/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

ITT : "forever alone stories"

->Its 1AM.
->Go downstairs.
->Talk to the cat, while warming up some pizza.
->Go to my sisters room(she's 15, I'm 20)
->she's not there.
->Realise she went out.
->Realise I never went out, ever.
->Go back to my room.
->Drink some booze, alone.
->Forever alone.

[Anonymous No.]

>be 17
>go to another city with friends
>get really high and had fun
>go home the next day
>parents won't let me leave the house ever again unless it's for school or work

[Anonymous No.]

Go play Raiden DX

[Anonymous No.]

Who gives a shit reported.

[Anonymous No.]

>Wake up
>Walk daughter to school
>Come home
>Smoke bowl
>Check email
>Review orders
>Send out stock
>Go to bank
>Cash cheques
>Put taxes aside
>Eat lunch
>Smoke bowl
>Play visual novel/nap/fap
>Go pick up daughter from school
>Prepare and eat dinner
>Watch cartoons with the li'l one until she passes out
>Put her to bed
>Smoke bowl and play vidya
>Go to sleep
>Wake up
>Repeat

Sure feels good being a self-employed single father. Chicks dig it.

[Mush !lYtRBoeK.2 No.]

>>7991092
Reported for underaged drinking.

[­­wtH !!geIKdOh6/lP No.]

>parents on vacation
>sisters at school
>FOREVER ALONE IN HELL

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>walk into Gamestop
>ask for a copy of Touhou
>"What?"
>spaghetti slowly drips from my pockets
>oh god not again
>face gets red
>"Please give me a copy of Touhou right now."
>"I don't know what that is. What platform is it on?"
>struggling to contain my embarrassment
>clenching asscheeks together to hold in my shit
>meanwhile spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets
>voice reduced to a mumble
>"have money please touhou give money please game"
>"Are you ok?"
>shit breaches through my asscheeks
>propelled forward at 60mph
>crash through the Gamestop employee's counter
>he's holding on to me for dear life
>all the while spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets like fumes
>crash through the entire row of buildings in the strip mall, broken glass shards in my face
>yelling "TOUHOU PLEASE MONEY TOUHOU GAMESTOP TOUHOU"
>Gamestop employee is covered in shit and spaghetti
>my pocket rocket shows no signs of stopping
>he tilts me backwards
>the sheer force of my shit has reached 650mph, we are now propelling upwards
>the spaghetti and shit intertwines and falls down to earth in glorious yellow and brown streams as we head towards the stratosphere
>children below frolic in the mess falling from my anus
>the g-force is causing my asscheeks to flap vigorously and create a gale
>spaghetti and shit blowing through the air on the planet below
>3 miles upwards now
>Gamestop employee has died from lack of oxygen, his body falls to the surface below and is shredded by the force of my shit
>my transformation is almost complete
>as I leave the atmosphere my bear hands sprout and my tail grows, acting as a rudder
>steer myself across the cosmos with my gleaming shit and spaghetti trail

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>7991102
What if he lives in a non-shit country, unlike the USA?

[Anonymous No.]

>go to see movie alone
>stand in line behind really hot chick
>feel a boner coming on
>chicks mother turns around and sees boner, obviously not pleased
>get to ticket counter
>mumble I want a ticket for Spy Kids
>obviously doesn't hear me, have to watch Drive
>manager comes over
>"Did you bring your own snacks? That's not allowed here"
>n-no, that's me
>"What?"
>I-it's my boner
>"Nice try"
>He sticks his hand in my pocket, finds my secret spaghetti stash
>the touch of another human being is to much, unload all over him
>run away crying with manager hand still in my pocket
>manager dragged behind me as I sprint towards the exit
>slip on spaghetti pooring from my pockets
>tumble and embrace the manager, forming a cocoon inside my cape
>he's horrified, covered in spaghetti and semen
>cape stick to us, have to have 2 ushers peel it away from all the semen and spaghetti
>offer him my pokemon key chain as an apology
>he bans me for life
>no refund

[Anonymous No.]

This thread is horrible

Time to hijack.

[Anonymous No.]

>don't talk to anyone entire high school career because social retardation
>senior year a group of nerdy freshman girls talk to me
>i sit with them daily not saying anything but they start conversations
>never even considered them attractive or thought of ever going out with them
>one of them asks me out
>spend the rest of the school year avoiding her
>have to avoid everyone else as well spend lunch wandering around campus the rest of year

[Anonymous No.]

>>7991123
It's the best thread on /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7991110
Source on that?

[Anonymous No.]

>Come home from work
>Shower
>Go to sleep
>Get up and go back to work

I work alone.

[ZUN !barYV1VtIA No.]

>>7991109
Reported for changing "Atelier Totori" to "Touhou".

[Anonymous No.]

>>7991131
It's Not My Fault I'm Not Popular

[Anonymous No.]

[Nekosage !!jFxxIk0u2Hd No.]

I usually like those kind of threads but why is it so boring to read?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7991140
Many thanks.

[Anonymous No.]

>go out with friends
>everyone but me has girlfriends
>while we're all cool, no one belittles me and I'm on good terms with everyone I still feel out of place
>get home
>keep drinking
>wake up in my bathtub vomit all over myself
>meet friends in pub few days later
>they go all about how jealous they are that I'm single and can do everything I want, not having a single obligation
>bottle everything up, dont want to snap
>get home
>keep drinking
>wake up in bathtub this time before I had to vomit so I crawl out of it and get over to the toilet

forever alone

[Anonymous No.]

>saged
>reported
>called the cops
>fucked youre mother

[Anonymous No.]

>>7991165
>youre
Seriously, that's the only thing that pissed me off.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7991102
Feels good having a drinking age of 18 in my country

[Anonymous No.]

>>7991172

you have severe atism

[Anonymous No.]

>>7991172
>>7991172

Good, stay mad faggot and die from an aneurysm.

[Anonymous No.]

>Girl I like High fives me

>Get home

>Shut my door

>Begin stoking my cock with that same unwashed hand untill Orgasm

[Anonymous No.]

>>7991195
Dammit /jp/, now you're just fucking with me.