/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[gensokyo_gal_97 !nLH26A83Ug No.]

A soldier in the army was always being made fun of for being a Christian... one day his drill sergeant tells him to go park one of the jeeps, he says he doesn't know how to drive. The sergeant tells him, pray to your God for help then! So he goes and parks the jeep flawlessly, and as he's getting out he sees all the other soldiers on their knees, looking at him in disbelief, the sergeant is crying. The Christian is like what's the big deal? It wasn't that hard... The sergeant opens up the hood of the jeep. There's no engine in it.

If you ever feel alone in your faith, you're NOT alone!

[Tokiko No.]

>>8205706
What denomination of Christian are you, friend?

[gensokyo_gal_97 !nLH26A83Ug No.]

>>8205717
Catholic.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

I've never seen the purpose of structured faith, but whatever floats your boat.

[Anonymous No.]

It was of been more shocking if it had a Fiat engine in there.

AMIRITE?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205727
the best kind

[Anonymous No.]

Fuck off and kill yourself

[Tokiko No.]

>>8205727
Let's talk some more, what's your AIM/etc?

[Anonymous No.]

A soldier in the army was always being made fun of for carrying spaghetti in his pants... one day his drill sergeant tells him to go park one of the jeeps, he says he doesn't know how to drive. The sergeant tells him, pray to your flying spaghetti monster for help then! So he goes and parks the jeep flawlessly, and as he's getting out he sees all the other soldiers on their knees, looking at him in disbelief, the sergeant is crying. The Christian is like what's the big deal? It wasn't that hard... The sergeant opens up the hood of the jeep. There's no spaghetti falls out of it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205706
The only "Christians" and "Catholics" I know are part of a group who have been stalking me for years and trying to get me to either commit suicide or commit a crime, to be institutionalized so no one will see what criminal scum they are. So called christians can't even speak up for themselves because it would mean prison sentences.
Out of all so-called christians, jews and catlicks I know, none of them are legit, even those in prominent positions behind prestigious gold microphones and sitting on well-known chairs. They are cowards, and if I had to make a decision on being christian based on how they treated me I would still be an atheist. I know no christians or jews, and will testify as such in the high throne of heaven one day.
To my stalkers: kiss it. You have no idea how far you sunk.
Now get this off of /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205727

Spic.

[Anonymous No.]

You join the army when you don't have a drivers license?

Sign me up.

[Anonymous No.]

A gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode

she sed “bbz will u luv me 4evr”

he said “NO..”“

da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine.

boy was cryin and went to pic up her body.

she was ded.

he whispered 2 her corpse “I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever…” (dat mean he luv her moar den 4evr)

…repost dis if u cry evry time…

[Tokiko No.]

>>8205745
Be diabetic, like me. We can't be in the army

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205742

Every time, man.

[ThatFuckingAirlinePilot !!ILFj+iqcCKp No.]

A First Officer in British Airways was always being made fun of for being Rastafarian, one day his Captain tells him to go Fly one of the Citations, he says he isn't type rated on that aircraft. The sergeant tells him, pray to Jah for help then blud! So he goes and flies the Citation flawlessly, when he lands he sees all the other pilots on their knees, looking at him in disbelief, the sergeant is crying. The Rastafarian jumps down like "Whats the big deal? It wasn't that hard!" The Captain opens up the shell of the engine, There were 19 brand new Bang and Olufsen subwoofers and a copy of The Chronic by Dr. Dre inside.

If you ever feel alone in your faith, You're NOT alone!

[Anonymous No.]

A poster on /jp/ was always being made fun of for being a shitposter... one day the meido tells him to go post a quality thread, he says he doesn't know how to make a quality thread. The meido tells him, pray to Japanese Bird for help then! So he goes and posts a quality thread flawlessly, and as he's checking out the thread he sees all the other posters on their knees, trying to suck his cock (dude) in disbelief, the meido is crying. The shitposter is like what's the big deal? It wasn't that hard... The meido opens up the moderation menu of the board. All new posting was disabled.

If you ever feel alone in your faith, you're alone!

[Anonymous No.]

A soldier in the army was always being made fun of for being a atheist... one day his drill sergeant tells him to go park one of the jeeps, he says he doesn't know how to drive. The sergeant tells him, pray to Richard Dawkins for help then! So he goes and parks the jeep flawlessly, and as he's getting out he sees all the other soldiers on their knees, looking at him in disbelief, the sergeant is crying. The Christian is like what's the big deal? It wasn't that hard... The sergeant opens up the hood of the jeep. There was an engine in there.
If you ever feel alone in your faith, you're NOT alone!

[Anonymous No.]

Just tonight i was washing my hands with cold water. I asked God for help in my life and turned the faucet to hot water. Intsantly the water was hot when it usually takes a minute.

Weird, huh?

[gensokyo_gal_97 !nLH26A83Ug No.]

>>8205731
Going to church is like wearing braces. We're all imperfect, so we need to be straightened out. Your teeth are imperfect, so they need to be straightened... whatever. When you say you don't believe in organized religion, or "I'm not religious but I'm spiritual," then you aren't really following the religion, you're just picking and choosing for your OWN convenience. Going back to the dental metaphor, you're basically saying "these braces are too uncomfortable, I will modify them!" So you bend them until they fit around your crooked teeth, and your teeth never get better.

[Anonymous No.]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1TxH0zf07w

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8205779
I'm not even spiritual. I'm agnostic. I don't believe in any sort of higher power, but I won't discount the possibility of a hands-off sort of deity.
By your analogy, my teeth may be crooked, but they function just fine without straightening.

Besides, a man should pay for his sins, not go begging for forgiveness.

[gensokyo_gal_97 !nLH26A83Ug No.]

>>8205801 I don't believe in any sort of higher power, but I won't discount the possibility of a hands-off sort of deity.
So in other words... Either God doesn't exist, or God exists but doesn't do anything? Why not just say you're an atheist then? At the end of the day, God isn't a part of your life, so what's the diff? I don't have anything against atheists, but I'd rather you call yourself an atheist than be an "agnostic" who misrepresents God.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205822
Because he doesn't discount the possibility of there being a God existing? He feels that he can't say definitely that God doesn't exist, as their is no proof against the existence of God. (And probably never will be) Whether or not God factors into his daily life doesn't matter at all. It's all about his beliefs.

[Tokiko No.]

>>8205801
That's not what agnostic means. Go read Huxley's essays again, friend.

>>8205822
My windows live is [e-mail] add me up sugar ;)

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205829

aww yeah tokiko's gettin laid tonight

go get her tiger ;)))))))))))))))))

[gensokyo_gal_97 !nLH26A83Ug No.]

>>8205835 he doesn't discount the possibility of there being a God existing?
Yes he does.

>I won't discount the possibility of a hands-off sort of deity.

"Hands-off deity" is an oxymoron. It's like saying "I don't believe in unicorns, but I won't discount the possibility of hornless unicorns."

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8205822
While I am functionally atheist, the fact I cannot disprove the existence of a god absolutely keeps me from claiming that title. How can one misrepresent an entity that is intangible?

>>8205829
I'm familiar with the actual definition of 'agnostic' as being unable to know truth for certain. However, my usage is a widely accepted, though somewhat inaccurate definition.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8205856
A god need not have any interest in this existence, and can remain hands-off. But my intent was to imply a deity who set the great machine in motion and nothing more.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205868
You're talking about Deism, not agnosticism.

[Tokiko No.]

>>8205846
I get laid hourly. In fact, I blew my load twice this hour.

>>8205870
Don't feed the trolls/morons

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8205870
I'm aware, thanks. But I'm not a Deist, as I don't believe in any god. I'm just saying if there is, He's hands off.

[gensokyo_gal_97 !nLH26A83Ug No.]

>>8205868 set the great machine in motion and nothing more
A machine requires maintenance. Lord knows the human race isn't perfect, we require CONSTANT maintenance. If a god created the universe and just let it do its own thing, that'd be a lousy excuse for a god.

[Tokiko No.]

>>8205887
Define God, sweety-poo

You can't say that "God is the undefinable" because that's a contradiction, by the way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205886
> I'm just saying if there is, He's hands off.
Why?
There are other possibilities.
1. He's an asshole
2. He's been apathetic until now, but may intervene in the future
3. He has intervened in the past, but no evidence is left
4. He's intervening all the time, but the changes are unknowable to you
5. He's not benevolent and the interventions are all negative
6. He's intervening elsewhere, just not earth
etc...

I don't see your reasoning.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8205887
Apparently, you don't believe that God can create perfection. Intriguing.
However, a machine only needs maintenance to extend it's life. There's no reason to believe that if God wound the watch, he only did it to watch it wind down.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8205896
Simplicity is my reasoning. All those things are possible, particularly a malevolent god, but since I have no use in really dwelling on it, none are particularly relevant.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205907
How is being hands off any more simple than being an asshole or apathetic?

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8205902
*disbelieve

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205907
Being hands off implies a policy. Being apathetic is a simpler explanation.

[Tokiko No.]

>>8205902 >>8205907
One post, contrary to popular belief, can hold not only multiple sentences, but also multiple paragraphs! Condense your shit!

[gensokyo_gal_97 !nLH26A83Ug No.]

>>8205892
God is all of the following:

-Omnipotent (can do anything)
-Omniscient (knows everything)
-Omnipresent (is everywhere)
-Eternal (always existed, and always will)
-Benevolent (wants us to lead happy fulfilling lives)
I think that covers it.

In before that Epicurus quote. Evil is a product of humanity, of free will. Taking away free will wouldn't be benevolent.

[Anonymous No.]

What the fuck has god ever done for me?

[Anonymous No.]

Why does this board even exist?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205935
>God is all of the following:
False, the Abrahamic "God" is all of those.

Simply look at Greek/Japanese myths.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205941

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205935
>Taking away free will wouldn't be benevolent.
nigger that would be the most benevolent shit possible

[Anonymous No.]

Why is it that shit threads like this always attract that shit faggot?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205942
He gave you Touhou and /jp/. His name is ZUN.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8205915
I don't draw any sort of line between the two. To me, they are the same. Whether he actively chooses not to or simply doesn't care to come to the same results.

>>8205910
I just opt to attribute evil and misfortune to bad luck and man's own tendency for evil. Supernatural malfeasance just seems needlessly complex.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205935
So he gives us free will, and then damns everyone who doesn't do what he says to hell.
Good policy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205953
Which one?

[Anonymous No.]

be careful around tokiko
hes really annoying
even the shitposters hate him
hes a horrible person
i just cant stand him hes so fucking annoying

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205947
That edit is shit, stick to the original.

[Anonymous No.]

/b/shit and Tokiko, oh boy this thread is going places!

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205960
>That edit is shit
I'm not sure if this is a new joke I'm not up to date with or something, but it's the other way around.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8205924
You'll get over it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205958
see the post below you

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205966

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205975
What? I was in the thread where >>8205947 was created and posted for the first time. OP got called an idiot and people linked to the archive rules.

Or am I being trolled? Oh well, not like it matters.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205959
You should have said, even the Touhoufags hate him. Guy's a huge attention whore, look how he advertises his AIM/whatever on every possible opportunity

[Anonymous No.]

Fuck off jeeps don't park themselves. Not without massive conveyor belt or something else. Christians go to hell!

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205981
just lets leave it at everyone hates him

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205750
I didn't know you were super obese Tokiko, then your time here will be short.

Shitpost as much as you can before you lose those limbs.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205979

[Anonymous No.]

God is all of the following:

-Omnipotent (raises and lowers the sun every day)
-Omniscient (is really smart and shit)
-Canterlotpresent (lives in a castle)
-Equine (has lovely hooves and a long muscular neck)
-Benevolent (wants us to lead happy fulfilling lives according to our cutie marks)
I think that covers it.

In before that Discord quote. Chaos is a product of equinity, of free will. Taking away free will wouldn't be benevolent.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205986
Also see how he only posts in shit threads? I wonder why he even thinks he's a legitimate poster.

[Anonymous No.]

>Delete legitimate pig threads
>Leave this shit.

[Tokiko No.]

>>8205959
wah wah wah

[Anonymous No.]

>>8206021
Yeah faggot, plug your ears and sing, you know this is true.

Fucking shitposter, you managed to be worse than squiddy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8206023
He has diabetes man, leave him alone, he probably haven't even seen his penis in years.

He has it rough, being so obese.

[Tokiko No.]

>>8206032
It's type one diabetes. I'm actually incredibly underweight. My BMI is 14.

>>8206023
Can you please condense your posts? You had enough room to write both of those replies. If you're a slow thinker, go do things in a different tab or something. Or did you just want to bump your thread?

[Labarador !!iuszTExGCNs No.]

>>8206042
Mashiro iro Diabetus

[Anonymous No.]

>>8206042
So you're going to die age 40?

[Tokiko No.]

>>8206053
If I don't die earlier due to other things.

I actually do a good job of managing my blood sugars, so I could live to be in my 60s or 70s if nothing happens. But /jp/ probably won't even be around 10 years from now, so all that's irrelevant.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205742
>b4 da green man came on the sine.
What? Did a car hit her? The green man was Hulk? What the fuck is Sine?

[Anonymous No.]

>>8206078

[Anonymous No.]

>>8206078
You don't know what pedestrian lights are?

[Anonymous No.]

I'll curse this thread in Satan's name. I'll sell my soul, my grandma's soul to give any christian fucking big headache.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8206141
To be fair, they're often white, not green.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8206158
What backwards country do you live in?

Even in glorious nippon it is green.

[PRINNY !nLFbzB/0pw No.]

>>8206169
Here in Midwest US it is white.

[Anonymous No.]

a girl hadv ovary cancer and she was terminally going to die. So she was going to have ovary implants surgery. When the day was that she was having her surgery she said goodbye to her family and told her boyfriend she loved him. She came out of the surgery and had to cancer because she was cured. She saw her family then asked where her boyfriend was and her mom said wait didn’t the doctor tell you who donated the ovaries? shitpost this if you love your boyfriend.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>8206169
The US.

[Anonymous No.]

>>8206169
They're absolutely definitely white everywhere I've seen them in Utah.

$$ohPEOpdPtvRKzO9iCWuH5ZV+Tiqn9/Ocw02zDb1Q2Nu6bOSqptlXfSq1VQeg9HXSRZL8giGfdW/i2iGXQerQiLalERublocl7B
+S6Fol2xkoQA+teRBBQHFIvqhR7sPGwOFcIA0usZHnEyd4bn75Cwc3ZvJkZxr1FuJXpHZ8AV0=

[Anonymous No.]

>>8205706
>>8205717
Well, you two boys can just fuck right off.

You heard me. Take that book of Christianity and shove it so far up your righteous asses that you choke, you soul soliciting pigfuckers.