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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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9949406 No.9949406 [Reply] [Original]

If you could get married to a touhou, would you? But they'd have to live in this world and couldn't take you back to gensokyo.

>> No.9949410

No. Why would I subject my favourite touhou to such pain and misery just for my own personal gain?

>> No.9949412

I'd have to be in a very good position emotionally, and possibly financially to a degree, to do that so that I know I would be able to support her.

>> No.9949415

But she loves you and wants to be with you.

>> No.9949417

She wouldn't last. There are too many bullies in this world.

>> No.9949421

Pretty sure bullying a touhou would result in a swift death for the bully

>> No.9949428

Does she still get to keep her powers?

>> No.9949432

OP here, I never said they lost their powers.

>> No.9949433

Yes, as long as she is happy too.

>> No.9949435

Ah, sorry. That's usually the deal. I probably would then.

>> No.9949444

Are you serious? We can become gods on Earth then, rule the world, make an utopia.

It's a win-win situation. Some touhous are so powerful no modern weapon or even nuclear arsenal can stop them.

>> No.9949448

What happens when she learns you primarily speak the tongue of the white pig?

>> No.9949450
File: 146 KB, 900x1100, 1324832975897.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My first reaction to your picture was "I'd marry Mokou in a second." Then I got to thinking, what happens when she watches me age and die? Would she be forever trapped here, unable to return home and widowed? That seems pretty cruel.

>> No.9949453

That shouldn't get in the way for true love.

>> No.9949456

If I married Yukari I could go around to the homes of all the people who bullied me when I was younger and have her gap their penises into their own anuses!

>> No.9949461
File: 93 KB, 1024x770, wpid1744-FlagEagleBIG.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'll teach her to speak American

>> No.9949464
File: 662 KB, 905x1280, 73.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Suwako and I would rule the world with an iron fist.

>> No.9949468

Only /jp/...

>> No.9949478

Eat her liver (with some fava beans and a nice chianti) and you'll be able to live forever as well.

>> No.9949543


I civilise her and teach her to speak the Queen's English.

>> No.9949677

Maybe. But it will have to be someone with enough magical knowledge to be able to actively work towards getting back in and taking me with her. Fuck the rules, we'll break them with magic.

>> No.9949686

If you marry her you must also marry the hat. She will never remove her hat ever. Even during sex you will be staring right into its eyes.

>> No.9949898

Do you want to be added to the list?

>> No.9949908

No. Why would I want to marry a 2d character?

>> No.9949909
File: 251 KB, 578x800, 1322454287624.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Can I fuck the hat too, then?
Can I impregnate the hat?

>> No.9949911

Yes. Thank you.

>> No.9949920

No. It just sits there staring and silently judging you.

>> No.9950316

So you can make 4D kids.

>> No.9950322 [DELETED] 

This is getting old. How about a thread to actually discuss marriage with Touhous? Nope, instead we get morons spamming with shit like this. THIS is why this board fucking sucks cocks.

>> No.9950333

Relax, it was a shitty subject to begin with.

>> No.9950375
File: 517 KB, 1274x1800, 1132bcdce8eadd9695daf10ee7758ce9ce5f71eb.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

We'd make some anti nigger jew muslim bio weapon and cleanse the world.

>> No.9950381

What would you do if she converted to Islam the second she heard of it?

>> No.9950389

I'm 1/8 jew. Would I die as well? ;_;

>> No.9950396

Only 1/8th of you.

>> No.9950398
File: 192 KB, 400x500, marisa35.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

i dont believe in marriage

but i do think touhou is wedding dress look cute

>> No.9950405
File: 37 KB, 350x300, Jeb_Bush.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

This is you in her basement after 15 minutes.

No one will ever find out, she's a smart girl.

>> No.9950402

I think it's horrible and makes them look more generic.

>> No.9950416

I've studied biochemistry, physiology and anatomy.

>> No.9950430
File: 23 KB, 350x300, Jeb_Bush2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

And again, this is you in her basement, with your degree hanging in the wall, after 15 minutes.

No one will ever find out, she's a smart girl.

>> No.9950456

I would marry Eirin for the chance at immortality.

Then we could start our very own Eientei!

I think that Udonge and the princess would follow soon after.

>> No.9950457
File: 200 KB, 392x411, butthurtabe.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You seem upset.

>> No.9950463

That and Eirin is my second favourite. She's pretty cool.

>> No.9950537
File: 886 KB, 1200x1400, 1348703945923.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I would treat her like a princess.

Now, getting Yukari to go along with it? That'd be another thing entirely.

>> No.9950557

What a lovely picture.

>> No.9950574

Why would she love me? I don't deserve to be loved

>> No.9950577

I love you

>> No.9950588

Prove it.

>> No.9950591

I like where this is going.

>> No.9950608

I am willing to give my body to you.

>> No.9950610
File: 45 KB, 473x378, hairanda.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

whichever would help me escape mortality

>> No.9950613

Are you cute?

>> No.9950619

I'm not sure, I think so.

>> No.9950624


>> No.9950647

>fantasizing about getting into legal contract with beings that bleed from their crotches at regular intervals


>> No.9950655

But these are touhous so it's okay.

>> No.9950670

I'll bring Yukari. Extend my life by messing with the boundary of life and death, mess with the boundary of reality and fiction to bring every other touhou into our world and leave Reimu behind because no one wants a repeat of the Hakurei barrier.

>> No.9950700
File: 766 KB, 1400x1980, 1320196265300.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Seeing you talk like that so seriously of her reminds me of a monkey playing with a shotgun.

>> No.9950729

No Gensokyo, no deal.

>> No.9950780


>> No.9950795

Well if I'm marrying then I'm going to have to pick smart. Something like this can't be done out of love and I'm going to have to pick the one with the most to offer me. I'm going to have to pick one with a power that will allow me to live a lazy life of relative comfort in the middle of some forest.

Who is most suited to give me such a life?

>> No.9950812

Holy fuck, at the last part when he was lifting the gun above his head I was in tears already.

>> No.9950803


>> No.9950810


>> No.9950816

Won't she stop existing without a bunch of people believing in her though? I don't think she can live on the faith of a bunch of woodland critters.

>> No.9950849
File: 299 KB, 575x650, 8a3ca7c022f9a1719db8f7ffb5ee0a32.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'd get married to Cirino because we'd have a pretty COOL life together!!!

>> No.9950881


>> No.9950894

Don't you mean nICE?

>> No.9950930

According that one video, I would be shooting everyone else with the shotgun.

>> No.9950935

nice one, you're on a roll

>> No.9951009

This side is much better than gensokyo. Open your eyes. She'll be entertained for at least 500 years with just what we have now. And the world is ever-changing.

>> No.9951034

Mokou could rule the world and make it a better place.

>> No.9951038
File: 78 KB, 400x236, n4e87c1d1724ec.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Then go for it, anonymous, follow your dreams.

>> No.9951064

marriage requires consent

>> No.9951102

When our waifus already love us, that's all the consent we need.

>> No.9951116

You are now my waifu.

>> No.9951144
File: 185 KB, 752x1039, 9de993a28370f311be800651fecbf65f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I don't think Yuuka really cares very much about the rest of Gensokyo. She seems like the type of person who'd be content with staring at flowers and creeping out the neighbours all day.

>> No.9951152
File: 79 KB, 560x419, Fuck you.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>creeping out the neighbours all day.
She doesn't seems to be the kind of person who needs to creep anyone, picture related.

>> No.9951164

you seem quite sure of that

>> No.9951170

It'd be nice to walk around with Yuuka seeing her use her powers to make flowers bloom around the empty areas of the streets.

>> No.9951183

Would you marry one out of love or usefulness?

>> No.9951190

It'd START with simple things, like people slowly realizing her flowers are out of season.

>> No.9951194

Why not both?

>> No.9951197

Love, of course.

>> No.9951210
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>> No.9951231

new to /jp/. what is touhou?

>> No.9951237

It would work is you happened to like someone with good powers.

>> No.9951244


Yuuka is packing heat

>> No.9951241
File: 1.52 MB, 1280x1024, 1349677271153.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'd take loli alice.

>> No.9951246

Don't me master spark whip you bitch

>> No.9951251

seriously can someone please tell me what touhou is?

>> No.9951252

Kill yourself out of /jp/.

>> No.9951255

It is the symbol that Satan has burnt out on my forehead!

>> No.9951256

It's a an anime about cute girls doing cute things.

>> No.9951257

The symbol that Satan has burnt out on my forehead!

>> No.9951261
File: 463 KB, 1000x1520, yukari wedding.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Not even Yukari?

>> No.9951278
File: 230 KB, 473x688, 1343123423277.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


true love never dies

>> No.9952503

Why do so many people want to change the world? This would very difficult and tiring for your touhou. Think of how many normals she would have to deal with and how little time she would have.

I would want a nice and quiet life of taking it easy. She would only need to use her powers to defend us from bullies and keep us alive.

>> No.9952539 [DELETED] 

Exactly. As long as she can bears, cougars, and wolves, we'll be just fine living in the woods somewhere.

>> No.9952575

Exactly. As long as she can kill bears, cougars, and wolves, we'll be just fine living in the woods somewhere.

>> No.9952631

I don't know about the woods. There is a whole world to explore! She also might want to have some friends; people do get bored of each other if they spend too much together.

>> No.9952795

And we can explore the world too. But it will be on foot and we aren't going anywhere south of the equator because fuck those places. Way too hot.

>> No.9952974

>There is a whole world to explore! She also might want to have some friends; people do get bored of each other if they spend too much together.
When you put it like that I think I would rather marry parsee

she wouldnt try to make other friends that she could get connected to and she wouldnt care about me not having friends

>> No.9953040

>I don't think Yuuka really cares very much about the rest of Gensokyo. She seems like the type of person who'd be content with staring at flowers and creeping out the neighbours all day.

If by "creeping out the neighbors" you mean committing genocide out of boredom. Wouldn't it be awkward to be married to a modern-day Hitler?

>> No.9953074

i would marry alice and then abuse her by hitting her in the head with a shovel for every post in this thread

>> No.9953078

>I'd get married to Cirino because we'd have a pretty COOL life together!!!

You're joking, but a woman who was also a portable air conditioning unit would be my idea of a perfect human being.

>> No.9953124

I'd like that too but I'd like someone with enough of an adventurous spirit to travel the world with.

Who is antisocial enough to not need friends but adventurous enough to not just hang out under a bridge all day?

>> No.9953152

>Wouldn't it be awkward to be married to a modern-day Hitler?

Not at all! Everyone dies sooner or later and dead people don't mind being dead. She should be able to do whatever makes her happy.

Wouldn't you sacrifice half of the world if it meant having a touhou by your side?

>> No.9953158

stop making rumours about yuuka please she's a nice girl who doesn't want to hurt anybody

>> No.9953202

What would you do if she wanted to have children?

If she were to give birth to a male offspring, would he be a boy touhou?

>> No.9953219

>What would you do if she wanted to have children?

Put my penis in her vagina.

>> No.9953229

that isnt how u get girls pregnant bro

>> No.9953276

I think you're sterile, friend.

>> No.9953289


I'll agree to have kids but in exchange she has to let me fuck her while she's pregnant, too.

>> No.9953314

Simply say no. What's she going to do, make me impregnate her?

>> No.9953337
File: 331 KB, 984x1200, 1349371944792.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>What's she going to do, make me impregnate her?

>> No.9953379

Yes. But I'd get scared she'd want to leave me so I'd drug her drinks until she couldn't fight back, then dissect her so that I may devour her organs and absorb the power of her flesh.
I'd make a scalp wig and sow it onto a daki of her though.

>> No.9953388

Easy, don't marry Yukari or anyone else that can teleport jizz into their vagina.

>> No.9953439

Well if I married a character like Yukari or one of the other very powerful touhous, I would be fine with children because I most likely wouldn't have to support them (I doubt Yukari would have any trouble getting loads of money) so I could just try to raise them and love her

>> No.9953448

This is true. I too would marry Yukari since she has the most useful power for never having to work. With her gaps we can live in a fancy house in the middle of nowhere and she can gap around to steal food and anything else we might need.

Does she come with her servants or do they not count as part of her power?

>> No.9953453

I don't think you have it in you to kill a Touhou.

>> No.9953458

>I doubt Yukari would have any trouble getting loads of money

Considering she could steal anything she wanted with minimal effort.

>> No.9953472
File: 599 KB, 1000x1100, 19c0791f161e7cd6da2dc53e2bb7123f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

If she wanted to stay here to marry me, then yes, definitely. I don't want to force her to, though.

>> No.9953479

Would you marry your favorite or another that would make a better wife?

>> No.9954943
File: 1.14 MB, 1100x1400, 1350685692161.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


My favorite IS the ultimate wife.

>> No.9954966

Is it my computer or the roses were really badly pasted?

>> No.9955010

If ran was really the utimate wife she'd let you do lewd things with chen.

>> No.9957045


But I don't want to do lewd things with Chen. I'd raise her with Ran and I'd probably spoil her rotten.

>> No.9960698
File: 279 KB, 650x800, af56ba881907ab7d07a222b92f15f569[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Would marry her in a a second. She has everything needed - class, style, she is polite, is mature and has strength.
I would make love to her every day and raise our daughters with all of my love.

>> No.9960720
File: 91 KB, 652x850, 1339806164040.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I would treat my wonderful Momiji nicely.

>> No.9960728

You've got competition.

>> No.9960744

What if you had all sons?

>> No.9960752
File: 402 KB, 800x699, 1323715793430.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'd marry Nitori because she would probably like all my computers and gadgets and we could have fun building things together.

And she'd be the breadwinner being an engineer so I could sleep all day

>> No.9960751

Raise them as daughters.

>> No.9960760

I don't think Yuuka would approve of that.

>> No.9960772

nope, you missed it. There will be no sons - they are a rare occurence with yokai half-bloods. And all yokai are females, they they need men if they want offspring. This is my fantasy.

>> No.9960787

Not to ruin your fantasy, but one of the only half youkais in Touhou is also the only prominent male character, Rinnosuke.

But you can believe whatever you want in the Gensokyo in your heart.

>> No.9960819

I remember him. And he is the only one. Like, really rare. He simply is known to us, but that doesn't make his bastard breed any more promenient.

>> No.9960825


Posting in this thread because I love you, Alice!

>> No.9960844
File: 214 KB, 850x850, 2hu43.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

white marisa look slike a bride

>> No.9960883

Good of her to admit her non-virgin status

>> No.9960937
File: 1.43 MB, 1243x1420, tenshi wedding dress 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I really woudn't want to bring her to this world but if she insists I don't think I could say no even if its for her own good...

>> No.9961183

I'd hit her with a shovel instead of giving her a ring.

>> No.9961370

enjoy your cancer

>> No.9961373

Joke's on you, he already has cancer.

>> No.9961391
File: 77 KB, 255x285, ReisenSWR.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.9961414


>> No.9961436

i like her

>> No.9961441

Prove it.

>> No.9961447

no you prove i dont

>> No.9961456

My proof is that you are unable to come up with anything so you ask me to prove stuff instead.

>> No.9961480

whatever i know im right

>> No.9961494

How do you know you're right?