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/jp/ - Otaku Culture


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8490784 No.8490784 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

(Previous thread: >>8434883)

http://jpvn.dyndns.org/

This is a project to collect short stories and bundle them together in VN form. The deadline is in less than two days (37 hours left at the moment of writing), so if you're still writing your submission, finish it ASAP. This is also the deadline for modifications to existing submissions. All submissions after the deadline will be rejected and all edits after the deadline will be reverted. Katsu, if you're reading this, your story 'Reborn' does not meet the word count criterion at the moment. If this is not resolved before the deadline, the story will be rejected.

Contributions so far:
http://jpvn.dyndns.org/index.php/The_Girl
http://jpvn.dyndns.org/index.php/Untitled_story
http://jpvn.dyndns.org/index.php/Murderball
http://jpvn.dyndns.org/index.php/Shining_Arms
http://jpvn.dyndns.org/index.php/Codename:_It%27s_so_wonderful
http://jpvn.dyndns.org/index.php/The_Princess_Gospel
http://jpvn.dyndns.org/index.php/Reborn (invalid)
http://jpvn.dyndns.org/index.php/One_Week
http://jpvn.dyndns.org/index.php/A_Bunch_of_Nonsense

>> No.8490793

Explain your shit. How will this work? Will it be like an Are You Afraid of the Dark Deal? Or will the stories "be" the VNs? I don't get this at all.

>> No.8490815

Even if this VN never sees the light of day... I'm still happy a few /jp/ers decided to start writing. I originally tried to start that 24hr "contest" to try to motivate people and thought it'd be pointless. I'm glad I was proven wrong

>> No.8490851

>>8490815
Your problem was that you just made a post saying 'ok write a story in 24 hours go', which simply doesn't work. First of all, people need time to contribute. Not because contributing takes that long, but because people also have other things to do and might not have the time for it or feel like it that moment. More importantly though, was that your idea seemed completely aimless. What differentiates it from other random writing moments? OP here claims to turn them into VNs, but even if he doesn't do that there will still be a poll, providing some kind of goal to work towards.

>>8490793
OP made an example last thread, >>8450002.

>> No.8490865

>>8490851
I know. I should have put more effort into it.

>> No.8490959

Does anybody know any good software I can use for the poll (free or cheap - as long as it can be downloaded immediately)? Since this is /jp/, some way to filter out proxy votes is a must, but I can't find any poll software that filters out proxy votes.

>> No.8490981

>>8490851
Unfortunately I don't have a working Windows machine. Can someone post screenshots?

>>8490959
poll.fm (Polldaddy). Made by the people who made WordPress and such. It's aimed at businesses, but they have free options available.

>> No.8493831

>>8490959

Do you really think people will proxy vote their own short story?

That seems kind of ridiculous to me

>> No.8493854

>>8493831
I was more afraid of random people proxy voting the short story they like best, or just proxy voting just because they can.

>> No.8493874

>>8493854

Well the only way you'd really be able to stop that would be to pull some saimoe bullshit, so I'd just run a normal poll and rerun it if the results seem funky.

If you're really that worried, have it arranged as a preferential poll, as that'd be enough work that you'd have to be really dedicated to cheat it.

>> No.8494665

>>8490981
I just checked with PollDaddy, but it seems their blacklist feature is only for paid accounts, and the cheapest price for that is 23 euros (for a single month). I'm willing to throw some money at this, but not that much for a single poll.

>> No.8494674

No one is going to proxy vote their own story. If a story was unpopular they would get called out on it.

>> No.8494683

>>8494674
This is /jp/, if it's popular and gets lots of votes they'll be called out for it as well.

>> No.8494772

Can't you do a google poll that's restricted to people with gmail accounts? Sure it would limit things, but...

>> No.8494852

>>8494772
Google asks for and links across IPs and accounts an obscene amount of information, and will now also automatically sign you up for its social networking service when you register an account. That, and the fact that an account requirement in general will discourage anons from voting makes the solution worse than the problem.

>> No.8494860

>>8494852
High five for my fellow anti-Google bro.

Just get everyone to go in gikobar or something and cast their votes there. If people don't show up, tough shit (it's no different to, say, them sleeping through the voting process).

>> No.8494887

why dont you just have the artists (which none exist yet) pick the stories they want to draw for

>> No.8495785

I still haven't finished my story yet and I currently don't have the inspiration to finish it.

orz

>> No.8496515

I've got a solution to ALL THE PROBLEMS.

Take votes in the form of artwork. Everyone who wants to vote has to draw one sprite for the VN. Only high quality sprites are accepted. Even if someone cheats and draws multiple sprites to cast several votes, more power to them.

>> No.8498538

And that's it for the deadline. The poll isn't ready yet, it'll come online later today.

>> No.8499769

You can vote now!

http://jpvn.dyndns.org/poll/

Voting ends in three days (February 3rd, 9 PM GMT). You can upvote stories you like, downvote stories you dislike or cast neutral votes for stories you're neutral towards or haven't read. You CANNOT RETRACT OR CHANGE YOUR VOTES, so make sure you are certain about your votes before hitting the button.

>> No.8499772
File: 2 KB, 191x229, vote.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8499772

>>8499769
UPBOATS FOR ALL ( ゚ ヮ゚)

>> No.8499805

Goodness gracious, I wasn't even aware the stories were actually up for reading until now when the poll got up.

>> No.8499810

>>8499805
Nigger these threads have been around for days and they've moved slowly as hell.

YOU HAD PLENTY OF TIME.

>> No.8499891

Next time don't use a generic Miku image, I thought this was a Miku thread and the links were youtube links.
Will read these asap.

>> No.8499900

>>8499891
This. There was actually a Miku thread with a similar image.

Get someone to draw a logo. Or use one of those ONLINE LOGO GENERATORS. Those are great.

>> No.8500251

So now that you have stories for this, how will you find some artists? Will you just end up using no sprites and stock backgrounds if needed?

>> No.8500464

>>8500251
>So now that you have stories for this, how will you find some artists? Will you just end up using no sprites and stock backgrounds if needed?
I am hoping I can get artists interested once it is clear what will be worked on. I will also try to contact /jp/ artists to ask if they might be interested. I will not seek out artists outside of /jp/, as I want this to truly be a /jp/ project, not a project that started on /jp/ at some point but ended up being made by unrelated people. No sprites or CGs and stock backgrounds are a last resort solution I would like to avoid.

>> No.8500516

>>8500464
My drawing skills are shit, but if nobody else wants to do it, I will. I hope someone better steps up, but I'm your backup in case everyone else fails.
Expect something like R07 but worse. But I won't give up...

>> No.8500527

>>8500464

I see. So how are the votes looking? I can pretty much imagine what the endfive will be as of the eight stories, three are formatted badly enough that they're painful to read, but what's are the top ones?

I do feel bad for that untitled story though, poor as it's formatting was, it was a pretty good story.

>> No.8500733
File: 50 KB, 200x200, erikatsk.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8500733

>>8500516
But I like R07's art...

>> No.8501341

>>8500527
What do you think the top five will be?

>> No.8501367

What will happen to non-winning stories? I hope they get a special consolation edition to encourage them to write again.

>> No.8501390

>>8501367

i imagine they can make changes to the story and resubmit if there's ever a second release

>> No.8501736

>>8501341

I'm putting my money on The Girl, Murderball, Shining Arms, Codename: It's so wonderful and A Bunch of Nonsense.

The untitled story has terrible formatting that hurts your eyes. One Week/Princess Gospel both have problems with run-on sentences that cause your eyes to glaze over. By virtue of elimination that leaves the above five, even if I found half of them kind of boring.

>> No.8503261

Bump.

>> No.8503756
File: 83 KB, 400x400, 1274900539218.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8503756

My votes:

1. untitled story: it's really interesting, great atmosphere. I don't give a shit about "formatting", it needs to be put into VN form anyway so why bother? it was more readable than others even if they were more correct
2. One Week: I'm so glad I sticked untill the end, because I almost dropped it. Bwhahaha, now that's promising...
3. The Princess Gospel: interesting setting, it could go either way
4. Shining arms: pretty good even if it's a bit generic

Downvoted the rest, sorry ;_; ... I won't say anything bad about them, but for several reasons they didn't click. I hope people put a bit of effort and vote

>> No.8504266
File: 9 KB, 162x147, 1279047889274.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8504266

Damn, I finally got enough motivation to start writing something myself, even knowing the deadline is well over. But I won't use the deadline as an excuse, because that could become and endless loop.
I'm going for a different approach than the other writers! I don't have any respect for my writing skills, I will just vomit over the paper without care.

I understand this is a contest to get contributors and exposure. But if I'm able to have a demo by myself, could that be added as a bonus to a magazine issue, after review? (it may not be ready by the first issue) I understand if this is not okay because it's a bit unfair to the future losers of the contest. I may just sync my release with yours but independently instead, if that's not a bother. It's going to be very bad, so it's not really competition. I'm not even a native English speaker. If not, I will release at a different time.

>> No.8504276

>>8504266

Isn't that unfair to all the other writers who didn't make the deadline?

>> No.8504293

>>8503756
"author" of the untitled story here. This post wasn't me and I don't want to be accused of samefagging. OP, is there any way you can take it off the contest?

>> No.8504294

>>8501736
>The untitled story has terrible formatting that hurts your eyes.

Who cares? That can be fixed. I found the premise and execution to be positively chilling, but I am weak for stories about vritual worlds.

>> No.8504312

>>8504294
Not him but I care. It really affects the flow of reading.

Has a few mistakes too. Lack of caps, misspellings and such. Nobody's perfect but it's a little distracting for what could be a pretty good story in VN format.

OP, do you plan to do any copy editing? If not, I'd gladly do it for you.

>> No.8504326

>>8504276
You are right, I feared so. I will try submitting if there's a second contest. Meanwhile, I'll hold on.

>> No.8504327

>>8504293
>OP, is there any way you can take it off the contest?
Take what off the contest? The story, as in, retracting your submission? I could do something like that if the author insists, though I wouldn't see why they would want to do such a thing.

If any authors want to make any requests like that, please contact me by e-mail so I can verify you are really the author (and not some random anon) and are serious about it.

>>8504266
I am afraid giving any kind of special treatment or otherwise deviating from the given rules without community consensus would be unfair to the other contributors. If this project is successful, you can submit your story for issue/volume/something #2.

>> No.8504345

Oh snap, I just realized something that hasn't been addressed.

This will be Ren'Py, right?

>> No.8504354

>>8504293
I'm the author of that post
I didn't try to pose as you (I don't understand what gave you that impression) but please don't take off your story...

>> No.8504362

>>8504345
What's wrong with Ren'Py? wouldn't using something like onscripter be a tremendous waste of time?

>> No.8504381

I don't see what's the problem with Ren'py. It's very simple, and more importantly, there's a large website and wiki full of instructions and examples you can use. I'd understand if you didn't want your project to be associated with the worst parts of the VN fandom... but is that really worth the trouble? ONscripter is really annoying to use.

>> No.8504424

>>8504381

isn't it also more advantageous to learn onscripter in the long run?

>> No.8504446

>>8504345
>>8504362
>>8504381
Yes, this project will use Ren'Py. Both engines have their advantages and disadvantages, but Ren'Py was initially agreed on, so it will be kept unless a majority suddenly disagrees.

>>8504312
The content of any story will not be edited in any way, even if it is clearly wrong (character A shooting character B with his gun when his gun was stolen five lines earlier, incorrectly used proverbs).

As for spelling corrections and the like, I would like people's opinions on this. On the one hand, the author should have solved these problems before the deadline. On the other hand, correcting such mistakes do lead to a better product.

>> No.8504484

Is there a way for us to see how the voting is going after voting? Also, it seems as if you could vote multiple times as long as you leave the page and come back.

>> No.8504600

>>8504484
Votes remain hidden until the poll ends. What you describe is a cache problem, it only tells you the vote has been submitted while it was actually rejected.

>> No.8504873

>>8504294

According to the OP, it can't be fixed as it's past the deadline. Used asis

>> No.8505088

>>8504362
I never said anything was wrong with it--I was just curious. Personally I think Ren'Py is pretty great.

>>8504446
> Yes, this project will use Ren'Py.
Then my next question:
Will you make a Linux release?

>> No.8505106

take this shit to /a/. reported for advertising

>> No.8505112

>>8504362
Not trying to imply anything but, does no one here in /jp/ know about KiriKiri or what?

>> No.8505134

>>8505112
Have you ever tried Kirikiri? It has NO documentation whatsoever in English. I even found N2System (Nitro+'s notoriously buggy and inefficient engine) much easier to use than Kirikiri. Kirikiri is a beast, and you can't tame it without documentation.

>> No.8505141

Since we're talking about writing... does anyone know where the new OC thread is? Can't find it in the catalog

>> No.8505199

>>8505141
It's at >>8500184.

>> No.8505204

>>8505141
Your browser can search Web pages. Press and hold the "CTRL" key (on your keyboard) then press the "F" key (also on your keyboard).

>> No.8505209 [DELETED] 

>>8505112
KiriKiri is...bad. Two reasons relevant to a project like this:
* Windows-only. Not a big deal since most VNs are, but why restrict your market?
* The awful scripting language. I'm not a huge Python fan, but at least you're using a standard, real-world language in Ren'Py.

>> No.8505239

>>8505209
>* Windows-only. Not a big deal since most VNs are, but why restrict your market?
Because, uh, 95% of said market is already on Windows anyways, and the other 5% has a Windows machine somewhere and just doesn't use it as their main machine?

>* The awful scripting language. I'm not a huge Python fan, but at least you're using a standard, real-world language in Ren'Py.
Yeah, no. It's damned PYTHON we're talking about here. And when we're talking about scripting, I prefer Kirikiri's "here's the entire fully editable engine in the exact same format" approach over RenPy's "it IS possible to do X, but you'll have to do Y and Z to reach it and it uses format A, not B or C. The syntax for that, uh...the documentation is still in development. Please figure it out for yourself".

>> No.8505252

>>8505112
>>8505209
>>8505239
Shut the fuck up. This thread isn't about your bullshit. Take it to /g/ or /prog/ or your own thread. The project is going to use Ren'Py. It works well, so deal with it. Nobody gives a shit if you don't like a particular scripting language.
Delete your posts.

>> No.8505270

>>8505252
Why the hell do you get so angry? I just asked if nobody knew KiriKiri because they all talked about NScripter like it was the only option. I got some good and well thought answers and I'm satisfied and convinced. Why do you come here to spill your piled up teenager anger? If anyone here has to delete his post it's you.

>> No.8505285

>>8505270
I will after you delete yours (you have my word).
My problem is this, even if spelling it out makes it worse:
You are going to derail the thread. This is a project I like the sound of, and you are going to single-handedly bring about the downfall of a nice thread about it.
The second you mention one programming/scripting language as being inferior or superior to another, the thread is lost. Programming language arguments are second only to nationalist and meta arguments in how much they derail threads.

>> No.8505381

>>8505285
>you are going to single-handedly bring about the downfall of a nice thread about it
Haha wow I have no words. Stop being so hypersensitive; it's a fucking thread, they don't even last more than a few weeks.

>The second you mention one programming/scripting language as being inferior or superior to another, the thread is lost.
But I never did that. I asked in one line if you guys knew about KiriKiri since it's the sucessor of NScripter, I never compared anything. What the shit.

You're literally the most autistic poster I've seen on /jp/, and that's really hard to achieve. Congratulations.

>> No.8505389

>>8505239
>Yeah, no. It's damned PYTHON we're talking about here
What's wrong with Python, faggot?

>> No.8505396

>>8505389
>>8505381
>>8505285
>>8505270
>>8505252
Python is SHIT and it's for BABBY PROGRAMMERS

>> No.8505400

>>8505396
Let me guess: you use Lisp?

Here's a challenge for you:
Name one widespread, real world use of Lisp outside of academia. You're not allowed to say it doesn't matter since the point of programming languages is to create programs.

>> No.8505435
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8505435

Oh, what the fuck is wrong with all you. You are writing a VN script to show fucking images, text fields, music and random crap.

Why fuck would you use Lisp for this, is like trying to kill a fly with a bazooka. Get it done fast and clear with Python, java or C.

>> No.8505443

>>8505435
>fast
>C
>fast
>Java
Whether you mean "rapid development" or "performant", you're wrong.

>> No.8505454

>>8505443
You can write a VN engine from scratch just with the Java library in almost no time, how is that slow?

>> No.8505455
File: 763 KB, 1024x692, crash_bandicoot1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8505455

>>8505400

>> No.8507544

Bump.

>> No.8508230

>>8505381
Looks like he was right since, except for the bump, every single post after yours (including this one) is part of the derail. See:
>>8505389
>>8505396
>>8505400
>>8505435
>>8505443
>>8505454
>>8505455

This isn't /g/ or /prog/. If you just want to shitpost, start a new thread with "whch prmng lnguge wud u fuk" instead of derailing this one.

>> No.8509607

>>8508230
Or perhaps nobody ever says anything in this thread unless it gets derailed.

>> No.8511055

There are 8.5 hours left to vote.

>> No.8511902

Two hours left.

>> No.8511910 [DELETED] 

>>8508230
They are doing it to upset you, retard.

>> No.8511914

>>8508230
They're doing it to upset you, retard. Since you (or he) exploded in buttdevastation they're now doing it on purpose. Learn to take it easy next time.

>> No.8512027

The Girl: I'm not much of a fan of the writing style, but it's readable and the plot is great. UP
untitled story: The writing is very mediocre. The story is slightly interesting but never goes anywhere. NEUTRAL (I did not hate it like the ones I downvoted)
Shining Arms: The writing isn't perfect but it's good. Plot is simple but interesting. UP
Codename: It's so wonderful: As the man in blue jeans and a black sweater was reading the story like a computer technician reading the manual for a new motherboard he had just received in his browser, who had otherwise only seen use for image board posting and the downloading of pornography - of which the man had a large collection - he determined that such excessive detail displayed in narrative could only harm a story, like an obligatory analogy pushed into a sentence where it did not belong. THE MAN'S MOUSE, BLACK AND ROUND AS IT WAS IN SHAPE, MOVED TO THE CIRCLE DENOTING A NEGATIVE VOTE, THE MAN PRESSING DOWN ON THE LEFTMOST BUTTON AS IT CONTINUED TO LIGHT A RED GLOW UNDERNEATH
The Princess Gospel: -Maybe your grammar should try fixing also periods are not evil there is also no interesting narrative anywhere, only semi-interesting conversation so I dropped it. DOWN
One Week: Narrative (or lack of it) is very chaotic. When I have to re-read two sentences back to finally understand what the hell it meant because it lacks any kind of context until some time later, and the sentences are long in a stream-of-though oh yeah that happened too kind of way, not helped by the speling errors, I tend to drop it. DOWN
A Bunch of Nonsense: If I could upvote this story more than once, I would. Very good writing - beautiful, yet it flows perfectly - and the plot is simple but very interesting, perfect for a short story. UP UP UP

>> No.8512118

One hour left to vote at http://jpvn.dyndns.org/poll/

>> No.8512382 [DELETED] 
File: 11 KB, 391x247, poll results.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8512382

The results are in! http://jpvn.dyndns.org/poll/

1. Shining Arms (14/9/5) +9
2. The Girl (11/12/5) +6
3. untitled story (10/13/5) +5
4. A Bunch of Nonsense (11/11/6) +5
5. Codename: It's so wonderful (8/14/6) +2
---
6. Murderball (8/10/10) -2
7. The Princess Gospel (6/13/9) -3
8. One Week (7/11/10) -3

>> No.8512387
File: 11 KB, 391x247, poll results.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8512387

The results are in! http://jpvn.dyndns.org/poll/

1. Shining Arms (14/9/5) +9
2. The Girl (11/12/5) +6
3. untitled story (10/13/5) +5
4. A Bunch of Nonsense (11/11/6) +5
5. Codename: It's so wonderful (8/14/6) +2
---
6. Murderball (8/10/10) -2
7. The Princess Gospel (6/13/9) -3
8. One Week (7/11/10) -3

>> No.8512444

>>8512387
Mixed feelings...
Poor One Week. The author took too much risk trying to deliver that twist at the end, thinking people wouldn't drop it long before it came.
Am I the only one that was put off by murderball because all the embedded vn code, even if there was a codeless version?
The girl and so wonderful are going to suck balls. Pretentious faggotry worthy of lit or something. At least the girl has some good themes, code wonderful is about arabs and chavs in london, what the fuck, I'm in this for the weeaboo.
Great result for untitled story! my fav
Anyway, pretty close results. I think every author should be happy.

>> No.8512464

>>8512444
>Am I the only one that was put off by murderball because all the embedded vn code, even if there was a codeless version?
Apparently not, since it only got 8/28 upvotes. I expected it to place higher...

I also expected A Bunch of Nonsense to score a lot higher than that. I guess /jp/ just has no taste.

>> No.8512465

>>8512387
I really liked Murderball, it reminds me of Gants. Shame it got so many downvotes.

Is it possible to run a check for proxy voting or something? Some websites like krautchan have a very effective proxy detector.

>> No.8512476

>>8512465
I checked all the IPs and found no proxy, so either they were good at evading detection or all votes were real.

>> No.8512477

>>8512465
These results seem pretty legit because the numbers are all pretty low.
But then again, even proxyvoting just 3 or 4 times for your own story could be a game changer with these results

>> No.8512509

Well then, now that we know which stories will be worked on, we will need artists to illustrate the stories and musicians to make music and sound for the stories. If you are interested in working on any of these stories, please put your name at the project on the wiki or send an e-mail to [email protected]

I can handle the scripting myself, but if anybody wants to help me with it, any help is welcome.

>> No.8512526

>>8512509
And thus the /jp/ visual novel died.

>> No.8512582 [DELETED] 

>>8512509
> we will need artists to illustrate the stories and musicians to make music and sound for the stories.
Yeah, not gonna happen.
We have a few musicians here given the popularity of off-topic threads about violins and guitar amps. I think ZUN!bar and Princess of the Crystal are musicians, to name a couple.
Unfortunately, /jp/ seems to suffer from a collective inability to draw. There are a few odd gems in the original content threads, but I can't see anyone wanting to dedicate themselves to a project like this. I strongly advise you ask >>>/ic/. Make it clear that it's just a fun 4chan project and you're not explicitly making a "request" as such (obviously, requests are frowned upon there).

>> No.8512589

>>8512509
So how does it work? one artist per story? or just a free for all? does the writer have any say on which artists draws/composes for his story? do artists get to choose which story they draw or compose for? do people just submit stuff, or do they work with the writers or with you? who does the designs? any deadlines? quality control?
I think it should at least be decided if this is done on a contribution\wiki style or a traditional approach with small opaque teams. Or maybe that could be decided in a case per case basis?
Just some brainstorming, everything seems a bit vague to me. I might have a wrong impression though, I haven't been following this at 100%.

I hope the nice drawfags and musicians that lurk jp decide to help.

>> No.8512592 [DELETED] 

>>8504446
> The content of any story will not be edited in any way, even if it is clearly wrong (character A shooting character B with his gun when his gun was stolen five lines earlier, incorrectly used proverbs).
This I can agree with, since it's sort of the author's responsibility and should be taken into account when voting.

> As for spelling corrections and the like, I would like people's opinions on this. On the one hand, the author should have solved these problems before the deadline. On the other hand, correcting such mistakes do lead to a better product.
This I disagree with. You don't have to have a mastery of the English language to write a good story, so people are going to naturally make mistakes. However I'm sure we've all came across a story where we've read a typo and it has completely ruined our immersion. Therefore I think fixing spelling and grammar mistakes is important and will contribute to the overall polish of the project. Perhaps we could even use the wiki to fix up other people's mistakes?
I would be interested in hearing people's opinions (including yours) on this.

>> No.8512644

>>8512589
>So how does it work? one artist per story?
That is the intention. If artists want to they can collaborate on a story, but I would think it's simpler (and more discouraging to make it into something too big to finish) to have one artist per story.

>does the writer have any say on which artists draws/composes for his story?
If the writer strongly disagrees with the artist/musician (for example, many people around here hate mugenjohncel and wouldn't want him to work on their projects) and cannot resolve this issue with the artist/musician, and this is indicated in a timely manner (in other words, not if he's already finished half of the art/music), the artist/musician can be removed from the project (though doing this is not recommended, as not many people will be willing to be an illustrator for a writer rejecting artists' help like that.

>do artists get to choose which story they draw or compose for?
Yes.

>do people just submit stuff, or do they work with the writers or with you?
People can just submit stuff, but discussion with the writer is strongly encouraged. I have asked four of the five writers if I can give their e-mail to artists/musicians willing to work with them. (I don't have the e-mail of the other writer.)

>who does the designs?
The artist. As always, the writer can give feedback, comments, instructions, and so on.

>any deadlines?
No, as I do not have a proper estimate on how long it takes to illustrate a story.

>quality control?
Other than people checking out their progress and commenting on it, no.

>I think it should at least be decided if this is done on a contribution\wiki style or a traditional approach with small opaque teams. Or maybe that could be decided in a case per case basis?
Working on the wiki is recommended, that way everything is at the same place and the situation of every story is clear. If a team wants to work in a different way I won't stop them, though.

>> No.8512662

>>8512582
/jp/ has plenty of artists who are capable of doing this. The only challenge is in finding artists willing to do this.

>I strongly advise you ask >>>/ic/. Make it clear that it's just a fun 4chan project and you're not explicitly making a "request" as such (obviously, requests are frowned upon there).
I refuse to do that. This is a visual novel project, and this is a project that needs artists, but above all, this is a /jp/ project. A filtered backgrounds - no sprites approach is preferable to making this a non-/jp/ project.

>> No.8512874 [DELETED] 

>>8512662
> I refuse to do that. This is a visual novel project, and this is a project that needs artists, but above all, this is a /jp/ project. A filtered backgrounds - no sprites approach is preferable to making this a non-/jp/ project.
Fair enough.

>> No.8512913

I just read "Shining Arms".
I don't know if this has been dressed, but I just find it somehow odd that the title is plural when only one shining arm is mentioned.

>> No.8512933

>>8512913
Maybe there are more people with shining arms
Maybe the MC will unlock his second shining arm later
Maybe it's a fuckup

>> No.8512979

just steal sprites from other games.

>> No.8512983 [DELETED] 

>>8512979
This. Copy paste different components and change the colours. Sprite comic ``artists'' have been doing this for years.

>> No.8513049
File: 16 KB, 478x408, shinyheroes.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8513049

Behold, the main characters of Shining Arms.

>> No.8513283
File: 7 KB, 330x316, hero.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8513283

This is my main character of codename: Wonderful Life

>> No.8513291

Oh fucking cockballs, I never heard about this until now. Guess I'll get a head start on the next one, if it ever happens...

>> No.8513296 [DELETED] 

>>8513291
You could always send a submission in to nocturne and see how that goes.

>> No.8513304

>>8513291
>>8513296
http://www.nocturnesonline.blogspot.com

You didn't get it from me

>> No.8513307

>>8513304
Oh, thank you, I was just about to remake my post to mention that to him.

>> No.8513313 [DELETED] 
File: 60 KB, 478x408, shin.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8513313

>>8513049
I think you missed a core point of the story.

>> No.8513319
File: 87 KB, 318x312, Enthralled_Parrot.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8513319

>>8513313
Impressive

>> No.8513381 [DELETED] 

enjoy Cancer
enjoy aids

>> No.8513812

If you liked the untitled story, you should watch this. There's a new session starting tonight. (Probably the last one)

http://www.livestream.com/worlds_stream

>> No.8513826

can you guys recommend me a good VN? it has to be in English, and downloadable on Mac or usable on Crossover (PC emulator).

The main rule is: no jizz. I mean... unless it just looks like water. It's really gross to me, I don't know why.

>> No.8513828

>>8513826
fuck posted this on accident
meant to start new thread damnit

>> No.8515271

>>8512444
>code wonderful is about arabs and chavs in london, what the fuck, I'm in this for the weeaboo.

Naa... Don't worry about that mate. I'm out. Originally thought this was meant to be a Light Novel anyway. I kept it in just to help the project out. Suffered from to much purple prose anyway, and I've managed to submit a revised addition to this magazine.

Just kept it in to see if it would do ok or not. Dosen't hurt to get feedback, and it's been (mostley) helpful. Thanks anyway /jp/.

>> No.8515280
File: 36 KB, 322x310, 124214.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8515280

>>8515271
>bawww someone said something mean I'm going to take my ball and go home

>> No.8515302

>>8515271
Wow, what a baby.

>> No.8515305

>>8515280
>bawww someone said something mean I'm going to take my ball and go home

Welp, when I've only come narrowly 5th. There dosen't seem to be much point in staying in the compitition. I'm not backing out because I can't face critisism. It hurts, but I can take it. I'm backing out because it does not have that much potential and wasn't suppoused to be a VN in the first place. Have you read it? To much description. Setting is not a problem, but it needs to be shorter and less descriptive. And as I've said, I've already subbmited a revised story to a LN magizine. So what's the point in staying in?

>> No.8515309
File: 1.35 MB, 300x169, fiddy.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8515309

>>8515305
>uwaaaa I didn't want to be in this anyway

>> No.8515310

>>8515302
If you honestly want to think that.

>> No.8515319

>>8515309
*sigh* sure... If you want to think that, go ahead. It seems I'm not going to change your view.

>> No.8515324

>>8515310
>>8515319
>*sigh*

>> No.8515340
File: 9 KB, 243x251, 1306780799452s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8515340

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

>> No.8515428
File: 18 KB, 300x300, 1249279434054.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8515428

>>8515340
>>>/b/

>> No.8515462

Well, it looks like one story will be pulled (unless the author changes his mind, I have asked him for confirmation). Should we go with 4 stories or should we add the 6th highest rated story to the VN?

>> No.8515469
File: 189 KB, 397x430, 671315969594.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8515469

>>8515428
HEY KISAMAS,

WATASHI NO NAMAE WA ANANIMASU OFFU KAKUSU TO WATASHI WA KIRAI EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ANATA. ALL OF ANATA ARE FAT, BAKA BAKA NO-LIFES WHO SPEND EVERY SECOND OF MAINICHI MITEIRUING AT BAKA PICTURES. ANATA WA SUBETE THAT IS WARUI IN THE SEKAI. HONTO NI, HAVE ANY OF ANATA EVER GOTTEN ANY NEKO? I MEAN, WATASHI GUESS IT’S TANOSHI MAKING FUN OF HITOS BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN UNKAWAIINESS, BUT MINNA TAKE IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. KORE WA WORSE THAN ONANI-ING TO PICTURES ON HESUBUUKU.

SHIRANAI HITO JA NAI DESHO? JUST HIT WATASHI AND BE SURE TO GANBARIMASU. WATASHI WA PRETTY MUCH PAAFEKUTO. WATASHI WAS AMERIKAN FUTBORU NO CAPTAIN, TO WATASHI WAS HAJIMASHTATER ON WATASHI NO BASUKETOBOORU TEAM. DONNA SUPOTSU DO ANATA ASANBOU, OTHER THAN “ONANI TO NAKED DRAWN NIPPONJIN”? WATASHI MO GET HOMO JA NAI A’S, TO WATASHI HAS A BANGING KAWAII SHOJO (KANOJO WA BLOWJOB WO SHIMASHITA; KUSO WA HONTO NI CASH.) ANATA WA ALL KISAMAS DARE SHOULD JUST KOROSU THEMSELVES. DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU FOR LISTENING.

(SONO PIC WA RELATED DESU, ARE WA WATASHI TO WATASHI NO ONNA)

>> No.8515541

>>8515462
I say keep it small. That way, the chances of getting this done increase.

>> No.8515568

>>8515469
>ANATA WA SUBETE THAT IS WARUI IN THE SEKAI
>BE SURE TO GANBARIMASU
every fucking time

>> No.8515574

>>8515462

I'd be for just upping murderball, as if I remember it was one of the first ones submitted and the guy who made it seems like he actually has a set of balls as he hasn't bitched about his placement when he's obviously put a lot of work into the work what with there being two versions and multiple edits. There's a pretty heavy doubt lingering over this whole project that it'll ever get anywhere from here, so one more story couldn't hurt.

>> No.8515612

>>8515568
I'm partial to KUSO WA HONTO NI CASH myself

>> No.8515654

>>8515574
I did bitch about the placing, I'm just subtle enough that you didn't notice. Anyways, I don't mind if Murderball isn't included, the votes ended with a negative score anyways, so I doubt you'd be able to get an artist and musician for it.

>> No.8515801

>>8515462
I'd say 4 stories.

>> No.8515833
File: 392 KB, 507x594, 1276546333567.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8515833

>>8515340
>>8515469

Fucking Lawl, what the fuck happened in this thread while I was looking away?

>> No.8515838

>>8515833

What is Obama drinking there, the essence of white?

>> No.8515867

>>8515838
The tears of the white race.

>> No.8515961

>>8515801
Dito.

>> No.8515993

Codename: It's so wonderful removed at the request of the author. The project will continue with four stories instead of five.

>> No.8516032

>>8515993
Wise choice. Now all that's left to do is to find artists willing to work on this project.

>> No.8516054

How picky are you guys about the style it's drawn in? I don't really feel like drawing full on "anime-styled", but I wouldn't mind contributing, since I could use the practice on learning to make characters more quickly/better.

>> No.8516075
File: 166 KB, 900x900, 1326633384054.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8516075

>>8516054
Make them 100% anime styled please.

>> No.8516080

>>8516075
So I can't even give them noses? Damn. I'll have to pass then.

>> No.8516089

>>8516054
I honestly don't give a fuck. Doesn't matter. If it's good and I like it then that's all I care about.

>> No.8516090

>>8516080
>So I can't even give them noses? Damn. I'll have to pass then.
>quoting a post with an anime image with a nice nose
Dude...

>> No.8516109

>>8516090
When I draw anime styled, the noses turn into triangles or lines. It made me bad at drawing noses; and I'm trying to get better at noses, so I've been wanted to avoid the "100% anime". The picture posted/quoted and manga/anime styles in general have nothing to do with what I said, since I was referring to my own style.

>>8516089
I'll doodle something up after I get something to eat, then you can all tell me whether to fuck off or not, I suppose.

>> No.8516119

>>8516109
Wicked. It's worth a go anyway. We haven't got many artists yet. So it's a start anyhow. Look foward to seeing it.

>> No.8516133

>>8516109
Wouldn't tell you to 'fuck off' or not (I may be anonymous, but I still have standards). Creative critisism would probably be best.

>> No.8516179

>>8516109
I don't think the people involved in this project can be picky, so I'd say the style doesn't really matter. However, this is /jp/, so it'd be nice to have anime-styled ilustrations. No need to go full-on anime kawaii ugu~, obviously, just having them anime-ish would be enough.

>> No.8516252
File: 51 KB, 640x480, although this style is likely to turn anything into a horror story.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8516252

>>8516054
Any style is welcome, be it anime-style, American comic-style, crayon drawings or photographs. It's recommended to discuss the style with the writer though, especially if you are planning to use an unusual style.

If you need a more direct way to contact the writer of Shining Arms or The Girl, please send an e-mail to [email protected] and I can get you in contact with them. For untitled story, I can try to relay messages, but I'm not sure if they'll actually be read. I have no way to contact A Bunch of Nonsense's writer, so let's just hope he still follows these threads.

>> No.8516557

>>8516252

I wrote nonsense. I have no preference for art or music beyond the desire to actually see them done, as it would give a reason to read my own work.

If you can actually get any artists or musicians and they should wonder, they can consider themselves licensed to surprise me.

>> No.8516601
File: 365 KB, 727x1800, shining arm.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8516601

>>8516109
Well, I kind of fucked that up and really messy, but you get the general idea. Didn't know what to draw so I grabbed the concept of the doodle above.

>>8516252
Oh. I see.

>> No.8516631
File: 91 KB, 301x267, 1274194297877.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8516631

>>8516601
That's really good!!
Consider me excited!!!!

>> No.8516633

>>8516601

I can dig you if you're looking for confirmation on the quality of your work.

>> No.8516675

>>8516601
Whoa, that's really good. Too good, I'd almost say. Are you sure you can keep that up for the entire short story?

>> No.8516694

>>8516601
You're already being showered with praise, but I'd like to note that while I have no criticism to offer, I can say I like the fact that it's not quite anime style but not comic-style realism either. Very nice, I haven't read the story you're drawing it for but the style is definitely suitable for a more serious/sci-fi story.

>> No.8516701

>>8516601
That dude looks just like me, only my eyes are slightly more watery. And I tend to wear a beanie over my messy hair to disguise its messyness.

>> No.8516706

>>8516601
That's extremely good. Reminds me of Catherine.

>> No.8516707

>>8516633
I just didn't know if it was in /jp/'s tastes. Especially the writer's tastes. I'll throw an email at OP to sort it all out.

>>8516675
I made it in about an hour and a half to two hours; it's a rushed image. Normally I'm pretty slow and can take an entire day to two days to finish an image. Even longer if it's more complex and needs to be polished. If you're worried about consistency, the anatomy might fuck up in some things I draw. I've never been good at anatomy.

>> No.8516721

>>8516707
It doesn't seem noticible to me. Perhaps you can use it to your advantage and just call it your particular style.

>> No.8516723

Resembles Saya no Uta artwork but better. If you can make that in 2 hours, this will be done in no time.
But we still have to see a female. They have to be cute no matter what.

>> No.8516729

>>8516723
Hmm... May have a point there. At least, if your going to appeal to the genral audience.

>> No.8516748

>>8516723
Should be faster since he doesnt have to draw a new body for each facial expression.

Or maybe he does I dont know.

>> No.8516749

>>8516707
I was talking about if you can keep it up time/motivation-wise. If you spend an entire day per character per image, you might lose motivation before getting halfway through the story.

>> No.8516806
File: 87 KB, 318x312, Enthralled_Parrot2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8516806

>>8516601
Truly impressive

>> No.8516814

>>8516749
Oh. No worries about that. I fluctuate a lot with time, but I'll still finish it. Some days I'm faster, some days I'm slower, just as long there's patience I can finish it. Worst case scenario I'll just take a really long time. 2 hours per image would be my best time, but it's definitely not going to be for every single image.

But these stories are so short that they really don't require a lot of work (not by comparison of really large projects at least). I really don't see myself losing motivation before I'm done.

>> No.8516829

>>8516601
God damn, that's perfect.
In fact my paranoid brain has surmised that you drew/stole that in advance. Perhaps you even came up with this whole project so you could launch your art career or troll us all hard.

There was a thread about being too nice yesterday so I feel I should offer some criticism:
* The edges are weird. Looks like you copied this from something else then extracted it. Maybe you did. It's most notable in the bottom-right.
* The shading is a little pillowy. In fact it looks good, but I'm sort of worried it might be a fluke and you secretly draw like a regular DeviantARTist whose anime characters look like they were drawn on top of the radial gradient tool in Photoshop.
* The textures are flat. They don't really mould to the clothes. I've seen a lot of people do this on purpose recently and I don't get why people think it looks good. Although it does like fine here since it's not obvious, but again it might be a fluke.

>> No.8516993

Author of Shining Arms here. Yeah, there is a reason for the plural, planned on doing another piece about it later, and it was supposed to be longer. Just to address that. If you prefer the singular arm I am sure the title can be changed, I really don't care that much about it, not the point.

Also, I want to say that >>8516601 has that character spot on, and unless someone presents something that makes me cream my jeans in the next few minutes, I'm just gonna give you the go ahead, it looks fantastic.

Also, wanted to thank everyone working on this, no matter if it is my story or someone else's. This is a great project, and I like a lot of the stuff I have read from it. I hope this goes well, gents.

>> No.8517276

>>8516829
>* The textures are flat. They don't really mould to the clothes. I've seen a lot of people do this on purpose recently and I don't get why people think it looks good. Although it does like fine here since it's not obvious, but again it might be a fluke.
Nothing else he said really bothered me, but I'll agree with this. The pants themselves have good depth to them, but it looks like they have an overlaid flat texture.

Not really a big deal to me, but I did notice it. If that's your stylistic thing I don't have much to say about it, it doesn't bug me.

>> No.8517511

Oh fucking balls on a choco banana. Not only did I find this thread after it was too late, I thought only the top story was going to get a VN. Damn. Well, I've read some of the stories and I wish you all good luck, and I hope you guys continue the good work. I want to try getting in a story for "next time".

>> No.8517707
File: 200 KB, 530x482, 1328276487632.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8517707

>>8516601
Good job, mate. Looking forward to seeing your stuff in the VN.

>> No.8517743

So are the stories in the OP complete stories? As in, they will turned into VN form with no additions?

>> No.8517748

>>8517743
Yes. Gotta start small.

>> No.8517815

>>8517743
They're the first issues I think? just like the first chapters of a manga...

>> No.8517862
File: 2 KB, 150x110, 110_F_1966676_J0PVep0bZXLJP5T5642rJQW7wOVFUa.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8517862

>>8516601
holy sh*t thats really nice sorry for swearing but its just that good lol

>> No.8518658

>>8513812

It kind of depresses me that the untitled story is just a transcription of this when I went out of my way to ignore it's shitty formatting and vote for it because it had an interesting premise.

>> No.8519207

>>8518658
Yet if you had not found out about that, your would still have a more positive opinion of the story.

Isn't the important thing that you enjoy it, not what inspired it?

>> No.8520210

Bump.

>> No.8520291

any update on this?

>> No.8520517

>>8520291
Well, its gonna take some time, but I know the artist for Shining Arms is working hard, at least.

>> No.8520797

The writer for 'untitled story' has requested for the story to be removed from the project, so unless he changes his mind (currently waiting for confirmation) we will continue with three stories.

>> No.8520899

>>8520797

Oh, so only 3 stories now? I guess there'll be more focus on them now then.

>> No.8520947

Oh look, more /jp/ project faggotry that will go nowhere.

>> No.8520988

>>8520947
But it's already gone somewhere.

>> No.8520995

>>8520899
yep.

>>8520797
True. We just need to keep it up.

>> No.8521624

>>8520797
good grief, i bet the writer got butthurt about
>>8518658
you are publishing your work on an anonymous forum. grow a thicker skin ffs

>> No.8524277

Bump.

>> No.8524605

I wish authors would quit dropping. Pretty soon its not going to be a short story collection..it'll just be a short story.

>> No.8525917

>>8524605
Only two dropped out. We don't know if any else will.

>> No.8525926

>>8490784
Holy shit, I was playing WORLDS that night the guy writing Untitled Story wrote about. I was one of those running around with Kenji

>> No.8525958

Untitled Story. gets my vote.

You can easily get all textures and graphics from the WORLDS client.

>> No.8525977

>>8525926
The stream last Friday was better. Also here's the visual guide made by Gradual.

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?9n648m5bgo49xxe

Maybe the story will get more /jp/ers interested in exploring the game by themselves. Here's a good place to start

http://www.theterri.com/worlds/Atlantis%20Wedding/atlantis_wedding_ours.world#main@1010.0,1181.0
,200.0,9.0,0.0,0.0,-1.0

>> No.8525991

>>8525958
The voting has long since finished and Untitled Story has been dropped. What the hell took you so long?

>> No.8526723

>>8518658
I still kind of want to read the rest of the untitled story. The author posted two pastebin links and the wiki only contains the first one (up to the gauntlet), which seems rather strange to me. I don't have much hope to read part 3, but some closure would be nice.

>> No.8526910

>>8526723
You guys do know that the kenji### character is real, right?

I have no idea whether the story about him is true or not.

>> No.8526921

>>8526910
He plays Worlds too often, but he's not -that- kinda of person

>> No.8529277

Bump.

>> No.8529278

>>8525977
Wow, this actually looks pretty cool. I thought it sounded pretty cool in the story, but I didn't actually think a game like that was around. Now that I'm looking at this, it's
'really freaking creepy'
The story gave the the game a creepy feel, but what the hell is with that site! I had no idea what I was doing so I went to
http://www.theterri.com/worlds/
then
http://www.theterri.com/
Not something one wants to see near midnight.
So, what's a guide for the lazy on 'how to'?

>> No.8529317

>>8529278
Oops, never mind. That avatar was freaking me out and the page was taking too long to load so I closed it before reading.

>> No.8529328

>>8517511
As was mentioned before in the thread, you could also send a submission into nocturnes.
www.nocturnesonline.blogspot.com

>> No.8529372

>>8529328
But nocturnes is edited by idiots! Why would any /jp/er want to send their work in there for it to be violated?

>> No.8529376

>>8529278
Download the worlds client. If it's your first time running it, a pop in will appear asking you to register, you can use any email address like 10minutemail. That's it, really.
If you see an address like >>8525977, just copy it into your in-game bookmarks and port to it.
here's a dungeon made by a BDSM fan.

http://www.jimblyworlds.com/worlds/bilbo/dungeon/dungeon.world#r1l@697.0,328.0,150.0,345
.0,0.0,0.0,-1.0

>> No.8529393

>>8529372
Please explain. I really want to start writing again but I have no idea what I'm looking at. Is OP and this nocturnes thing different people?

>> No.8529453

>>8529376
This is pretty awesome. Anyone else on? The truth is I'm kinda scared.

>> No.8529689

>>8529393
Vienne is the visual novel magazine, nocturnes tried to be the LN magazine, but there was a large backlash against the editors on jp a while back.

That's as far as I can tell.

>> No.8529840

>>8529689
Apparently they're still going, but they have pretty much nothing to do with /jp/ anymore.

So much for being a /jp/ project.

>> No.8529922

>>8529372
That was a while back. I sent in my story a couple weeks ago and while it was rejected, they were much nicer about it than what I had heard.
>>8529689
>but there was a large backlash against the editors on jp a while back.
Because one was incredibly hostile, I held back on sending something in because of that.

>> No.8529936

>>8529922
Forgot to add that the one editor ended up in a hospital.
>>http://fuuka.warosu.org/jp/thread/8419543

>> No.8533073

Bump.

>> No.8534135

>>8529936
Submited my peace to there before even relising this was going on. They seemed nice. Gave me a little critisism. Asked what the requirments are, etc. Yere. Got submited and all went well. They said they were going to 'edit' some bits though, however. I'm not complaining. As long as it's published, I don't care.

>> No.8534908

Added music to The Girl. Prinny, can you check if it's anything like what you had in mind? http://jpvn.dyndns.org/index.php/Audio:The_Girl

>> No.8535052

>>8534135
>>Submited my peace
Your a sugoi writer, aniki

>> No.8535089
File: 173 KB, 640x1080, 1328578442419.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8535089

>>8535052
>>8534135

get a room, you two

>> No.8535129

>>8535089
Source on picture?

>> No.8536964

Bump.

>> No.8537035

>>8535089
Ichigo Marshmallow

>> No.8537041
File: 115 KB, 1280x720, 1327983479789.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8537041

>>8535129
Kill me baby

Probably anime of the season

>> No.8537042 [DELETED] 

>>8534908
Those are perfect! Good work!

>> No.8537051

>>8534908
I liked them all! Very fitting! Good work!

>> No.8537059

>>8537041
It is good but I would not go that far. The anime just does not sit right with me. I dont think they translated some scenes right.

either way the anime is nice nut the 4koma is better

>> No.8537069

>>8537041
Did you mean worst anime of the season?

>> No.8538394
File: 166 KB, 500x280, Emil.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8538394

>>8535052
>>8535089
I knew my past would come back to haunt me...

>> No.8538480

I've read the top two and part of untitled.
Is there any submitted story with an erotic theme? Doesn't have to be pornographic.
I'm interested in how you guys write those type of stories.

>> No.8539225

>>8538480
You could right one yourself if you wanted.

>> No.8539240
File: 15 KB, 139x150, ur a faget.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
8539240

>>8529372
You're just mad they said your story sucked.

>> No.8539337

>>8539240
Not him, but I'm mad they rejected my story for being the editor's kind of story. He didn't say anything was wrong with the story, it just "wasn't the kind of story [he was] looking for". I'd have understood if it were because of quality issues (I sent it in, in hopes it would be completely bashed to bits and I could learn what parts of my writing needed improvement), but for it to be rejected for not fitting the editor's personal tastes just felt like an insult.

>> No.8539497

>>8539337
What story was it, if you don't mind me asking? Is it one of the stories that was up for consideration here?

I think that was the editor that got sent to the hospital, because mine got a thorough criticism.

>> No.8539522

>>8539337
The first editor seemed like he was looking for horror stories, whereas the next editor wanted any kind of story.

>> No.8539685

>>8539497
Murderball. The contents of the reply were:
1. It's not what we're looking for. The idea of prisoners being forced to kill each other for the hell of it has been done before. (One of the main reasons I wanted to write such a story is because they're not done often enough, especially not in the 'organized sport' style. The only one I can think of is Deadman Wonderland, which only featured it briefly, once as deadly obstacle course show and once as generic shounen magical fighting tournament. I have not yet seen any such story featuring serious weaponry and team tactics.) This story does not contain anything to make it more interesting than other such stories. (Well, that's because you don't like that kind of story. The poll results along with the lack of criticism suggests there are a lot of people that simply are not into that kind of story, but it wasn't rejected for being unpopular with the target audience, only because he simply didn't like it himself.)
2. You should double-space or indent your story. (Okay, sure. Personally I prefer to just throw all rules out of the window and go with whatever fits the story best, but if you want it in a specific format, that's fine.)
3. You can improve the story by writing less back-and-forth dialogue. (Finally a bit of minor criticism, but unfortunately not very useful as my stories generally feature significantly less dialogue, and I only added the extra dialogue as a focus on dialogue was one of the generally agreed on elements of a light novel story.)
4. The way it's written isn't the problem, just the story itself. (Well, fuck you? I submit a story exactly fitting the listed requirements and you reject it just because you don't like it? What the hell? What am I writing for if 'being your kind of story' is a fucking unlisted additional requirement?) Rather than editing your story, I recommend writing a new story.

>> No.8539714

>>8539685
To be completely honest and rather blunt, I have practically stopped writing because a) nobody reads my stories anyways, and more importantly b) everybody fucking refuses to give any kind of commentary on my writing, so for ages I haven't had the faintest fucking idea what I can do to improve my writing to make my stories worth reading. I saw the light novel project as a chance to finally get some decent criticism on my writing, and I pretty much wrote the whole thing up with the main intention to get some criticism. And in the end, I got none of it, and on top of that my story was even rejected.

Fortunately this project featured an anonymous poll that finally allowed me to see that people did indeed mostly dislike the story, finally confirming that the problem does indeed lie with me and not the places I post at. Now I'm only left wondering just WHAT I should improve on.

>> No.8539725

>>8539685
If it's any comfort, I really liked your story and it's a shame that it didn't win, it reminds me of that film with Jason Statham which was very fun.
Kinda sucks that the runner up didn't get included when I pulled the story I submitted

>> No.8539803

>>8539725
Nah, that's fine. If a story has more downvotes than upvotes, it shouldn't be included regardless of position in the poll results, in my opinion. It's a clear indication the people who are not interested in it are in the majority, so it would be a waste of time, effort and manpower to do anything with it project-wise.

>> No.8539834

>>8539803
If you want to improve yourself as a writer it seems your problem lies with the way you write. I'd recommend reading a lot of classic literature and trying to get a feel for how interesting sentences are told.

>> No.8539842

>>8539685
>>8539714
Yeesh, work on your attitude first and foremost.

Murderball reeked of a Mirai Nikki or Deadman Wonderland ripoff to me, personally. I can see what he meant when he said " This story does not contain anything to make it more interesting than other such stories.".

>> No.8539860

>>8539842
I did work on my attitude. This is the result. I started off nicely saying feedback is welcome, not saying anything about the lack of feedback. Then I started encouraging people to give feedback, not saying anything about the lack of feedback. Then I started asking people to give feedback, subtly reminding people that feedback would be nice. I then started complaining about how I don't get any feedback. I still didn't get any feedback. Then I send a story to a magazine that promises that even if your story is not accepted, at least you'll get some useful feedback. And I still don't get any feedback. I directly complained about the magazine not giving me feedback and directly stated I wanted some feedback on it because I had no fucking clue what to do. Even then, I did not get any feedback from anyone.

I don't like complaining like this, especially not non-anonymously. But I've grown extremely frustrated with the fact that whatever I try, nobody ever gives me any feedback. Sorry for being an asshole. But if that's what it takes to finally get people to criticize my work, then I will be an asshole.

>> No.8539886

>>8539860
>if that's what it takes to finally get people to criticize my work
I'm not a writer, but I am an artist, and as an artist I realize not everyone has a trained enough eye to see certain mistakes and errors, let alone know a good enough approach of how to make something work. Writing and drawing aren't very different, in your craft, you'll come across a lot of people who just don't have an opinion or know how to help you improve. You need to find other writers who have strong opinions and can give you tips - that's the only way to really get good critiques.

Asking random joe-shmoe what he thinks is only going to get you "I like it" or "I don't like it". They won't be able to tear it apart like someone who's well acquainted in your craft can.

I don't know if you've tried asking other (more professional) writers for advice, but I'm just saying it's something I've noticed when I personally try getting critiques for things. If I ask anyone who isn't a good artist, they'll tell me a bunch of useless things that don't help at all. You need to find a good crowd, which is probably the hardest thing to do. You can't force someone to have an opinion of your work, you need to find someone who has opinions to begin with.

>> No.8539917

>>8539886
You forgot that the most important aspect is finding your own opinions. This guy seems like he just wants his hand held on what's good or not, and is way too unsure about how he feels regarding his own work.

>> No.8541667

Bump.

>> No.8541669 [DELETED] 

>>8541667
DURRRRR HURRRRRR DURRRRR HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

>> No.8543993

>>8539337
>>8539685
>>8539714
>>8539803
>>8539860
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdCbuF8_1p8

>> No.8546466

Bump.

>> No.8546476

>>8543993
kill it.

>> No.8548285

Bump.

>> No.8550090

Bump.

>> No.8551474

>>8539917
He probably needs it though, if you make a peace of work and get no critisism for it, it's bassically the same as trying to fix a light switch in a dark room.

>>8539860
Try this website.

http://thosebigwords.forumcommunity.net/

You'de have to become a member of course, but the admin of the website is very deductive and can rip any argument or piece of litriture to shreds. If you need to be criticised, it may be best to start here or other forums dedicated to the arts.

>> No.8554255

/jp/ - Bumping/General

>> No.8556519

>>8551474
>He probably needs it though, if you make a peace of work and get no critisism for it, it's bassically the same as trying to fix a light switch in a dark room

Thing is, he DOES get plenty of criticism(Just look in this thread), he just whines about how it's not good enough.

>> No.8560708

Page 15 bump.

>> No.8561662

Bampu pantsu.

>> No.8561820

>>8556519
If so, never mind then.

>> No.8565847

Bump

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