/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

"If you return to college and get a job, I'll give you a blowjob!"

[Anonymous No.]

Deal.

[Anonymous No.]

i won't do either, but i'll still put my penis in your anus

[Anonymous No.]

I already finished college can I get half a blowjob

[­­­­­­Anonymous No.]

Fuck off, I'm trying to masturbate.

[Anonymous No.]

I don't want to work or go to school though.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm in community college. Do I have to drop out then return?

[Anonymous No.]

>that feeling when I graduated college a year ago and still don't have a job
>forevernoblowjob

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380141
Don't worry, I'm 24 and just now starting college.

[Anonymous No.]

sorry i already dropped out

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380151
how come?

[Anonymous No.]

I wouldn't do it in exchange for a one time thing like that.
But even if I were to do so, I don't really want a blowjob.
My libido is normal, and I'm not that intent on becoming a wizard, but I'd simply rather have something else.
Like a hug.
Or having a girl hold my hand while I fall asleep.
Things like that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380151
How old is too old to start college/university?

As in, doing an undergraduate degree for the first time. No other education since 18.

[ZUN !barYV1VtIA No.]

>>8380141
That feeling when just turned 28 and still virgin.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380164
When I had my short stint with university, there was one 24 year old dude and a lady just under 30, just in our 30~ person group. It's not that uncommon to see older folks there.

[Anonymous No.]

Reported so hard my reporting hand (right, fyi) gained a life of its own, clicking my mouse rapidly for 3 hours straight with such a tenacity it became clear arthiritis was the least of my worries, so clear was it that I could lose MY ENTIRE HAND to this bizarre possession. Suddenly my mouse smashed through my floor, pulling down my report hand as a hapless hostage. Smoke filled my bedroom and I woke up god knows how many hours later in a small village south of Aokigahara.

The people of this modest commune emerged slowly from their shacks, all of them viewing me with what I can only describe as suspicion mixed with awe. Suddenly they began throwing spears into the air and running towards me. I SHAT BRICKS, but then they GRABBED ME and LUNGED ME INTO THE AIR, praising my name and kissing me. The chieftan came down later and over a feast-for-one explained I was to be crowned The Chosen One, the Kamisama of Reporting foretold in Nihonese folklore to appear in the year 2012. At this moment an old Japanese woman - she must've been 85 years old at least - began doing some kind of dance, spinning around in circles whilst singing "Sorairo Days" and throwing confetti into the air. I was DOWN with this state of affairs, let me tell you.

For 300 years I trained with the chieftan in his private dojo, reporting shitty threads, every day becoming quicker. At first I could report 10 threads per minute. After only 2 weeks I was up to 5 threads per second. After a century my KTPM (kuso thread per minute) rate rose to and stalled at 200 per second.

On the last day he graced our planet, my sensei bestowed one last task to me: the reporting of this thread, the shittest of all shit threads.

I did not respond with words. Rather, through our eyes he knew I would obey.

This one's for you, Otousan.

Repoted

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380170
That feeling when 21 and lost my chance of becoming a wizard, but I'm still no better off than any of you in any way.

In fact I feel quite isolated among you guys...

[Anonymous No.]

Reported so hard my reporting hand (right, fyi) gained a life of its own, clicking my mouse rapidly for 3 hours straight with such a tenacity it became clear arthiritis was the least of my worries, so clear was it that I could lose MY ENTIRE HAND to this bizarre possession. Suddenly my mouse smashed through my floor, pulling down my report hand as a hapless hostage. Smoke filled my bedroom and I woke up god knows how many hours later in a small village south of Aokigahara.

The people of this modest commune emerged slowly from their shacks, all of them viewing me with what I can only describe as suspicion mixed with awe. Suddenly they began throwing spears into the air and running towards me. I SHAT BRICKS, but then they GRABBED ME and LUNGED ME INTO THE AIR, praising my name and kissing me. The chieftan came down later and over a feast-for-one explained I was to be crowned The Chosen One, the Kamisama of Reporting foretold in Nihonese folklore to appear in the year 2012. At this moment an old Japanese woman - she must've been 85 years old at least - began doing some kind of dance, spinning around in circles whilst singing "Sorairo Days" and throwing confetti into the air. I was DOWN with this state of affairs, let me tell you.

For 300 years I trained with the chieftan in his private dojo, reporting shitty threads, every day becoming quicker. At first I could report 10 threads per minute. After only 2 weeks I was up to 5 threads per second. After a century my KTPM (kuso thread per minute) rate rose to and stalled at 200 per second.

On the last day he graced our planet, my sensei bestowed one last task to me: the reporting of this thread, the shittest of all shit threads.

I did not respond with words. Rather, through our eyes he knew I would obey.

This one's for you, Otousan.

Reported

[ZUN !barYV1VtIA No.]

>>8380164
Any age is fine. You see all sorts of people in classes.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm going to back to college.
Only a blowjob will make this shit worth it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380181
I would never suck your cock, dude.

[Anonymous No.]

I couldn't even handle an online class.

[Anonymous No.]

University is complete shit

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380164
Nobody gives a shit, tons of old people come back later in life to study in another field. You'll see people anywhere from 18 to 40.

No one will pay attention to you if you don't want them to.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380206
yeah most people at my college were drones. nobody talked to each other before and after class

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380199
The Stanford ones?

I forgot to sign up. I guess "I'll do it tomorrow" sort of has a time limit.
Not that I'd have done any of the work anyway.

[None !Nipaa0mi0. No.]

>>8380114
Who are you and how did you get past security?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380206
> 18 to 40
I'm only 28 but this makes me feel bad.
I only have 12 more years to finally enrol in university.
Holy shit I'm dying.

[Anonymous No.]

HELL no.
Buy me a figure, then we'll talk.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380227
Dude calm down. This guy on my class was like 65 and nobody gave a shit.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm a man without motivation, one thing I would really like to do is teach english in Japan. I know this is no amazing job but It would be fine for me, the only problem Is I'm turning 21 in march and still have no serious college education. Do I give up and live the rest of my life with regrets and in my room or do I try and get turned down for the job when they realized I started so late?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8380114
WOMAN! Vile piece of Adam's rib!
Don't you know that you are the Eve?
You are the devil's door;
You're the one who broke the seal of that forbidden tree
You're the one who persuaded him whom the devil was not valiant enough to attack.
That easily you destroyed God's image, MEN
And because of your desertion, the rightful Son of God had to die.
I SHALL NOT FALL IN YOUR TRAP! I SHALL NOT FALL!

[Anonymous No.]

I already graduated college and I have a job. Suck my cock, dude.