/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Look at the fucking faggodork sperglords on /jp/ lol! What are you assnuggets doing today? I hope you didn't run out of things to stick up your gaping butthole! Try not to cry if someone picks on you on the internet nerds! Peeing in bottles and not bathing? What a bunch of fucking losers!

"I wanna be a little girlll!" Wow, what a mental disease, imagine how ashamed your mom and dad are at what a homo their son is.

"Hey mom guess wht i did lst night since ur my only frand, i playded 2hu and posted flanfly on /jp/ at 2 AM. El OH EL!" and your mom says: "Thats nice honey" but she's thinking: "Oh my god, my son is such a stupid faggot, I wish he'd move out and have a real relationship with a girl instead of sucking on dildos all day and looking at stupid girly cartoons!"

/jp/=fags

[Anonymous No.]

OP of the Marimite thread here,
so asspained.

[Anonymous No.]

> a real relationship with a girl
Absolutely despicable. What are you, some kind of faggot?

[Anonymous No.]

You suck at this.
Assmaster.

[Anonymous No.]

I didn't bother to read your post, but thank you for the image.

[Anonymous No.]

"Hey mom, can you pick me up some tampons for my butthole? no I dont really need them but i like to pretend that im a realll girl! Wht do you mean that is disgusting and wrong!? U just dont understand me mom, I hate you, fuck you, dont come in my room ANYTMORE. I'll just pee and poop in the corner and eat while u and baka dad are alseep!"

-typical /jp/er

[Anonymous No.]

y u so mean ;__;

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343611
>>9343613
>>9343620
>>9343623

Check out these nerds !

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Enjoyable to watch, this series was.

[Anonymous No.]

fuck u dad ur just cis-gender prvillege white male! im not like u, i wana move to japan and play eroge and play 2hu, the greatest games ever made, all day! and ill get a japanese boyfriend and suck his cock everyday and we be truNEET hikkikomori together! i wish u understood me, dad, but u wont even let me live at home 4 free anymore when im only 37! u just dont UNDERSTAND ME I HAVE AUTISM DAD, the state shud take care of me! if this were japan u and mom wud take care of me necause japan cares about family unlike stupid hateful america!

-/jp/er off his midol

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343649
> u wont even let me live at home 4 free anymore when im only 37!
Parents should take care of their kids until the kids decide to leave on their own.

[Anonymous No.]

oh my god my shimapan came today! and my pantyhose and dress im gonan dress up lik ea girl when mom are away. i shaved my legs wit my dads razor last nite wile he was sleeping. after this im gonna go online and let /jp/ HOW GUUD IT FEELS TO DRESS UP

img gona make tea too and drink it like truNEET and 1cc SA and UFO and then show my frands on jaypee the screenshots so i can fit in!

mayne they tell me i one of them!

I sure wish I had boifrand, but my dad woudl kcik me out of the houe cause he such a BAKA

but thats okay because today im gona fuck my aspuzzy and dress up like meido and be pretty!

- /jp/er on his birthday (Mom and Dad on vacation)

[Anonymous No.]

If this thread gets deleted it's only because NSJ hates anime images.

[Anonymous No.]

Holy fuck, so much butthurt going on in this thread.
Hilarious.

[Anonymous No.]

hey dad can i borow sum money? no im going on a date u dumbass! and by borowo i mean give, cause i cant pay u back because truNEET unlike slave 2 society like u dad LOL work for a living ur a loser!

i wan to order this waay cool figure that came out of MARISA KIRSIME u wouldnt no about her becue ur a merican and watch stupid merican television like football and stupid sitcoms like frasier and everbody raymond! shes from a cgame for superior players like myself!

i also needa new pack of underwear becuse i accidnetly went in mine.

just give me asome money dad! god its not a big deal! ur such a a asshole baka!

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343694
> work for a living ur a loser!
That is correct.

Also, you forgot your signature, ``faggot''.

[Anonymous No.]

hey mom u ever wish u had ddauther? becuse i can be ur daughter for u. i dont like ebin a boy i wanna be a girl. wht do u mean that makes me GAY? im PNASEXUAL MOM! u wouldnt understand cause ur sooo clotes-minded! u think everyone gay or straight! well im not! im just expresing myself!

wut do u mean while under ur house your rules? Fuck u mom! you wont give me any money for panties? well screw u i'l just steal it from u when ur sleeping!

[Anonymous No.]

ur a asswrekd faget

OP STATUS:
0wN3D4LyF3

[Anonymous No.]

LOl i cant belive u and mom r going to work wht ur just slaves and dont no it! i live the good life alone in my rom taking it easz and not workin like a chump! im studyin autism rite now so i can get a check too! FOR FREE! but u and mom rnt smart enuff to play the siystem like me and get free munoey for life. thats what a REAL smart person does!

by te way im out of shin ramyun ramen cn u get me sum? THE ONLY SEL MARUCHAN AT THE GROCERY STORE U GO TO? UGHHH UR SUCHA BAKA THATS SHIT I WANT THE IMPORTED KIND!

U WANT ME TO WASH THE DISHES while ur gone ??FUCK YOU BOTH

-/jp/er after a long night of browsing /jp/

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343710
You forgot your signature again.
Back to /a/, ``please''!

[Anonymous No.]

Stop bullying zunbar please, all he wishes for is having some fun. NO MATTER WHAT.

╔═══════════（ ＾ω＾)══════════╗
～～～～～～～～ Repost this if ～～～～～～
～～～ you support Mystery Man "Z" and ～～～
～ want to rename /jp/ to "Shitposting Culture" ～
╚═══════════（＾ω＾ )══════════╝

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343694
oh god that outfit

[Anonymous No.]

> look /jp/ ! I'm so mad at you feeling good with your sick way of life that i was forced to make a post only to tell you how sickening you are !
Arigato, anon-kun. We really appreciated it.

But 4chan is a bad place will lots of weird people, so we advice you to leave this area at once for your own good.

Then again, thanks you for concern.

With love.

a /jp/ anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343732
> thats what a REAL smart person does!
You're god damn right it is.

[Anonymous No.]

Hello OP.
You seem to be awfully knowledgeable about the lifestyle of a /jp/er.
Are you by any chance “projecting”?

[Anonymous No.]

We don't even have the choice to be born as girls or boys. It's basically our parent's fault. Deal with it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343745
Is that you, koko?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343743
I really love those quotes. They are just so... cute.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

OP sounds really cute~
I'd suck the HELL out of his cock :3

[Anonymous No.]

god no one UNDERSTANDS me. im not some normalfag loser like every1 from hischool! one day im gona be a famous programer and make a progrm that anlzies a boy and then tels him how to be more like a girl1 so that SOciety cant tell us how to dres and act n feel n we all be liberated cus my program! im reading SICP and gona lern C because thats wht real programs start wit lol not loser c- plus plus for losers. il make my own game too it be shmups bcus thats the best kind n itl be realy deep like story about figthgn against the weflare agency for denying ur claim for autism bucks cuz udepresion and being scared of pelple IS NOT A REAL MENTAL DISORDER? FUCK U!!!!

im making tea the TRUNEET way by lose leafs i order on tea sites and i only use my japanese teapot and tea cups to drnk from bcezue western tea is for losers

MOM STOP LAUGHING AT ME

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343751
No Anon, you are cute.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343764
And forgot it

again

[Anonymous No.]

hey mom i no wwht i want for christmas. no not more dolls-and their figures mom not dols. i like dolls 2 though but thats not what i want u JUDGEMNTAL bitchBITCH!

i want a maid unform. a rel one not a fake one. one that real japnese french maids wear. why? cus I WANT to wear one! i also want a 10 prs of NICE panties made of silk n a dress n a bonnett and i want a makeup kit too. DAD dont cal mea fag!

wht u mean? mom just icause i dont go anywhere dunst me i dont want to be prety at home! u just dont understand me! FUCK.

god ur the worst parents ever!

-/jp/er after accidentally ruining his orgasms in November when his mother knocked on his door and startled him.

[Anonymous No.]

I like the programming one.

[Anonymous No.]

Am I the only one who thinks these are amusing?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343813
No.

[Anonymous No.]

yeh? u know wht mom img ona educate ur today. even thur or a slve 2 the system and a baka and brought me into this HELL of a world i wil be nice n tell u bout my favoritet hing in the world.

it is called touhou. its about shirne maidesns. its made by ZUN and he is a geniusss. he also drinks lots of beer. the srnine mades fight YOKAi. u know what a youkai is? course not ur unculturalized AMERICAN pig. yokai is a japanese spirit that become powerful because old and be like a demon almost. not stupid western demon or spirit ghost shit. and they are cute girls in 2hu. so Zun make games where you shoot and try to do bettr each time wit ur favorite chrcters!

NO mom threy'nore just "little games with pretty girls"! theyre a CULTural PHENOMNEN! u wound undertand if u woud give ita chance!

moh and there re vampirs n orgres n gap lady and fox lady and CHENN lol and so fun! onl secondaries just liek the characters tho 2 be truNEET jaypeer u have to play the games and 1cc each of them wit NO BOMBS.

Mom STOPPP LAUGHINGGG!

-/jp/er feeling generous after having a particularly large cup of green tea and having received his dragon dildo the night before.

[Anonymous No.]

http://fuuka.warosu.org/jp/?task=search&ghost=yes&search_text=mystery+man+%22z%22

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343828
Who is Mystery Man "Z"?

[Anonymous No.]

i hate excerscisng mom its for stupid loser meatheads. lift waits? wht is it his Middlages! like i need to lif theavy shit thats wht slaves 2 society like u and dad are for! be healthy? thatsstupid waste of time. u might not undertand this, u probabgly dont actulyay, but i dont care when i died i just want to enjoy 2hu and eroge and /jp/ and then just DIE becuse living a long time is for LOSRS who cant LET GO and are WEAK MEANTALY.

run or do cardio? thats so stupid! i just dont eat anythin n i stay underweight. yea i get tired on my way to the bathroom downstairs when i run out of botles but thats like ONCE A MONTh and DOESNT matter. i can move round my room and sit witr out trouble wht do i need stupid exercise for? thats just for IDIOTS hu dont unsderstand that hteir bodies are gona become SHIT anyway! y waste time whn u could be playing 2hu and become good at it? that is a real acmolpishment unlike deadlifting 1000 lbs like yuugi who isnt real. fucking stupid losrs.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343837
i don't really know for sure, but i still love following along with the latest /jp/ memes


（ ＾ω＾) Support Mystery Man "Z"! Put this in your signature if you want to rename /jp/ to "2D/Random" （＾ω＾ )

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343849
>i don't really know for sure

``I come to /jp/ to discuss anime and video games.''
　　　　　　　　　－Zunbar, best poster on /jp/, 2012

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343852
how am i discussing anime or video games? i'm also not zunbar

（ ＾ω＾) Support Mystery Man "Z"! Put this in your signature if you want to rename /jp/ to "2D/Random" （＾ω＾ )

[Anonymous No.]

get a job? FUCK YOU dad. i told u before: its agianst my princiapls. i wil NOT work 4 a stupid socieyy of assholes hu dont care about me just so i can get a stupid paychek and buy useless shit like a mindles drone! i want to ENJOY my life n i have to spend it doin somethin hard like filing paprs all day then FUCK IT AL. i wiurd rathr kil myself. do u want me to kil myself? u r resonsibly for me forever, just like mom. cuse u made me. if u make me leave then ur a piece of FUCKING SHIT.

besides i trck society to get money to buy suseful stuf like eroge, dakimura, figures, tea and dresses! i dnnt waste it on studpid lshit like a wseternerner like u. like cars-where i ned to go? or on TVEs? wht i need to watch? stupid AMERICn telvsion? or BUYING VIDOEGAMES BOOKS OR MVOIES? OH MY GOD DAD THAT IS FOR HCUMPS WHO DONT NO HOW TO GET FREE ON THE INTENRET THEY ARE SO PATHETIC MINDLESS DRONES OF SOICETY!

let me tel u ythis dad. i dont luve u. why? cuz u made me live the life of hell,. so fuck u. also, im out of shin ramyun again-NO NOT MARUCHAN FUCK YOU DAD GET ME SUM AFTER WORK. i cant wait for amazon to ship it1 thats tomorow, and i REFUSe to eat disgusting american beef and vegetables like an ignraont westerner.

-/jp/er upon being asked by his father what his aspirations in life were, and whether he had thought about trying to get a job and living on his own.

[Anonymous No.]

mom.dad cal the hospital...! i just fel off the side of the tub wit the plunger in my ass and it snapped n i think it riped into my intestines..im feling dizy mom..if ths is the end...i wnat u to no...that i never loves u bcecuze u gave birt to me and i fuckin hatebein alive....but i want to live at same tiem...cuse eroge and t2hu r coming ut as we speak...ths made be the end. n i dont care anywya. hte only thing i regrt is not makng my progrm that helps boyz becum girls. idndt even finish SICP but i was gon do it 2morow.

-/jp/er after injuring self while celebrating posting flanfly at exactly 2:00 AM for the first time before someone else did

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

（ ＾ω＾) Support Mystery Man "Z"! Put this in your signature if you want to rename /jp/ to "2D/Random" （＾ω＾ )

Is this how you do it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343877


Hang on sweetie! Your father and I love you, even if you live at home, have never had a job, are homosexual or bisexual or fuck cartoon pillows or whatever! Don't say such things, you know you love your mother and father, and we love you! We're a family! Look at all this blood, what were you thinking, putting a plunger in your butthole? Don't worry, the ambulance is on it's way. What do you mean you don't care if you live or die? You just told us to call the hospital! Are you just embarrassed that your mom and dad caught you doing one of your gay things again? Oh, sorry, sorry I didn't mean to call it that. Liking things in your backside is part of what makes you special, darling-even if it's not exactly what me and your father-especially your father-wanted to be special about you.

Programming? You mean like with computers? Oh, stop talking so much, save your energy. Yes, the hospital will have people in it, what kind of question is that? THAT's what you're afraid of? Oh Christ.

H-honey, stop shaking your head-your his father, try to support him right now!

- The /jp/ers moderate, middle-class parents comforting him after his accident, despite his rude and hateful comments and feminine crying.

[Anonymous No.]

``I come to /jp/ to discuss anime and video games.''
　　　　　　　　　－Zunbar, best poster on /jp/, 2012

Is this also another /jp/ meme?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343909

f-fuck u mom...ur the one that left the plunger out for our STUPID ISdisgusting western toilet! if we had a squat toilet u wundt need this tihing nad id never have shuved it up my butt!

FUCK U DAD

mom if i die dont lok at my computr. i want u to bury it wit me. wit it on my chest mnear my heart so i can be wit my frands in gensokyo and on /jp/ 4ever.

mom wil they inject me wit stuff? im scared. it hurts soo bad but needsles hurt to oh my god im so scared. mom gte my lapotp i ned to tel ./jp/ wht is hpening!

[Anonymous No.]

Make it stop!

[Anonymous No.]

-The /jp/er begins to have his life play before his eyes as his body becomes colder and colder from blood loss-

He remembers his first year of school, when he was just 5 years old. He remembers all of the boys were bigger, stronger, louder and more "boyish" than him-this made the boy uncomfortable and frightened, especially when they tried to play games with him. After a while, he was ostracized and often bullied for his shyness and small stature. The girls, which he felt a sort of kinship with, laughed at him and spit on him, stole his snacks, and cut his hair with scissors at lunch. The /jp/er often went home in tears.

The next year was little different, nor was the next, nor the next, each one making him more quiet, afraid and lonely. But he didn't cry as much anymore-he was used to being pushed around, called names, having his things stolen or ruined, and though it hurt, his eyes were rather dry through it. He began wearing glasses, and spent his time reading books or playing video games. He often skipped school, and though he never cried in class anymore, he often went to sleep hugging his pillow and gently weeping.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343959
>The next year was little different, nor was the next, nor the next, each one making him more quiet, afraid and lonely. But he didn't cry as much anymore-he was used to being pushed around, called names, having his things stolen or ruined, and though it hurt, his eyes were rather dry through it.

that chair

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343959
You lost me.

Everything was fine till this post.

[Anonymous No.]

It's not funny because my parents didn't pay attention to me. Fuck you OP.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343959
-Only a few moments have passed, as the /jp/er recalls his years in school-

Before kindergarten, the young boy had been cheerful and happy. He'd been eager to learn new things, and explore his home and backyard-imagining all the wonderful things that would happen to him as he grew older.

But, those notions faded, or rather, were crushed as he slowly grew up. He finished elementary school without a single friend, and had spent many days in school not uttering a single phrase or word. He stopped eating snacks or lunch at school-becoming smaller.

Middle school was little different, but the /jp/er discovered computers and anime, and played the longest, most time-consuming video games he could find. He thus spent his time browsing the internet and watching his favorite shows, playing RPGs and pretending he had friends that would accompany him anywhere, which helped him to escape the dreary, unpleasant nature of his school life. His mother and father were concerned for their boy, but the little /jp/er shunned them without thinking-spending his time after school locked in his room, in the dark, with headphones on, watching his monitor quietly or staring blankly at his television. He rarely ate with his mother or father at dinner, instead eating prepackaged foods in his room when they went to bed, and sleeping a few hours before school.


He went this way, never once telling anyone what he enjoyed in private. He entered high school-and grew just a bit hopeful. Just a bit. Other people liked

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343626
Hey man, some people need tampons for rectal leakage after intense anal.

[Anonymous No.]

H I N A

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343993
I was interested in computers before elementary school.
I never went to high school.
I'm not homosexual.

This story really doesn't apply to me at all.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344006
>I'm not homosexual.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF /jp/ ``please''!

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343993
-The /jp/er is unaware that he is being lifted from the bathtub, things are becoming blurry and confusing in reality; he only understands the massive amounts of blood that are pouring past his thighs and onto the side of the bathtub and tiles on the floor.-

Other people liked video games-and maybe some of them liked anime too. High school was supposed to be more mature and interesting, right? A lot of the characters the /jp/er loved were from high school anime-they discovered truths about themselves, and made new friends, and girls would even confess their love with red cheeks.
The /jp/er finally made a friend. He was a little weird-he was a bit bigger than the /jp/er, and had dirty hair, and was kind of loud, but he was kind of nice,and said he liked Final Fantasy (Even thought that isn't the /jp/ers favorite, it's nice to find someone with somewhat similar interests)
One day in class, he mentions to his new friend that he was enjoying a show called Azumanga Daioh. Upon looking it up on the internet, his friend came in the next day during science class. He sat down, away from the /jp/er, and snickered with a few other boys. The /jp/er felt his stomach sink. The boy turned around, biting his lip. "What are you, a faggot? I can't believe you like that shit!" Everyone in the class started laughing as he told them that the /jp/er enjoyed a show about little girls and that he was probably going to grow up to rape children.
The /jp/er was crushed. He never talked to anyone else during his high school years, and was routinely pushed around, spit on, and stolen from.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343601
i fuq ur mom lmao

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344023
epic story op you should not stop posting ever

[Anonymous No.]

Once again OP, are you “projecting”?
Is this your life story?
Would you like us to comfort you?

Whatever may or may not have happened to you in the past, just know this — you are amongst friends now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344023
-The /jp/er is out as he is put into the back of the ambulance, and blood transfusions are begun-
The worst was gym class, when his clothes were stolen, often found in the toilet, either defecated upon or soaking in all of the boy's piss. The /jp/er once again sealed himself, retraining his eyes to become dull and unaffected whenever he was hurt. He skipped school even more. He did only what was necessary to pass his classes, sat at the farthest corner of the bus (or the closest to the younger students who didn't know him) and went straight to his room after school, to post on forums online.
This continued for the four years, until the /jp/er graduated without any distinction. His parents told them they were proud, but he knew he hadn't done anything special or impressive. All he remembered from high school was being bullied, watching anime, playing video games, and losing interest in other people.

But it was over-high school was over. Would things ever change for him?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344057
Your negative comments are probably really hurting his feelings. Can you please stop?

[Anonymous No.]

Boy, this sure went to shit fast.

Nobody wants to read some shitty exposition.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344057
I do, fuck off.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344059
>>9344060

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344048
I'm sure people change for the better after high school! You know, more mature and all that. I can't wait for the happy ending.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344070
*le ZUN!bar face when staring at you like that*

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344057
>>9344070
fuck off slut

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344048

-The ambulance speeds off to the hospital, the /jp/ers parents following behind in their own vehicle. The /jp/er is administered painkillers as he nods into his own memories-

The /jp/er decided that college was a waste. It cost lots of money-lots of money his parents couldn't give him. And he didn't want a big loan-he didn't even want a job. All he wanted was to be left alone to enjoy the things he enjoyed, without interference. He hadn't done particularly well in school-and he hadn't developed an interest in any academic pursuits. He instead delved deeper. He began reading more manga, and reading visual novels he found translated online. He played doujin games in Japanese. Each day he would wake up in the late afternoon, indulging in his hobbies, and then going to sleep. He ate once a day, and used the bathroom perhaps twice in that period.
He was enjoying himself-but this continued for several years. He began losing interest in his hobbies-but he continued with them. He played games he felt as though he'd played before, just to kill time. He read things without reading them, and downloaded files, knowing full well he'd never bother to open them. He decided that real life girls were disgusting and evil-not that males were any better. The only good people were non-existent. They were the only ones he could have ever considered friends.

[Anonymous No.]

I liked this thread better when it was hilarious ownage of /jp/ homos.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344084
>>9344087

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344110
Disgusting pig boy Ewwww

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344089
-The /jp/er is lifted onto a gurney, and rushed into an operating room. His intestines were practically destroyed, and he would need to be acted upon soon if he were to survive-

The /jp/er, of course, like any other lonely geek, spent a lot of time masturbating, and fantasizing about sexual interludes. At first, this included girls at school, and then the girls from his video games and anime, along with porn stars and women he found in videos online. He could distinctly recall the excitement and arousal he'd experience upon finding something new and erotic on the internet for the first time, or discovering a girl in a new show or video game that made him swoon.
He had grown tired of most of it-along with his other hobbies, he had no interest in reality anymore. No interest in real girls. His interest even in 2-dimensional girls was a cycle of briefly searching for a doujin, pulling out his penis, stroking, ejaculating, and then closing it before going back to /jp/ to browse. To further interest himself, he began playing with his anus-with his fingers, and long cylindrical objects from the house. He looked at homosexual doujins. He looked at traps, at shemales, at futanari-things he'd never before been interested in. He found his libido renewed, and tried to tell himself that he was living the good life-video games, anime, manga, eroge, doujins, porn-anything he wanted at his fingertips. He told himself he was happy over and over.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344118
FUCK OFF ASSHOLE

IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HE HAS LARGE BONES

FUCK!

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343933
>mom if i die dont lok at my computr. i want u to bury it wit me. wit it on my chest mnear my heart so i can be wit my frands in gensokyo and on /jp/ 4ever.

I'm putting this in my will.

[Anonymous No.]

This thread is so bad.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344131
But it is his fault that he's a fucking midget.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344131
There's a normal skeleton under all his fat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344131

[Anonymous No.]

-The /jp/er is awakened and instructed briefly, before being put under anesthesia-but in those brief seconds, he recalls the final stages of his short remembrance-

The /jp/er lost interest in even that. He spent more time on /jp/, simply calling people faggots, nerds, idiots or losers. He mocked anyone with any goals or aspirations that did not include taking it easy, soaking up welfare, or doing well in doujin games. He masturbated near-constantly, but never much enjoyed it. He slept 14 hours a day. Before long, the /jp/er was 26 years old, and entirely miserable-but at the same time,mostly content in his existence. He despised his parents for birthing him, and he despised society merely for being an assemblage of the people he'd learned to distrust and hate. He never felt excitement nor joy, only moderate amusement and basic-satisfaction at fulfilling some sort of near-basic bodily necessity.

This was his life. This was what he would do forever. He would die like this.

-The /jp/er is suddenly awake,and in a hospital bed, his mother and father looking down at him, their eyes wet-

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344162
>>>/vg/

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344185
>This was his life.

His real life just hasn't started yet.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344211
Incoming Kaiji image from some /a/ fag.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344185
-The /jp/er looked up at his mother and father, his own eyes perfectly clear-he felt very different. He felt very alive, for the first time in so very long-

mom, dad i had this LAMe dream. i drmt that i ws this loser wh actualy WANTEd to ebe a slave 2 society foreer n have girlfriends and stuff. GIRLS! girls r nuthing walkin chemical toilets, and real men are disgusting. n i dreamed tht i gactualy hated my life and didnt caer about 2hu. ARE U SHITING ME? my life is ht best posible. i relax al day and play videgames and ergoe and read manga and watch anime and dont let SOCTY tell ME what to fuckin do like some loser. of course, u to are siting cring like im gona die when i told u i dont even care. i dont care if i die stil. life sucks and fuck u both for having me. it scks i cant stimulate my postate for a wile, but, whtever. u made sure to put my gendr down as FEMALE, right mom? right? you KNOW that im relay a girl and not a boy, i just was born one! u put me as a male cause it said sex? MOM. Make sure they understand. and i wont eat disgusting western hosptial food. makes ure to bring me my tea and i want SHIN RAMYUN not DISGUSTIng, unhealhy WESTRN AMEIRCAN fuckin food!

God. and dont lok at my computer but bring it. and i odnt want the doctor and nurse in here al the time tel them not to lok me in the yes when they talk to me. i cnt belive i have to be in this DUMB hospital. mom? dont touch anything in my rom okay?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344219

/slowclap

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344219
I liked it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344219

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344219

Actually, sweetie, we have something important to tell you. Since you aren't on our insurance anymore, none of this was covered. We're going to have to pay for this out of pocket-but, see, me and your father can't afford it. And we really have too many bills-you're going to have to take care of it on your own. The total cost is about 70,000 dollars-you'll have to get into a payment plan with them. And-Honey, you've been speaking very frankly in front of the nurses, despite the fact that you claim to have such extreme social anxiety that you need to be on disability. I heard the nurse talking about fraud, too-Honey, I'm scared for you, but, there's really nothing we can do for you...you can still live at home, if you're not...heaven forbid, imprisoned, but you'll need to get a job after you've healed and all. The doctor says you'll make a full recovery, so you're not going to qualify for disability again, either.
Yes, hon, I know it's an entitlement program, and the whole supreme court ruling, but see, fraud is still illegal. I'm afraid you're probably in a lot of trouble-but you can come back home if you-you know, go to prison-and live with us while you work as a cook, or a cashier, or a dishwasher or whatever. You can stay with mom and dad until you pay off your debt to the hospital.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344256
Replace hospital bills with student loans and that's me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344256
> And we really have too many bills-you're going to have to take care of it on your own.

What a fucking cunt.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344256

I know this is all very rough and sudden and it will be hard for us all-but, look on the bright side! This is just what you need to grow up! You'll finally become a real, working adult, sweetie! And thank God you weren't permanently injured!

Your father looks especially happy-but don't worry, he's only happy because this means you can develop as a member of society now. He's not happy that you might be going to jail, and that we won't have to deal with you for several years.

I bet you wished you hadn't decided to play with butt with that plunger, huh, sweetie? One day we'll all have a good laugh about this!

[Anonymous No.]

So guys I just checked my bank account and instead of £0.37 I have about £150 for some reason.

What should I do? I haven't seen this much money in years.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344282
Fuck them.
It's the responsibility of the parents to care for the child until the child leaves on their own.

[Anonymous No.]

It would be better if it made some sense.

[Anonymous No.]

-For the first time in the /jp/ers short-but-too-long life, he knew true fear, and the cold, harsh realities of the world that he had hidden and truncated with a fantasy realm. As he watched his mother try to hide her smile, and heard his father chuckle and laugh excitedly while clutching his mother, he felt his body grow cold-despite the opiates coursing through his body, he felt nothing but displeasure and a sense of complete abandonment. He opened his trembling lips, and felt his eyes tingle-he hadn't cried in years. But now he did. His tears streamed down his face, as his mother chewed on her bottom lip, and his father howled in laughter. Truly, he hated them both for having melded their DNA and producing him. Truly, the /jp/er had lost at life. Truly, the /jp/er hated it all. He hates it. He hates it. He hates it.-

A few months later, the /jp/er was tried for fraud and found guilty. He killed himself by shoving the plunger by the toilet in his cell into his anus and snapping it, bleeding to death on the bottom bunk as he cursed his mother and father. He left a single folded piece of paper taped to his chest as a suicide note that the warden found the next day, and gave to his parents. As instructed by the front of the paper, they opened it once they were alone.

"fuck u mom and dad"

The End.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344303
tell that to a lion, or a poor family

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344333

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344333

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344378
Yeah.
Parents are dicks.

[Anonymous No.]

I hope you all learned a very important lesson today, /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344333

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344382
This.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344378
Please do not insult my intelligence.

[Anonymous No.]

>mfw my mother is severely physically disabled and i'm her primary caregiver

Neet 4 lyfe

[Anonymous No.]

I want to celebrate Hinagiku's birthday with her

[Anonymous No.]

My asshole isn't gaping it is nice and tight.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344424

That's fucking depressing.

[Anonymous No.]

this thread is still better than the usual shit on /jp/

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344437

How so? More freedom, I can live how I wish and no one tells me "hurr u need a job" because I take of my mother as my exchange, and not even my other family can talk shit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344447

Because your mother is severely physically disabled, you autistic shitbag.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344455
disable this
*grabs dick*

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344455
Does it really matter if she enjoyee her lifetime ?

Nice dubs btw.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344455
>le face when this nerd got his jimmies RUSTLED

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344455

Everyone's happy here, physical disability is absolutely nothing compared to mental ones.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344466

Imagine being paralyzed and the person who takes care of you is one of these autistic, disgusting faggots who just happens to share DNA with you.

Would ENJOYEE ENJOYEE your lifetime if that were the case? He probably mentally abuses his mother by making her watch him play VN and 2hu games instead of feeding her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344477
turn your dubs script off pls moot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344477
Have you ever heard about ``talking''?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344483
I see that you too, shitpost by replying seriously.

Will you be my shitpost friend ?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344494
おｋ

[Anonymous No.]

Truly, this thread is the essence of /jp/

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344505
Translate this shit, weaboo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344513

It says "Faggot-ass"

[Anonymous No.]

I'm not sure what the lesson here is.

Either way, thank you for the story. I enjoyed it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344532

The moral of the story is to always believe in yourself; because you're going to die anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344544
#YOLO

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344532
The moral is "Life is hard, and then you die."

[Anonymous No.]

>>9343601

My dad pissed in bottles for years as a trucker. He turned out great.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344579

Ricky, would you tell Ray to stop throwing piss jugs all over kitty land? Who's gonna want to take their fluffy little kitty to some fucking piss-jug filled trailer park?

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344597

Bubbles I can't control my dad.
Just get fucking Lahey to pick that shit up.

[Anonymous No.]

Best thread on /jp/. STICKY THIS SHIT

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344579
>>9344597
>>9344609

I just realized that Sunnyvale trailer park is the most logical analogy for /jp/, and that Lahey is the closest thing to NSJ we'll ever see in fiction.

[Anonymous No.]

>>9344006
Who fucking gives a fuck?

[Anonymous No.]

I should write a story like this about Trevor.

Fishheadswag: His Life and Death and Life and Death and Life as a GIRL and Death and Life.

Readers will probably be pretty bored by the time he kills himself for the third time.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm not sure if it's the intended result, but I always get fully erect from mean posts that are accompanied by pictures of cute 2D girls. Ahh, I wanna be bullied by these girls.