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8967074 No.8967074 [Reply] [Original]

One thing I've known about Japan for a long time is that they have arranged marriages. (I learned this from an episode of Happy Days back in the 70s, don't ask.) While I assumed this meant stern parents who decided who their children would marry based on their own whims, in reality omiai (lit. "looking at one another") is essentially a structured formal meeting between two people (and sometimes their families) to explore the possibility of getting married. While the majority of Japanese couples have adopted the strange Western tradition of renai kekkon or marriage for love, omiai is still surprisingly common.

Would you want an omiai marriage?

>> No.8967078

Only if shes a yandare and can cook like a pro.

>> No.8967081

It's superior to the western ideas of finding your one true love and free love bullshit. Crush liberalism.

>> No.8967084

I wouldn't want to get married period. I can hardly take care of myself, why would I want to be responsible for someone else?

Also, >love

>> No.8967293
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8967293

Marriage is shit in any circumstances.

>>8967084
> I can hardly take care of myself, why would I want to be responsible for someone else?
This is what I seriously respond when they ask me why didn't I get married yet.

>> No.8967306

>>8967074
>hurr durrr i am a nerd i don't have balls.

>> No.8967302

i thought Arranged marriages were a political and business thing

>> No.8967317

Well, would you rather the child of a family that is well structured and interested in raising you well so that you'll strengthen the family lineage, or be the child of two idiots that got drunk at a party and got married a few months later out of obligation?

>> No.8967318

>>8967317
That's a false dichotomy.

>> No.8967324

If she's physically attractive and likeable, yes.

Out of curiosity, do these sort of marriages cause many troubles or divorces? Obviously in the West we have a big problem with the fuck-marry-argue-fight-divorce cycle.

>> No.8967326

>>8967317
Well the former couple doesn't love and will probably cheat on each other and have problems, while the latter are more responsible than even a lot of non-drunkard people just by deciding to actually get married and raise their child, so probably the second.

>> No.8967328
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8967328

>omiai is still surprisingly common.

It was popular pre-shouwa period (i.e., 1989), maybe? Now, at least, it'll be virtually non-existent. In fact, I've never really seen arranged marriages in anything other than Ozu films, and I demand a source for this.

>> No.8967331

>>8967324
Divorce is shameful and a reason for suicide.

>> No.8967338

>>8967328
http://www.peterpayne.net/2012/05/all-about-omai-and-arranged-marriages.html

>> No.8967346

>>8967338
Get out, J-List devs.

>> No.8967348

>>8967326
>Well the former couple doesn't love
So? Why is it so important that ``love'' be a part of marriage?
We would probably have a lot more rational children and a lot less of... well, what we have now if people thought of marriage as a long term investment instead of something done on a whim because ``love is the most important thing''.

>> No.8967370

>>8967338
The National Institute of Population and Social Security Research in 2005 estimates that 6.2% of marriages in Japan are arranged

search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/nn20091103i1.html

Fair enough for providing the source, but I think that 6.2% is anything but 'common'. It probably will have declined even more now, and we can't be sure that these arranged marriages weren't already based on some sort of love.

The concept seems moronic, in any case. I've heard of lethargy and lack of confidence, but this is ridiculous. Doesn't /jp/ even want to choose their waifus? Can you really be that pathetic?

>> No.8967406

>>8967348
Why should I live with someone I don't give a fuck about? Just because my mommy wants a grandchild?

>> No.8967452

I laugh at all the idiocy within this thread.

Here's something funny, and also a statistic (look it up fuckers) Arranged marriage couples are normally more happy than those who "found" each other. The reason for this is pretty fucking obvious. the two main reasons being

1.Both of these people generally come from successful families, OR the families arranged it themselves, so there will be no cross-family turmoil.
2. You know how when we decide to marry someone, we do so after a long time of learning everything about that person? THAT IS THE SINGLE MOST STUPID FUCKING THING EVER. Know the main reason most people get divorced? They're fucking bored of eachother. Know why? BECAUSE YOU KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM BEFORE GETTING MARRIED ASSHAT. Sure, you can still do new things together, but its the same person you've known for-fucking-ever.

Marriage in general is shit, but arranged is better. Funny, huh?

capcha: caulking ousestm

>> No.8967463

>>8967452
Nobody gives a shit about what you think.

>> No.8967473

>>8967452
>>8967452

Oh right, this of course, assumes neither of you is married to a fat fuck and/or asshole.

If they commit to making it work, and aren't fucking idiots, its not bad.

>>8967463
>>8967463
This is what I have gotten from previous discussions on the topic, looking up information, and this thing called "proof"

it has nothing to do with "what I think" dipshit. nobody cares about what you think, either. its an anonymous website.

Thank you for saging, though, you aren't contributing shit.

>> No.8967471

>>8967463
I do.

>> No.8967491

>>8967473
>>8967452
Holy hell, why are you so upset?

>> No.8967498

>>8967491

Oh, sorry, I'm cursing a lot for some reason. I actually have no idea why, either.

Maybe I'm being "matter of fact" to get my point across? Who knows. I'll clean up my act.

>> No.8967496

>>8967452

Trufe. All of it.

Love is a pretty silly abstraction when you think about it anyhow.

>> No.8967500
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8967500

>>8967348
Investment in what?

>> No.8967539

Hello, I would just like to say that all those cultures where “free love” wasn’t proper and had arranged marriages also had stories romanticising love.
Like the Butterfly Lovers in China.
I’m not sure what my point was going to be but I think it was that even in cultures where arranged marriages are seen as better than choosing your partner, there is the idea of love so it’s not like love is some stupid modern invention.

>> No.8967546

No way. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and cop to some ship, guys.

I have been married... Twice. It's pretty much the reason I became a shut-in and social recluse. Both the women cheated on me which, in addition to experiencing first hand all the disgusting things about women, led me to abandon 3D altogether, severing all friendships and ties to my former life and retreating to the comfort of solitude and my hobby life. That was 6 years ago.

Now, both of those relationships were formed under the pretense of "love". So if that is what love begets, then what kind of horrorshow would an arranged marriage create?

>> No.8967561

>>8967491
He has anal autism.

>> No.8967610

>>8967546
Don't make the mistake that most people make love isn't the same thing as the lust and hormonal cocktail you get when you're dating someone for a short period of time.
This lasts approximately 4 years, if you still want to be together after this period that is when you are in love.

So
>then what kind of horrorshow would an arranged marriage create?
Marrying for "love" is basically the same as marrying drunk, you are influenced by chemicals that make you almost incapable of thinking clearly about your partner.
Your parents aren't influenced by those hormones so when they are choosing a potential partner chances are high that their choice is going to be a lot better.

>> No.8968180

>>8967074
When you marry an Asian person (Chinese, Jap or Korean), you pretty much marry their family as well.
That being said, there's nothing wrong with exploring candidates suggested by your parents in addition to looking for ones yourself. The pressure can be a little annoying but at the same time it's not set in stone (i.e. a forced marriage). Having a good grasp of the credentials of the girl and her family is a pragmatic precaution that the parents will usually always uncover. Differences in wealth, education and family history will always collide especially given large disparities or once the honeymoon phase wears off. Unless you significantly disagree with what your parents believe an ideal wife to be, the personality screening side shouldn't be that bad either. Unless you were adopted and/or estranged for a long time, you should definitely have quite a few personality traits that resemble your parents and derived from these quite a few features of an 'ideal' partner that you should be able to agree on.

>> No.8968201
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8968201

Arranged marriage is boring.

Life is about having fun and doing what makes you feel happy. If you marry because of some "long-term investment" then you're doing it wrong.

Only think about today and never think about the future. Planning for the future is just a way to waste today.

>> No.8968205

>>8968201
>Only think about today and never think about the future.
Thank God there are people who don't and didn't think like you or else we'd be dead dozens of times over. Being short-sighted and impulsive are problems, not virtues.

>> No.8968223

>>8968205

>Thank God there are people who don't and didn't think like you or else we'd be dead dozens of times over.

Yeah, it's pretty good, isn't it? Other people can get caught up in their worries and waste away their life fretting about the future and the rest of us can just take it easy and enjoy each day as it comes.

Their sacrifice allows me to have fun.

>> No.8968244

>>8968223
Fair enough so long as you have some respect for them. For example, some men just want to see the world burn and nuking people is their idea of being impulsive and 'fun'. In turn, some other people have to constantly make sure that doesn't happen. Glad no /jp/er commanded those soviet subs with nuclear tipped torps operating independently during the Cuban crisis (one was armed and almost fired) or have their fingers on those triggers today.

>> No.8968929
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8968929

OBLIGATORY

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/12/opinion/sunday/marriage-suits-educated-women.html?_r=1&sq=men%
20marriage&st=Search&scp=2&pagewanted=all

>> No.8968988

>>8968929
They made this survey in 1939 and then waited 70 years to check how opinions changed?

>> No.8968994

>>8968988
You made that post at 21:27 and I waited 60 seconds to tell you how retarded you were?

>> No.8968990

"Arranged marriage" as such is as antiquated as village shit, caste or serfdom.

And even modern dating is for the fucking birds, sorry.

Use some speed dating scheme or stay at home. Nobody cares except the pope and your mom.

>> No.8969011

>back in the 70s
>trillions of years before life on earth
y u so old jp

>> No.8969028

>>8968994
When the new HTML gets rolled out you'll be able to see down to the very second how long it took you to call him retarded.

>> No.8969044

>>8969028
oh cool

>> No.8969351

>>8969028
I wonder how seconds added to post time will affect flanfly.

>> No.8969367

>>8969351
Would people will care if they're not at exactly 2:00:00?

>> No.8969410

>>8969367

I would. It's unsightly otherwise.

>> No.8969668

>emotional stability and dependable character ranked lower, after mutual attraction, love.

What is the logic in favoring sexual compatibility to mental health when entering a long term mutually beneficial contract that is hell to get out of if either partner wants to make it hard?

Does this make sense to anyone else?

>>
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