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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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File: 44 KB, 600x450, tournament.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090258 No.8090258 [Reply] [Original]

You're given the opportunity to go to Gensokyo. All you have to do is win the World Martial Arts Tournament and you'll gain the ability to move between the border freely.

Instead of the usual martial artists that would participate, the tournament will be comprised completely of other /jp/sies duking it out for the chance to go.

Do you do it?

>> No.8090263

Sounds fun...if I knew any martial arts.

>> No.8090273

I'd give it a shot, but my body is in a horrible shape due to many years of sickness and bad health. How much prep time do we get? Though I will probably get crushed under the fat rolls of giant hambeast neck-beard, no matter how much I train.

>> No.8090293
File: 53 KB, 993x733, bacterian.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090293

>pic related it's /jp/

>> No.8090287

I'd much rather stay in the Dragon Ball universe, honestly.

>> No.8090291

All that time spent watching Billy Herrington convinced me to spend a year squatting, drinking milk and eating oats to become like aniki. I eventually joined a judo class, and am well on my way to becoming gachimuchi.

Before I was NEET, I boxed for two months.

I'll almost certainly win against /jp/sies. Once we can take it easy, I'll show you all who's boss of the ring da ze~

>> No.8090295

>>8090287
What are you, gay? You like bulky men squeezing each other?

>> No.8090296

> I will probably get crushed under the fat rolls of giant hambeast neck-beard, no matter how much I train.

Forever stuck on this gay earth

>> No.8090303

I guess this would be an easy opportunity for the cocksucking Anon, as pretty much everyone in there would use a masturbation-related technique.

>> No.8090313

I'd try. Even after years of total inactivity, I'm surprisingly 'fit'. My BMI is right in the middle of the optimal range.
I know I could beat at least the worst of /jp/.

>> No.8090316

Count me in.

>>8090313
>BMI

Haha.

>> No.8090315

What have I got to lose? I'll do it.

>> No.8090320

>>8090291
How much can you squat, deadlift and bench?
Also I did judo when I was a fair bit younger, and I'm not sure how exactly it would translate into an all out fight. It is "the gentle way",

>> No.8090318

>>8090296
I would imagine that if fat neckbeards won, they would immediately be dejected from Gensokyo. Their unfit bodies would be unable to last a week without all the commodities they are used to.

They might as well dig a hole in the ground where they spawned, stick their heads in it and keep screaming to themselves "I MADE IT" over and over again until they pass out or get eaten by Rumia or something.

>> No.8090319

I have a feeling the final round will be between two Aikido masters.

>> No.8090324

>>8090318
Getting eaten by Rumia would be pretty sweet though...

>> No.8090326

As much as the judo guy has practical experience and a good strength base, he is no match for the Japanese spirit of the board's resident aikido master.

>> No.8090329
File: 252 KB, 639x356, homu86177.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090329

Come at me bro.jpg

>> No.8090333

I would win. I am 100% certain of the fact.

>> No.8090336

I can deal with any /jp/sie and.
zunbar is probably just a deskwork guy.

>> No.8090340

Time to start training.

>> No.8090339

>>8090316
Of course, I'm not implying BMI has anything to do with brute force, smartass. I was saying I'm more fit than the average basement dweller.

>> No.8090345

FOOLS
If we agree to a draw in every battle, we can all go to Gensokyo!

>> No.8090349

>Getting beat up by little girls
Yes, this is my fetish.

>> No.8090350
File: 17 KB, 258x482, Ranfan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090350

The one attractive girl on /jp/ would win by using the fact that you're all beta virgins against you.

>> No.8090353

>>8090350
Why would a woman want to go to Gensokyo?

>> No.8090357

>>8090353
If she enjoys pure sex between the same kin as her, she would have tons of fun, I imagine.

>> No.8090363
File: 349 KB, 1200x1724, toaru_008.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090363

>>8090350
10/10 would laugh again

>> No.8090364

>woman
>on /jp/

Ok, this is getting stupid. Thread hidden.

>> No.8090372

>>8090350
It really depends what she does.

And if she cosplayed as our favorite characters as well.

>> No.8090376

>>8090320
1RM records?
125kg squat - this was spotted by two people.
170kg dead
80kg bench - I suck at bench.

At 88kg bodyweight at 14%bodyfat, these are respectable lifts.

Though I'm NEET, I pay into a college judo club that emphasises hard randori for 20 mins twice a week. You are unlikely to get that live experience from any other martial art, as they focus on kata and not sparring. Judo has a low incidence of McDojos and 12yr olds with black belts.

I can grapple much better than I can strike, but really the only thing I have going for me is strength base and a clear head in a fight. Were I to face the aikido kopipe gent, he would reflect my force ten times stronger against me.

>> No.8090377
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8090377

>>8090353
What if she was a lesbian? It'd be PARADISE.

>> No.8090381

>>8090350
A women would win because we would all go to jail if we even tried to fight back.

>> No.8090386

>>8090381
No jurisdiction in Gensokyo.
Arrange it so she's the last fight and you're golden.

>> No.8090387

>>8090350
Well shit, I hadn't thought about that. I don't think I could hit a female.

>> No.8090395

>>8090333
Yuichiro?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYS-MCYbIlY

>> No.8090399

>>8090357
>>8090377
>implying an attractive lesbian who browses /jp/
might as well bet on an unicorn

>> No.8090402

>>8090387
I'd do it if she agreed to get into the ring in the first place, knowing this would happen. Especially if being able to go to Gensokyo was the prize. Anyone who thinks otherwise deserves to lose.

>> No.8090403

>>8090258

Why do you have to take us outside of our comfort zone?

Why can't have a Holy Grail War and all of summon casters so we can fight each other without leaving the house?

Or sword fight http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_fencing

>> No.8090414

>>8090387
I have no problem hitting a women if there's an actual reason. A legitimate fight, or self defense. I just fear the hoards of white-knights that will be on my ass. and the law for that matter. That said, I haven't had a reason to hit someone since elementary.

>> No.8090415
File: 123 KB, 480x480, 1318702673513.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090415

>>8090403
>The mating ritual involves a violent battle during which two hermaphroditic flatworms attempt to pierce the skin of one another with one of their penises. The "winner" is the organism that inseminates the other; the winner becomes the father. The sperm is absorbed through pores in the skin, causing fertilization in the "loser," who becomes the mother.

>> No.8090426

My Aikido training is now so much more amazing.

>> No.8090432

>>8090403
>Penis fencing
Oh wow, the moment before reading the article I thought it was a shitsport like arm wrestling and so on.
But a "see also" article interested me. I wonder if an eroge could be made with/about human "traumatic insemination".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_insemination
One has to admit it would gather at least a niche audience.

>> No.8090435
File: 20 KB, 131x225, 1317205243034.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090435

>>8090415
I wish i was a flatworm..I would "lose" on purpose..

>> No.8090443
File: 77 KB, 940x274, Reason= Fuck you.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090443

I won't participate but I'll go watch and bring pop-corn and 7up, some of you come with me and help me trow food on the inanimate bodies of the losers, souds like a plan, right?

>> No.8090466

I doubt I'd even get above the 50th percentile. Sure I could probably beat the weakest people but I can't go up 6 stairs without being out of breath for a few minutes and my lungs exploding. And I'm skinny. It's most likely my lack of any excerise but I also paint GKs and I've inhaled a lot of stuff I should not have and could have prevented too.

I would definetly go to watch though, and I rarely go outside even when I'm forced to.

>> No.8090477

>implying we haven't had timestamped with shoe on head /jp/ girls here
how new are you people exactly?
im not saying they were attractive though
they were as sad and pathetic as any of the rest of us
and were just as fucked up in their tastes

>> No.8090478

>>8090466
>Paint GKs
Pff, complain when you've been painting thousands of ratmen for the last 16+ years.

>> No.8090485

>>8090478
Oh. Do you ever feel like your lungs are small sometimes? I'm getting this feeling all too often these days.

>> No.8090488

>>8090477
It is well known that true female /jp/ers go out of their way to hide their gender. In honor of their hard work let us continue to believe that women do not exist on /jp/.

>> No.8090496

No one is match for Ken-sama... we're destined to lose ;_;
But I would participate in the tournament, I want to try to achieve my dream. Even if I die in battle.

>> No.8090517

>>8090488
That is simply not true. I have often had to decline sexual favors from female /jp/'ers. My strong masculine and feral scent just drives them into a strong heat.
Just yesterday I had to avoid two arc-drives.

>> No.8090522

>>8090517
Aikido is truly too powerful for a /jp/sie.

>> No.8090524

We can use weapons, right?

>> No.8090534

I learned tai chi once. Five years ago. Even then I just barely passed without doing much practice.

I think...

I think I have a shot at this!

>> No.8090542
File: 29 KB, 309x309, jp related.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090542

>>8090524

I will use my katana.

>> No.8090545

>>8090542
Classic /jp/.

>> No.8090550

>>8090542
You're not ZUN!bar

>> No.8090564

So you finally reach the finals after many long and challenging matches. As the crowd cheers for you, your opponent appears and is none other than Ken-sama. What do you do?

>> No.8090569

>>8090564
Show him my melty blood skills.
He can't take my Riesbyfe.
afterwards, he can
[x] Genuflect.

>> No.8090582
File: 22 KB, 433x450, ItsTape1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090582

>>8090542
I will thwart your katana with my tape.

>> No.8090590

i'd go just for the male body contact
if you know what i mean

>> No.8090592

>>8090432
Now I want to see this happening between giant bed bugs and little girls.

>> No.8090601

>>8090564
It would be Noboru Takeda.

>> No.8090604

>>8090590
Only contact you'd probably get is a well leveraged and arced fist to the jaw.
If /jp/ has strong enough legs (I hope you've been doing your squatting!) that power can be pulled right along with body weight to deliver some frightfully explosive power.
If you are not ready to roll along with the hit, which you likely aren't as you've claimed to only be interested in bodily contact, you'd suffer a devastating hit that could leave you unconscious with a fractured jaw.

>> No.8090609
File: 165 KB, 200x150, 1190679612641.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090609

Sure, let me just power up.

>> No.8090617

Of course, I'm great at martial arts. I've been practicing since I was a kid and I got in plenty of real, serious fights in high school. My violent streak led to me being expelled and being a NEET brought me to /jp/, but I'm still sure as hell fit and good at fighting.

Can we use weapons OP? I'd love to bring a big hammer or club.

>> No.8090649
File: 243 KB, 200x150, 1190679517244.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8090649

>>8090617
>implying he's fit to fight
>needs to use a weapon

>> No.8090657

>>8090609
>>8090649
They must be lisnen to sum phat beets.

>> No.8090688

>>8090657
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EKTw50Uf8M

>> No.8090749

i know the martial arts of combustion pistols and could probably win against all the faggots from shrinemaiden/pooshlmer/jp/tc/etc.

>> No.8090819

>>8090749
You can think what you want until you're engulfed in an explosion at the beginning of a match. Nothing beats a well placed pipe bomb.

>> No.8090979

I would definitely win no matter what it takes.

Training non-stop to claim my prize and finally leave this awful world. I already have about 5 months total kickboxing experience so I think I'd have a pretty good chance.

>> No.8090995

I'll just kill all of you outside the tournament, and then win through default. Psh.

>> No.8091032

>>8090995
How will you find us?

>>
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