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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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9847010 No.9847010 [Reply] [Original]

>28th birthday
>family throws me childish party with banners and cake
>only one present
>set of keys
>"awesome, a new car. Thanks Mom" (because I know my douche bag step-dad wouldn't buy me something so nice)
>they tell me it's for my new apartment which they have paid 12 months rent and utilities
>after 12 months I'll have to get a job and pay for it because I can't live at home any more
>flip out and run around the house headbutting and kicking holes in the wall
>stepfather chases me upstairs
>I lock myself in the guest bedroom and break everything I see
>Mom crying hysterically and says I can stay as long as I want
>they're out now buying me real birthday presents

>> No.9847014

Sounds like shitty parents to me

>> No.9847017

fuck, I never get a banner. These days not even a cake, because my parent's new religion doesn't celebrate birthdays.
You're lucky~

>> No.9847019
File: 19 KB, 201x315, 018-wakewakanneh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847019

>> No.9847024

Funny shit right here.

>> No.9847025

If this is true then I sincerely hope you get cancer and die a horrible death. The world is better off without you.

>> No.9847031
File: 134 KB, 969x390, 0009f323ec5e88473075306f0d697d1c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847031

that made me pretty sad
I wouldn't want to trouble my parents

>> No.9847028

who are you quoing?

>> No.9847029

>confusing car keys with house keys

>> No.9847036

How do you make your words green?

>> No.9847040

I would fucking love to get that as a gift. When I was 21 I used all my 5k inheritance plus my own savings to get an apartment of my own. I paid for 6 months in advance. At the time I didn't have enough money to pay the rent, but I started flipping burgers. Then I quit my job and now I'm at home again. I miss the independence.

>> No.9847043

You can pay 12 months rent and utilities at once?

>> No.9847044

Holy shit I can only imagine a fat autistic neckbeard guy running around breaking shit.

Holy

Shit.

>> No.9847038
File: 508 KB, 1000x1000, 1345324347014.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847038

Terrible family thread? This is literally the only time anybody from my family has said anything about me watching anime.

>watching Haruhi
>that episode where they're on the boat
>aunt is staying with us because her husband cheated on her
>my computer isn't working so I'm watching it in the den/whatever room
>aunt walks in to get something, notices the girls in bikinis and shit
>starts asking me really pretentious questions like "why do you prefer fake girls, anon? is it really that bad?"
>she tells me that nobody is ever going to want to associate with me because of it and that cartoons can't love you back
>"At least cartoons can't cheat on you."
>she's like "what?" and I just said "You shouldn't even be here."
>she leaves mad as fuck

Apparently she was crying after that. Rude bitch.

>> No.9847039

>>9847036
You use the meme arrows

>> No.9847049

Keep up the good work anon,
few people realize it can be hard to leech of your parents.
I'm glad your fruits bore success.

>> No.9847047

>>9847038

hahaha

Well done, anonymous.

>> No.9847048
File: 125 KB, 838x983, 1341027732034.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847048

>> No.9847054
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9847054

I asked my mother for a video game for Christmas, but when Christmas came she did not buy it for me. I was filled with such rage that I knocked the Christmas tree over, that should show her.

>> No.9847055

>>9847010

The thing that's great about this is that it's so plausible. I can picture it so easily.

>> No.9847058

>>9847038
#epic

>> No.9847057

>>9847048
I wish I had parents that good. Mine make me pay rent and buy my own food.

>> No.9847063

>>9847054
That's too cute.

>> No.9847060

muh hedonism

>> No.9847065

>>9847010
Holy shit, that's sounds exactly like my 22nd birthday. Except it was a 2 month rent only, and I just accepted it and didn't act like a retarded child with downs afterwards.

>> No.9847070

>>9847055
I don't think it's plausible at all. It's very expensive to pay for an apartment like that and then just drop the whole thing, especially if they're on contract. And how can they write their son's name on the tenancy agreement for him? Or use their own names when he's the one staying? That would be illegal. Maybe if the apartment was owned by a relative and there was some kind of informal agreement? I don't know. You'd think that if the parents were at the point of paying this much to kick him out, it's not something they would be able to go back on because he threw a tantrum.

>> No.9847071

>$150 weekly allowance.

My mom used to give me $30.

>> No.9847075

>>9847048
I fucking hate these, goddamn.

They always twist it around and make saints out of the people the character is angry about.

>> No.9847079

>>9847070
>Or use their own names when he's the one staying? That would be illegal.
what

>> No.9847081

This is the greatest story ever told.

>> No.9847088

>>9847079
I wouldn't be surprised if it is in america.

>> No.9847090

I wish I could get a free apartment for a year

I'd turn it into my lair and even if I have to get a minimum wage job to support myself I'd have my own lair that I could fill with piss bottles and posters

>> No.9847099

>>9847090
Landlords tend to dislike piss bottles all over their apartment when they come to inspect it.

>> No.9847100

>>9847090
Wouldn't it feel weird to live in a place that's not really yours?

I would feel paranoid about breaking it and shit.

>> No.9847103

>>9847090
I don't get why you wouldn't take a free apartment for a year.

You could just live their and shit the place up and then at the end of the year say you tried your hardest to find a job but couldn't do it

>> No.9847104

>>9847099
>when they come to inspect it
they do that in america?

>> No.9847108
File: 70 KB, 838x983, frine day isnt.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847108

>>9847075
not always

>> No.9847114

Happy birthday my man. Keep that NEET life going as long as you can, however you can. You're a real inspiration.

>> No.9847118

>>9847100
When I was 18 I was given a brand new car, I drive it like I stole it.

>> No.9847122
File: 68 KB, 647x598, Yui_fgn.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847122

I got offered an apprenticeship a while ago, but I won't be able to start until the apprenticeship office is able to find somewhere to employ me first.

3 months down the line and still nothing, the money I saved up has run out and my parents demand I go on Jobseeker's allowance because the apprenticeship office 'will get back to you'.

And then as if on cue, the apprenticeship office fucking phoned me earlier today about a possible position.

Still have to go to the job centre though.

I just want to take it easy.

>> No.9847123
File: 22 KB, 233x240, me_gusta_mucho_by_megustamuchoplz-d416uqk.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847123

>Sitting on /jp/
>"Morecambe! Morecambe!"
>"What the fuck do you want, mom?"
>"We need to buy some medicine for your grandma, so we won't be able to buy you an aneemay doll this month, okay?"
>"...what the fuck did you just say?"
>"Morecambe, I..."
>"YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM."
>"Moreca-"
>"I HOPE YOU DIE."
>"Son, plea-"
>"I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF."
>She bursts into treats
>"Okay Morecambe...we'll buy you a mango doll..."
My face when.

>> No.9847127
File: 43 KB, 500x625, High-Five.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847127

>>9847123
always nice to see bitch moms getting owned

>> No.9847129
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9847129

>>9847104

No, but even if we did, it would still be better than Australians having to put up with penis inspections.

>> No.9847133

>>9847122
My Employment and Support Allowance just got cancelled, so it seems I'll have to sign on for the dole.

I tried before, but I couldn't handle going in. The job centre is a scary place, I can't take it easy there.

>> No.9847134
File: 42 KB, 680x509, d36.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847134

>>9847123

>> No.9847135

I don't ask for anything ever and sit alone in my room. You people are very greedy and rude.

>> No.9847141

>>9847129
inspect this

*whips out dick*

>> No.9847153

>>9847135
The stories aren't real, the are just crossboard impressions of what /jp/ posters are like.

>> No.9847157
File: 446 KB, 807x719, 1348376044971.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847157

>Mom comes home
>Didn't buy the tooth paste I want
>Scream at her
>Tell her to fuck off
>She runs back to the store and buys some
>Walk upstairs with the tube and don't even say thank you.

>> No.9847159
File: 17 KB, 421x399, YuiBor.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847159

>>9847122
Whoops, meant to say
> the apprenticeship office 'won't get back to you'.

>>9847133
I've been on Jobseekers Allowance before, but I just filled it up with fake entries hoping they wouldn't check it.

Thankfully, they never did for the 8 months I was on it. Don't think I'll try it again though.

>> No.9847160

>>9847141
uncut, enjoy your disgusting dick cheese
very small, your waifu wouldn't even touch it
penis status: 3/10
I wouldn't suck it at all.

>> No.9847163

who diogenes here?

>> No.9847169
File: 196 KB, 512x512, sanae.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847169

>>9847160
>uncut, enjoy your disgusting dick cheese
is this guy serious

>> No.9847174

>>9847010
I know that story is fake, but I still felt physical pain when reading that.

>> No.9847177

>>9847169
What are Sanae's ten desires?

>> No.9847182

>>9847174
Why? I'd probably do the same in his situation.

>> No.9847188
File: 81 KB, 275x277, D22.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847188

>>9847141

>> No.9847198

>>9847160
>not taking a wash every day

do you even try?

>> No.9847196

>>9847010
welcome back yrann

>> No.9847199

>>9847198
Why would you want to ruin the smegma buildup?

>> No.9847201

Washing everyday?
What the fuck, normals please leave.

>> No.9847204

>>9847038
http://archive.foolz.us/jp/thread/9601071
I knew this was familiar.

>> No.9847202

>>9847123
who are you quoting?

>> No.9847209

>>9847204
they're all reposts, sherlock

>> No.9847219
File: 59 KB, 399x510, 1231165131231.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847219

>>9847198
>>9847169
>Being proud of his disgusting dick hoodie that accumulates cheese anyway

>> No.9847233

>>9847219
You tell em', goyim!

>> No.9847234

I'm 24 and I just put down a deposit on an apartment lease which I'm paying for with the money I earn at my job.

I'll get to leave my pornography out and everything, suck it losers.

>> No.9847231

>>9847219
who are you quoting?

>> No.9847232
File: 265 KB, 944x628, Untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847232

>>9847219
Someone is jealous

>> No.9847240

>>9847235
mugen pls go

>> No.9847235
File: 72 KB, 1280x720, Ju-yo-ohsi.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847235

>>9847010
That is so sad.Don't you feel selfish and terrible to put your mother and your sep-father?Will you be a child forever anon?I sound harsh, but what will you do?You ruined their good walls....You don't have a Job....Now they both will have to put in money, that they don't have, to fix the holes....Now your step-father will hate you even more....Just when he thought that the apartment would make you truly happy by taking a step towards manhood and adult life....He obviously does care about you to do such a thing for you.....I have done some awful things to my parents, but this is not good anon....If I was your parents I would be so angry and then my anger would turn to sadness...Sadness from my son/step-son not realizing how much I(we) cared for him....Sadness that he would hurt me(us) by destroying the house in his misunderstood frustration......Sadness that he didn't realize his full potential and that life was waiting for him.....Sadness that we couldn't relate to him in the end.Now they will either keep you and slowly their sorrow will turn into resentment and frustrating annoyance....Your mother will be forced to tend to your out grown needs in anxiety and fear.Your stepfather will get more angry and hostile toward your mother for keeping your around, thus eventually ruining their marriage.Maybe he'll leave her too. Then she will be the only one working until the day she dies taking care of you. In the end she couldn't leave you any money and you will die lonely with no one

>> No.9847243

>>9847235
Part 2
Or in the end send you to some kind of reform/special help place for low-life kids or crazies.They might be talking to someone at a hospital to see what they can do to get you into a ward in the middle of the night sometime.It wouldn't be the first time these kinds of things. I've seen it happen.Cannot you give your mother the chance at happiness with the Person she loves?Call them no matter what. Cry and let it out. Cry to both of them. Tell them you don't know how your life got to this point, but you want to be better, you want to be a better man, and that you will move to their apartment, eventually getting a job you can enjoy

>> No.9847252

>>9847240
Not mugen

>> No.9847254

>>9847250
Nice try but we all know biribiri can only be satisfied by large uncut phimosis dicks.

>> No.9847255

circumcised AND PROUD. enjoy having to wash yourselves, normalcocks.

>>9847219

who are you quoting my mutilated cock brethren?

>> No.9847250
File: 304 KB, 526x524, 1348020438641.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847250

>>9847231
>>9847232
>>9847233
Look at dat mad
Enjoy being a dirty dick hoodie boy while I have a clean slate that my waifu would adore~!

>> No.9847251

>>9847234
I leave mine out as well, who gives a shit?
If your parents have the gall to bring it up, then they should be able to stomach to live with it.

>> No.9847262

>>9847231
>>9847255
You guys are hilarious.

Look at the thread you're in.

>> No.9847261

>>9847040
5grand as an inheritance? Are you joking?

>> No.9847270

>>9847261
not everyone's grandma is a millionnaire

>> No.9847290

I've got a foreskin almost as long as half my dick (which isn't big, unless 8cm is sudddenly considered a great measure), when i peel it back and try to touch my benis, it hurts (still can fap tho), i need to clean dickcheese all the time and there's this weird pimple at the base of it.

BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT CIRCUMSIZED

SUCK IT JEWFAGS

>> No.9847287
File: 50 KB, 208x186, 1328330230594.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847287

>>9847270
I understand that but 5k is not something that can be called an inheritance, that's allowance.

>> No.9847293

>>9847287
you best be joking nigger

>> No.9847294

>>9847235
>>9847243

/jp/ is too scared to leave the bedroom to take a piss in the bathroom, let alone get a job.

>> No.9847302

It's sad that you guys who are cut will never know the joy of storing things in your foreskin

>> No.9847303

>>9847294
I could totally take a piss in the bathroom. I just choose the more convenient and less sociable option. Why even normalfags don't opt for that is beyond me.

>> No.9847308
File: 14 KB, 231x231, 1342812925356.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847308

>>9847290

i will never suck a uncut /jp/sie cock because of this post

>> No.9847314

>>9847290
I have an 8inch circumcised dick that I can mess with and it not hurt, I could leave my body unbathed for months at a time and not get dickcheese and my dick doesn't have any unhealthy growths coming out of it

Suck my cock dude

>> No.9847316
File: 21 KB, 320x210, mishima+steps.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847316

>>9847294
I know, but men must become men at some point, unless they plan on dying alone with everyone around them dead gone and lonely

>> No.9847327

>>9847302

Why would anyone need to do that?

>> No.9847330

>>9847293
You best be joking.

>> No.9847340

>>9847327
It's like how women keep coins in their bra for safe keeping and quick access.

>> No.9847343

>>9847340
>women keep coins in their bra
fucking disgusting

>> No.9847348

>>9847340

whatta fuck man

>> No.9847369

>>9847340
>2012
>being a woman
for what purpose

>> No.9847372
File: 77 KB, 425x585, disabilitysan2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847372

>>9847316

>> No.9847374

I had to google 'allowance'. I feel really poor now.

>> No.9847378

>>9847340
I-I actually do this... but with paper money most of the time.

>> No.9847391

>>9847378
Btw I'm a gorgonzola

>> No.9847388

>>9847369
Who are you quoting?

>> No.9847396

>>9847378
now, that would be disgusting

>> No.9847418
File: 289 KB, 800x711, 1349727756572.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847418

>>9847372

>> No.9847420

>>9847374
Oh wow, what a poor piece of shit. I bet you live in a trailer you worthless faggot.

>> No.9847430

>>9847396
It's just for safety anon! When I pull it out I make sure no one is watching, too.

>> No.9847442
File: 227 KB, 775x720, 1349652827423.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847442

>>9847010
this will happen 2 every1 here

>> No.9847450

>>9847442

yes

>> No.9847456

>>9847453
start sucking dick

when parents ask you to stop doing that tell them hat you don't want to work

>> No.9847453

>>9847442
how do we stop it

>> No.9847455

>>9847442
cute post

>> No.9847472
File: 111 KB, 453x599, 1299923114680.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847472

>>9847010

>had a tantrum, destroyed property
>got your way, rewarded for it

Your parents only have themselves to blame for your leeching NEET ways. Utter failures at parenting.

>> No.9847488

>>9847456
is there an alternative

>> No.9847500

>>9847488
No. I advise you start stocking up on mouthwash. Make sure it's the stuff that actually has alcohol in it. The other stuff is shitty.

>> No.9847505

Why wouldn't you want a free house for 12 months....?

I must not be NEET enough to understand but if your parents let you do whatever like it seems you could probably just walk back in after your time is up.

>> No.9847507

>/jp/ - your blog

>> No.9847508

Wow OP, your so lucky to get a banner! All I get is cash money and Ice 'round my neck, aye, ayeaye, uh, yeeeeaaah. Uh. Yeah.

>> No.9847522

What the fuck, I would love to have my own home completely paid for for 12 months.

>> No.9847530

>>9847522

Yeah and you could move back in with your parents at the end of the 12 months anyway.

>> No.9847539
File: 2.75 MB, 375x188, 1349489832118.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847539

>>9847522

>> No.9847550

How are these parents terrible? Money isn't just paper, and plastic. Money has to be earn and people have spend hark hours earning their money, especially those working slave jobs. When someone buys you something and you think that it's "just money" you're being ignorant.

You guys act like you're entitled to leech of others hark work, people buying you things like a years worth of rent is for your own good, stop being a brat throwing a tantrum for not getting the birthday presents you wanted. You also don't need a car.

>> No.9847551
File: 452 KB, 650x928, 57cc5dd75bfaf384644323884e0a54a9.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9847551

All these meme arrows are making my butt hurt.

Now I have to finger it.

>> No.9847561

>>9847550
i really don't think you belong on /jp/

>> No.9847566

Whenever my mom cries I like to push her buttons and see her explode, it's one of my favorite pastimes.

>> No.9847570

>>9847566
Do you like mindbreaking people?

>> No.9847572

>>9847561
I hope you don't think OP's post or the replies are serious.

>>
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