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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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8314154 No.8314154 [Reply] [Original]

Hey guys, I found this awesome touhou video when I was looking around youtube, have any of you seen it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkgK8eUdpAo

Really well done, the song was great too.

>> No.8314162

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

>> No.8314163

Holy shit, what is that?! Thanks OP. It's awesome!!!! OVER 9000!!

>> No.8314166

I thought it was going to be math class.

>> No.8314174

>>8314163
>>>/b/

>> No.8314176

Is this the new face of shitposting?

>> No.8314177

>>8314174
Ebin!!! 5 stars post! Nice Bump!!

>> No.8314184

>>8314177
It's called noko+sage you mongoloid.

>> No.8314190

>>8314184
Holy shit man?! I don't know!! Thanks!!! Nice info!!!!! Oh God!!

>> No.8314192

>>8314176
Pretty much.

>> No.8314193

It's not shitposting if it's ironic.

>> No.8314206

>>8314184
and this is called a bump fagget

>> No.8314215

Wow thats so kawaii, what anime is this from?

In all seriousness though I also expected maths class

>> No.8314225

this is my story it happened to me recently

>Be 20
>Virgin
>Never had a girlfriend before
>Going on a date
>Take her to Mexican restaurant
>Walk in
>Tables, tables everywhere
>We sit at a table close to where a group of girls are sitting
>Oh well, they seem to be ignoring us
>Sit down and order food
>Nervous as fuck
>Not sure what to say
>Sweating a little
>Food comes and it's going ok
>I panic a little when she asks about other dates I've been on but I cover it up pretty well
>It's going ok.
>Group of girls at the other table are getting loud
>Laughing loudly making jokes
>One of them knocks her plate with her elbow and a potato falls from her plate
>It lands on the floor next to me
>I pick it up
>Put it back on her plate
>She just stares at me
>Whole table bursts out laughing
>My girlfriend has this look like "er..wtf are you doing"
>I don't know what to do
>Take the potato from her plate and put it on my plate instead
>Her table laughs more, far more loudly
>Sit in silence whilst their table whispers to each other laughing at intervals

Fuck I don't even know what happened. It just happened so fast.

Feels bad man.

>> No.8314226

This is a bad thread.

>> No.8314238

>>8314225
That's what you get for going out.

>> No.8314242

>>8314225
I remember you
>Be with my homies at a mexican restaurant
>Faggot walks in
>We laugh at his fat ass
>''Accidentally'' drop a potato
>Fag picks it up and puts it on Johnnyboy's plate
>I step up and tell this fag to suck my cock dude
>He stains his pockets with spaghetti
>I unzip my gigantic cock
>As the faggot is sucking i release a torrent of DNA on his face so hard that my cum rips open a rift in time and space and sends him to a cumslave camp at alpha centauri where he sucks cock and licks clean the smegma-infested penises of his bullies

>> No.8314243

>>8314225
Dude this green text would be perfect. It's just missing something.

Maybe instead of potato it could be "guacamole" or something to fit the dinner theme. Then at the end you offer yours to the girl who dropped hers and she's like "nope" and throws it back at your face. But it misses you and hits your girlfriend instead and she starts crying and then you start crying (because every autistmic story always ends with crying).

>> No.8314254

It's nowhere near perfect.

I don't care if spicks are jamming spuds down your throat where you live, Mexican restaurants don't serve fucking "potatoes" here.

I mean, fucking nachos or something. At least try.

>> No.8314259

>>8314254
It's spelled "spics" and if Chinese restaurants serve french fries, then i'm fucking sure they have potatoes in Mexican restaurants too. This is America we're talking about.

>> No.8314264

>>8314225
this might be the first time I actually laughed to a yellowtext story
what are you doing to me /jp/

>> No.8314263
File: 652 KB, 1563x1563, 7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8314263

>potatoes

>> No.8314270

>>8314264
>yellowtext
Is there something wrong with your vision? You might want to go to an optometrist, i think you may be slightly color blind.

>> No.8314271

>Im 15
>In bible camp
>Girl in a wheelchair, who is actually fucking hot as fuck, is sitting in her chair next to the the sports field
>I go up to her and ask if she's ok
>She says yeah, but obviously she's a bit bored to being able to play
>I get a tennis ball and we throw it back and forth
>Later on she texts me from her lodgings (girls and boys in separate areas) asking if I wanna meet at sunset
>Meet the chick, she's folded her chair and is sitting on a blanket so she doesnt seem broken
>2 hours later we're kissing, I tear her clothes off and undress, and fuck her
>It's really hard to control her legs while im on my knees thrusting, as they are flopping about in my one free hand
>Camp leaders come close, I say "Fuck, run" and run away
>I later realize she was disabled and she was lying there naked when the bible leaders came round

>> No.8314273

I always thought the potato was supposed to be out of place. I don't know, it added to the humor for me.

>> No.8314278

>>8314259

And I'm talking about potential pasta.

If any yokel from Dipstick, Anystate, USA can go HURRR THEY DON'T SERVE THAT IN MY LITTLE SHITHOLE TOWN'S BAHR, it's shit spam.

Remember, Japan has 2ch. We're dealing with 4channers here. You gotta dumb shit waaaaay the fuck down.

>> No.8314283

>>8314273
Non sequiturs are complex as HELL.

Spaghetti is funny, but potato isn't as much for some reason. Same syllables too. Dunno why.

>> No.8314288

Here's a theory, what if the one of the girls brought the potato from home?

>> No.8314290

>>8314288

Ohh yeah, like she pulls it out of her purse or something. That might work.

>> No.8314289

>>8314273

I'd probably feel the same if we didn't use "mash potato pussy" in high school. Once I hear the word, I immediately picture overweight Mexicans breathing too loudly when I'm trying to romance the only attractive Hispanic in the tri-state area.

But I suppose potatoes are reassuring if you're accustomed to lumpy, misshapen women.

>> No.8314294

>>8314288

Then she obviously smuggled it from home, which isn't actually Mexico if you're lucky.

But you're shit out of luck if she had a potato in her pussy, because then she was obviously hoping for big black potato-shaped dicks.

>> No.8314297

>>8314289
>>8314278
What in the fuck are you talking about?

>> No.8314305

>>8314297

I don't know, I'm drunk.

Don't put your dick in a baked potato right after it comes out of the oven, let it cool first.

>> No.8316887

bump

>> No.8316943

>>8314305

I'm drunk too but I'm not making dumb attention whoring shitposts.

You're not funny.

>> No.8317032

>>8316943
Wow man, you mad?

>> No.8317041

>>8316943
I'm drunk too!

This thread is about drunks now.

>> No.8317103

>>8317041
Fuck yes

http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm10259823

>>
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