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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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9533932 No.9533932[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

How hard was it for you to get on autismbux?

How crazy did you have to act at the hearing?

>> No.9533937

I just whipped out my dick and started masturbating.

My psychologist was pretty hot so I had no problem getting it up.

>> No.9533938

I cried when the lady tried to talk to me. It helped

>> No.9533941

I brought my own stereo and breakdanced to '80s funk in front of them for 15 minutes, then I confessed my love to a chair as it died in my arms.

>> No.9533948

>>9533941
What percent nigga are you?

>> No.9533952

Remember to wear your worst clothing and not shave several weeks before going. Looking as messy as possible is good and makes you look crazy

>> No.9533964

>>9533948
http://youtu.be/0itOCgJtNVU

>> No.9533974

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72zx0gk29m4

>/jp/

>> No.9533983

>>9533974
Fuck that so bigoted. I feel offended. I think I can sue them.

>> No.9533993

Why does it seem like some people have so much trouble getting on SSI? People in actual wheelchairs and shit.

I just went in as a socially retarded aspie shut-in who was on suicide watch and I got it in a few months, wasn't even denied.

>> No.9534002

>>9533993
That just means they never once doubted how much of a retard you actually are!

>> No.9534013

>>9533993

Because they're quicker to accept shitheads that are fully capable of getting a job, then people with actual medical disabilities.

>> No.9534014

>>9533993

Chair people can work and they don't act crazy.

>> No.9534020

It was pretty much chance that for me. I was walking to the convenience store at 2 AM to refill my food stores, when I saw a man being bukkake'd by Scandinavians. He didn't seem happy about it, so I ran up behind one of them and grabbed the whizzy out from his belt and beat him over the head with it. The others ran.

Turned out the guy was a doctor. He asked how he could repay me, and I said "autismbux".

>> No.9534043

>>9534020
Hontoni? Kuso, aitakatta.

>> No.9534054

>>9534020
fake or not, i laughed

>> No.9534080

No one is really on autismbux. It's just a big joke. Getting on disability is very hard

>> No.9534105

>>9534080

yes they are

>> No.9534119

>>9534080
lol

>> No.9534126

>>9534080

Not if you live in a black neighborhood and get a black psychiatrist.

>> No.9534127

What hearing? I went to a psychologist and got myself declared unable to work.

>> No.9534144

>>9534127

What country do you live in?

>> No.9534163

>>9534144
Probably Norway.

>> No.9534178

>>9534163
Why "probably"?
Are you insinuating something about my country, fag?

>> No.9534186

>>9534144
Not him but I did exactly that and I live in canada.

>> No.9534195

Before going to the SSI hearing I loaded up on tons and tons of caffeine so I was even more anxious than I already am. My hands were shaking, I could barely speak, I looked like I was going to have a panic attack just sitting in the lobby.

It was great

>> No.9534200

>>9534195
What was great?

>> No.9534211

>>9534178
Yeah, it's an autist heaven where you can get paid for being useless with minimum hassle.

>> No.9534213

>>9534211
oh ok. Yeah that's pretty accurate.

>> No.9534218
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9534218

I acted like a badass, but was probably written off as a delusional, unstable psychotic.

>> No.9534226

>>9534218
I know that feel
when you are cool but the normals simply don't get it
due to their limited imagination

>> No.9534230

>>9534213
So was Breivik.

>> No.9534233

>>9534200

The anxiety was great for convincing them to give me free money.

>> No.9534247

How hard is it to fake paranoid schizophrenia?

>> No.9534250

>>9534230
haha good one.

>> No.9534251

>>9534144
Germany.

>> No.9534269
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9534269

>>9534226
I'm too cool to care about your feels, kid. Tell 'em to somebody who cares, like your mom.

>> No.9534278
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9534278

Before my assessment, I festered in my cum den for a few years, playing world of warcraft and browsing /jp/
I'm not too sure what effect that had but it seemed to do the trick.

>> No.9534335

How hard would it be for a 14 year old to hop on the autismbux train? My sister is turning out like me so my parents want to cash in on her.

>> No.9534337

>>9534278
Hello again.

Did you submit a questionnaire about your disability, or did you do it all over the phone?

>> No.9534362
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9534362

Should I have a diagnosis from a psychiatrist before I apply and go to autismbux building?

I haven't been to a psychiatrist yet, but I have a history of being prescribed everything from anti-depressants to anti-psychotics and sedatives like benzos. I don't know if I have an official diagnosis though.

I'm playing to head to the emergency room soon and tell them that I'm suicidal so that I will have the 72 hour hold on my record. Not sure if I should do the psychiatrist after that or just go straight for the bux.

>> No.9534365

>>9534337
Bit of both.
I still have some forms to fill out about getting a medical assessment, but they don't have to be sent away for a month.
I always leave stuff like that till the last possibler minute.
Or a few days before they are due, I'll ring up and say I lost the forms, so they resend them and yay, another month hahaha

>> No.9534372 [DELETED] 

>>9534335

You're to young to post here. Wait 4 more years.

>> No.9534379

>>9534372
reread the post idiot

>> No.9534384

>>9534379
I'm not that dude but it's obvious that you're underage.

>> No.9534387

>>9534379

oh sorry

>> No.9534391

>>9534384
That wasn't me, seriously she has aspergers and they want to claim. I was just curious if anyone had siblings like that. Apparently the forms are different or something.

>> No.9534389

>>9534362
Fuck Shrink's dude, just go to a normal doctor and ask for a sick note.
And guilt trip the hell out of anyone who tries to persuade you to get on meds, by saying you feel pressured.

>> No.9534414
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9534414

1. Don't sleep or eat the day before going.
2. Take many caffeine pills before going in.
3. Use some eye drops to clear up any red eye that you might have from the lack of sleep.

Recipe for super crazy

>> No.9534418

>>9534391
Must be serious if even parents admit having a daughter like that.

>> No.9534435

>>9534362

A diagnosis from a psychiatrist would definitely help.

Remember, you don't have to have autism. You just have to be too fucked up in the head to get a job.

It is very hard to survive on SSI, so make sure you really want this. You won't even be able to afford rent.

If they deny you, just keep applying. Don't give up.

>> No.9534454

>>9534418
She hasn't left her room in god knows how long, not even for food. We have to dump that shit outside her door and then leave before she snatches it in. Went to a psychiatrist and she has 'mild' aspergers and severe anxiety apparently. Parents are worried about her when she's older so they want to start saving money for her.

>> No.9534460
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9534460

I wish all of you autists were cute little girls instead of scary, large grown men.

>> No.9534461

>>9534414

Thanks, I'll be sure to do this. I'm going to take a shit ton of Adderall and stay up for days.

>> No.9534468

Do you actually have to go to a real court during these hearings?

The Uncle Remus guide said it was just some cubicle interview, but some of the things I'm googling make it sound like getting on disability involves going to an actual court infront of a real judge.

>> No.9534512

i gave up on trying for autismbux since it didn't go anywhere.

it was too much of a hassle so i just got a job being a janitor. i just clean toilets and mop floors with my earbuds in listing to 2hu music.

>> No.9534513

>>9534468

That's silly. They called me into a small room and interviewed me. It was about five years ago so I can't remember anything besides that.

>>9534460

>scary, large grown men

I'm 5'5" and underweight.

>> No.9534540

>>9534468

First time is cubicle, if you get denied and appeal then it's the cubicle again, then if you get denied again then you get a lawyer and take it to court. The more times you apply the more likely you are to get your bux.

>> No.9534561

>>9534540

You also get back pay as well. So if you applied this month and go denied and then after 12 months of reapplying you eventually get accepted then you will get a huge check which covers all of the money you should have been getting since the first application.

>> No.9534575

>>9534561
I recently got £1,080 in back pay.
I almost fainted.
I gave 200 to my parents because they had let me bum off them for months.
Not sure what to do with the rest.

>> No.9534581

>>9534575
If you don't mind me asking, how stressful did you find the whole experience? I'm a ukfag and about to go through the whole DLA process and I'm shitting bricks.

>> No.9534584
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9534584

I haven't felt this excited in years. I can't wait to start applying.

Autismbux, here I come!

>> No.9534598

>>9534581
I'm the definition of take it easy.
I don't know what stress is.

>> No.9534602

>>9534598

What kind of act did you put on during your interviews? Any hints on how I can act convincingly?

>> No.9534612
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9534612

>>9534584
If you're this spirited maybe you should just apply for a job! Yay, work!

>> No.9534627
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9534627

that chair when I live in a family filled with leeches and we're trained and taught from an early age to con the government and benefits

>> No.9534628

>>9534612
>Wanting to be a slave.

We've been over this.

>> No.9534632

>>9534627
Are you a nigger?

>> No.9534634

>>9534602
I didn't need to act.
They say I'm entitled to money because by their definition I'm not mentally ill.
That's their definition, not mine.
So all I had to do was just had to be myself.

>> No.9534642

>>9534632

No, but I am the white equivalent. We are a clan of rednecks and none of us have worked for several generations.

>> No.9534655

>>9534602
Just try to make about as much sense as
>>9534634
and you'll be golden!

>> No.9534658

How does one even live off such a small sum of money...?

>> No.9534665

>>9534634

dis nigga cray

>> No.9534679

>>9534658
By living with your parents.

>> No.9534683

>>9534658
By not being a consumer whore who always wants everything plus one.

All I need in life is a place to hide, enough food to live, decent internet and a good computer.

>> No.9534733

FINANCIAL FREEDOM!

>> No.9534824

is that 72 hour suicide thing really necessary? it sounds terrifying

>> No.9534996

Easy as hell, it just took forever.

Pretty crazy, I made my case as a completely incompetent autist, so I just went full rainman.

>> No.9535005

We don't get autismbux here where I live. You Yuroshits are lucky as you are lazy and fat.

I'll continue working miserably but at least I'll live to be older than 40 years old.

>> No.9535022

>>9535005
Just undo yourself. It's not harder than that.

>> No.9535031

>>9535005

Where do you live? Autismbux are an american thing

>> No.9535043

What if I'm just extraordinarily lethargic; I don't suppose there's lazybux, huh?

>> No.9535056

>>9535043
The autismbux are out there waiting for you, friend. A lot of autists are really stressed so they get tired and have to sleep.

>> No.9535058

I might do this if I can't put up with a job. I am already highly reclusive and considered a weirdo outcast by everyone I know and, despite me trying my best to be normal, I can never get it right. So fuck it I just want to be in solitude enjoying doing nothing but getting on the computer and playing my guitar. Loser for life. Gimme my autism money.

Would it help if before I went in to the autism money meeting thing I did something crazy like carve myself up or die my hair bright orange like Mr. Holmes?

>> No.9535064

>>9535043
Depends, you could play it off as chronic lethargy. How often and long do you sleep?
15 hours?

>> No.9535070

>>9535043
There's always job seekers allowance, if you're not ready to go full autist, but don't want to work.

>> No.9535084

>>9535056
I'm not really stressed...
>>9535064
12 hours on average.
>>9535070
Yeah, I've heard of stuff such as paid training and that jazz. Maybe I don't know. Main thing that keeps me from faking giga-autismalness is the effort needed to create such a persona.

>> No.9535092

>>9535084
Not good enough, you must do at least 15-20 hours on average. Sorry

>> No.9535097

I've been employed in the past, although I've only had one job, and I was there for less than a year. Would this hurt my chances of getting bux even if I'm still a complete weirdo?

>> No.9535131

>>9535097
Depends, how long since you last worked?
I've had plenty of jobs in the past.
But got fired from all of them for retarded shit.
Also if you've had any traumatic events recently that may have caused you to retreat from society, might wanna bring those up.

>> No.9535146 [DELETED] 

Can I apply for bux now if I had a job before? Did I ruin my chances?

>> No.9535152

>>9535131
It's been a year since I was fired. I requested a day off a week in advance, and they fired me for not showing up that day. The manager basically lied to the store owner and fucked me over.

Nothing traumatic has happened to me, although I've basically lost all of my friends and retreated from society completely. It's come to the point where I can't even look people in the eyes without nervously twitching noticeably.

>> No.9535171

>>9535152
I think a year without leaving the house should qualify you as reclusive.
It will help if you take someone with you (a parent) when you see a doctor or mental health assessment so they can vouch for you that you're not bullshitting.

Goodluck anon

>> No.9535172

>>9535152
Uncle Remus covers all your problems.
Study what you want to convey, convey it, and have the 72 hour lockup to backup your claims.

Dragging on about inane things beyond that is just you putting the whole thing off for no reason.

>> No.9535187

>>9535171
This is a 100% guaranteed way to completely fuck up your case, and ensure you never get on the autism bucks.

Do it only if you want to make absolutely sure you can never even bother trying again.

>> No.9535193

>>9535187
How so?

>> No.9535202

>>9535193
Imagine for a minute, that you're a 40 year old neckbeard who live in their mom's basement. Now pretend it was your life dream to marry a 3DPD whore. Assuming you managed to trick one into meeting you with all your heroic stories about how you founded the Marines, and won Pearl Harbor by yourself.

It's a bad idea in the same way that the hypothetical neckbeard asking his mom to backup his war story claims would be, even if she went along with it.

>> No.9535206

>>9534513
>I'm 5'5"

LOL beta as fuck

>> No.9535213

>>9534628
Except you're getting paid so it's not slavery.

>> No.9535232

>>9535213
But it is.

Someone is buying your time. There's nothing more valuable than your time.

>> No.9535244
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9535244

>being a virgin
>being a leech
>being a burden on your parents
>being ugly
>having no friends

Why don't you all kill yourselves? You really are wastes of human lives.

>> No.9535291

So it's best to do all of this without help from your parents?

>> No.9535294
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9535294

How much acting will I need to do to get the suicide hold at the hospital?

I'm not a very good actor. I have horrible anxiety, but I'm not suicidal at all. Do I need to pretend cry and act all weird when I go to the hospital or can I just walk up to the desk and say, "I am feeling suicidal. Please help me" in a calm voice?

>> No.9535296

>>9535244
I won't kill myself until you tell me who you are quoting.

>> No.9535305

>>9535294
Just wait two more years and you will be.

>> No.9535326

>>9535294

Take a whole bunch of aspirin or something non-lethal and start throwing up. Get your parents to call the hospital then you get the ambulance and get carted off to the psych ward without needing to say a word.

Attempted suicide would probably look better on the record too

>> No.9535348

>>9535326
So this is why people fail.

>> No.9535371

>>9535294

>"I am feeling suicidal. Please help me" in a calm voice?

Say it in an anxious voice. Either way they're obligated to lock you up if you say those magic words.

>> No.9535406

>>9535294

Pretty much what this guy said; >>9535371

If you say "I want to kill myself" in a robotic voice, or even insinuate you want to kill yourself, and even if you tell them a million times over you were just kidding, in the US they are obligated by law to lock you up in a psych ward after that.

I remember getting asked one time as a kid if I ever thought about suicide. I said something like, "Well of course, and so do you. Simply by asking that question you just thought about suicide, to learn the definition of the word suicide you would have had to thought about suicide, anyone saying they haven't thought about suicide is a liar."

They locked my ass up in a psych ward for 3 days, just for pointing out that fallacy in their question.

>> No.9535428

>>9535294
What you say is worthless next to how you behave.
That said, don't try and do more than you can. Once you're in, you'll be asked the usual questions by a couple of people, and probably thrown into some kind of therapy, that's the time you have to worry about being awkward.

As for what kind of awkward you should be, that depends on what you're going to claim. Read the Uncle Remus posts. If you refuse to study up and what you're going to do, then good luck to you, surely you won't need it.

>> No.9535429

>>9535406

>They locked my ass up in a psych ward for 3 days

What is it like? Are you in a padded white room with a straight jacket or is it not that bad? Do they at least sedate you for most of those three days?

>> No.9535445

>>9535429
It's pretty much just like being locked up in the drunktank.
They put you in your room, probably a shared one depending on where you live. They treat you like a five year old, and give you some benzos if your scream too much. Here's the thing though, you don't get out if you don't play their game. So when they say jump, just do it.

Otherwise it's just a lot of sitting around, and answering the questionnaire they all read from. No Hannibal Lector restraints or big padded rooms, unless your cause a scene.

>> No.9535456

>>9535429

The one I was in?

Basically there was about 8 bedrooms in the wing I was in. You spent the majority of the day in this one room with all the other kids though, basically they did the same thing everyday, watched TV, played nintendo 64, played card games, or talked a bit with eachother.

Everyday there would be some bullshit "game" or something that they called "therapy".

They were trying extremely hard to get me and my parents to consent to them giving me drugs. For pretty much no reason at all. I'm sure they could have forced them into me if they really wanted, but that was something they really saved for when a kid threw a fit. (Which happened twice when I was there, some kid flipped out, they immediately held them down and stuck a syringe in them filled with strong sedatives)

It wasn't THAT bad, but it certainly is not a place I would like to go back to.

>> No.9535469

>>9535406
It was the department of redaction and euphemisms the ones responsible for locking you up.

>> No.9535471

I probably qualify for autismbux, but I can't afford a psychologist visit and am too terrified of going in to get checked and apply anyway.

Feels bad, man.

>> No.9535473

>>9535445
>>9535456

This sounds horrible. Do I have to interact with the other patients? I had been picturing a room where I would be alone.

My plan was to just get into the room and sit down the entire time. I've been practicing meditation so I can stay in a near catatonic state for extended periods of time. If I'm going to be forced to socialize then I'll have a panic attack though.

I guess that might look good for my autismbux case though.

>> No.9535488

>>9535473
You probably won't have five minutes alone the entire time there. And if you play the catatonic card, I don't think you'll be getting out at all, any time this year.

See, you have to cured, and healthy, normal, and not a danger to anything in order for them to give you the go ahead. And let me tell you, the environment they keep you in just does wonders for that.

Have fun.

>> No.9535501

>>9535473
Getting a panic attack would be perfect material for going with your application.

And yes, tell them you're feeling suicidal. My sister was put on a waiting list that would last weeks first time she applied for counseling. After she said those magic words, they suddenly had room for her in a few days.

>> No.9535502

>>9535473

In the one I was in, they allowed you the option to stay secluded in your room the entire day. You didn't even have to go to the 30 minute "therapy games".

The only requirement I think was that you would have to come out and eat.

Just saying, if your insurance is good for letting you stay there a long time, I'm pretty sure they would give you a really fucking hard time about getting out of there if you just stayed secluded in your room and acted anti-social.

They pretty much won't let you out until your insurance says "no more", or you act how they want you to act.

>> No.9535518

You seriously do not want to end up in any wards.

They want to CURE you, meaning HAVE A LIFE and GO OUT. They don't want to see you waste taxpayer's money and stay on the dole for the rest of your life. They want you to get a job and make friends.

If you want to become a normal you should go there but otherwise steer far clear from it.

>> No.9535533

>>9535518
You just have to know how to play their game for three days. It's stupidly easy if you can, becuase once anyone sees you were there they assume the worst and you're greenlighted for autismbucks pretty much right from there.

If you can't play their game though, then you're in a bit of a tough spot.

>> No.9535538

>>9535518
You don't have to become normal. You just have to do what they want you to do in order to get out.

After you've regained your freedom, you can do as you wish.

>> No.9535548

>>9535471
Same here. This seems biased against people with actual problems.

>> No.9535554

>>9535533

What do you have to do to convince them to let you go free?

I can talk to psychiatrists and say I don't feel suicidal anymore after a couple days of sitting alone, but I can't handle socializing with other inmates in some group therapy thing.

>> No.9535564

>>9535554
You don't have to be all smiles and giggles, just let them "pull you out" of your suicidal mood, and tell them you're ready to go back out on the job hunt.

Just do what they say.

>> No.9535560

>>9535518

Odd, everyone I seen come out of a psych ward was more mentally fucked up then before.

If you take a person with mild mental issues, lock them up in an asylum, and tell them that they're "mentally ill" over and over again, they're going to eventually believe it and act accordingly, they're going to sub-consciously try harder to fit into that label. It's called a self-fulfilling prophecy.

>> No.9535807

Suicide watch is terrifying. You might be trapped in there for weeks

>> No.9536617

>>9535518
>You seriously do not want to end up in any wards.

I ended up getting my NEET brother sent to one.

Even though it was a relatively nice private facility, the experience was so bad that he agreed to go on some medication they prescribed for him, and went back to school a few months after he got out -- anything to avoid getting sent back.

>> No.9536654 [DELETED] 

Thank you for making this otaku culture related thread, keep it up.

>> No.9536654,1 [INTERNAL] 

>>9534454
How is your sister doing now?

>>
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