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"Sure, I'll take you to Gensokyo; On two conditions:One, you work for me, for free, i'll give you a place to stay and food if we ever find it, but other than that you're on your own for anything else you want.Two, if you so much as touch a Youkai, you're getting sent back on the spot."Would you be Reimu's bitch to live in Gensokyo?
great work on the thread, mate. the touhou picture is a great touch.
>>9193406Yeah that's fine, Marisa is the sexiest so I'd just touch her
It's limited to Youkai, right? That's fine by me. But what if a Youkai touches me?
no because reimu is a bitch
>>9193418>if you so much as touch a YoukaiLooks like it's alright if it's the other way around.
>... a Youkai...Can I touch them non sexually?Can I fuck other humans?The fairies aren't considered Youkais?Can I rape the maids?If two of the above questions are yes, I'll go. Because whats the point to getting to Gensokyo if you can't have fun?
there are plenty of non youkai touhous to fug
>>9193429>Can I touch them non sexually?No>Can I fuck other humans?Yes>The fairies aren't considered Youkais?They aren't>Can I rape the maids?That's on you
no...i'm not going to be anyone's bitch anymore!
What work would she have for you? Sweeping? Making tea? Buying supplies in town? Beyond that, there's nothing else the average non-magical anon would be capable of doing. Anon would finally become the meido s/he has always wanted to be!
>>9193437Your job is to get people to put money into the donation box.
No.I'd reign in hell than to serve in heaven.
If I work for her long enough and train myself in the magics and danmaku...Could I challenge her to a match? If I win maybe she loosens up the rules.
>>9193438I think prostitution asking a little much...
Reimu a shit
>>9193432Definitely, I'll go. I'll grab my necessary stuff...Also this scenario is really fitting for a Sim dating RPG (or a VN if you want to be deeper).
>>9193432>Can I fuck other humans?YesThere are many human(lolis) in Gensokyo.. Rikako Asakura Meira Rika Kotohime Marisa Kirisame Fujiwara no Mokou Sanae Kochiya (perhaps, is closer to be a god) Sakuya Izayoi Youmu Konpaku (half human, so.. half fuck(?).) Hieda no Akyuu (actually she have 18, she's legal.)And (you) Reimu.
>>9193449>>9193449>Challenging Reimu to a danmaku battle.You have to self-teach yourself how to fly too, but sure, if you beat her in a duel you are free to do what you want so long as you keep working at the shrine.
>>9193449This. I'll train in magic and wait and watch for her to be at her weakest at which point I will fight her and take her powers. Or kick her in the cunt so hard that she loses her powers.
>>9193440so edgyhammerfall sucks
>>9193460I know about other Gensokyo humans, I think I'll go for Rikako.We are going to talk about Rockets, if you know what I mean
>>9193460Do moon people count as youkai?
>>9193460>>9193473Don't forget you'll probably be expected to be available at the shrine near 24/7.
As fun as it is thinking about banging supernatural creatures in female form, I think realistically that's a pretty sweet deal for me.Just clean shit for a few hours and I'd get to spend the rest of the day sleeping or something. Living the dream.
>>9193492>clean shit for a few hoursdealbreaker
>>9193481Don't worry ma'am I will stay alert. I can always invite them to visit the shrine.
>Chance to live in a literal fantasy land.>Only condition is you have to get a job and not be a raging horny faggot.>People saying no.
>>9193519Live in the shrine and can't touch Suika ?No thanks. I can't handle that.
>>9193519who are you quoting m8?
>>9193542You can't touch her, but OP never said anything about her getting drunk and touching you
Who has the power to prevent her from sending me back? All I'd have to do is become good enough friends with that person so that they don't let Reimu send me off.
>>9193559If you just generally become well-liked all around the human village, they might convince her.
Seems like a great deal to me, I would spend all my free time trying to court Sakuya and if that fails, rape, then probably be killed.
>>9193552"Technically" all Japanese mythical creatures are Youkais, so if Reimu doesn't say she was referring at only the creatures marked simply as Youkais (like Alice, Yukari, Meiling) because they are not a a race of Youkais, whe should ask first.
>>9193591The question is who's side would she be on in the matter of banishing someone? She seems like the type that would banish you no matter how much she liked you if it's the right thing to do.
>>9193406The one I want to touch is you Reimu-chanIs Koishi a yokai?
>>9193602I remember reading somewhere that, say, yamas, fairies and onis are not youkais.Citation needed, I guess.
OkayYou didn't say anything about touching Reimu.I HAVE MY NEEDS.
i WOULD accept the deal, but satori ;___; i want my dear satori
>>9193602Pretty much everyone who isn't a fairy or a human is a Youkai.>>9193607>Is Koishi a yokai?Yes
>>9193623She could read your mind and know your predicament.
>>9193614Well, Fairies aren't really Japanese myths, at least the Touhou ones. A Yama obviously isn't a Youkai because she's something superior and almost godly. About onis, I can't say anything clear.
>>9193628Don't forget the gods.
>>9193406Can I touch Reimu?Does she like turbonerd?
>>9193646> A Yama obviously isn't a Youkai because she's something superior and almost godly.Is Ran youkai then? She is somehow divine creature too.Also hermits and ghosts are not youkai too, afaik. Ghosts are just... you know, souls of the dead people.So we can fuck Youmu and Yuyu all the way we want.
What if I become a youkai? Then what?
>>9193677No more masturbating.
>>9193677You will have to stop touching yourself at night
>>9193679But at that point she really can't just kick me out, can she? I mean, that wouldn't work out at all for me. Maybe I could just go out on my own?
>>9193668Ran is a shikigami. So, she can't really be considered neither youkai, human or fairy, but 'supernatural'.but race classification would be ghost iirc
>>9193668and Murasa and Prismriver sisters tooWe're trying to expand our list but Reimu doesn't ever listen to reason.
>>9193721>>9193711>>9193668Love it or leave it.
>>9193711>Ran is a shikigami. Shikigami is a class, not a race.Ran is a nine-tailed fox. And they are quite divine.But oh well. I am not really sure myself. Zun only knows how it works in the Gensokyo.
>>9193732Shut up and be quiet for a second, we are trying to talk here.
>>9193431You know....you're fucking wrong.
Reimu is probably regretting not letting the youkai just eat you right about now.
>>9193736She's controlled by Yukari, who is more of a Youkai than anyone else in Gensokyo. Ran is corrupted.
>>9193748Improbable. Reimu secretly likes me and also in dire need of a helping hand. Why would she call me to the Gensokyo otherwise...>>9193755Hnnng'd.
Sure, Tenshi isn't a Youkai.
>>9193766This. Also Iku.
>>9193779Iku is a fish
>>9193779Iku is an oarfish youkai.
>>9193779>>9193782Iku is a fish-youkai if I remember correctly.
>>9193792>>9193790>>9193782yeah but can i fuk it
>>9193782>>9193790>>9193792I hate you guys. But whatever, we have the whole Heavens of a cute girls at our disposal.
Easy.Humans are really powerful in Genskoyo right? Marisa and Reimu being the two obvious examples. The best course of action is to just start an incident.
>>9193836marisa and reimu are exceptional humanseveryone in the human village is weak
>>9193825>My heavenly maidens>Tenshi's harem of heavenly maidensMake this fanon
>>9193842>everyone in the human village is weakAverage Gensokyo human is much stronger than average Gensokyo youkai.Welcome to the canon.
>>9193860that might be so, but they still don't stand a chance against a youkai as weak as rumia
>>9193864>but they still don't stand a chance against a youkai as weak as rumiaCitation needed?
>>9193874she eats humansthat must mean they are not too strong for her to eat
The level of discussion in this thread is ridiculously awful.
>>9193881> she eats humansWhatever you say then.
>>9193884at least it's not shitposting
>>9193881With a youkai of Rumia's level I would say it would depend on the human. Only shitty humans get caught by shitty youkai.
>>9193895>Only shitty humans get caught by shitty youkai>/jp/
>>9193902Well then, that's just motivation for you to train harder in the off chance that you happen to come face to face with a shitty monster one day!
>>9193881>she eats humansIn her little wet dreams, yeah. Youkai don't eat human nowaday, sorry to dissapoint.
>>9193881>she eats humansIn her little dirty dreams, yeah. Youkai don't eat any humans nowadays, sorry to dissapoint.That is what danmaku and spellcards was invented for.
>>9193884>Discussion, in my /jp/?
>>9193607She is a satori. Thing that is specifically called 'satori' in her ID is of japanese nationality. Yes she is a yokai.I think you can mark everyone non-human as yokai just to be safe, and then simply ask if by local tables they classify as yokai.You see, it's a very prejudiced system. Reimu can say that anyone who is not human is a yokai, and thus prevent her labourer from drifting away.
>>9193948If you have any questions, Reimu will answer them for you of course. She's your employer.
>>9193930I don't think every single youkai is on the danmaku bandwagon, I'm sure there are ones who ambush and eat humans. It is a delicacy to them, and there are some humans who would be too weak to fight them off if they were caught off guard.Rumia probably eats the recently dead. She's more of a scavenger than a hunter.
I'd be happy to do all of her work for her as long as she puts "executive" in front of my title.
>>9193948>it's a very prejudiced systemYou either live in a fantasy realm full of cute girls, or you drift off into the nether.This isn't a very hard decision to make.
Can I use danmaku?
So the whole point of this thread is Reimu wanting to have a personal /jp/ Maid (or Butlers if you prefer) Team. Right?
>>9194084/jp/ finally gets to live their dream of being meido
>>9193962>Rumia probably eats the recently dead. She's more of a scavenger than a hunter.そーなのかー
>>9194098you have to be really not suited for living if you can't escape from her. If you got caught by her, it's just cleaning the gene pool of weak and dumb one.
>>9194105>you have to be really not suited for living if you can't escape from her.Which board do you think you're on? It's filled with people physiologically and psychologically unsuited for living.
>>9194119If you stuck around with reimu long enough just for the relative safety, you could probably train hard enough to take on the stage one bosses.
>>9193646Vampires are not Japanese myths either so there are 2 more to fuck.
Despite the fact that there are, like, bare minimum of males worthy of being called men, I still don't think that touhous, even non-yokai, will be be attracted to me. Despite the fact that I'm from advanced outworld, I have a high education and may be willing to stay.
Keine is like a were-youkai, right? So I just can't touch her when she transforms.
I wonder if it's okay for me to court Keine? She is a half-yokai and a schoolmarm. And I have education but really dislike kids. The only ones I will tolerate are be mine. So I can talk with someone who is not on the level of a goddamn hillbilly, but have to deal with kids...
>>9194423She's half-youkai afaik. Just like, say, Rinnosuke.
>>9194431Keine is a Were-hakutakuRinnosuke is a Human/Youkai half-breedI say Keine is fair game.Also Youmu is a Half-human half-yuurei, and Myon is pretty much her ghost half, right? So really we can still touch Youmu as well.
>>9194475>Myon is pretty much her ghost half, right?If by pretty much you mean definitely, then yes.
>>9194475"Keine fits the description in Perfect Memento in Strict Sense of one who acquired therianthropy, rather than one who was born with it. Her transformation into a were-hakutaku is not a full body-transformation, which she points out to Yukari in Imperishable Night, whereas one who is born as a were-beast takes on a full body beast form during a full moon. If this is the case, it would mean Keine was once human but cursed to be a were-hakutaku."Cursed human is still a human. Reimu can't stop me from loving my sweet schoolmarm waifu.
>>9194475Putting aside canon for a moment, this image.Half-Youkai + Were-Hakutaku.Would this make Tokiko a were-quarter-youkai?I'm trying to think of all the ways this would work.No wait lets keep going, Keine + Youmu.. Were-quarter-ghost?What if the normal form was a tiny insignificant spirit (the quarter) and on a full moon she transformed in a full beautiful woman... Or the other way around and she was a powerful specter and on full moons she turns into a helpless loli.I think I might need to seed this idea into /tg/.
>>9194507Does that mean that she was bitten by hakutaku? If she was a mongrel she would transform fully, right? Fur and four legged posture, right? If she was pureblood she would don horns and tail all the time like under full moon, right?And since she is only cursed she transforms into a sophisticated form of hakutaku at full moon, the one that would be human form for a pureblood, right?
Ultimately, there are at least a few methods to become immortal in Gensokyo, which makes it too hard to say no. It is still a very dangerous fantasy land, which makes it also very hard to say yes.
Do the shrine duties involve helping the miko managing her sexual needs?This is very important.
>get to Gensokyo>murder Raymoo in her sleep>wear her skin, claim Vow of Silence>banish ghost and Suika>bring in the army>all those toehoes
If you look at it coldly, it's a boring fantasy land. It's a place where non-humans survive. They don't really have a lot of choices outside, so they cramped up in Gensoukyo. They don't have lots of entertainment aside from danmaku and alchoholism. I, for example, would feel way to narrow there. I need the feeling of a vast world around me, not understanding that it's just around that mountain and then some more and you start walking in circles.captcha: widow ragebar. It's some sort of subliminal message.
>>9194619>fantasy landYep.>very dangerous No. Also get out with your grimdark.
>>9194669So you would prefer it to be just boring as all shit? The situation as presented was entertaining, now it is just forced butler service for a while on a trade off of potential immortality, to which I would be a fool to refuse.
>>9194669Gensokyo *is* very dangerous. There are wild youkai (both humanoid and non-humanoid) who hunt humans. Human Village folk are safe, but the average Joe who got lost isn't.This is all canon, and if you want ``grimdark'' (as you put it) canon, read the story that came with Dolls in Pseudo Paradise.Again I ask: HAS ANYONE ON /jp/ EVEN PLAYED THE GAMES OR READ THE OFFICIAL MATERIALS? FUCK.
>>9194669>Also get out with your grimdark.YOU get out, secondary.
>>9194737It's dangerous in the sense that a natural reserve is dangerous. Which is to say, not much, really. Just don't do some dumb shit like trying to pet this cute little (bear cub/flying girl) that's been playing around near you.
>>9194765But if you do not do that ``dumb shit'' it is not very fun.
as long as theres no danger to me, and a reasonable expectation that i wont starve to death or have to eat poison mushrooms, then i dont really care. especially if reimu will play with me in lots of wayscapcha: flesh nvo with
>>9194737Hey, even those who've played the games can sometimes not be qualified to answer anything about the lore, some just skip through the text for the danmakus.
>>9194737Wasn't that the one that was redacted and changed?I've been working my way through the materials lately, and for the most part it really is quite lighthearted. Most of the more serious stuff was in the early days, it seems.
Two questions:1. Do I get free time at all during the day? As in, time that I get to spend (near the shrine of course) for myself?2. I know youkais hunt humans, so could the rule that youkais don't fuck with the Miko be extended to protect me?If both questions are yes, Then I'm packing my bags.
Wasn't danmaku invented to give the weak a chance at surviving a youkai attack?
Can I touch you, Reimu?
Sure. I can also fake ignorance enough to get away with asking Reimu about any borderline youkai as long as it looks human.
We've all missed something very important:Goddesses are not youkai. Add to the list:Kanako YasakaSuwako MoriyaMinoriko AkiShizuha AkiHina KagiyamaShinkiKonngara Fuck you Reimu, I'm going to live at the Moriya Shrine.
>>9194648I'm still waiting for an answer to this question. If the deal involves Reimu lazily lounging at her kotatsu and telling me to get over there and pleasure her with my mouth, I'd have everything I want out of life. Especially if she has a smelly, unwashed futadick.
>>9194992Hina is a youkai. Confirmed by both Reimu in MoF and Akyuu's SoPM.
May I touch Rinnosuke?
>>9195079Interesting."The reason she gathers misfortune is because the misfortune become her power. The negative energy of the misfortune is her fuel source.Although plague gods are called gods, they do not seek faith. They are not like normal gods, but a kind of youkai."But then what really makes a goddess? You pray at Moriya Shrine and Kanako will throw you some luck in exchange for the attention and faith you provide her. Kanako feeds off the faith. But you "cast off" misfortune and Hina gathers it up, which she feeds off of. Its still basically energy.If anything, Hina is just a non-traditional goddess. Youkai is such a ridiculous umbrella term that putting her in the same category as Yukari rather than Kanako is too skewed.
>>9195211Rinnosuke is a bit of commodity to the Girls-In-Gensokyo-Who-Need-Dickings marketplace. If a guy tried to take up his time, it would be twice the insult to them.
>>9195245To be fair, there is no guarantee someone from here would be on-market. Possible loyalties to their favorite and all.
>>9195259True, but the fact that its another guy is pretty harsh. Its like starving while standing in line for food, but there is some fat guy in front of you. You aren't quite hungry enough to resort to cannibalism and eat him, but the fact that he is going to eat your food is infuriating. "This is how women work."
>>9195278When you put it that way it makes me want to hit on him, and I am not even gay.
Can I touch Reimu?
It can't be that bad. Some of Touhous are human and chatting with Youkai isn't forbidden.
>>9195286Well Rinnosuke IS the most refined of tastes. That's why Kourindou has such poor sales; the girls are all there to purchase a pounding but he doesn't have the sense to charge for it.Also the store merchandise is junk.
I'm not quite ready to make a permanent leave of this world. How about a compromise? I'll go to Gensokyo on those conditions, but every season, we alternate worlds. For example, in Spring I go to Gensokyo and be Reimu's servant. Then in Summer we come to the outside world and she acts as my servant.Does she even have interest in coming here? Fuck it, how about some kind of Gensokyo-Outside world exchange program? They send over a few dozen fairies and we send over a few dozen black people. Then after a few years if everyone is comfortable, we'll exchange more residents.
>>9195334We can't allow niggers to taint Gensokyo
>>9195334I think I remember THP having a story about a sort of "soft landing" exchange program for introducing 2hus into the world. It wasn't bad.Heh, for some reason I keep thinking about Yukari with some cards saying "I'll trade you one ice fairy for 2 human children."
>>9195347I want an ice fairy;_;
>>9195316And obviously I agree!
>>9195334Fuck off, Jew.
>>9195367Trade me 2 children and you've got a deal.
>>9195382Hey, I didn't even mention the part where after years of building positive relations we start a trading route with them and over time, create corporations based on selling technology to them and buying magic stuff from them. I'm only making the world a better place.
>>9195388Do they have to be mine? Can I just tell you where some are and you can get them?
>>9195405I think you have to actually get them and hand them off, though whether they have to be ``yours'' seems to be up to you.
>>9195404You can't do that when they're all niggerfied.
>>9195382But tha weetha can get so cold and it could blister my hands and give me SUCH a headache.Also does Reimu get to keep ALL the money in the donation box? If I'm working so hard maybe she could give me a cut so I could afford a nice nosh once in a while. Is that so much to ask?
>>9195382But tha weetha can get so cold and it could blister my hands and give me SUCH a headache.Also does Reimu get to keep ALL the money in the donation box? If I'm working so hard maybe she could give me a cut so I could afford a nice nosh once in a while. Is that so much to ask??
>>9195388I know lots of kids you can have deal!!Anything I should know about feeding and care of retarded ice fairies?
Reimu doesn't want me touching any of the other girls because she obviously wants to keep me all to herself. I see through her little scheme.Oh Reimu you little rascal you.
>>9195405You just have to deliver them. Karma and kidnapping charges yours to deal with.>>9195425Don't let them near valuables, don't overheat them, beware of frostbite, feed daily. The usual.
>>9195438How many kids do I have to give you for you to take me back to Gensokyo with you?
>>9195334Yukari won't allow this. That jealous bitch wouldn't want touhous realizing what a stagnant bore-dome Gensoukyo is and how much funnier the life on the outside is.
>>9195444That is quite a different request than the other anon, so I expect a completely different favor.
All I need is Reimu.
>>9195463Why would I want to receive more adults as the payment for receiving a man child? No, there really isn't much of an exchange there.You'd probably have to offer up a small town for the youkai to consume as payment for your admission to Gensokyo. Then clean up the mess.
>>9195477That will be a bitch of a task, anon. You better work out how to keep the military occupied. Get rich and start funding terrorists.
>>9195484If Breivik didn't succeed after years of planning, how can we expect this anon to succeed?
>>9195494If he is American, there are small towns here and enough freedoms to do this if he has the money. Unfortunately this seems to be for one ticket so how he will get assistance I am unsure.
>>9195500I would help him, even if I don't get a ticket. Just for the fun of it. But he has to make sure the town has a lot of unwanted immigrants, or else I wouldn't feel satisfied.
>>9195500If he is american, there are plenty of ghost towns with population zero. She never said what kind of town she wanted to consume and in what way to consume.Besides her photos are getting more and more ugly with each shot.
>>9195494But Breivik did succeed.
>>9195521>Besides her photos are getting more and more ugly with each shotOh no you didn't
>>9195526He was also a jew and his efforts were bastardized and repainted by the media to advance Israeli plots.
>>9195532You don't speak about Breivik (PBUH) like that.
>>9195526But he's not in Gensokyo.
>>9195531Yes I did nigger. Come at me, I'll take all of you weaklings on.
>>9195477So basically I just need to hold a small town or village hostage and you send in a youkai to devourer it all and we're outta there?That's easy enough, there are allot of relatively isolated villages about that people wouldn't notice went missing for a few days. I am assuming this youkai would be capable of holding her own against a bunch of farmers and peasant of course.
reimu does not have the power to take you to gensokyo
>>9195589Almost all touhous will despise you for this action when you get there. You won't get your dreams when you get there.
>>9195619Then I'll kill every single touhou for ruining my dream.
>>9195628You've as much power to do that as kill Obama.
>>9195632What's killing one coon president gonna do?Guns beat everything a youkai can throw at you. ZUN agreed, don't bother him.
>>9195619My dream? My dream is to experience a bit of excitement and fantasy then hopefully die before it gets too boring.I think it'll work out just fine.
>>9195632Actually, it sounds distinctly easier. Especially for the aftermath; if you kill all the touhous nobody left to give you shit for it but if you kill Obama you are fucked.
>>9195644If you killed all of them wouldn't Gensokyo sorta collapse? With you in it and no way out.You're still fucked.
Obama is a youkai
>>9195659The barrier would collapse, but what would happen to the area itself, or paricularly you, is anyone's guess. I would assume you either hang out with Kagua and Mokou, or try to avoid them forever. Unless you forgot to try and gain immortality.
>>9195672Immortality is a nightmare, with my mentality I'd be utterly insane within a century or two. No way would I want that.
why yukari sealed gensokyo ?
>>9195692>Immortality is a nightmareI still can not agree with this. It would be wonderful. But that is entirely up to you. Become a lich then, and break your phylactory.
i can still go for the best touhou, she's a vampire after all
I don't need to touch her to admire and masturbate to best armpits.
>>9195718>>9195692Immortality would be an exceptional experiment to test how much memory a human brain can actually contain. you'll slowly forget things to make new free space? you'll become crazy? maybe the data saving power of a brain immune to age decadence is really infinite?also, vampire>lich, faggot
>>9195798Also possible, but if he kills every touhou nobody can turn him into a vampire, but he can still look through libraries to learn magic and make a phylactory. He does not seem spiritual enough for Divine magic and even then most of the time gods do not favor vampires. Possible exception in Pelor the Burning Hate.
>>9195798Assuming memories are stored physically, which is highly likely, your brain would simply grow larger over time.
>>9195816You're right, but vampires and other youkais doesn't exist only in gensokyo. also, if I remember well in the second edition there was a method to become vampire with a magic ritual involving some demon or extraplanar lord. gods doesn't favor undeads generally, because becoming one is the easymodo cheat of mortals to start the rise to godhood. see Vecna for example.
>>9195877Vecna is pretty awesome. Hell if you can get something to barter with him you get furthr than probably any other god. God of secrets and all, pretty sweet gig.
>>9195821That's unlikely, as immortality or undeadness are a form of stasis
>>9195638>Guns beat everything a youkai can throw at you. ZUN agreed, don't bother him.No, he didn't.
>>9195900That's a paradox. You can't be static and alive at the same time.
>>9195638>>9195904He said something along the lines of "technology is more effective than magic" this doesn't means that you can go to the netherworld and go back with an apposite Android app, but that if that app existed, it would be easier to use than the magic book used for the same goal.
Every time I reply to thread like this one I have hope that this time maybe for once if I agree it will really work I will be allowed to Gensokyo. It feels really sad.
>>9195951Well, that's why immortality doesn't exist.magic makes compromises between paradoxes to bend reality.
>>9195993me too.my life sucks, is wanting to live in a magic and simple world really that much?
>>9195993I want to go too ;_;. Maybe someday we'll get to. Someday...
>>9196631not by placing your faith in reimu you won't.