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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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File: 167 KB, 1250x1425, 1212364861465.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831180 No.831180 [Reply] [Original]

This is NOT copypasta. I repeat NOT copypasta.

I know coming to /jp/ for advice is a top notch bad idea, but I honestly have no where else to turn because this situation directly involves my family, and friends.

Let me start from the beginning, I am over 900 years old and my catgirl is 18+. I just finished checking the border and my catgirl is home from playing with Cirno and Tewi. I guess this week her hat I knitted for her was stolen or something, because I walked past her room and she was crying. I walked inside her room to ask her what's up and she hands me a letter - apparently she's up for review by her danmaku school for dismissal. I feel kinda sorry for her so I gave her a hug and one thing led to another and we started making out. This is really weird because I've made out with Yukari before, but my catgirl blows them all out of the water. In the back of my mind lies the fact that she's my catgirl and what we are doing is sick and wrong, but I guess my little Chen has more experience and it felt so fucking good.

Here's the dilemma - after making out, Chen started taking her clothes off and she started pulling my silly hat off. I'm like, hey, what are you doing? She's like, oh come on Ran-sama, aren't you even a LITTLE curious? I felt bad because its true, my catgirl is a cutie and I always wished that she wasn't my shikigami. I've even gone as far as to scream CHEEEEEEEEN to thoughts of doing her. She then said "For tonight, let's not be master and shikigami. I really need this because I feel like shit right now and Yukari won't wake up till late and we aren't going to tell anyone.

I pretty much just fucked my shikigami. No, to be more honest, I just lost my virginity to my Chen. My question, /jp/, is WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW?? What do people usually do after they fuck their catgirl shikigamis?

Pic very related; that's me and my tails.

>> No.831185
File: 131 KB, 300x902, 1213585092404.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831185

>>831180

>> No.831184

I lol'd

>> No.831186

Be happy that the sexual tension is gone.

>> No.831187

Reported for role-playing.

>> No.831195

>>831180
Do it again

>> No.831200

>>What do people usually do after they fuck their catgirl shikigamis?

I read through this entire pasta variation, and then suddenly this came at me like a kick to the balls.

Reminding me of something that could never be.
so ronery ;_;

>> No.831205
File: 61 KB, 200x228, 1213585270507.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831205

>>831187

>> No.831212

copied with the intention of pasting later.

>> No.831221

>>831187
This thread is amusing. Still legitimately deletable/bannable offense though.

>> No.831240

>>831221
I don't agree, it is just a parody of /b/

>> No.831250

This coincides with my interests.

>> No.831286

Needs moar parmesan.

>> No.831335

>>831180

Tell Yukari.

Record the reaction completely as best you can till tape runs out. Put it on the Internet.

Profit.

>> No.831433
File: 25 KB, 761x256, 1213587970052.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831433

Was it good for you?

>> No.831586
File: 82 KB, 600x704, 1213589502876.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831586

Greetings humans,

My name is Yukari, and I laugh at every single one of you. All of you are ugly, peverted, no-lifes who spend every second of their day drooling at stupid ass Touhou pictures. You are everything sad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever got laid? I mean, I guess it's fun depicting me and the other youkai as dickgirls because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to promotions in /jp/.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I had sex with a nine tail shikigami, a honk-honk catgirl and many others in Gensokyo. What have you been doing, other than "jack off to naked fanarts of Gensokyo people"? I also have straight relationships, and have a banging hot boyfriend (He just Sexy Beam'ed me; Shit was SO cash). You are pathetic humans who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my fuck buddy.

>> No.831592

>>831586
yukari doesnt type that way

>> No.831596

>>831586
I lol'd

>> No.831610

>>831586

Straight Yukarin is straight.

>> No.831615

Bravo OP, I tip my cigar to you.

>> No.831626

>she's up for review by her danmaku school for dismissal

I wish I could have went to danmaku school. Would have been more fitting if she was up for review by Yukari.

>> No.831652
File: 5 KB, 200x150, 1213590457784.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831652

>>831586
Hey faggots,

My name is ZUN, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are ungrateful, thieving bastards who spend every second of their day making illegal game copies. Honestly, have any of you ever paid for my games? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of my artwork because of your hyprocritical superiority, but you take this faggotry to a whole new level. This is even worse than turning my characters into dickgirls in your sick fantasies.

Don't be a cheapskate. Just buy the games with your lunch money. It's not that expensive. I am the head of the Shanghai Alice Team, and I worked day and night to create these shooters. But that do you do for a living other than "creating .iso files of anything that came out of Reitaisai"? Thanks to you I am broke, and had to spend my nights sober (I couldn't buy beer, I am SO out of cash). You are all criminals who should be put to jail. Thanks for listening.

Pic related: It's me, you thieving bitches.

>> No.831671

>>831592
GrEeTiNgS hUmAnS,

mY nAmE iS yUkArI, aNd I lAuGh At EvErY sInGlE oNe Of YoU. AlL oF yOu ArE uGlY, pErVeRtEd, No-LiFeS wHo SpEnD eVeRy SeCoNd Of ThEiR dAy DrOoLiNg At StUpId AsS tOuHoU pIcTuReS. yOu ArE eVeRyThInG sAd In ThE wOrLd. HoNeStLy, HaVe AnY oF yOu EvEr GoT lAiD? i MeAn, I gUeSs It'S fUn DePiCtInG mE aNd ThE oThEr YoUkAi As DiCkGiRls BeCaUsE oF yOuR oWn InSeCuRiTiEs, BuT yOu AlL tAkE tO a WhOlE nEw LeVeL. tHiS iS eVeN wOrSe ThAn JeRkInG oFf To PrOmOtIoNs In /Jp/.

DoN't Be A sTrAnGeR. jUsT hIt Me WiTh YoUr BeSt ShOt. I'm PrEtTy MuCh PeRfEct. I HaD sEx WiTh A nInE tAiL sHiKiGaMi, A hOnK-hOnK cAtGiRl AnD mAnY oThErs iN gEnSoKyO. wHaT hAvE yOu BeEn DoInG, oThEr ThAn "JaCk OfF tO nAkEd FaNaRtS oF gEnSoKyO pEoPlE"? i AlSo HaVe StRaIgHt ReLaTiOnShIpS, aNd HaVe A bAnGiNg HoT bOyFrIeNd (He JuSt SeXy BeAm'D mE; sHiT wAs So CaSh). YoU aRe PaThEtIc HuMaNs WhO sHoUlD jUsT kIlL yOuRsElVeS. tHaNkS fOr LiSteNiNg.

PiC rElAtEd: It'S mE aNd My FuCk BuDdY.

>> No.831675
File: 6 KB, 267x240, 1213590752545.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831675

>>831586

>> No.831676

>>831671

I don't see any pic. I don't think you have a fuck buddy. Enjoy your masturbation.

>> No.831681

Hey OP, I was going to sage you for pasting faggotry, but then you redeemed yourself. Good going.

>> No.831698

>This is NOT copypasta yet

And to be honest if you've made out with Yukari this isn't much different than her own situation.

>> No.831700

>>831671
its still missing something add more random lols

>> No.831703
File: 266 KB, 599x2593, 1213591220351.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831703

>>831586

Now is great time to mention how chubby you are and how your boyfriend comes here too. Yeah.

>> No.831710
File: 99 KB, 640x480, 1213591312774.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831710

>>831652
Hey ZUN,

My nickname is Anonymous, and I hate everything about you. You are nothing but a drunk, lolicon fetishist programmer who spend every second of your day creating shitty shooting games. Honestly, haven't you got anything else to do? I admit I have a lot of fun making fun of your horrible artwork because of my obvious superiority, but you take your complaining to a whole new level. This is even worse than excusing your shitty drawing skills due to your alcoholism.

Don't be a crybaby. Just accept the truth with an open heart. It's pretty much the same everywhere. People rather download via torrent rather than buy the games, and they don't feel guilty of it. What you gonna do about it, other than "Make another whiny blog post about why pirating copies is ruining the game industry?", You are a drunk faggot and you should just kill yourself. Thanks for listening.

Pic unrelated: I don't feel like revealing myself, bitch.

>> No.831716

>>831710
I forgot "I also download mp3, and a bunch of movies (limewire is convinient; It saved me A LOT of cash)".

>> No.831746
File: 499 KB, 989x1513, 1213592126770.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831746

>>831586
>banging hot boyfriend

>> No.831747
File: 107 KB, 450x338, 1213592155848.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831747

Listen up you disgusting pigs,

I recently logged onto my 16 year old son's computer because I'm having trouble with my office machine. Right on his desktop he has a folder marked "4chan /jp/ Touhou". I was happy to discover that he was a fan of my games, but I opened it up and was HORRIFIED by what I saw. It was laden with child pornography of my daughters, disgusting dickgirl versions of Reimu, and all around deviant, sickening images. You people let my son onto your website without ANY age verification, he was looking at Touhou-related content that I never imagined could exist.

I will be filing legal papers soon unless you take down this offensive site AS WELL AS all of your adult Touhou-related material, or change your policies so that minors may not access it. In addition, I will be petitioning your webmistress "Moot" to pay for my psychiatrist fees (and no doubt my son's as well), which are going to be substantial considering what I've seen.

Sincereley,
Junya "ZUN" Ota

>> No.831750

>>831716
>Limewire

>> No.831753

>>831747

If I had signed ZUN artwork, I'd hotglue that shit so fast it would catch on fire. Because it was hot.

>> No.831757

>>831747
Brilliant.

>> No.831758

>>831180
So wait a second, you were a virgin up to that point? You're saying you NEVER got raped by Yukari?

>> No.831761

>>831750

Remember when Limewire still worked? Yeah, me too.

>> No.831766

Oddly enough, I was able to download a few Touhou doujins from Limewire yesterday. All the while the only thing available was mp3s, movies, porns and some ebooks.

>> No.831763

>>831746
THE hottest touhou.

>> No.831814

I'll be saving all of these copypasta for later use.

>>
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