My dad's codependant, that probably has a lot to do with it. He used to expect me to do something amazing with my art, but that's because he doesn't know how hopeless that actually is. My family is all behind me on the art thing, they tell me how creative and good I am, but I haven't shown them anything in years so it's like this huge lie they tell me. They keep saying it /jp/. They keep telling me how good I am and what I should do and it's crushing me. I've tried being normal, but it keeps coming back to guilt over my familys expectations on my art, if not that then it'd been some kind of sabotage to get me to stay here stuck in my room. My art isn't even that good, hell I'm probably not even mediocre.
Their expectations are crushing me though, I can barely stand to leave my room because it feels like everything they say is just an extention of these expectations that I can never meet. If I actually was successful I'd feel the same way, that I'd never do enough or be enough to satisfy their expectations so I don't know why I'd try. Part of me knows I shouldn't care what they think, but then they're the ones who are housing me and I can't function in society. Disappointing them is terrifying so I answer things as vague as I can, if I ever told them the truth of how unproductive I am I think they'd just kick me out and I'd have nowhere to stay.