/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

>walk into Gamestop
>ask for a copy of Touhou
>"What?"
>spaghetti slowly drips from my pockets
>oh god not again
>face gets red
>"Please give me a copy of Touhou right now."
>"I don't know what that is. What platform is it on?"
>struggling to contain my embarrassment
>clenching asscheeks together to hold in my shit
>meanwhile spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets
>voice reduced to a mumble
>"have money please alterlier toroti give money please game"
>"Are you ok?"
>shit breaches through my asscheeks
>propelled forward at 60mph
>crash through the Gamestop employee's counter
>he's holding on to me for dear life
>all the while spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets like fumes
>crash through the entire row of buildings in the strip mall, broken glass shards in my face
>yelling "Touhou PLEASE MONEY Touhou GAMESTOP Touhou"
>Gamestop employee is covered in shit and spaghetti
>my pocket rocket shows no signs of stopping
>he tilts me backwards
>the sheer force of my shit has reached 650mph, we are now propelling upwards
>the spaghetti and shit intertwines and falls down to earth in glorious yellow and brown streams as we head towards the stratosphere
>children below frolic in the mess falling from my anus
>the g-force is causing my asscheeks to flap vigorously and create a gale
>spaghetti and shit blowing through the air on the planet below
>3 miles upwards now
>Gamestop employee has died from lack of oxygen, his body falls to the surface below and is shredded by the force of my shit
>my transformation is almost complete
>as I leave the atmosphere my bear hands sprout and my tail grows, acting as a rudder
>steer myself across the cosmos with my gleaming shit and spaghetti trails

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>walk into gamestop
>see cute girl at counter
>Say "Hey, how's it going? Where can I find a copy of Violated Heroine?"
>She says "What? Silly...VH is a freeware game."
>THIS IS THE ONE
>Pull her close
>"Babe...the way you talk about games gives me a boner." I say.
>Kiss her passionately
>"I-I'm happy that my first kiss could be with you." she timidly said
>I start fingering her
>Other Gamestop employees start flipping out and try to pull me off her
>Do a roundhouse kick and knock all of them out
>Guitar sound
>"Girl, you deserve better than this place. Let's get outta here." I say, pulling her out the door
>Get to my apartment
>Take off fanny pack of spaghetti
>we share the most romantic dinner ever
>Gamestop calls my house
>"Sir, this is the US President. Thanks for kicking these Gamestop employees, they were undercover terrorists. I've added $5,000,000 to your bank account. Thank you again.

FUCKING YEEAAAHH

[Anonymous No.]

what the fuck, man? that post was the shit.

[Anonymous No.]

I hate it when retards like you take my greentext stories and edit them into a shittier version.

[Anonymous No.]

Using greentext?
He just left.