withered and decrepit!? Do you really think History will see it your way? You don't even care why you're here!"

"How does it feel to not have a country? To not have borders to define yourself against the world? How does it feel to not have ANY loved ones!?"

"Monstergirl-kind and our demon lord is building a new reality for mankind to be in peace and be loved! Our chance to be in a prosperous loving world! And this is how you've dealt with it!?!?"

"This is my Home! Here we are, fighting for Polove's Soul. This is the deal you made, right!?"

"What happens when you shoot me down!? Can you even think!? What will you return to!? Who will be your special girl or loving wife you will return to!? Where will you go!? We all know how this ends! So go ahead, shoot me down and see what happens to this world! Either way, your life ends today!"

"The rest of the New World and New Reality and even the demon lord herself will try to forget about you, but I won't! This is for the good of the world! I WILL DEFEAT YOU!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820058
Chuuni gets get bonked on the head

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819932
Shirohebi
Murasakihebi
Akahebi
Midorihebi
Mofuhebi

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820017
Locked, barricaded, escape tunnel dug and already south of the border.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820072
So you implying MGE Monarch plaps Crimson 1 dragoness mamono making her a pregnant but mellows her down to a happy and soon-to-be mother? Also...

>>46819941
>>Not going Project Wingman
>>Where Anon and his wizzo papillon
What makes you think or say Prez would be a Papillon? Is it wrong to imagine Prez as a shorter (and cuter) than usual Lizardwoman pilot?

[Anonymous No.]

>knock down miss ryu
>she wakes up with ex dragon punch
>lose
Wow I was blocking bugged mamono mechanics dood

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820099
Prez is a papillon purely be because Anon’s callsign is Monarch and he really likes butterflies so he’d never pass up the chance to fly with one. Also they smell good :)

[Anonymous No.]

>Dragonia tour guide lets you ride her
>get so excited about riding a dragon that you forget about monster girl sex for the rest of the day
>meanwhile your tour guide is starting to get annoyed with you
>"I finally meet a human and all he wants to do is sit on my back all day"

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820154
Would she like a piggyback ride in return?

[Anonymous No.]

>46819815
Ban him.

[Anonymous No.]

>46814863
It got 400.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820259
19 hours for the reply, lmao

[Anonymous No.]

Anon really think he will be getting anything more than devil bug or belzebub

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820341
I'm not good enough for a Devil Bug.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820341
I have a job, I'm mostly clean, my flat is mostly clean, I dislike bugs so yes I will get something else like a kiki

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820365
Actually only the trashiest and unkempt anons get kikis

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820373
I can't hire one through the maid academy?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820365
>flat
Would you like a Polish or Albanian kiki guv’nor

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820382
Sorry we don't have kikis available now
Is shog OK?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820387
Wut? Flat doesn't mean appartement ?
>>46820395
Can she turns into a werecat with fluff?

[Anonymous No.]

I will breed my belzebub wife and use all my hundreds of daughters to bring the apocalypse

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820387
>>46820395
Stop responding to this vermin

[Anonymous No.]

Guys, the Maid Academy isn't just Kikis and Shogs. Any mamono with the Heart of a Maid can apply and attend. Why, there's a rumor that one of the succs attending is secretly a lilim!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820479
I want, nay, I NEED a kunoichi maid.

[Anonymous No.]

Are drunk goats lightweights or is their wine just that hard?

[Anonymous No.]

Wine gote milk....

[Anonymous No.]

could I trick a succ with miracle whip?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820756
>Yes Ms. Succ I jizzed into this white plastic container
>Why is my cum so airy and buttery?
>I drink a lot of milk of course
>What? You wanna do a direct comparison?
>That’s unneeded Ms. Succ you already have my cum surely you don’t need mor-
1/10 trick

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Hug your wife close to your chest while sleeping and make her addicted to your heartbeat. You're not doing it right unless she experiences withdrawal symptoms.

[Anonymous No.]

My post got transported into the shadow realm

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820867
>mousefag
Wherever he is I hope he’s happy

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820867
>Do that with kot
>It works
>But now I'm addicted to her purring
Ah

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821026
Should've known the post was typed by big meaty paws

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820341
Nah, I'd win.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820756
Foodplay is how you get American sized monsters, and nobody wants that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821272
ha ha, yeah...

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821289
Unrealistic, not brown and ugly

[Anonymous No.]

I don't want a wife. I want a slave, an obedient one that will never disobey me, be happy to serve however I wish.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821486
So you like femdom, frenchie.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821486
what a bore

[Anonymous No.]

I'll take American jabberwock

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821500
I would love to see how you seethe if the portals opened and mamono mana gave me exactly what I want and I'm basically riding on my monster's back with a whip in hand and she's into it because mana makes her that way, and you can't do shit about it. It's okay, you'd soon forget anyway once you find a monster that will fulfill your wish and rocking you in a cradle.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820341
As long as she loves me

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821561
You are getting AGRESSIVELY french here for no reason, mr. femdom lover.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821500
Nah, slavery is bad. This >>46821486 is """"cool"""" on paper but devoid of love and affection, I despise it as much as femdom
I want a traditional nuclear family and some maledom during sex.

[Anonymous No.]

Dom this, dom that. Switch is true king.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821569
You are mad because you know the series works this way and you wish it didn't. You get so mad about this you start projecting and bring up hellhounds and futa, sometimes both out of nowhere, people should be more worried about you than me. Too bad for you MGE will let me maledom as much as I want hon hon hon hon hon :^)

[Anonymous No.]

Do not hate the man
Pity him, for the curse of being french is truly the worst punishment god can inflict upon mortal men
He suffers so we don't have to
Also post fat kots

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821587
Kek, doesn't sound like the frog, try harder

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821587
What the fuck are you even babbling about? And do you get so utterly mindbroken by someone calling you french?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821586
I just want to grill for god's sake.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821610
That's because I'm not the frog, I'm just shitposting.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46810207
Do anyone have this card for Tavern AI?
Need mon chan

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821594
It's not that bad, we eat good food and have a wide variety of drinks.
Fat kot are made to be turned into Fit kot

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821650
False, fat kots are for being lazy
And milking

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Lewding the friends should be outlawed.

[Anonymous No.]

What happens if I accept the danukis proposal?
I need the money to keep buying rocks for my rock collection.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821670
With a childhood friend pyrow you have no choice but to lewd her. The game was over before it even begun, so to speak.

[Anonymous No.]

I hate the fr*g, worse cunt than Mick

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821670
friends have needs too

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821670
theres no point stopping it now, they've been lewded to the extremes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821725
>>46821734
Cerulean posts.
https://litter.catbox.moe/sanrc5.jpg

[Anonymous No.]

Friends...?
This is anon's best friend.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821797
... too many friends.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821797
Tall fox lady booba...

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821670
You don't get to bring friends

[Anonymous No.]

see fren
hug fren

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821869
Sack crepe blue

[Anonymous No.]

>"FRIEND?"

[Anonymous No.]

Fuck your bro.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821927
Eww, no. I'd rather fuck my sister

[Anonymous No.]

I’d rather be adopted and cuddle with my !momster

[Anonymous No.]

I want to have a wholesome relationship with a Hellhound and pet her and give her fluffy hugs and grill her tasty treats and not get raped by her in return. Surely if I treat a Hellhound nice and call her a good girl she won't rape me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822026
Yeah. Sure.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822026
might just get the elusive heckhound ASKING you to mate with her.

[Anonymous No.]

What sounds does a hellhound make upon seeing (and smelling) the guy she’s about to make her husband?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822154
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7KYPQQH5Eo

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822154
if they dont have a visual on him, but caught his scent
>loud moans as they sit there enjoying the intoxicating smell for a few seconds.
if they see him before smelling him.
>a slight chuckle before pouncing.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm going to go outside and proclaim loudly "Wow, I really love the amazon press position."

What's the first mamono that will appear to attack me?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822154
Guttural pre rape yawps

[Anonymous No.]

When dragons get uppity, remind them of the time a rata holding a citrus fruit won a world tournament

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822255
>I really love the amazon
What do you think, retard?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822255
Kikimora

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822255
Jubjub or Baphomet

[Anonymous No.]

Buffspider

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822289
Double ew.

[Anonymous No.]

What's worse
A hellhound acting like a kikimora
or a kikimora acting like a hellhound?

[Anonymous No.]

Its getting too hot again, need a tall zombie dragon that can encase me in cool wings so I can actually sleep without having loud fans on

[Anonymous No.]

I will physically abuse anf mistreat hebi since she will love me anyway

[Anonymous No.]

What if pyrow, but smart?

[Anonymous No.]

What if the gaijin claps when he shouldn't while praying in the fox temple?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822362
that's the gang leader. she knows where to find nerds, cause she can think like a nerd.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822404
do americlaps really?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822404
>Dumb anon sitting in the middle of a nice shrine with a bunch of foxes of different sizes and tail counts and colours
>The 9 tailed one at the front finishes her speech
>He doesn't know what she said, but it sounded cool and important
>While every other fox bows their head in silent respect, he starts to clap like an idiot
>Beaming and grinning, even takes a picture (with flash on) of the 9 tailed fox

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822324
I can't think of downsides for either of these.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822408
>cause she can think like a nerd.
She may be book dumb, but she can read people so well she can actually pull off the
>Your next line is gonna be
trick reliably

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46819663
Need big titty goth exhausted businesswoman GF

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821970
Ahem.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

ded hours

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822625
>undead sith that start off almost hairless and get more of their fur back the more you fuck them.

[Anonymous No.]

Remember when the mods are actually nuking the off topic spam earlier last week?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820600
Chateau Romani

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822324
>hellhound acting like a kikimora
Best hellhound
>or a kikimora acting like a hellhound?
Horrible

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822686
Mods are only interested in deleting posts that make fun of them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821927
Made for mating pressing and impregnating

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821900
Best friends

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822709
Sometime they protect the frog when the anti-frog go too hard on him. Weirdly Cait sith shitposts disappear when it happens

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822324
>a kikimora acting like a hellhound
I'm intrigued...

[Anonymous No.]

Remember your hellhound daughters will try to dominate and rape you too

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822835
You're the maid and you will get fucked in the ass by the huge kiki

[Anonymous No.]

Me when femdom

[Anonymous No.]

Me when comfydom

[Anonymous No.]

me when boredom

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823003
What would comfydom with a pyrow look like?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822851
I can roll up a newspaper. Go ahead, pup. Make my day.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818629
Not the biggest white snake fan but they would make top tier childhood friends

[Anonymous No.]

I want not for a wench to be tied down to, I wish only to go on Knightly adventures for all the rest of my life! A Knight like myself cannot be forced to betroth, I will simply ride away into the sun as I always have.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Designed for hunting human men

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823097
Don't do it anon. If you fuck up your liver you'll miss the portals opening.

[Anonymous No.]

hug the sluge

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823270
My heart rejoices at her successful quest to reach papa

[Anonymous No.]

How would you choose one monstergirl to be your wife? I'm pretty indecisive so haven't been able to just pick one.
On one hand automatons because cute kuudere robot wife. On the other hand i recently thought i wonder what kissing a vamp is like and now i can't get the thought of licking her fangs out of my head. Not to mention manticore because tail seggs. I can't choose bros

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823251
Lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823310
>How would you choose one monstergirl to be your wife?
Easy. There's one that ticks so many damn boxes at once that no one girl comes even close to her for me.

[Anonymous No.]

Vampire not so smug when found snacking on the bag of blood meal.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823310
I don't. Truth is there are a lot of dynamics and girls i could fall deeply in love with and trying to optimize it to get some kind of objectively best choice is soulless. I'm not much of a picky guy, as long as she loves me just as much as i love her. I definitely have favourites, but not really one i can say is objectively best.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822686
This morning someone did their job and deleted a bunch of WHFaggot's off-topic shitposts, guess it depends on who answers the reports at the given time

[Anonymous No.]

number 15 the bogie
the last thing you want to see in mirror is 7+ ft tall bogie with rapeface
but turns out its just might what you get

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823419
that boy has got a one way ticket to the insides of that clowns suit, entrapped against her bare white clown cleavage

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823419
I don't think bogies have a rape face. I find their smiles to be rather charming, personally.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823310
You pick the fetish you like. For example.
>manticore has a tail.
>anubis is autistic
>cait sith is smug and furry
It's not like profile art or even the description really matter since saying you like girl X is only useful as a rough indictator for your collection of fetishes.

[Anonymous No.]

Tallest fairy?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46821670
I wanna help the extinct species beastgirls repopulate and recover all the way up to Least Concern

[Anonymous No.]

>Work as a pilot for a rental helicopter business
>Mostly provide short trips and air tours for the rich
>Dick hurts from monsters constantly trying to join the mile high club by groping the pilot
>Made the company wealthier just through old wealthy mamano taking air tours just to try to seduce the pilot

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823624
What about her?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823682
How is she so big?
Aren't fairies supposed to be small?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823691
It's an illusion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823691
She drank lots of milk and ate veggies like dad told her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823682
Shrank with fairy magic and put inside this titanias tits

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823120
she invites you to games night, you sit down on the couch then she sits on your lap, then her other pyrow friends walk out and sit next to you, their soft bodies pressing into you, almost distracting from the game. One walks behind the couch and wraps her arms around you, her large, pillowy chest resting on your nech and shoulders and upper back, wordlessly begging you to lie your head back and relax on her instead
and when you still manage to focus and win a difficult encounter, they'll cheer for you and the group hug, with the kiss by the original Pyrow friend who invited you, it feels like you're gonna melt now
and you look at the clock and see that the night is only just starting, like that singer once said, "If this is just the beginning, my life's gonna be, beautifu~ul"

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823770
>resting on your nech
meant to say "neck"
serves me right trying to write with only one hand and half my blood not present in the cerebral cortex

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823310
either get the first one i find from my "yes" list, or go the harem route (unlikely but hey, never say never)

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823781
>half my blood not present in the cerebral cortex
As opposed to when half of your blood is in your cerebral cortex?

[Anonymous No.]

I hope you like Egyptian Revival architecture anon because you're going to be seeing a lot of it

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823310
I actually don't think it's that important of a question. I'd be perfectly fine with a number of monsters and you'll be happy no matter what. At the same time, there will be those lingering "what if" doubts no matter what as well unless you're laser focused on one type as you're clearly not. Me, I'd just choose an eel if I had reason to believe I'd be able to live somewhere appropriate for her and comfortable for me or a succ otherwise. I'm a simple man.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823900
>you'll be happy no matter what.
Even with a sandworm?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823895
Does that include Art Deco?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823895
I mostly stare at a screen anyway

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823842
it was a joke about how the penis gets erect and takes blood away from circulation, which in turn lowers the supply of oxygen to the brain
it wasnt a funny joke because, again, it was written while the penis was erect and so on
hakutaku-san please forgive me

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823895
I love this pharaoh
>The smug superiority in her eyes
>That dick sucking grin
>Her giant tits and wide hips
>That little bit of chub on her belly

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823997
>hakutaku-san please forgive me
PLAP PLAP PLAP
GET EDUCATED GET EDUCATED GET EDUCATED

[Anonymous No.]

You've thrown of the empress's groove

[Anonymous No.]

Help

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824021
Do you think the tail can... digest?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824018
If I offer to scrub her scales will she let me go? Last time miss harpy was too busy eating lunch to catch me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824018
Oh well, into the crocodile pit I go

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824047
Someone needs to inform the Empress that crocodile pits are not OSHA compliant.

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine walking behind a pear loli Kejourou, and the swaying curtain of long black hair keeps parting slightly and giving you seductive glimpses at the outlines of her big breedable butt showing clearly through the kimono.

[Anonymous No.]

Is bastet a cat taur.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823770
Would a pile of pyrows be called a pyre?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824131
Either way it would be hot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824072
>boob hat
Looks pretty OSHA compliant to me.

[Anonymous No.]

It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824047
Would a croc have a Cajun or Aussie accent?

[Anonymous No.]

mud pussy

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824184
>The lights are not all on upstairs
They are, but nobody is home.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823770
Honestly if even one pyrow snuggled to me I would melt
Pyrows are comfy

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824184
I understood that reference

[Anonymous No.]

If I made another mge model I think I would make either cheshire or demon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823941
>Even with a sandworm?
Setting rules say you won't end up with a monster you can't at least grow to love, but the scenario in question lets us straight up choose. Don't actively try to make yourself unhappy and you're golden. As always, really.

[Anonymous No.]

Just stay on capybara.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824210
You can grow to love anything if it rapes enough mamono mana into you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824189
Depends on the species
from what I understand, Crocs are all from oceania, while Gators and Caimans are their North and South American cousins respectively
but I might be very wrong though

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824218
forgot pic

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823941
i would like being with a sandworm
especially if I could bring a laptop with me but even if not then just leaving all the tough human life behind and retreating under the dunes is cool with me

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824214
even if i was a little grumbly about it i'd warm up when the rapechildren start being born

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824148
Just have to make sure not to get buried under the pyrows for several times in a row

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824212
That place has a lot of mge too. And the same memes. It's probably the same posters.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824212
Fuck off he belongs on /vg/, I don't want to see more of him there.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824263
The wonderland Baphos are quite meaty

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824218
Not quite. Crocodiles exist in central and insular america, africa and south and east asia. Alligators and caimans are mostly a florida+amazonas thing, and don't forget the gavial, which only lives in india.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824248
Oh, so it's ok if it only happens once in a while?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824358
>hello? you want fo roll wit me and do the needful, yes?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824399
>Designated sexing stream

[Anonymous No.]

ded

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824543
ded deez nuts lmao

[Anonymous No.]

Look at that big tail.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824543
Good

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824543
What monster girl do you want to strike down dead the most?

[Anonymous No.]

*belly gurgles*

[Anonymous No.]

Damn those hags and their giant milkers, I can't help but try to look away lest they sense blood in the water and pounce, why can't they at least cover up their massive cleavage and subtle chest stains? No sense of decency, it's like they can detect when and where to strike vulnerable men.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46820341
How do you think the bugs would feel if they heard that?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824797
bugs don't have feelings

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824790
>He avoids looking at the pretty ladies
>Like a cute little shota
Buddy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824778
Flying to Wonderland just to sing "I Conquered All The Chippies" and "Who Ate All The Pies" at every Jabberwock I come across!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824212
Capybara's an even bigger clusterfuck than /mon/ was so perfect fit for him.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824819
I'm expertly looking at my phone at convinent times to feign ignorance and have no way been marked as an easy target by hags. Completely coincidental that an increasing number of older manamo have begun to appear in my daily life, must just be a small migration for the summer to warmer climates.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824007
I like how she looks slightly evil despite her intimate leaning in "I'm interested" posture and close distance to the viewer. Maybe she has an apophis grandmother somewhere in her family circle

[Anonymous No.]

>>46823977
A mix between art deco and Egyptian Revival like the IRL 1930s is basically how I imagine a modern city run by a pharaoh would look

[Anonymous No.]

I will NOT move to the Pharoh town. I dont care how many anubi they send.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824963
>he thinks he has a choice
lmao

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824543
>Half adopting, half employing a loli Ochimusha
>Watching your little bodyguard's meaty pale ass jiggle while she's training her swordsmanship
>Bathing together with the young Ochi after she insists on protecting you from ninjas, getting your back washed by her and helping her wash her long hair in return despite her protesting
>Inviting her into your bed and having her serve your cock with her body late into the night
>Watching your little bodyguard's meaty pale ass jiggle while plowing it from behind in lanternlight

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824963
If you won't move she'll simply come to you and buy up the entire town around you

[Anonymous No.]

There was a little spanish flea
a raping star she thought she'd be

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

The cat tail is going to pull on you.

[Anonymous No.]

How mainstream are monster girls nowadays, especially MGE?
Anon, your thoughts?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46818974
I believe it's spelled "butt diplomacy" sir

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825141
That's just ass kissing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824954
why is the pharaoh so cool?

[Anonymous No.]

I hate Danuki, I have the Danuki brain virus and no it doesn't involve their fucking breath.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825051
>Anon gets gentrified by big tiddy desert girls
A fate worse than death, truly

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822453
>>46822404
This is why you should go for a Youko from the Mist Continent. They don't have these convoluted ceremonies in their day to day lives.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825220
Her body has been room temperature for centuries, only ice queens are cooler.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825249
>snake and pharaoh both want your body heat
no escape...

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825227
the cure is big nuki tail

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825249
Makes sense, Pharaoh and Ice Queen are both top tier

[Anonymous No.]

Pharaoh more like Scareoh.
As in she's so ugly she's scary.
it's an insult.
i am not an apophis.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825227
Is Danuki breath different while they are fucking? Is it more sniffable?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46824224
>on vacation in Monstralia
>at the pub getting a cold beer since it's hot as fuck outside
>giant salt water croc comes in and calls you a soft cunt
>drinks a few liters of VB and informs you rather bluntly that Monstralia is too dangerous for a tourist like you and that she's taking you home

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825461
Bad end, mate. Shoulda told her yer a spiderfag.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825461
>Oi, Charleen, where'd youz get that bloke?
>found 'im in the pub
>crikey, lucky he didn't get grabbed. you claimin 'im?
>reckon I will. don't see why I wouldn't
>top stuff, mate. let me know if he's got any brothers, yeah?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825273
No do not. I don't want her to tell me my kintama are her most precious collateral.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825461
Nuh-uh, I have a hat with forks in it, I'm immune.

[Anonymous No.]

when the mgs betrayed me they made a mistake

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825461
I don't understand what she's trying to say about drop bears and dingos

[Anonymous No.]

I would do horrific things to an anubis if she was in my bed, nude and vulnerable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825706
>"STOP IT!"
>"STOP IT NOW!"
"No," Anon says between mouthfuls of crackers.
>"You're getting crumbs everywhere!"
"They make sleep crunchier."

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825706
an Anubis has heard your plead and have made herself at home in your bed. problem is that she dosent look vulnerable at all. she is ripped, over 6 feet tall and have a piercing gaze that could make even a hellhound sink to the ground with floppy ears. still she lays there, awaiting your move.

[Anonymous No.]

bully succuviruses
>"so as I was saying. When I get moved into my automaton body I'll-"
>right click succuvirus midspeech
>"Eh? Wait...."
>scroll down to actions
>"No... Nononono not again!"
>click dance
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M TRYING TO BE SERIOUS DON'T YOU DARE"
>click macarena

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825746
Those guard anubi are getting desperate.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825706
I would do lovely things to an anubis if she was in my bed, nude and vulnerable.

[Anonymous No.]

How do impress a tsundere dark elf so she’ll date me?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825746
get in bed with her, put my face in her chest, pull up the blanket, and go to sleep with my new daki.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825746
Mating press

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825799
turn shadow into spear, suggestively shove it down her throat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825779
! !

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825799
even tsun tsun monsters cant help themselves from claiming you once you make a few heartfelt, dorky romantic gestures. try buying her flowers and stuttering while asking her out for coffee.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825779
I would do things to an anubis if she was in our bed, wearing pajamas and comfortable

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825946
like tuck her in and kiss her forehead and stuff

[Anonymous No.]

>when you have to choose between two routes

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825956
yeah, and maybe scratch her ears

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825235
Oh no! Fat sagging caramel breasts! However will I survive!? Woe is me...

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825748
>Creator programmed her with ragdoll physics
Another finger curls on the kakuen's paw

[Anonymous No.]

Is There Any Hard Evidence That MGs Actually Existed?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826043
i dont know man but this convinced me that wurms are

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826179
how do i deter this dangerous predator?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826191
>one tail
look at her in a vaguely intimidating fasion

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826198
unwise to take a fox at face value

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826223
that's why im inspecting her butt to see how many tails she's hiding.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826236
>getting a face-full of her hidden fluff
might as well marry her on the spot

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826179
EVIL

[Anonymous No.]

"Was very rude of me should've knocked first"
Taps door

Your POV: Violent Earthquake

[Anonymous No.]

I will lure tons of Fairies into my house with the promise of snacks and then slowly get them used to discourse like a whole class. I will then begin educating them on the differences of monarchy and democracy and teach them all that Titania is not a benevolent ruler, but a tyrant who wields absolute power over their kind. Slowly, but surely, I will amass the Fairies into an army and encourage them to overthrow their own kingdom to instead achieve a new Fairy state with no monarchs, alighting the flames of revolution and sending the Fairies into a full blown civil war between Titania's supporters and opponents. I will watch with popcorn as the fireworks go off from afar since I don't even live there to be begin with. It will be my ultimate troll....

[Anonymous No.]

Which mamono is both:
1) Edible
2) Delicious

[Anonymous No.]

I will lure a single fairy into my house and beg her to shrink me and have her way with my tiny body.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826293
>local man arrested for causing the biggest pillow fight in history

[Anonymous No.]

I wanna make a nun goat break her vows

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826293
Not even a perfect world can escape from the poison of the small hat tribe

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826399
monster vows go a little different

[Anonymous No.]

New lich daughter picture! Does your wife or daughter have a good singing voice?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Fragrance eau de chesh

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826426
i was thinking about zombie christmas carolers with their lich mom escorting them around
they aren't good but it's part of the charm

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826399
im going to use this

[Anonymous No.]

I'm going to the land of muscle monsters, where the foxes are /fit/, the cows are colossal, and the mantises muscular!

[Anonymous No.]

I want to gently caress an anubis' cheek and then run my fingers through her long, silky, black hair.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826404
>monarchy is.... good
>I want thousands to all be subject to the whim of a single person

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826519
Okay but make sure to include that the MC thinks he’s making the monster nun break her vows when in reality he’s helping her abide by her vows by having sex with her and knocking her up this is only explained at the very end when the head mistress very angrily demands to know why Anon keeps his relationship with one of the nuns secret when he should be open and make an honest monster out of her

[Anonymous No.]

>Approach hellhound
>Ask to breed her
>She gleefully accepts
>Doing it like the beasts go
>Last 2 minutes before blowing your top
>She laughs hysterically at your premature quickshot.
>Turns you over and pins you down
>Bullies you relentlessly for being so pathetic and weak
>Is secretly flattered and giggling with joy on the inside that you loved her so much that you couldn't hold back your desire

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826592
Whisper "it's time to breed" in her ear and she'll instantly ovulate.

[Anonymous No.]

Undead hours.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826773
best hours

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Which monster will visit you at 4 AM to ask for a cup of sugar?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826787
I would walk in and turn their music off. Night is sleep time not dance time

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826789
zombie.

[Anonymous No.]

G'night Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.
Instead, remember that even cheshire won't try and make your headache worse with pranking.
She'll just save her energy for when it goes away

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826789
They tend not to go out in the sunlight.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826791
>go to pull the plug
>they pull down your pants
The musical number was a setup anon, they got you right where they want you

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826789

[Anonymous No.]

>>46822362
Smart gyarus are too much. Too powerful. Too smug.

[Anonymous No.]

>Pharaoh is undead
>Mummies are undead
I bet the tismdogs are also undead, but are actually REALLY good at hiding it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826873
She looks like she's the one trying to give you some sugar. Something about checking out her cups too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826873
Old women should be in bed at that time. With me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826789
Bogie.
She's baking pies.
Cream pies.
And she needs you to give her both the sugar AND the cream.
But the sight of a giant clown woman standing silently in your doorframe in the middle of the night might be a bit too much.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826789
Vampires but they'll ask if they can come in and get it themselves.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826885
remember to gyaru responsibly and don't try to take on more than you can handle

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827025
>remember to gyaru responsibly
dont tell me what to do
i will gyaru irresponsibly

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827025
I could take on at least five

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827025
I'm not that much of a fan of their culture but I have a soft spot for that skin tone
https://files.catbox.moe/hrxqzl.png

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827046
You mean a hard spot?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827025
I will take on exactly one (1) gyaru. And I will be happy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827050
But her friends are, like, totes lonely.

[Anonymous No.]

I accidentally scuffed the ride of a Monster gang leader (a mean looking Lava Golem) opening my car door while I was parked at the grocery store. She told me if I didn't pay for it I would pay with my life so I panicked and drove off instead and thought I was safe, but yesterday I got a call from a random number thinking it telemarketer and when I answered it I heard her voice and she said "You had your chance."

Guys what do I do? What the fuck do I do?! I'm so fucking scared right now, I don't wanna get melted by lava WHAT DO I DO?! HELP ME!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827070
Seek refuge with the mofu mafia
You'll have to brush tails for life but it's better than lava, right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827067
They will be inspired by their friend's success and disperse in the local area, hunting for lonely nerds.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827050
it's really hard to pull 1 gyaru without aggroing the pack

[Anonymous No.]

You can defeat hags by telling them they are too young
They will get confused and you can get away easily

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827116
>"ufufufu"
>"the disguise worked flawlessly!"

[Anonymous No.]

Hags are extremely overpowered, but can be stunlocked by sleeping on their laps
This means that you can actually defeat them really easily if you have a buddy to do damage while you stunlock one.
In theory a DoT might also work, but with their massive health pool there is no DoT that would do enough, and the moment you stop the stunlock you get oneshot.
If you aggro more than one hag, just run.

[Anonymous No.]

If a Cupid or a Houri tells me that love is real, I will tell them I don't believe them and say "prove it"

What will they do?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827156
probably summon some backup dancers and do a musical number

[Anonymous No.]

It's all ogre

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827205
For some, it never even begun, you know.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827156
Throw whoever is at the top of the waiting list at you

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827156
They will do a lot. This is the sight you will wake up to in the morning.

[Anonymous No.]

I will love cheshire
But then tell her it was a prank haha

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827241
dead man walking

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827241
knocking her up (as a joke)
marrying her (as a joke)
raising a dozen kittens with her (as a joke)
living a long and happy life together (as a joke)

[Anonymous No.]

Reminder that burger-addicted monsters are extra weak against belly rubs
Jinkos stand no chance

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827273
>turning jinko abs into a soft tummy meant for groping
burgers are too dangerous for monsters

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827277
It defeats all of them and turns them lazy and useless
But in light of monsters being so OP, I feel like anything is fair game now

[Anonymous No.]

What if monsters start feeding YOU the burg?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827207
BE HAPPY

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827321
Finally some good fucking food

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827297
>haughty demon says she will claim your soul
>feed her burgers
>becomes lazy and only wears your shirts and panties with a dumptruck ass and a breast size that went up 2 cups
maybe we can defeat evil with burgers

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827205
Hey now
Here we go now

[Anonymous No.]

How fast can your kunoichi move?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827241
You're a sick man, look at her joyful face before your stupid prank

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827374
She can give a handjob so fast and precise she can go full "You've already came" and you end up orgasming before you even know what happened.
Not that she likes to do that since she prefers to enjoy the moment, but she can do this. It comes in... handy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827374
Fast enough that you bling ans shes already on your dick and the only response you can give is is "S-she's fast!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827333
order now and your burgers will be laced with whatever "improvements" you desire
Soon she might not even wear your shirts anymore because she keeps leaving damp spots on them

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827410
>your burgers will be laced with whatever "improvements" you desire
i will make them spicy and with extra holst cheese
maybe some sauerkraut and/or garlic cloves to be fancy

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827423
be careful not to fall to it's allure yourself anon

[Anonymous No.]

Its all well and good, but dont let them catch you sleeping
Once theyre on top, you wont get them off of you
oh and dont worry about what I laced those burgers with
Also happy (late) mothers day for no reason

[Anonymous No.]

Sorry guys. Abyss poker night is cancelled this week because miss nacho and mister spider are visiting the goat

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827500
where are the squid bros gonna hide from their wives now?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827505
Panties dont get to hide this week I'm afraid

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827374
Fast enough to kiss me before I can tell her that I love her.
She's a bit strange.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827046
Call me a chupacabra cause I'd suck on a goat like this.

[Anonymous No.]

Why aren’t you married to a slime?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827607
http://oblimo.pbworks.com/w/page/5537548/FrontPage

[Anonymous No.]

Always double-check, no wan in the bunker.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826643
I made this post.

[Anonymous No.]

What is a hebi's favorite band?

Whitesnake!

[Anonymous No.]

What is an apophis' favorite band?
Deep Purple!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46825460
It's more primal and if you're doing a real good job you even get a discount, five for the price of four and a half.

[Anonymous No.]

What is a greenworm's favorite band?
Korn!

[Anonymous No.]

What is wurm's favorite band?
The cute red one she wears on her shoulder to say she's a hall monitor!
Looking good, wurm!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46828778
I don't understand the American concept of the hallway monitor
Shouldn't the monitor be in class, studying?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46828778
Vote wurmy for class president!
Yes, Miss Dragon and Miss Lilim and Miss Vampire and Miss Ice Queen have all got expensive campaigns and grand speeches and extensive plans to remodel the class in their image.
Wurmy however.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46828892
Allie Anubis used to be the president, but she fell in with the wrong crowd...

[Anonymous No.]

>>46828817
Think student council president in anime, I imagine?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46828817
Americans don't study.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46828817
Wurm watches the hall to make sure it doesn't do anything funny.
As of right now, the hall has remained very hall-like.
Good job, wurm.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46828977
Maybe Wurm should follow that yellow line

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTpPta5XKas

[Anonymous No.]

hall wurmitor

[Anonymous No.]

>>46828912
She's nust following the latest trends that is all.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826426
Cute picture

>Does your wife or daughter have a good singing voice?
Yes, Wights probably have very lovely voices.

[Anonymous No.]

Touch fluffy ears.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46829705
>fox dirty sexting

[Anonymous No.]

yyyaaaaaaaassss more gacha spam, fucking finally, bros

[Anonymous No.]

>>46829731
Don't reply the spammer.

Reminder: The mods started nuking the gachaslop spam last week, it's a reportable offense breaking both multiple global rules and board rules.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46829746
Count your blessings. At least it's not breath sniffing spam.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46829776
>Reminder: The mods started nuking the gachaslop spam last week
and then promptly stopped, only coming back to ban people who called the jannies out for being trannies.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827254
I pull this prank on my best friend all the time and it never gets old.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46829839
Best horse

[Anonymous No.]

>Eyy bby, u wan sum succ?

[Anonymous No.]

where do i get insurance for horny monster related damages? im sick of having to pay for a new brick wall whenever some dense kid gets kabedon'd on my house

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830227
Shut up white boy and pay

[Anonymous No.]

>Don't keep me waiting, young man

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830227
Sorry but no insurance covers Acts of Dog

[Anonymous No.]

>>46826804
Very rapeable zombie here

[Anonymous No.]

>Have 5 daughters with your Echidna wife
>Obligatory Echidna followed by 4 Cheshires in a row
>You're either the luckiest or least lucky man alive

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830300
it's how zombie do

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830378
How mischievous is your eldest daughter?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830378
If an echidna's first pregnancy is twins does that mean they'll both be echidnas or will one be something else? Imagine the man that has triplets/quadruplets and has multiple echida daughters the same age.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830471
i like when fraternal sisters have some properties of the other species
hellhound with weresheep wool
kiki but jubjub
manticore mashed with cheshire
i do tend to adore chimeric messes though

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830559
>hellhound with weresheep wool

[Anonymous No.]

>You're a catfucker.
>What?
>You're. A. Cat. Fucker.
>No I'm not.
>You will be.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830626
maybe i should stop going to mamano fortunetellers

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830637
It's less of a fortune and more of an imminent warning.
Usually is with monsters

[Anonymous No.]

Dear monsters
If your eye is not this big and your tongue not this long, keep on scrolling

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830572
I demand characterisation for the rest of them >>46830559

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830626
Digimon made a great argument for sexy cats.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830718
jubkiki tries her hardest

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830559
>hellhound with weresheep wool
This sounds fun.
>manticore mashed with cheshire
[Screams externally]

[Anonymous No.]

>Cheshire cait sith
>looks up into your eyes while sucking your dick.
>"Yeah you like that, don't you? You fucking furry."

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830775
>eternal battle within on which persona is dominant

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830835
>[Screams externally]
Dont do that, fhats how she find you

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830885
>Chases you into hiding
>Makes a pun so bad you audibly cringe
>Tracks you down
>Flushes you out
>Repeat until she's poked you with enough spines and made enough bad jokes for you to pin her down and rape her instead

[Anonymous No.]

I want to come home from work and be greeted by my succubus wife who's wearing nothing but stirrup leggings, high heels, and a bra.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831002
>succubus
I see we got a man who lives for the exotic here.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831039
>Handlebar horns
>Lite wing hugs
>Spade tail to molest
Not him, but I couldn't complain about that.

[Anonymous No.]

What's the difference between all the -dere types of Jub Jub?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

about to get raped? whip out your business card to stunlock monsters

[Anonymous No.]

but what if YOU were the dork?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831112
I am.
Why do you think I hide from all the monsters? No way there is t an ulterior motive at play here.

[Anonymous No.]

my alp gf just told me she's actually just a normal flat succubus and was never a dude
what do

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831073
there is only jubdere, a love so deep and profound is surpasses all previously known measurements of love

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831039
Yeah, not everyone is cultured enough to appreciate futa cait sith, for heckin' shame

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

throw me to the wolves and il return a father.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831450
That's not a wolf, that's a cow.

[Anonymous No.]

i feel like i'd get a pavlovian response to the clanging of cowbells

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831475
You cant just call every girl sith big tits a cow.
I will not stand for this bovine erasure!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831503
>every girl sith big tits

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831478
That'll be a problem when your wife brings her friends around.

[Anonymous No.]

Just how many gacha images are there?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831550
Don't worry, he'll pull out his aislop folder if he ever runs out of gachashit.
Boy am I glad that jannies actually delete all that! Ha-ha!

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831073
I cannot imagine a tsun jub.
>>46831112
Honestly more likely than the opposite. What kind of women like dorks?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831550
Infinite, the only limits are how many hours of his day an obsessed shitposter wants to dedicate to spamming them and if the single mod on the entire website aware of the problem happens to see it.

[Anonymous No.]

she's an endangered species, you know

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831711
We're breeding as fast as we can, alright?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831711
I already agreed to breed her, you don't have to keep encouraging me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831711
So she claims, but I suspect she isnt being wntirely truthful with me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831711
... No she's not...

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831731
She seems like the type to let you be on top, but then leglocks you so you can’t pull out until she’s pregnant.

[Anonymous No.]

Turns out it doesn't matter where you hatch a nest of wurms, they all just make a beeline straight for Tokyo. Should have seen 'em go.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831711
>some ultra rare race like Lilim, Pharaoh or Ryu etc. calls herself an endangered species
>she's expecting you to do something about it
>the numbers support her claim, but something about this doesn't quite match up

[Anonymous No.]

>>46830910
>Waking up after 16 doses of Mantichesh venom in bed with her as she teases you over how “savage” you were when you fucked her.
>going over every detail of what you can barely remember doing with her, every scream of pleasure you pounded out of her and every time you came inside.
>as you’re freaking out she hands you a pregnancy test.
>It’s negative.
>Look over and see her giving the most adoring face she can as your heart skips a beat.
>”We’ll have to keep trying, darling~!”
>oh no she’s adorable

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831802
it'd be fun to be bearhugged and leglocked by a monster after you have the sheer gall to try and pull out

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831886
>mantichesh venom
now there's a bad trip

[Anonymous No.]

>>46827792
>Original materials 2006, 2007
What the fuck? I know slime stories are rare but there’s gotta be something more contemporary

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831866
Sounds like a recipe for getting locked in a love hotel with powerful aphrodisiac gas flooding the room

[Anonymous No.]

>>46817971
>me and kitsune wife out watching a movie
>suddenly get a call from my daughter
>excuse myself for a moment
>"hey dad, so HYPOTHETICALLY, say i accidentally killed a slasher villain, the earth kind, with soul fire. what would the gods do to-"
>"he's not dead, just knocked out. soul fire isnt lethal."
>"o-oh ha ha... so hypothetically, say there is a knocked out slasher villain on the floor who may wake up at any given moment."
>just call the sabbath and say you want to make a donation. they'll be there to take him away in less than 5 minutes."
>"alright thanks, lo-"
>"and just firmly tell them no when they ask if you want to join!"
>"yep, love you, bye"
>go back to the theater
>"so what was she calling about?"
>"eh, just some wannabe monster slayer causing trouble."
>wife lets out a giggle as we go back to watching the movie

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831886
>>46830910
>Chesh + manti = maledom
Appealing to the frog, are you?

[Anonymous No.]

A nura and a flayer walk into a man's home.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831975
Why wouldn't a man's two wives walk into his home. It's their house too.

[Anonymous No.]

>He doesn't know

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832185
K-know what?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832185
I am not a clever man.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832185
Despite making up less than 0.5% of the encyclopedia, hellhounds...

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832239
>"monsters like to rape!" is a stereotype perpetuated mostly by hellhounds
>if you go out onto the street and ask a girl what her preferred form of "first intimate meeting" is, most will start rambling on about their dream date night.

[Anonymous No.]

I will find the biggest, baddest hellwan and shove my face into her boobs

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832239
Its actually closer to 0.44%

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832260
Don't forget to bring a stepladder.

[Anonymous No.]

>Throws you in the air
>"It's raping time!"
>rapes you

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832285
Dogs can't rape you as long as you are headpatting them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832285
Damn that's crazy, let me pull out my rolled up newspaper.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832285
>>Throws you in the air
Just what a large harpy was waiting for.

[Anonymous No.]

High Orc meat

[Anonymous No.]

Hellhound can do more than rape.
She can also love, and cherish, and cuddle, and snuggle, and rape, and pamper, and dote, and compliment, and break bed frames, and be there when you really need her.

[Anonymous No.]

>You look a little soft for an adventurer. You sure you want to take on a dragon?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831320
>futa
I'll accept barbs on the inside of her pussy but no more.

[Anonymous No.]

You keep laughing at Vampires online and not irl because you know the moment you ever walk outside at night and happen to be all alone, you won't see it coming when a Vampire savagely tackles you down from behind and bites into your neck like a rabid animal and sinks all her teeth into your flesh. You're SECRETLY AFRAID of them, it's true.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832472
Yes, I'm afraid of rabid animals, which is what vampires are.

[Anonymous No.]

I like vampires and dhampirs because they are both probably very musky and smelly.
Vampires are allergic to water, and dhampirs spend all their time running across rooftops and being vigilantes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832472
Vampires are weak to
>Garlic
>Running water
>Crosses
>Mating press
>Silver
>Sunlight
>Impregnation
>Fire
>Stakes
>Holy water
How does anybody take vamps seriously?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832519
I certainly have a "stake" I would drive into her
hehehehehehe
hohhoohohohoho

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832508
>Vampires are allergic to water
Only running water, but it still makes baths a hassle for them, so vampires smell anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832519
You wouldn't mating press a Vampire, she'd rape you. Why do mere humans pretend they're able to overpower the rulers of the night?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832519
>Hear vampires are weak to stakes
>Start grilling up some steaks because I guess they are afraid of rare meat
>End up raped by a hellhound attracted by the sounds and smells of good ol' fashioned meat
>now married to hound, and in a technicality, safe from vampires.

[Anonymous No.]

It's another round of
>monster girls are actually socially inept like me frfr
Is that the only thing you guys can post?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832540
>You wouldn't mating press a Vampire
I read that in the "you wouldn't pirate a car" voice. But even without the aid of garlic or sunlight I feel like I could through sheer will and retard strength alone

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832551
You gonna contribute something or just whine?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832540
>Why do mere humans pretend they're able to overpower the rulers of the night?

[Anonymous No.]

Listen you fucking humans, you are no match for us. There is a reason we are the "predators" and you are our "prey". We EAT YOU. We eat YOUR blood. Know your fucking place.

[Anonymous No.]

It's Morbin' time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832568
what do vampires think of their fathers?

[Anonymous No.]

Listen you fucking bloodsuckers, you are no match for us. There is a reason you hide in the shadows of OUR societies, survive by feeding in seclusion on us, you'd get hunted to extinction. We HUNT YOU. We drive stakes into your kind. Know your fucking place.

[Anonymous No.]

Never ask a vampire supremist the species of her oldest daughter

[Anonymous No.]

I want to huff a vampires boot

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832519
And I'm weak to vampires so I don't understand what your point is.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832586
Don't make me post THAT Flan infographic

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832593
Well, at least you only have one stupid weakness.

[Anonymous No.]

Meanwhile the Werewolves, planning their attacks smugly in peace while foolish Humans and Vampires quarrel with each other....

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832607
Just throw a stick and yell fetch.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832584
>daughter(s)
Ftfy

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832493
that's unfair because the feral vamps are way cuter than those 'noble' vampires

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832607
Imagine the unstoppable werewolf from Vtmb but in mamano form

[Anonymous No.]

Walking up to a vampire and saying that I was team Edward

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832551
Could anons handle outgoing happy positive monster girls.
Wouldn't you rather a friend as morbid as you but with a vagina?

[Anonymous No.]

Stop responding to vampire boasting. They get off on reading what you'll do to them

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832637
Alice Cullen was a cute patootie in those movies. Need golden eyed tomboy vampire gf now

[Anonymous No.]

Sorry Vampire-san, these bones are for monster girls with black sclera only.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832419
>Keep doing that thing with your legs, I'll harden up in a second.

[Anonymous No.]

vampires can't follow you onto sacred grounds
get some sanctuary today

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832669
Okay, sign the contract retard.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832645
>Could anons handle outgoing happy positive monster girls.
A younger girl with energy to spare is the best. Anons are recommended to seek out Momonika sabbath members or other true lolis.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832706
Of course my Queen.

[Anonymous No.]

You won't be so smug when you run into the Order aligned (but not officially sanctioned) Sabbath, heretic.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Bonus points if she has shark teeth.

[Anonymous No.]

Which monsters are the weakest to kissing

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832786
oomukade

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832786
Me (man is the real monster)

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832786
Dragons.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832744
This is just an elaborate way for that bapho to grift people for free candy and sweets, isn't it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832801
Big horns.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832786
Me (alp) to my futa wife

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832811
I'm not sure if that is KC approved.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832815
It's approved in my heart

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832803
Or her edgy phase.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832706
Should I...
>Sign immediately and without reading
>Skim it, then sign
>Carefully read and ask clarifying questions, then sign
>Carefully read, haggle the terms, then sign
>Reject her contract, present my own, and try to make her sign

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832868
eat the parchment to assert dominance

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832868
Look confusedly over the paper a few times and admit to her, quietly, that you don't know how to read

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832873
the oldest trick in the book.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831073
a few milliseconds between when she sees you and when she sexes you

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832902
Little known fact: despite their flightlessness and soft forms, jubjubs are incredibly fast monsters. When aroused (always) there known to reach speeds of up to

[Anonymous No.]

>Walk into Rape Anonymous
>See Ushi, core, hound, ogre, fox all sitting in a circle talking about their feelings
>Immediately make and then break eye contact with all of them
>Gulp as loud as I can and then turn around and walk away while wiggling my ass

[Anonymous No.]

I'm going to find a non monsterized elf and I'm going to absolutely destroy her asshole until she likes it, at which point I will tell her that I'll be able to make getting buttfucked feel even better for her if she monsterizes.
Then I'll exclusively have vaginal sex with her until she snaps and rapes me with her ass.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832908
>flightlessness
just because you never see one fly doesnt mean they never do, the wings provide more than enough lift to remain airborne until they find a mate

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832910
>Rape anonymous
Bit on the nose?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832936
Maybe, but you would be surprised how often it works.

[Anonymous No.]

Did you know ushi-oni regeneration is so strong that she can regrow her hymen meaning every time you fuck and ushi she’s virgin tight

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832921
>They can totally fly whenever they want, they just don't want to
Uh-huh. Just like I can stop fluffing these tails whenever I please, right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832985
I think you're the first person I've ever seen in this thread bring up ushis regeneration thing outside of HFY situations.
Impressive.
I will not fuck my perpetual-virgin ushi wife just for that

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832985
>wanting bloody sex every day
You do you, but that ain't for me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46833047
Indeed. It's only good if its mine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46832786
Unironically Oomukade and Beelzebub.

[Anonymous No.]

>>46831961
>implying getting drugged into fucking a monster girl pregnant is maledom

[Anonymous No.]

I fox

[Anonymous No.]

>>46833146
Reminds me of snake.