/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

A Transcendant Loli-witch from the future has come to you on your birthday, having taken pity on you, and offers you one of 4 gifts, of which you may have one:


1) The Wand of Sakura

A magical wand that turns you into a magical girl with the power to shoot heart-shaped laser blasts from your wand and fingertips.Yes, you have a vagina and all that. You also get a pretty dress and your hair is done up like a girl's whenever you activate it. However, you must periodically do battle with dangerous demons that will try to rape you. The wand is unbreakable, and you can summon it from anywhere to your hand. You may not sell the wand. You get very miserable periods every month.

If you choose this option, the last two digits of your post number will be your power level out of 99 points.

2) The Cauldron-O-Nip-Eats
A magical cauldron shaped like a Daruma doll that will produce any Japanese food you want. You may not sell the Cauldron or the food it produces, or give the food away. Food will appear at the bottom of the Cauldron prepared however you like.

3) One-Way trip to Gensokyo

You go to Gensokyo. You get no protection of any kind, and go as you are the moment you say yes, with whatever you wearing or holding.

4)The Mystery Box

No promises. It could be awful or terrible. Can only be chosen for the first 50 posts-once revealed, no one else can can choose this after the box is revealed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725755
mystery box

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725762
gensokyo

[Anonymous No.]

wand

>will try to rape you
Is that supposed to be a con?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725755
Is there any option but #3?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725773
Will I grow old if I pick 1 or will I be a permanent magical girl? Will I be cute as well or will my looks be completely random?

This is a dealbreaker

[Anonymous No.]

Will I grow old if I pick 1 or will I be a permanent magical girl? Will I be cute as well or will my looks be completely random?

This is a dealbreaker

[Anonymous No.]

Mystery box.

I could go to gensokyo with a hourai elixer

Or get another aidoru as a meido

[Anonymous No.]

for once the box is automatically the most appealing option

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725778
You will be a cute magical girl. You will not grow old in looks, but you will slowly become physically weaker and eventually die like a regular person. Your magic can grow in power level, though.

[None !Nipaa0mi0. No.]

>>9725755
The Wand of Sakura obviously. And the joke's on the demons; you can't rape the willing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725794

>94

Dat powerlevel

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725788
How much time do I have to live? Would it be like a regular person? And since I don't grow old in looks I'm assuming I'm not dying from cell degradation so what exactly is killing me and making me physically weaker? Because I could just eat and lift and avoid death.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725800
Regular person's lifetime. It's magic, don't bring your biology into this. You get old and die. You cannot stop it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725800
Magic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725810
>>9725814
If magic can kill me than magic can stop it. Is there a way to cast immortality magic then?

[Anonymous No.]

Gensokyo! Gensokyo! Gensokyo!

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725828
You will die get over it

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725828

You'll have to research that for yourself when you become a magical girl. No promises.

[Anonymous No.]

1 is tempting, but post numbers are too low right now so I will have to go with the magic box.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725755
I'LL TAKE THE BOX

[Anonymous No.]

I choose the cauldron. Free sushi all day err day? Count me in! The Japanese have the healthiest diets in the whole world!

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725863
>Sushi all day erry day

You'd get stomach cancer pretty quickly. You realize Japan has the highest rate of stomach cancer in the developed world, right? That's what happens when you make mercury a daily part of your diet.

[None !Nipaa0mi0. No.]

>>9725828
Become a doll-maker, create dolls that are exact replicas of your body and then use your magic to automatically transfer your consciousness to a new body when you die.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725755
The box. NO GUTS NO GLORY

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725887
RIP anon

died trying

[Anonymous No.]

Gensokyo, I purge it of monsters or die trying.

[Anonymous No.]

obviously the mystery box. surely it will hold the key to the mysterious goat tower of legend.

[Anonymous No.]

check my powerlevel dweebs

[Anonymous No.]

Jesus Christ, how many loli witches is there now? We're getting like one magical item per week. Eventually whichever lucky NEET this is will collect enough items to overpower any loli who might take pity on him and he will spend the rest of his magic-extended life cruising through the universe in his self-replenishing TARDIS room (that was one of the previous week's items, wasn't it?) to find and rape magical little girls.

He'll also be a lolifuta since every other item seems to turn you into a girl.

[Anonymous No.]

I wish to be a magic girl more than anything and no matter the cost.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725888
e/b/in :-DDD

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725900
hahahahahaha oWNED`

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725900
Tryhard nerd

[Anonymous No.]

look everyone, i found a picture of the mystery box

[Anonymous No.]

Can #2 provide low calorie yet delicious foods, or no magic foods?

If no magic food then I will choose to get raped by monsters.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725900
You're getting raped by ALL the demons. You'll have to report in on how it feels to be pregnant with a brood of tentacle monsters that will rape you the moment they are born.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725900

Lol nice try Mami you cowtits bitch

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725900

at least it couldn't get any worse

[Anonymous No.]

If you get the magical girl option you should not have periods, because those come in during puberty, after you are a girl.

[Anonymous No.]

MYSTERY BOX BABY LET'S DO IT

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725897
I'd just like to point out that I am currently the strongest magical girl.

[Anonymous No.]

Gonna' have to go with Wand of Sakura.

Bring it on.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725940
you're a girl experiencing the first days of her period; hence the painful, miserable nature of them.

[Anonymous No.]

The box

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725968
But then you would be some filthy whore in puberty, not a magical girl. None of this half-assed loli-with-woman-problems thing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725974

whatever

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725940
This man has a point. Lolis don't get periods.
If the Transcendant Loli-witch concedes that lolis don't get periods because they aren't in puberty yet, then that will be my choice.
Otherwise, I'm grabbing my backpack with my laptop, charger, and headhpones in it, and the tub of ice cream from my freezer, then saying "Yes" to Gensokyou. Time to befriend me an Ice Fairy.

[Anonymous No.]

The wand for me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725965

[Anonymous No.]

Now that we have settled that, wand me.

[Anonymous No.]

The wand obviously. even if the loli with her period doesnt make much sense

Although unlimited fresh baked melon bread is so tempting.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726001

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726001
Nice timing, fagmaster.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725916
Well, cenobites supposedly do offer ultimate pleasure in addition to ultimate pain. If they also looked like little girls I'd be very tempted to accept the box.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726001
Don't delete your post fagfugger.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726001
Don't worry, melon-bread-san, I will protect you if you are cute enough.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726009
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fagging

>Fagging carried with it well-defined rights and duties on both sides. The senior, sometimes called fag-master, was the protector of his fags and responsible for their good conduct.

Why is Britain so gay?

[Anonymous No.]

Please reveal the mystery box op

[Anonymous No.]

magic gurl

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725755

Cauldron-O-Nip-Eats. It's been far too long since I've had okonomiyaki or proper sashimi.

Wait, how does it deal with things like Yakiniku, where you get several plates of raw meat that you cook over a grill, or Shabu Shabu, where you get several plates of raw meat that you cook in this big vegetable broth inside of a giant... I don't know what it's called. Does the cauldron just give you the plates of raw meat and turn itself into that container for the broth? For Yakiniku, does it turn into the grill? There are numerous Japanese foods like these that you cook as you eat. How does it handle those?

[Anonymous No.]

The Mystery Box is open!

The Transcendant Loli Witch makes you her sex-slave for life. Her main fetishes include watersports, BDSM, extreme humiliation and farting. If you are a switch or a sadist, you are forcibly put through masochism-training until you like being her bitch. The loli Witch rules a hellish realm filled with monstrous demons. Occasionally, you will be subjected to violent gangbangs involving her succubus and Lilim friends. You are forced to wear a gimp suit at all times.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726096
"Why didn't I pick curtain number four!?!" -/jp/

[None !Nipaa0mi0. No.]

>>9726055
> "I started going through my students' Facebook profiles, with their permission, and was inundated with hundreds of photos of men kissing on their nights out," Anderson reports.
>Anderson is now moving his research on to cuddling. "Last week, I was talking to my second-year students about two straight men cuddling; they laughed, 'what's the big deal about that'," he says. "I polled them, and found that 14/15 said they had spooned another man, in bed, sleeping all night long.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2011/jan/04/straight-men-kissing-homophobia

Maybe its because of their naval tradition (which as Churchill said consisted of "rum, sodomy and the lash".)

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726096
Whoa, phew. Dodged a bullet there.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726096
Sucks for you metafags who assumed number four would be best.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726096

Hah! Knew it; the mystery box has been far too good recently.

Good thing I picked the cauldron. That's an infinite amount of healthy food and water (even if it only said 'food', since it said the food can be prepared however I like, I can just wish for the food to come doused heavily in water). Practical AND delicious.

[None !Nipaa0mi0. No.]

>>9726096
Do people who picked 4 also get punched out by Bruce Willis?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726119
I don't understand your reference

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726115
>He doesn't think the box option was the best option!

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726157
People always assume that the mystery box will be a great thing, and outside of when it is played for comedy, it is usually the best option. It is the worst option here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726158
Enjoy having splinters in your colon after being assraped by a demon with a wooden dick.

[Trap No.]

>>9725755
Rolling for my magical girl power level

It's only rape if you don't want it

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726158
Fuck off with your meme arrows.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726170

There's such a thing as statutory rape, sadly. If you're a little girl, and old man can rape you no matter how hard you try to consent to it.

[Anonymous No.]

Wand me faggot.

[Anonymous No.]

Wand, rollan.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726201
>>9726209
I have no idea how you did that bad.

[Anonymous No.]

Rolling for power level

[Anonymous No.]

>with whatever you wearing or holding.
Number 3.

[Anonymous No.]

My birthday was just days ago and I didn't see any single loli-witch. Fuck you OP.

[Anonymous No.]

OP here. Magical Girl power rankings:

>00-20
Very weak. Your heart-beam blasts carry the power of an average human's punch, and aren't very big.
>21-40
Mediocre. Your heart-beam blasts feel like a very heavy punch-if used enough, they can cause fires on flammable materials.
>41-60
Average. Your heart-beam blasts are what one would expect from a magical anime beam blast. Being hit with one is comparable to being shot with a small-caliber handgun.
>61-80
Strong. Your heart-beam blasts are pretty fearsome. You can blow through walls like a high-caliber cannon shell. If you hit a regular human with your blast, you'd probably make their limbs explode.
>81-95
Very powerful. Your heart-beam blasts are regarded and feared in the demon world for their destructive capabilities. You can level houses and small buildings with a single beam if you focus.
>95-99
Power that can demolish almost any demon effortlessly, and makes the generals of hell shake with fear at the thought of them. Your beams are hot enough to instantly vaporize water in it's wake. You could easily shoot a beam from your pinky and make an entire city explode and burn to ash. To be hit point-blank with your heart-beam is to be vaporized into nothing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726235
Please take your shitty threads back to /a/v/b/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726235
Edit:

>81-94

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726235

>Your beams are hot enough to instantly vaporize water in it's wake.
>it's

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726235
I guess I don't have to worry about getting raped by any demons I don't like.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726252
I could rape you if you like.

[Anonymous No.]

I ask for the loli-witch's phone number.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726267

She holds you down and fucks your ass until it bleeds, then. She demands complete subservience and obedience.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726247
Correct grammar dork, its the waters wake so it get's the possessive indicator.

[Anonymous No.]

The wand is mine!

[Anonymous No.]

The wand. The others are of limited use to me. The wand could be fun.

[Anonymous No.]

have a gander at my power level.

[Anonymous No.]

I guess #2 would be most practical, and #3 could turn out to be quite interesting, but I just can't say no to guaranteed power. #1 it is.

>You get very miserable periods every month.
Only when I'm a girl, right? Shouldn't be a problem. Demons too, since I'm strong.

[Anonymous No.]

#1 Plz.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726399
Yeah, you think you're all that, huh!?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726404
I got 999, I think I am stronger.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726407
You think we can perform laser eye surgery as a part time job? Well, maybe it would do more harm than good...

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726423
I'm thinking demolition.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726427
That's actually a great idea.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726430
Actually, I'll use my powers of cuteness and explosiveness to become a stripper demo-girl.

I'll dance around and take clothes off, then vaporize buildings. I'll
Be a Vegas smash!

Making 6 figures working 3 days a week.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726447
It'll be like a laser light show, except the lasers are actually deadly and can destroy buildings. Sounds fun~!

[Anonymous No.]

I like the sound of the wand. Would it really be rape if I enjoyed it?

[Anonymous No.]

Wand of Sakura obvious choice.

[Anonymous No.]

So if it's on my birthday I can know when the loli-witch is coming? So, for instance, if I wanted to take option 3, I could gear up with weapons and such?

[Anonymous No.]

I might pick #3 if I weren't only wearing a towel right now.

I go with the daruma. Not having to go outside to get food is too good to pass up.

[Anonymous No.]

3) One-Way trip to Gensokyo

[Anonymous No.]

#3

If I die, then fuck it

[Anonymous No.]

3) One-Way trip to Gensokyo

[Anonymous No.]

[x] 4) The Mystery Box
These options are terrible.

[Anonymous No.]

Why did you make the condition on the mystery box? It worked out pretty good without it last time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9727240
>>9727242
Terrible. See >>9726096.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9727247
Why are you replying me?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9726096
I pick this option.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9727242

Because you're a stupid nerd.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9727256
I thought you said what instead of why.

[Anonymous No.]

What faggot wouldn't want a one-way trip to Gensokyo? I'll take three even after the mystery box was revealed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725755
About the one-way trip, will I need to know Japanese when I get into Gensokyou, or will it be an English friendly Gensokyou?

[Anonymous No.]

i actually like japanese food so i'd be all over the cauldron
i bet you could even order shit like pizza hut and mcdonalds japan specials. technically still japanese because they only sell that shit in japan.

[Anonymous No.]

I wanna be raped by dangerous demons. So 1.

[Anonymous No.]

1
anyone who doesnt want to be a magical girl and get raped by demons is a faggot

[Anonymous No.]

>>9725755
>arcphantasmmoon1

That's not Phantasmoon. That's Archetype Earth in a custom maid outfit that resembles her princess dress.