/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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Anonymous Mon Mar 19 02:57:52 2012 No.8725287 [Reply] [Original]

Depression thread.

Tonight's topic: You can't beat depression. It always wins.

I feel so very tired of everything. Sleeping is a nice reprieve from life, but it really bothers me that I always have to wake up eventually.

I think about killing myself more than is healthy, but when it comes down to it I just don't have the drive to do it. I barely have enough energy to post.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 03:03:23 2012 No.8725299 But we can't give you any energy, Anon. Try to meditate until you can reach a subconscious state of mind, so that it's like you're always asleep.

>>	/jp/ Quality Control !oZ70Zbj6Rg Mon Mar 19 03:06:20 2012 No.8725302 QUALITY THREAD

naitoknaito Mon Mar 19 03:06:21 2012 No.8725306
File: 151 KB, 600x600, 1319989968589.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

When was the last time someone patted your head and said that everything was going to be fine?
Some weeks ago I had an outburst in the middle of a class and had to leave, when class finished my professor did it and was surprisingly relieving, now I feel stupid about it because it made me feel like a little child but sometimes is better to ask for these simple things.

Or take double dose of prozac, whatever is easier.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 03:06:50 2012 No.8725305 How about you see a counselor? Give me one valid excuse that I wont shit on

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 03:07:21 2012 No.8725307 File: 96 KB, 486x418, Dark Knight.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8725302

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 03:07:50 2012 No.8725308 Not /jp/ related Chances of recovering from depression are nearly 100%. Depression doesn't always win.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 03:08:20 2012 No.8725313 File: 2 KB, 201x70, PortableQC.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] QC? . . .

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 03:08:50 2012 No.8725311 >>8725308 Look out everyone, we got an internet statistician here.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 03:09:51 2012 No.8725314 >>8725306 >When was the last time someone patted your head and said that everything was going to be fine A couple days ago when I almost died.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 03:13:50 2012 No.8725323 >>8725306 I don't remember ever being patted on my head in my life. I also don't own any silly hats. >>8725305 How will I pay for it? And where would I even go to see a counselor who wouldn't just laugh in my face?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 03:19:20 2012 No.8725332 >>8725287 Don't worry, you will get used to it after a few years.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:08:20 2012 No.8725448 I've come to the point where it is impossible for me to finish a game, VN, or anime. I just get bored about 1-2 hours in, and then quit.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:12:50 2012 No.8725451 depression is so easy to beat, you can take a hobbie, go on an adventure, exercise, drugs, alcohol etc...

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:16:20 2012 No.8725458 >>8725323 They aren't there to laugh at you. Most likely you'll be fine. I pay a 20 dollar co-pay for my therapy sessions, insurance helps with the rest.

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:17:50 2012 No.8725462

>>8725451
but you see that's just an escape tool. but it always comes back, and you have to try something new.
I have a paper due today, but I have no motive to finish it, even though it will fail my course if I don't.
I'm half expecting to fail this course anyway, and it'll just cost money to retake it, but still, wasted money.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:17:50 2012 No.8725463 >>8725287 take some shrooms and tell me if you are still depressed after that.

>>	naitoknaito Mon Mar 19 04:22:20 2012 No.8725473 >>8725463 Explain me how hallucinogens cure depression.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:31:52 2012 No.8725495 >>8725463 the very thought of taking hallucinogens terrifies me

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:45:22 2012 No.8725534

For me It started off to be just a light depression but now it just pains me to be alive. Being a shut-in for 9 years without outside influences and opinions has lead to some very unhealthy ways of thinking and processing emotions.

I haven't watched T.V in 2 years because whenever I do, any sort of happy or up-beat commercials brings tears to my eyes, I can't watch movies because I will just cry for no reason, whenever I think about my past even if its small insignificant moments I get choked up.
For those who say depression is overcome-able, its less likely than you think. Depression has drained every single bit of motivation and desire for happiness that I have. It's like something inside me says "No it won't work, it will never work, give up! You are beaten. You will be like this forever." and that's that.

Recently it's starting to worry me because I'm having thoughts that I've never had before. Extreme hatred and jealousy for those who are fortunate in life. Anyone in a better situation than me. I hate them, and it's a very intense hatred. It was never like this before.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:50:50 2012 No.8725552 >>8725473 It makes you aware of the beauty of everyday things. I'll never look at plants the same way.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:52:50 2012 No.8725556 >>8725534 take it easy, pick up something small that you 100% can do, get really good at it, move on from there. Also for the whole jealous thing, you can try appreciating things more, like internet, or a house.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:53:20 2012 No.8725558 >>8725552 drugs tend to stop working after you get use to them, and yet again, it's a bandage, not a cure.

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:54:21 2012 No.8725561

>>8725462
This. I tried getting a hobby...even have normalfag friends /jp/

Let me tell you...you spend 5-6 years as a shut in while everyone else was forming relationships, getting laid, and having awesome stories to tell...it kinda messes you up when you look back at the time wasted. And just talking to them...there's such a obvious disconnect in social ability. I sound and act like a complete retard to them...and I would be if it wasn't for having a crazy good memory and spending all my time just studying on wikipedia. Its even worse when people mess with you because they know you're weaker and don't want to do anything. Partly because you know you'll lose, partly because you don't hate them enough. Even as a "normalfag" at this point...I still feel like shit. Makes me wanna go to Gensokyo...I'll give it a shot if nothing changes from a spending few months at the gym.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:55:20 2012 No.8725565 I donno why are you still depressed. One guy i know killed himself due to depression. He is dead now, and i'm still alive.

>>	【スパーキー（④ ＾ヮ＾）】⚡ !FCr.DTJy2k!!54bDy3LQvy8 Mon Mar 19 04:56:21 2012 No.8725566 File: 202 KB, 594x841, %CRAZY1265761335707.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8725287 mine is soo bad it drives me to insanity!!!

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:57:20 2012 No.8725571 >>8725566 why do you act so stupid?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:57:50 2012 No.8725569 >>8725558 Sure, drugs are never the solution to curing any mental disease. However, psychedelics can do wonder things that persist long after their effects have worn off.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:57:50 2012 No.8725570 Why are there so many blog threads!?

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:58:50 2012 No.8725572

>>8725558
Agreed. Drugs are not a god idea if you're depressed and start taking them to "help" with it. They will help tremendously at first and you'll think you've found the miracle serum that makes you happy and makes your life seem less shitty, then you'll start relying on them and you'll start partaking in them regularly. But like any other substance your body will build a tolerance and once their effectiveness starts to dwindle you will feel worse off than you did before you started using them. I am speaking from experience of course. However, if you turn to less addictive drugs and can manage to take them until you start building a tolerance and then quit completely and allow your tolerance to decrease then you'd be in a pretty good place once you started the process all over again. Pot might be good for that.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 04:59:50 2012 No.8725575 >>8725566 Will you kill me please? I think I would be okay with it if it's someone like you.

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:01:50 2012 No.8725580

Well mine is kinda periodic, I'm always more depressed in the winter and early spring. Maybe it's related to the amount of sunshine I get.
But whenever I overcome these shitty state of mind, it seems like I get a little bit stronger.

Well see you in gensokyo anyway.

>>	【スパーキー（④ ＾ヮ＾）】⚡ !FCr.DTJy2k!!54bDy3LQvy8 Mon Mar 19 05:02:51 2012 No.8725581 File: 34 KB, 682x591, %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%1256162406716.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8725575

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:03:21 2012 No.8725583
File: 234 KB, 960x628, 2a3e4e96cc6d430fbd51689bdfe46a7c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I got so depressed a couple weeks ago that I drove a kitchen knife straight through my palm to see if I still feel.

Ended up in the emergency room and thousands in debt because I have no insurance. I'm fucking retarded.

>>	【スパーキー（④ ＾ヮ＾）】⚡ !FCr.DTJy2k!!54bDy3LQvy8 Mon Mar 19 05:03:21 2012 No.8725582 >>8725580 in nice boat region summer = winter

>>	【スパーキー（④ ＾ヮ＾）】⚡ !FCr.DTJy2k!!54bDy3LQvy8 Mon Mar 19 05:05:51 2012 No.8725586 >>8725583 nice image!!

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:05:51 2012 No.8725588 File: 29 KB, 349x642, 1265068642542.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8725582

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:06:20 2012 No.8725589 >>8725583 Did it hurt?

>>	【スパーキー（④ ＾ヮ＾）】⚡ !FCr.DTJy2k!!54bDy3LQvy8 Mon Mar 19 05:07:50 2012 No.8725594 >>8725589 i don't think so....

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:08:20 2012 No.8725597

>>8725556
I wish it were that easy but like I said, my depression prevents me from doing things like that. It's like a road block in my head that shuts off access to anything that isn't "negative"

I think pills are the only thing that could help me at this point. I'm beyond the help of a therapist.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:11:20 2012 No.8725601 >>8725597 have you tried? this might be that "impossible" block talking. Talking helps, and I mean you're talking with us aren't you? Why not talk to a professional who is qualified to give people advice?

>>	【スパーキー（④ ＾ヮ＾）】⚡ !FCr.DTJy2k!!54bDy3LQvy8 Mon Mar 19 05:13:50 2012 No.8725602 File: 367 KB, 1024x417, HACKER1324206177426.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8725597 yakui

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:16:51 2012 No.8725608 I, I guess I can share my porn account with you.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:18:20 2012 No.8725609 File: 3 KB, 201x250, 1231232131231.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:22:50 2012 No.8725615 >>8725534 Have you tried meeting with other people? Friends? Even strangers?

>>	【スパーキー（④ ＾ヮ＾）】⚡ !FCr.DTJy2k!!54bDy3LQvy8 Mon Mar 19 05:23:21 2012 No.8725617 File: 436 KB, 1024x768, 77444.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8725609 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdVp-b9yjjk

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:24:50 2012 No.8725618 Please condense your fake depression threads. >>8696620

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:26:20 2012 No.8725622

>>8725601
Maybe. I feel like if I went and talked to a professional it will be similar to what happens every other time I venture out of my house. I turn into a different person when in the eyes of the public and outsiders. Its like an out of body experience O
I'll say and do whatever seems normal, its a habit that has carried over into my adult life from my school years. At school I would try to fit in by acting like everyone else, even sometimes adopting personalities from other people but at home and by myself I would be a completely different person. Of course here it's different because I'm anonymous.

Maybe its schizophrenia, I don't even know anymore. Maybe I have a whole host of psychological issues.

>>	【スパーキー（④ ＾ヮ＾）】⚡ !FCr.DTJy2k!!54bDy3LQvy8 Mon Mar 19 05:26:50 2012 No.8725621 File: 1.01 MB, 1245x1193, CRAZYU1326623012655.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8725609 My shadow will chase you for all eternity wwww

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:28:20 2012 No.8725624 I successfully died last week but yet here I am still. God why do you punish me.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:29:50 2012 No.8725625 >>8725622 are you conscious about in your adaption state? if not, write it down now while you can, go get help, and tell them about it.

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:32:50 2012 No.8725627

>>8725615
As I said I've been completely alone for about 9 years now. The only real human interaction I have is with my parents and that's even a rare occurrence. My world is my bedroom and the internet and even then, I have no online friends. For me the most difficult part about making friends online is "breaking the ice" there have been people I talked to before but never regularly and they just seem uninterested in being "friends"

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:37:20 2012 No.8725635

I'm close to finishing my master's degree (in foreign languages, lol) in a pretty shitty country, and I've had health troubles that my parents have to pay for me. Basically all I feel is an absolutely useless sink of money with absolutely no value. I have hormonal problems and it's pretty clear I'm hysteric and overanxious because of them but I feel like shit and knowing I'll probably end up in a call center makes me fucking nauseous enough to throw up.

naitoknaito Mon Mar 19 05:42:21 2012 No.8725650

>>8725627
This may be part of your karma, in the same way some people are not born to be runners or mathematicians, it's just not natural for them, sometimes is better to stop trying and accept the misery, if you're imprinted with that for whatever reason is easier to swallow and burn it inside you, why search for friends if people dislike you, it's easier to find peace in yourself rather than torturing your soul to be something different, not inherent in your own nature.
The pain means that something is dying, but what if that dying thing is bad for you?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:51:21 2012 No.8725670 >>8725627 Why do your parents accept your NEET ways?

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 05:54:50 2012 No.8725678

>>8725650
I've thought about this before and in a way I have "accepted" this as my fate. It's just the stigma of being like this that makes it seem like I should try to change. Shut-ins are generally looked down upon, people are always trying to "help" the depressed people. My parents always tell me they want me to go out into the world and be "happy" so I feel like I've failed them because I'm this way.

I've often asked myself "What is happiness?" what would truly make me happy..if anything and nothing ever comes to mind. Maybe because I've never really tasted happiness, its alien to me.

>>8725670
They are alcoholics, probably because of me.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 06:01:20 2012 No.8725693 >>8725583 >>8725594 how exactly did you end up in the hospital? Did a family member find you passed out or did you call 911?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 07:19:21 2012 No.8725867 File: 21 KB, 300x369, yes, balloons.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] "Party balloons".

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 07:24:20 2012 No.8725873

Every day at the same time I feel like everything's crushing me and I think of how worthless everything is and try to justify little ways I could just get away from myself and my obligations. Then I eat some lunch and drink some coffee and it gets suppressed until late at night or the next day. I don't know what it is but it's been going on for like 4 months now.

>>	Markov !Sorin.epiQ Mon Mar 19 07:39:21 2012 No.8725905 >>8725534 I know that feel. I hate everyone who's better off than me and can't feel anything other than negative emotions.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 07:45:50 2012 No.8725908 sometimes I feel like I'm completely untalented and don't have what it takes to be successful. then I realize I'm just making excuses and feel like an even bigger loser.

Anonymous Mon Mar 19 07:58:21 2012 No.8725918

well today is just a depression day i guess
i feel like crap and dont want to do anything
i wish time would go by faster so i could wait for something to happen

its weird because i stopped worryingabout something lately but now without worrying i guess i have nothing to live for

oh also does anyone else feel disgust when they see their own hands? its become difficult for me to type or play any video games because i have to see them on the keyboard

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 19 08:08:21 2012 No.8725942 >>8725905 That's a SO win and EPIC tripcode, dude.

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