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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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8127188 No.8127188 [Reply] [Original]

Are you a wizard?

>> No.8127196
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8127196

>> No.8127195

No i am not.

My alcoholic parents sold me to a old couple when i was 11 for a weekend.
I no longer qualify to become one.

>> No.8127200

8 more years

>> No.8127203
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8127203

>>8127195
If true, that is just horrible.

>> No.8127207

I haven't even hugged anyone other than family.
I'll be an almighty wizard.

>> No.8127209

>>8127195
Kind of hot.

>> No.8127229

9 years to go come December. It'll be a long wait.

>> No.8127232

>>8127203
True, your first time has to be with someone you love.

>> No.8127237

What if, after becoming a wizard...

You lost your virginity? Are you still a wizard?

>> No.8127239

Wasn't it 40?

>> No.8127262

I'm on my merry way, I never leave the house so no 3D pig gets in the way.

>> No.8127285

>>8127237
Hey, that's true, what happens?

>> No.8127287

>>8127239
No it's 30.
Older you become, stronger your magic will be.

>> No.8127299

Fuck. What if I only had sex out of obligation, and it was awkward and miserable?

>> No.8127310

>>8127299
Your Wizard Card will never be issued, sucks to be you.

>> No.8127316
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8127316

>> No.8127320

>>8127316
> *

>> No.8127327

5/6 of the way there

>> No.8127335

I'm still an 18 years old, Mage Apprentice.

>> No.8127336

>>8127335
I'm old enough to be your dad.

>> No.8127338

>>8127239
At 40 you'll become a Priest/Sorcerer hybrid.

Crazy.

>> No.8127346

>>8127338

But priests get laid regularly. And they also stop many young men from ever becoming a wizard.

>> No.8127364
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8127364

>>8127338

No you fucking moron, you become fairy king

>> No.8127365

>>8127346
Priests are world renowned as pedophiles, dude. They won't get laid since that creeps most of the normal girls.

>> No.8127370
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8127370

>>8127365

>> No.8127375

>>8127370
So what were you trying to point out?

Please enlighten me.

>> No.8127376
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8127376

>> No.8127381
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8127381

>> No.8127394

>>8127375

... Read the post again and ponder a bit on the last sentence. Perhaps the point of that post will come to you without me having to explain it.

>> No.8127398
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8127398

>> No.8127399

>>8127381
bump?

>> No.8127401

>>8127381
Why do i have this feeling this poor guy is going to die a painful death?..

>> No.8127403
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8127403

>> No.8127404

I'm almost there. I practice my Magic Missile every day.

>> No.8127405
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8127405

>> No.8127410

>>8127394
Whelp. I didn't consider that they would go for little boys. Your words were just too ambiguous.

>> No.8127424
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8127424

>>8127188

>> No.8127426

>>8127410

>Your words were just too ambiguous.

Not the guy you're replying to, but I think you might be the only one here who didn't get it.

>> No.8127437

I will be in a bit over three years. I can't wait.

>> No.8127438

>>8127426
> Not the guy you're replying to
NTGYRT really needs to be added to the official list of 4chan-approved abbreviations.

>> No.8127440

>>8127237
The succubus will drain all your mana. You can regain your magic by killing the succubus. You then will be a necromancer

>> No.8127452

Since I lack the equipment to become a wizard, I will make sure that no man becomes a wizard.

>> No.8127457

>>8127440
Fucking idiot. You have to have to lose your virginity to a corpse to become a necromancer.

>> No.8127460

>>8127452
Y-you evil sorceress! May the path to the Akashik records be forever lost to you! Can I have your email?

>> No.8127463

>>8127457
That makes no sense. If you lose your virginity, then you lose your magic.
Clearly you must EAT a virgin corpse, thus stealing their latent magic to become a necromancer.

>> No.8127473
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8127473

>>8127440
>>8127440

My new plan now is to get laid while I'm 30+ (if needs be, I'll just pay for a whore) and then kill her.

>> No.8127478

>>8127457
Why the fuck would you gain magic powers by losing your virginity to ANYTHING you fucking moron

>> No.8127483

>>8127463
If you're already a wizard you're not going to lose your virginity, you lose your mana, which makes you a weak bitch of a wizard.

>> No.8127484

>>8127452
If you become a wizard, then rape a soul-stealing witch like this.. do you steal her power and the mana of all the potential wizard's she stole?

>> No.8127488

/jp/ - seriously arguing about the mechanics of virginity-induced wizardhood

>> No.8127492

>>8127473
You don't have to wait , just get laid now and kill the succubus and once you are 30 you will be a necromancer

>> No.8127500

>>8127492

That sounds doubtful. Also it would imply that I'd have to do things NOW instead of procrastinating it for 7.057 more years.

>> No.8127506

>>8127484
Rape benefits the succubus, you can never gain mana by having sex with a succubus. If if you have sex with a fellow wizard on the other hand you can steal his mana

>> No.8127509

I'm the fucking archmage of winterhold

>> No.8127514

>>8127506

But if you're raping the other, it means you are spilling your lifeforce into him, this granting him the mana.

No, if you truly wish to obtain another wizard's power, you need to make him rape you. And then when he's in the process of filling up your anus, you cut off his dick and balls and eat them.

>> No.8127515
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8127515

>>8127509
Get the fuck out of here! i am the archmage of winterhold!

>> No.8127517

Nope :3

>> No.8127520

Back in my day, we used to steal magical power by using spells and rituals...

>> No.8127524
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8127524

>>8127514
You could just suck his cock, dude.

>> No.8127529

Why are you talking about stealing wizard powers from people? I can't condone this at all.

>> No.8127537

>>8127515
>she's playing Kinectimals
I fucking laughed so hard

>> No.8127554

>>8127529
What do you think about draining power from magical creatures and elementals?

>> No.8127556

>>8127188
madada

>> No.8127566
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8127566

dickass thief here
lol nerds

>> No.8127562

>>8127524

But that would be homo

>> No.8127563

>>8127554

I'm against that too. I'll become more powerful at magic the good ol' fashioned way. By training. Once I get magical powers.

>> No.8127569

>>8127537
>Kinectimals

That's Cabela's Dangerous Hunts, dumbass.

>> No.8127574

>>8127563
What about binding them to gems or using their cores for spells?
Even wizards of old do these things.

>> No.8127579
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8127579

>This thread

One year left this Saturday untill I finally attain my wizard powers.

>> No.8127588

>>8127574

Never been a fan of that really. I want to see how strong I can get by myself.

>> No.8127599
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8127599

The day I become a wizard, I will set out on a journey for knowledge and power, and to find a way into Gensokyou.
Better start saving dust and shiny stones I find.

>> No.8127603

>>8127588
Well you put in a shit load of work to become a wizard in the first place, might as well make the most of it.

>> No.8127614

>>8127603

Maybe so. I might change my mind when I actually gain powers. However, I will still avoid taking away a person's chance to be a wizard.

>> No.8127615

>>8127563

You can technically become more powerful by learning more spells and training, but you mana levels will remain the same. The only way to truly become more powerful is to gain more mana.

>> No.8127620

>>8127588
It's not like you have to do it by force. Maybe you could make a pact...
I have some planning to do.

>> No.8127624

So I know wizards get stronger as they age, but wouldn't there also be ranks according to how much contact with the other sex one has had? People who've gotten their cocks sucked could probably never pass beyond the position of Wizard Janitor, but the people who've never held hands with anyone but their mother are regarded as High Wizards, and the autists who have never made eye contact with any person in or out of their family are usually offered spots on the Wizarding Council before they turn 35.

>> No.8127628

>>8127615

Well, some people can cast spells using their health. I think I'll give that a shot.

>> No.8127631

>>8127624
High wizard here I come. I'll enjoy my lightning powers. Can't wait to cook food using bolts of electricity.
Just because I can.
Zap motherfucker

>> No.8127635

>>8127624
>High Wizard
Hell yeah motherfucker.

>Spot on the council
Technically no but I think I have a good shot at getting in.

>> No.8127638
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8127638

>>8127529
Even if its to save the life of a cute little disabled girl?

>> No.8127645

>>8127638

If it comes down to that, then I'll just use my own life.

>> No.8127655

I lost it at 10, fuck man. If only I knew.

>> No.8127662

>>8127628
Dark Magic, eh?
Some say it's addictive. You won't be saying "I'll only use my own health." for long.

>> No.8127682 [DELETED] 

>>8127662

No, I don't plan on using dark magic. Just casting normal magic with a health cost instead of a mana cost. That just means I'll either just work to get a larger health pool.

>> No.8127689

>>8127579


Happy early birthday and enjoy your wizardhood in a year.

>> No.8127690

>>8127662

But it's not dark magic. I was just planning on using normal magic, but using a technique that allows me to use my health so I don't have to stop others from becoming wizards.

>> No.8127699

>>8127689
Thank you.

You may actually be the only person to say it to me at all this year, can't say yet but it's a possibility, so thanks.

>> No.8127725

So what do you become if you're intersexed?

>> No.8127758

>>8127624
>any person in or out of their family are usually offered spots on the Wizarding Council before they turn 35
bullshit
Everyone knows it's impossible to get into positions of consequence without having good people skills.

>> No.8127765

>>8127690
That's what they all say.

>> No.8127771

>>8127758
Good people skills makes a poor wizard.
The wizardry council appreciates wizardry skills over social skills.

>> No.8127775
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8127775

>> No.8127782

>>8127775
I wondered if anyone would get that reference

>> No.8127783

>>8127765

Man, this wizard stuff is tough. Either I go around stealing mana from other wizards or I become some evil blood stealing wizard. Maybe I'll just become a monk instead or something.

>> No.8127795

>>8127783
Just become a bloodmage. Shit's easy peasy. You just have to fuck virgin maidens and let your cock absorb the blood from their torn hymens. Good luck finding a pure maiden these days, mate.

>> No.8127797

>>8127783
Celibate monks living in monasteries are actually training to become great wizards. Come on, man, you should at least know that much.

>> No.8127812
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8127812

>> No.8127819

What's all this wizard shit? If you're going to bother to remain virgins, just become a cleric or priest or paladin or monk. Why waste time learning spells from magic runes that are even harder to read than moon runes when you could be learning Extremity Fist?

>> No.8127816

No.

I gave up my chance to be a wizard at fifteen years old and I'm kind of regretting it. Sometimes I look out the window hoping a letter from Hogwarts would arrive by owl.

>> No.8127817

>>8127795

I don't think I want to do that.

>>8127797

I was referring more of the martial artist style monks, guys that can pull off stuff that seem like magic but aren't magic.

>> No.8127852
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8127852

This wizard thing is starting to sound like a chore.
I will go the succubus route and steal decades of hard work from poor /jp/er's instead.

>> No.8127866

>>8127852
Suck my mana, dude.

>> No.8127882
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8127882

I want to be a tentacle monster.
Not the raping kind though. The gentlemanly one

>> No.8127888
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8127888

>>8127882
I wish you were a tentacle monster so i could..

>> No.8127901

>>8127852

I'll stop you, foul villain.

>> No.8127910

>>8127817
>I was referring more of the martial artist style monks, guys that can pull off stuff that seem like magic but aren't magic.

That do that by using Ki. Ki is another kind of magic. Don't you play Guilty Gear?

>> No.8127916

>>8127882
>>8127888
I love it when someone or something opposes the general expections in stories

>> No.8127926

>>8127910

Oh, well then I guess I don't know what to do. I just want to strengthen my magic without getting involved with others.

>> No.8127937

>>8127926
Well then read your SICP

>>
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