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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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8222955 No.8222955 [Reply] [Original]

hey girls. there is that bottle of water that i can't open for over a week. it doesn't matter how hard i try it just won't open. now i'm completely out of water. i am thirsty as an african but still all my attempts to open the bottle failed miserably

>> No.8222957
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8222957

show me the bottle

>> No.8222965

Sell it to NASA as new, ultra-strength airlock technology.

>> No.8222985
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8222985

>>8222957
here it is

>> No.8222995

Couldn't you piece the side of the bottle with a knife or pair of scissors?

>> No.8223001

>>8222985

Puncture the body of the bottle and suck out the contents.

>> No.8223002
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8223002

>>8222985
how the HELL Did they get that on..........

>> No.8223008
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8223008

I like how you referred to /jp/ as girls, OP

have you always done that?

>> No.8223042

>>8222955
You pussy. I could open that for you after you suck my cock, dude.

>> No.8223055

>>8222985
Silly Russian bottle.

>> No.8223082
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8223082

>>8223042
and what would we do when you can't open it too?

>> No.8223091

Run it under very warm water, that loosens the plastic bindings and makes it much easier to open.

>> No.8223117

>>8223091
This, except it would be far better if it was hot semen instead. Works everytime.

>> No.8223129

>>8223117
To actually get the semen hot, you'd have to heat it... or the dick it comes out of.

Plus, there's have to actually be a substantial amount, enough to run over it for a good 30 seconds. Considering most /jp/ers masturbate 2~4 times a day, I doubt they have enough semen saved up to do something like that.

Unless you want to stockpile for a few days, but OP said they want their water NOW, not in a few days... so I'm not sure what you're getting at!

>> No.8223137

>>8222985
I like how the windows are covered with card and tape.

>> No.8223161

>>8223157
he wouldn't, and just drank the water*

>> No.8223157

>>8223129
Dude, semen is much warmer than you think. Just rubbing furiously for at least a few seconds is more than enough to heat it. And you don't need that much unless you're a shooter and miss the target which is dumb since you're not going to be playing semen darts with the water bottle, I hope, since that's just silly and irresponsible. If he had water in the first place he would've already followed that advice anyway.

>> No.8223162
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8223162

>>8223091
uhhh i wish i followed your advice first

>>8223117
you silly. where would a little girl like me get hot semen from?

>> No.8223169

>>8223091

>Run it under very warm water

>now i'm completely out of water.

>> No.8223170

>>8223157
Warm =/= hot

>> No.8223174

>>8223162
Russia-kun, why don't you just drink tap? Not always, but in situations like this.Make you strong, like bear.

>> No.8223176 [DELETED] 

Cut it open near the top with a very small knife.

>> No.8223177
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8223177

>>8223162

>> No.8223172

>>8223162
Find a youkai with a penis, any youkai. Or if you can't, knock on your neighbor's door and plead for his help. It's real easy, dude.

>> No.8223186

>>8223176
Funny post, Tokiko!

>> No.8223180

>>8223170
Well then you just need to do it for a minute instead. Then it'll be far more than regular human body temp.

>> No.8223190

Stick the bottle in your ass.
It's warm there.

>> No.8223192

How's it taste Russiakun? Good? Feel better now?

>> No.8223196

>>8223190
That's very unsanitary. I'll stick to my idea of warming up a penis (or in miao's case, scalding the penis for a little bit) and loosening lubing it up with that.

>> No.8223197

>>8223180
It has to be HOT you dingus! Like, hot enough to sting!

>> No.8223204 [DELETED] 

>>8223186
But water bottles are made of soft plastic! It wouldn't be hard, even for a girl.

Also, use sage more and post a bit less often with your trip, or people will call you mean names. I'm not sure if you're ready for the flames yet.

>> No.8223211

>>8223197
>dingus

Why, I never!
I'm just trying to help! Also it doesn't even have to be hot, it just needs to be a little warm.

>> No.8223214

>>8223204
I don't need someone like you to look after me.

And OP already cut the bottle open, just look at the images posted in this thread!

>> No.8223222

>>8223211
I-I'm sorry! I'm not good at arguing

>> No.8223277
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8223277

>>8223174
it's dangerous to drink tap water here. as i heard communist party dumped some heavy drugs there to win the coming elections

>>
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