/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Do you ever feel like you might have actually have autism (medical autism not just /jp/ autism) that has never been diagnosed? I feel like I might have because I have a developing dyslexia (trouble learning and mixing up words/letters in writing and speech) now and even in my speech I can't talk correctly anymore, nothing else can really explain it. In speech, I either pause in the middle of a simple sentence to think of what I wanted to say or I say something that sounds similar but is not the right word at all. Other times I don't even know how to say I what I want to say and just say something else or nothing at all. I even have a lisp for certain words. I end up embarrassing myself when I can't even get a simple point across and I end up not wanting to talk and regress even further as the days go on. I feel like something is really wrong with me but I don't know what. My parents say it's just because it's because of my high anxiety and stress and that I should continue seeing my doctors (only talked to the doctors about it recently) but I don't know anymore. Am I overthinking things and it's normal for everyone or could I be a high functioning autistic of sorts? Do you have similar problems? Are you or you not diagnosed with any mental health issues? You don't have to take me serious if you don't want to but I feel like crying right now. To make it up for have some Mokou pants.

[Anonymous No.]

Clown pants.

[Anonymous No.]

that's schizophrenia

[Anonymous No.]

I told my mom that I was autistic, and she just laughed really hard at me. She's a pediatrician and deals with autistic 5 year olds all day.

[Anonymous No.]

Just think about how you can improve your speech and language skills, being isolated from human contact does this shit to you.

[Anonymous No.]

You just need practice talking to people. The verbal issues are supposed to occur in early childhood.

I trip over words and stutter and stumble myself as well

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278582
No, It's not exactly like I think I'm in a different world. Well I do feel like an existentialist sometimes but I don't feel like I am a different person every day or something. Rather it's like my speech and thoughts have deteriorated lately and getting nervous about it makes me worse. I don't care about much anymore and I just want to browse /jp/ all day. It really doesn't help that that's the only thing I do, do all day, if that makes sense. I can't keep it forever since I need money and for that I need to get a job. However, it's difficult like this, I can't hold down a job like this, I couldn't even do it when I wasn't a complete social failure. Damn it, if I could just have money I wouldn't care if I became really sick as long as I could pay a caretaker or something.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278597
I can't keep at it* or rather, I can't keep doing this forever*

[Anonymous No.]

Yep OP, then I went and got diagnosed and now I get money for it.

[Anonymous No.]

I have a few traits of autism but I don't believe that I'm actually autistic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278593
I'll try. It feels really embarrassing to talk aloud to myself in this paper thin wall apartment. I'll really feel like I've started to go loony if I did this too. I'm very err hypochronriac I think.
>>8278595
Does it get in the way of your daily life? Do you have a job? I will try, I can always talk to my parents and my baby brothers, err little brothers. It just feels sort of odd though. I don't have anyone else to talk with.

>>8278601
Did you get diagnosed with autism or something else? I don't think I can go down that long winding route to get the money, it seems like having a job would be just as painful to do, but at least getting a livable wage out of it.

I wish I had access to an array of magic meds for free.

[Anonymous No.]

>I even have a lisp
You're lucky, I have a python.

[Pygmalion !!WBK3GxfZLrx No.]

I don't think I'm autistic. Your sex drive suffers if you're autistic and I've never had any problem getting wet for the guys I bed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278616
Autism, OCD, depression, a touch of schizophrenia, social anxiety, and bi polar disorder. Who knew I had so much going on under the hood, eh?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278616
I have a job, but it's mostly programming, so I don't have to talk much, which doesn't help the problem at all

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278617
Well I have a sea sharp. Started learning it anyway but it's really hard to get by.

>>8278635
Have much trouble was your daily life for you before you applied for disability? Did you ever want to kill yourself? How did you make the decision to apply for disability and go through with all of it?

>>8278636
Funny you mention that, that is what I am going to try to do, I have nothing else I can do. I used to be alright at math so I'm hoping I can revive my skills and passion for problem solving and stuff but so far it's not working. I'm hoping in time if I do have a mental disorder that it will work for me and allow me to do repetitive tasks without effort or pain. It only works for here though. Was it hard getting that job? Did your manner of speech and stumbling get in the way? I think I can work on the stumbling a little but I can't fix my speech dyslexia I'm develloping.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278616
I wouldn't be so worried about getting autism money being hard. If you're touched in the head, you'll probably see it. Won't be enough to live on, though.

[Anonymous No.]

NONE OF YOU IS AN AUTIST.
AUTIST PEOPLE DON'T COMMUNICATE WITH OTHER PEOPLE, NOT EVEN ON THE INTERNET.
HENCE, AUTIST
AUTO-ISM
AUTO=SELF
YOU AREN'T AUTISTIC, YOU ARE JUST RETARDED.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278655
>Have much trouble was your daily life for you before you applied for disability?

Well, I was doing alright for a little while after my first few years as a hikki, but then I had a mental breakdown and became worse than I've ever been. Wouldn't say I was fit to be in the workforce, if that's what you're asking,

>Did you ever want to kill yourself?

On and off. I probably will, and I know it. Just a matter of when, I think. I'd like to get out on my own and take it easy for a few years first though Can't afford this, so maybe my hand will be forced

>How did you make the decision to apply for disability and go through with all of it?

This was back when the idea was first floating around /jp/. I thought hell, if people like sudo can do it I should be fine. Uncle Remus' guide was good stuff too. I based a lot of my actions on it, and would recommend anyone thinking of applying go search it up in the archive. Now I get my monthly checks. It's just a few hundred short of being able to live on. Might try it anyway, but it'll be a lot of sitting in the dark and eating rice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278671
What about Chris-chan? He is high-level.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278671
Plenty of autistic people learn to communicate. Many high functioning autistics act like normal people and you would not be able to tell just by looking at them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278686
okay.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278681
>Plenty of autistic people learn to communicate.
He's right you are retarded.

[Anonymous No.]

Well considers I only have one online friend and no real life friends and it's been this way for like 4 years, yes I have autism.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278686
He's right, you know.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278677
Oh. If you don't mind talking about it, I would like to hear more about it. Ah I see. Were you able to ever get hired anywhere and then never showed up or quit after a bit? Or were you just not able to go anywhere? Or you on any medications? Is it only when you feel sad or does it happen even when you are not depressed? I've seen the uncle remus guide but it looks like a lot of hoops and waiting to suffer through, I don't think I could get up and go anywhere these days. Ah well apart from rice I eat chicken my mom makes. Living in the dark woould be even worse if I didn't have a computer and internet. I wish I could help but I can't even help myself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278699
Sorry I'm kind of half sleep, I need to break up the sentences better. To rephrase,

I would like to hear about your life before if you don't mind.

About the suicide part, do you take meds for it?

About the disability benefits, it looks rather extensive, was it tough going through it all of it?

sorry again

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278692
Plenty of wheel chair bound people learn to walk. Many high functioning cripples act like normal people and you would not be able to tell just by looking at them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278689
Self diagnosis or actual diagnosis?

Same here but 5 years.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278699
I had a couple of jobs before I got to be a shut in. Didn't last more than a few weeks, or in the last one's case, a few days. As for being able to go out? It changes, sometimes I want nothing more than to just be away from this room and go out every night for a week at 3Am or so for a walk, then spend the next year locked inside.

I'd like to get some medication, but don't have the insurance for it. So no, not at this time.

>Is it only when you feel sad or does it happen even when you are not depressed?

What, suicidal thoughts? It happens more often when I'm sad. But on a good day I might decide to do it becuase I'm clear headed flawless logic, that.

Think of it like this, it's a bit of work for a lot of money. You'll ultimately put very little into the application process, and if you make it you're better set than you would be trying to find yet another job to walk out of.

As for not being able to pay the electric or buy needless luxuries like food other than rice, that's really only for living alone. Should you go that route. You sound a little touched OP, I'm no doctor, as a matter of fact my judgment isn't even sound, but you'd probably count as crazy enough to get autism bucks if you applied.

[Anonymous No.]

diagnosed aspergers and ocd. can you really get money for this?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8278727
I wrote a lengthy reply but it's not letting me post it for some reason.

Thank you for the reply. Can you talk to them about the insurance over the phone or something? I think they should have to help with that, no?

When I feel down I like to take long naps after eating. I also like to just stare at the ceiling or wall until I doze off.

I am considering applying if my learning programming does not go anywhere. Still everything seems so very difficult.