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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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8434820 No.8434820 [Reply] [Original]

[spoiler]Hey /jp/, my girlfriend just told me she was pregnant... What do I do? Having a kid... it feels so sudden. Have any of you been in this situation before?</spoiler>

>> No.8434828 [DELETED] 

[spoiler]>>8434824
This</spoiler>

>> No.8434824

[spoiler]Kill yourself.
Do you really want to live knowing that your child will grow up with a dad who shitposts on 4chan?
I couldn't live with that burden</spoiler>

>> No.8434827

[spoiler]Kill the bitch and torture the baby.</spoiler>

>> No.8434836

[spoiler]>>8434824
>>8434827
>>8434828
This thread just got EDGY

You guys are hardcore...I hope I never run into you in a dark alley. Fuck.</spoiler>

>> No.8434831

[spoiler]Tell her you have no intention of being a part of the child's life, then flee the country.</spoiler>

>> No.8434832

[spoiler]Yes I'm sure /jp/ knows all about being pregnant. Good thing too since /jp/ would name their kid Reimu or Marisa or Marisa Reimu.</spoiler>

>> No.8434833

[spoiler]The fuck did you think was going to happen if you kept having sex.


You're a stupid cunt OP</spoiler>

>> No.8434840

[spoiler]>>8434833
Huh? We've never had sex.</spoiler>

>> No.8434844

[spoiler]>/jp/
>having sex
>who am I quoting?</spoiler>

>> No.8434845

[spoiler]Dump her and stay home and play eroge.</spoiler>

>> No.8434859

[spoiler]Is it true that sex makes babies?
Or is that just an urban legend?</spoiler>

>> No.8434862

[spoiler]How can 2D get pregnant?

2.5D is an abomination.</spoiler>

>> No.8434861

[spoiler]>>8434845
But I already do that, mostly. Also I got her into eroge and now we play them together sometimes.</spoiler>

>> No.8434865

[spoiler]>>8434862
Nah, it's 3D girlfriend. We met online though.</spoiler>

>> No.8434870

[spoiler]>>8434820
[spoiler] Abortions cost 575 dollars in the state of California. [/spoiler]</spoiler>

>> No.8434873

[spoiler]>/j/urassic /p/ark
<Having a gurlfriend
*LOLS OUT LOAD*</spoiler>

>> No.8434890
File: 40 KB, 560x420, 1237236825119.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8434890

[spoiler]Punch her fucking stomach.</spoiler>

>> No.8434939

[spoiler]>>8434890
>>8434870
Why do people think I want an abortion? I mean yeah, the thought of taking care of a kid is kind of scary in a sense, but not enough to want to abort it.</spoiler>

>> No.8434956

[spoiler]>>8434939
Ignore the retard, ladies and gentlemen.
Let us let this thread die before it gets blown out of proportion.</spoiler>

>> No.8434965

[spoiler]shoulda pulled ur dik from her ass</spoiler>

>> No.8434973

[spoiler]Abort or put up for adoption. Otherwise your life is ruined.</spoiler>

>> No.8434976

[spoiler]>>8434939
Okay then, keep it and take responsibility. Prepare to spend all your extra money to buy shit for the little shit, prepare to take care of it, clean its shit and puke, wake up in the middle of your sleep to feed it or clean its shit. Also enjoy your bickering, saggy whore who won't be in the mood for fucking for the next ten years. Also, get ready to get a job to support your new family. Oh and don't expect any free time when you get back from that job, you'll have to argue with your wife and take out the trash (including the baby's shit).

Or just get out of /jp/ because it's not /adv/. Reported.</spoiler>

>> No.8434981 [DELETED] 

[spoiler]>>8434861
So, because of this post, it's now /jp/ related?</spoiler>

>> No.8434983

[spoiler]>>8434939
Because if you are asking for advice on 4chan, you will be a fucking terrible father.</spoiler>

>> No.8434986

[spoiler]Punch her in the cunt a lot</spoiler>

>> No.8434988

[spoiler]>>8434981
No

But OP will keep it bumped nevertheless because he's [spoiler]squidy[/spoiler].</spoiler>

>> No.8434994

[spoiler]>>8434976
Why do normals value sex so much when this is the result? They just can't help themselves. It's pretty sad.</spoiler>

>> No.8435012

[spoiler]>>8434994
Like I said before, we've never had sex. Yeah, technically it's not my baby, but I have no problem caring for it all the same.</spoiler>

>> No.8435016

[spoiler]Adoption. It's for the best of the child, having witnessed what the father is like.</spoiler>

>> No.8435024

[spoiler]>>8435016
What the HELL is that supposed to mean?</spoiler>

>> No.8435030

[spoiler]>>8435012
Are you fucking retarded? Option A) Stay with whore/Raise whore-child. (we all need more idiots who choose this) or Option B) do what any normal person would do, and leave the whore. It's your call, and we could all use more idiots raising our illegitimate children so do whatever you want you crazy crazy bastard.</spoiler>

>> No.8435038

[spoiler]>>8435024
It means you are a fucking idiot, and should never, motherfucking ever, have or raise a child.</spoiler>

>> No.8435042

[spoiler]>>8435038
Your basis for this assumption being?</spoiler>

>> No.8435046

[spoiler]>>8435012
>it's not my baby

WHAT THE FUCK MAN. I THOUGHT THAT WAS SOMEONE ELSE TROLLING. HAVE SOME FUCKING SELF RESPECT.

Jesus fuck what is wrong with you.</spoiler>

>> No.8435053

[spoiler]>>8435046
Does it really matter if it's not genetically "mine"? I don't see why I can't love and care for it all the same.</spoiler>

>> No.8435054

[spoiler]>>8435012
> technically
What? So like...what?</spoiler>

>> No.8435055

[spoiler]>>8435046
It's not someone else, but that doesn't mean he isn't trolling.

Coming on /jp/ and saying your girlfriend's pregnant? Come on, now. This thread was a joke from the get-go.</spoiler>

>> No.8435060

[spoiler]>>8435055
What, you don't actually believe that [spoiler][/spoiler]>everyone on /jp/ are hikki NEETS[spoiler][/spoiler] bullshit, do you? That's just a running gag, man.</spoiler>

>> No.8435069

[spoiler]>>8435012
>Like I said before, we've never had sex.
Wait, I thought that was another anon that said that.
If you stay with this women you are more pathetic than all the virgin nerd of /jp/ combined.
Seriously kick her out and let her deal with that shit.
I'm 100% serious, you know this "relationship" will never last and if you don't kick her out of your life now you might end up as the legal father.
If this happens you'll have no choice but to pay for the bastard for the next 18 years.</spoiler>

>> No.8435077

[spoiler]>>8435042
First off, anyone asking for advice on 4chan, should never have children. Secondly, anyone stupid enough to raise a child that isn't theirs whist simultaneously having never slept with the mother, should never have children (because they are fucking retarded.) And lastly... Never mind, fuck it. I'll just say it, You are a fucking moron, and will end up going to prison for the child's negligent death because you have no fucking common sense whatsoever, and the points above prove it.</spoiler>

>> No.8435087

[spoiler]>>8435069
This has to be a troll, because that's beta as FUCK.
Enjoy raising, paying and getting stressed out over another man's mistake.</spoiler>

>> No.8435088

[spoiler]>>8435055
Good point, but still, it's the most pathetic thing I have ever read.

Caring for someone else's child is one thing. But unless she was pregnant before you two met then she cheated on you.

Congrats, you have no balls OP.

Unless you really do have no balls and are infertile or a woman, you shouldn't be in this cancerous relationship</spoiler>

>> No.8435085

[spoiler]>>8435060
It's not a running gag for some. Of course I don't believe that everyone here is like that, there are all kinds of people. But coming to /jp/, a board that would react most negatively to having a girlfriend at all let alone having sex and getting her pregnant, and saying that all of those things happened, is obvious trolling before a word is even said.</spoiler>

>> No.8435086

[spoiler]>>8435077
There's more to love than sex, man.</spoiler>

>> No.8435090

[spoiler]>>8435088
Look, people make mistakes. I admit I was hurt when she admitted she slept with another man, but we forgive and move on.</spoiler>

>> No.8435093

[spoiler]>>8435087
Whoops. That was meant for >>8435012</spoiler>

>> No.8435102

[spoiler]suddenly the kid is a nigger</spoiler>

>> No.8435103

[spoiler]>>8435090
Wow man, way to turn the other cheek while she turns her cheeks to another man's penis.</spoiler>

>> No.8435105

[spoiler]>>8435102
Nah, she told me who the real father is, and he's not black. Actually the guy was a pretty good friend of mine, I was the one who introduced the two. (Though not with the intention that I'd wind up raising his baby one day.)</spoiler>

>> No.8435116

[spoiler]>>8435111
She tells me they were.</spoiler>

>> No.8435111

[spoiler]>>8435105
Were they both incredibly drunk? Because if they weren't you are going to end up raising a lot of children who look nothing alike.</spoiler>

>> No.8435114

[spoiler]>>8435090
You are the most pathetic person I have ever encountered in my entire life. And I lurk /jp/. What does that say? You might love her, but she is just using you to raise her kid. If she gave a fuck about you she wouldn't have slept around. You can be in denial all you want, but don't expect anyone to cosign on your bullshit.</spoiler>

>> No.8435117

[spoiler]>>8435090
You're a sad, pathetic little man. It would be bad enough if it was yours, but it's not and she slept with another man? And you forgave her?

Full fucking retard, congratulations.</spoiler>

>> No.8435122

[spoiler]>>8435114
What would even be the point of using me? I have no job, no money. She's been supporting ME for two years now, and we've both agreed that I'd do great as a stay-at-home-dad. So she's using me for, what, free childcare? It could certainly be worse than that.</spoiler>

>> No.8435120

[spoiler]>>8435090
>Look, people make mistakes.
There are mistakes you can forgive.
Like forgetting a birthday or accidentally deleting save game data.
Then there are things you shouldn't forgive because the price is too high.
This includes cheating on your partner.

Here's some advice, if you want a happy 3D relationship. Never, ever date second hand goods.</spoiler>

>> No.8435127

[spoiler]>>8435105
Dude you are fucking stupid, once whores cheat, they will do it again and again because they can get away with it. God, do you know why we say 3DPD in the first place? You are one dumb fucking nigger and deserve to be taken advantage of. I bet she was hoping that you would dump her, so shes gonna keep doing shit behind your back till you find out about it till you lose it, or till she runs you dry. You better not come back here crying about how your 3DPD hurt your feelings so bad and you can't trust anyone anymore and want us to post encouraging comments because I'm just gonna fucking laugh at your dumb ass.</spoiler>

>> No.8435129

[spoiler]Make sure to involve the real father with the raising of your child.

It's important to have all parties participate.

Also don't be afraid to tell your child that you like cuckholding.

It's important to be honest and direct with children..</spoiler>

>> No.8435130

[spoiler]>>8435120
Really? I'd think that the opposite would be true. If you date someone for whom you are their first serious relationship, then it's inevitable that eventually they will start to wonder what else is out there. While someone who has already played the field a bit won't feel the same way.</spoiler>

>> No.8435131

[spoiler]This isn't even ironic shitposting, this is just shitposting. And people are responding to it.</spoiler>

>> No.8435133

[spoiler]>>8435129
Well, I did sit him down and talk to him about it. He actually did say he wants to be involved, but honestly I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. I'll at least allow him to visit once in a while, though.</spoiler>

>> No.8435140

[spoiler]>>8435111
>Were they both incredibly drunk?
Unlike what you might think, this doesn't make people do something they otherwise wouldn't do.
In other words, drunkenness isn't an excuse. If she slept with someone else while drunk, she would have slept with them sober as well.</spoiler>

>> No.8435142

[spoiler]>>8435122
Dude, there is nothing worse than free child care, thats the maximum bitch move that should piss off any man, ESPECIALLY IF ITS NOT EVEN YOUR OWN GODDAMN KID. I don't see how anyone could be so desperate to be in a relationshit that they'd take this sort of treatment.</spoiler>

>> No.8435143

[spoiler]>>8435122
Ok, what the fuck am I reading?

You know what, maybe it's good that you're going to raise another man's child, because your genes clearly need to get out of the pool.</spoiler>

>> No.8435151

[spoiler]The lack of sage in this thread proves how many offboarders are really on /jp/.</spoiler>

>> No.8435153

[spoiler]>>8435142
Okay, but she's still not going to come after me for money or anything like that. Her family is rich (which is how she supports both of our lifestyles) and I've got nothing to come after. Hell, I'd probably be on the street if she dumped me.</spoiler>

>> No.8435154
File: 52 KB, 612x762, virgin = happy mariage 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8435154

[spoiler]>>8435130
>I'd think that the opposite would be true.
Nope, normalfags like to use that excuse (mostly women and cuckolds) but the reality is that the exact opposite is true.</spoiler>

>> No.8435159

[spoiler]>>8435151
You need to take it easy this thread is hilarious.</spoiler>

>> No.8435165

[spoiler]>>8435122
You just stated why.
>we've both agreed that I'd do great as a stay-at-home-dad
you think she wants to raise that kid alone while she works a job and goes out fucking other guys? Nope. You are so in denial it makes me fucking sick. I want to slap some goddamnned sense into you, but only because you cant see the fucking truth. You think this is the first time in history this has happened? You think you are the only one? You'll find out the hard way then smart guy. Enjoy raising some whore's kid for the next 18 years while you wonder where she is at night. Get a fucking grip man... I'm only so blunt because i've seen this shit happen like a few times now with friends of mine. It always plays out the same fucking way and they were all just like you. It never ends well.</spoiler>

>> No.8435170

[spoiler]>>8435154
Oh, you again.

When you will end that insufferable delusion of yours?</spoiler>

>> No.8435172

[spoiler]>>8435159
As hilarious as it is, it's not /jp/-related (then again, hardly any of the other ones are) and stupid shit like this belongs on >>>/b/.</spoiler>

>> No.8435173

[spoiler]>>8435165
Neither of us work. Her family supports both of us.</spoiler>

>> No.8435175

[spoiler]>>8435153
So she's paying you back for letting you leech. Watch how she cheats around while at "work" and you are stuck with a kid. It's a fucking shackle, enjoy not being able to do anything fun for the next 13 years and then have to deal with a slutty child wondering about how this all could have been avoided if you asked her parents for a fucking job for compensation for their daughter being a slut and left so you can live your own life. Theres one thing being a NEET, but when you are a slave with no fucking dignity, come on man.</spoiler>

>> No.8435185

[spoiler]+ 67 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

I'm starting to think this batch of trolls is more autistic and dedicated than the regulars.</spoiler>

>> No.8435187
File: 31 KB, 498x282, Fucking Weeaboos.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8435187

[spoiler]>Hey /jp/, my girlfriend just told me she was pregnant... What do I do?
>67 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.
/jp/ sure is shitty today</spoiler>

>> No.8435190
File: 168 KB, 1087x1250, virgin = happy mariage 3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8435190

[spoiler]>>8435154
More recent graph.

>>8435153
Didn't you know. Women are terribly selfish creatures and the state enables them to do so.
If she kicks you out while the state thinks of you as the legal father you will be in serious shit.
You will have to pay, you don't get a choice.
If you can't pay, it's jail for you.</spoiler>

>> No.8435198

[spoiler]>>8435170
Why can't you normals handle the truth.
It's pretty sad, and I'm saying that on /jp/.</spoiler>

>> No.8435201

[spoiler]This can't be real can it?

This has to be fake. It's the stupidest thing I have ever read. And yet I cannot look away.</spoiler>

>> No.8435205

[spoiler]>>8435173
If dozens of dozens of people trying to get you to see how badly you've been tricked won't work, then nothing will. You just have to waste your life and experience it yourself to know you were wrong I guess. Enjoy taking care of her kid while she is out "working".</spoiler>

>> No.8435211

[spoiler]>>8435205
I don't think she's going to cheat on me again. Also, she said she wants to get married. Would she do that if she was just going to cheat?</spoiler>

>> No.8435219

[spoiler]7/10 OP.
I'm not sure how, but you've created quite the troll thread.</spoiler>

>> No.8435224

[spoiler]>>8435211
>Also, she said she wants to get married. Would she do that if she was just going to cheat?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

FUCK MY SIDES.

Is this what a NEET romance is like? Somebody make an NTR doujin about this shit.</spoiler>

>> No.8435225

[spoiler]>>8435190
>>8435190
More like pathetic beta virgins === unable to cheat since they just got lucky and too scared to divorce</spoiler>

>> No.8435228

[spoiler]>>8435211
Yeah, so then if you change your mind you have to pay child-support to her or go to jail. I'm fucking telling you man get out while you still can. Are you that desperate? I hate to admit this, as a hikko myself, But all of us have more potential than THAT. I mean jesus. I'd rather be alone than raising a kid for a girl that doesn't even love me. And if you can't see it, you are in major denial or just plain trolling man...</spoiler>

>> No.8435231

[spoiler]>>8435228
But like I said, she's been supporting me for 2 years now. If I broke up with her I'd be on the street.</spoiler>

>> No.8435239

[spoiler]>>8435231
>she supports you
>she wants to marry you
I'm sorry, but if you're going to troll at least stick to the possible.

That just isn't how women work.</spoiler>

>> No.8435253
File: 51 KB, 558x374, Trolling.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8435253

[spoiler]>>8435239</spoiler>

>> No.8435255

[spoiler]>>8435239
Maybe, unlikely as it may seem to you people, she actually doesn't want to take advantage of me. I mean, hell, as I've been saying, she has nothing to gain from it besides possibly some free childcare, but I honestly do not think changing a baby's diaper in between my eroge sessions or whatever would be THAT huge of an imposition. And who knows, it might actually be kind of interesting? You know, feel like my life is actually worth something for once? We may not be genetically related, but to that kid I will be a father, and that means something.</spoiler>

>> No.8435257

[spoiler]>>8435225
>beta
>Women
Only men can be beta, even the most pathetic excuses of women can easily get laid.</spoiler>

>> No.8435259

[spoiler]>>8435255
It's like you don't realize just how huge a financial burden children are.</spoiler>

>> No.8435268

[spoiler]>>8435259
A burden to her. Once again, she pays for 100% of our expenses. (Or rather, her family does.) And she knows damn well that she couldn't get a cent out of me, even if they threatened to throw me in jail.</spoiler>

>> No.8435275

[spoiler]First, let's get the obligatory out of the way:

>84 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

Real, /jp/.

>>8435228
Do people with zero income have to pay child support?</spoiler>

>> No.8435276

[spoiler]>>8435268
Why don't you get that this "relationship" won't last.
And when it's over you won't get a choice. She doesn't need to threaten you, the state will do it for her.</spoiler>

>> No.8435278

[spoiler]>>8435053
That's beyond the limits of beta, that defies the entire greek alphabet, this is a man who would stare down NTR into oblivion, the legendary supersubmissive man!</spoiler>

>> No.8435282

[spoiler]>>8435268
Go for it then.</spoiler>

>> No.8435289

[spoiler]Now THIS is shitposting. Wish I had some popcorn, because this is quite entertaining.</spoiler>

>> No.8435301

[spoiler]Too bad coathangers are mostly plastic these days.

Good thing a baseball bat works just as well.</spoiler>

>> No.8435297

[spoiler]Are you a virgin OP?</spoiler>

>> No.8435308

[spoiler]>>8435275
He's male.
Therefore he'll have to pay alimony and child support by default. He could probably void the child support though, as it's not his child, I don't exactly remember how that works.
And since he has zero income, that means going to jail.</spoiler>

>> No.8435310

[spoiler]>>8434820
Do you even have to ask?
FALCON PUNCH!</spoiler>

>> No.8435312

[spoiler]>>8435275
>Do people with zero income have to pay child support?
Yes.
Our system is full with misandric shit like that.</spoiler>

>> No.8435328

[spoiler]>>8435308
>He could probably void the child support though
Depends on the state he lives in but in most states he will be considered the legal father if he's in a relationship with the mother.
Especially if they get married.

But to OP, remember this. It's not because the state sees you as the legal father on child support that they will see you as the father for custody or visitation rights.</spoiler>

>> No.8435330

[spoiler]>>8435120
>There are mistakes you can forgive.
Uh, I guess so.
>Like accidentally deleting save game data.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?</spoiler>

>> No.8435333

[spoiler]>>8435308
>>8435312
I admit that I don't know the first thing about this kind of source, but is there a source on this? I thought the amount of child support you had to pay was calculated as a proportion of your income, which in this case would be zero.</spoiler>

>> No.8435343

[spoiler]>>8435333
Kind of stuff, I mean.</spoiler>

>> No.8435349

[spoiler]>>8435333
Google</spoiler>

>> No.8435375
File: 25 KB, 511x378, Koishi wie bitte.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8435375

[spoiler]>>8435255
>she actually doesn't want to take advantage of me
>woman doesn't want to take advantage of her cuckholded man-bitch
>woman doesn't want to take advantage of any man
>human being doesn't want to take advantage of any other human being

Bist du ein Zauberer?</spoiler>

>> No.8435378

[spoiler]>>8435375
You know, when you step out of your jaded little circle of paranoia, you might realize that the world really isn't as bad of a place as you think.</spoiler>

>> No.8435379

[spoiler]>>8435349
I can't, Google's closed today.</spoiler>

>> No.8435392

[spoiler]>>8435378
She cuckolded him.
I'd say that's taking advantage of his trust.
If she can take advantage of something this important she can't be trusted.</spoiler>

>> No.8435394

[spoiler]>>8435392
It was a one-time mistake, during the course of a two year relationship.</spoiler>

>> No.8435400
File: 184 KB, 481x360, Koishi eindrucksvoll.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8435400

[spoiler]>>8435378
As if you'd trick me that easily. Stepping out of the safe zone is the easiest way to loose one's foot.</spoiler>

>> No.8435406

[spoiler]>>8435375
>>8435378
OP won't be able to handle it once he realizes how hard and annoying it is to look after children. That's not a job suitable for men, we have developed brains for a reason.
Also, the world is a scarrier and much more terrible place than we think. So no, don't go outside. We are only capable of feeling good about ourselves and people around us eventually because we can focus on specific things while ignoring major deals.</spoiler>

>> No.8435409

[spoiler]>>8435378
HAHAHHAHA</spoiler>

>> No.8435411

[spoiler]>>8435394
It's the kind of mistake that usually means the end of a relationship.
Unless you already have children of your own and/or have been together for oh so many years in which case you may keep the family together for the sake of not dealing with bullshit burocracy and child psychologists etc.</spoiler>

>> No.8435412

[spoiler]>>8435378
i hop eyou're joking</spoiler>

>> No.8435424

[spoiler]>>8435411
I must add that even if the couple has been together for at least a decade and has children in no case keeping the bastard would even be considered, this is ridiculous.</spoiler>

>> No.8435433

[spoiler]A normal person would talk the girl into aborting.

Then he would dump her.

Eventually get a new place to live, a job, new people around, forget about that story and get on with your life.</spoiler>

>> No.8435445

[spoiler]>>8435394
>It was a one-time mistake, during the course of a two year relationship.
A 2 year relationship, you haven't had sex with her and she got pregnant.
And you believe her when she says she only cheated on you once.
I bet your "friend" is laughing his ass of every time he plows your girlfriend.</spoiler>

>> No.8435454

[spoiler]Either the OP samefagged every response to this thread (including this one) or /jp/ is incredibly trollable tonight.</spoiler>

>> No.8435458

[spoiler]>>8435433
I haven't read this troll thread, but that sounds like an awesome thing to pull on a girl.</spoiler>

>> No.8435593
File: 62 KB, 248x276, 1326494822660.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8435593

[spoiler]You are going to leave that horrible woman right now OP!
Dont you see we just want the best for you? Dont you see you are going to marrie a whore!

You are not going to find happiness this way!</spoiler>

>>
Reply to thread [?]Don't expect anything heroic. Your post will not be uploaded to the original board.
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