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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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7856495 No.7856495 [Reply] [Original]

So when do you plan to kill yourself? I mean, open the portal to Gensokyo.

>> No.7856500
File: 14 KB, 150x150, 1182318848523.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

No, because I want to learn the ways of immortality

>> No.7856519

3 days after my 153rd birthday I will be taken into a pool of molten metal and immortalized as a statue so that I may last for future generations to know of my greatness.

>> No.7856528

I have to take over the world first, then I'll consider going to Gensokyo.

>> No.7856529

2 years...

Maybe 3 if the money holds out...

>> No.7856538

I wouldn't know, really. Maybe one week, maybe a year. I'm just waiting to despair to take over me, because I can't do it by myself.

>> No.7856541

there's no way you go to paradise if you suicide.

>> No.7856545

Oh, I should also say I tried getting one leg over the balcony fence (3F). Scary as shit, as I expected. Could you do jump from 15F, anon?

>> No.7856553


>there's no way you go to paradise if you browse /jp/

>> No.7856607 [DELETED] 

>using a pic of Moemura for implied suicide
You filthy nigger

>> No.7856615
File: 81 KB, 400x398, 13146509863.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


Forgot your pic, champ.

>> No.7856622

People who kill themselves are taken to Gensokyo to be used as food for Youkai and Vampires

Is this what you truly want your fate to be?

>> No.7856624

That is my fetish.

>> No.7856641

Heed this man's warning. Suicide is a dishonourable death and will only lead you to shame. Only by spilling the blood of your enemies in battle will you be granted safe passage to the human village where you'll be greeted as a hero! Do not die a coward!

>> No.7856644

you aren't supposed to say it involves death, that kills the mood, ruins the joke, and a real believer would never consider the path to Gensokyou to be fraudulent.

>> No.7856646

What kind of enemies should I kill? Is it little children? Are little children the enemies?

>> No.7856652

What if the Religiousfags were right and the afterlife does exist? You're going to burn in hell for all eternity, OP.

Or there could be nothing at all and you cease to exist forever. Death really sucks.

>> No.7856653

Your enemies are those who seek to rob you of your prize, so you must rob them of their limbs!

>> No.7856655

Please do not engage in any battles, /jp/.

Valhalla is not a place to take it easy

>> No.7856662

>What if the Religiousfags were right and the afterlife does exist?
What if the god that does exist thinks suicide is awesome and a cool thing to do? That's just as likely as the Judeo-Christian god existing.

>> No.7856663
File: 52 KB, 560x420, valhalla-w560h420.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Listen to this man speak! He know the truth, my brothers. SPILL THEIR BLOOD! Come join us in Valhalla, brothers of war! Fall in battle as a mighty warrior and you'll be granted passage to the human village where you'll live as a hero for eternity. They're youkai, demons, and witches trying to devour your soul. Don't be fooled, brothers.

>> No.7856677

Do they have lolis in Valhalla? What about touhous? How many people do I need to kill to obtain either?

>> No.7856682

True enough but still too risky. I rather just live a shit life on Earth.

>> No.7856687
File: 208 KB, 1000x1500, Touhou Remilia Coffin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


Yeah, but what if they are wrong and in the afterlife those who commit suicide... err... take the portal... are given the greatest reward? Nobody knows! Except, maybe the zombies and vampires of Gensokyou.

>> No.7856694
File: 75 KB, 650x650, Touhou Cirno Viking.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


I seem to recall a thread in which it was suggested that in Valhalla, the manly warriors become the lolis they had repressed deep down in their hearts and live an afterlife of gentle cuddles and girlish delight.

>> No.7856695

Anon! Quit letting yourself be bullied by these barbaric intimidating men. Valhalla is out of the question. They won't even let you have any time for yourself! It's all hard work for a battle you have little stake in.

Please think about taking it easy.

>> No.7856702

ITT valhalla recruitment.

>> No.7856724

/jp/ - Einherjar Culture

>> No.7856725


>> No.7856727

I nostalgia'd.

>> No.7856732

I don't, I'm perfectly happy here. glhf.

>> No.7856942

I don't know. I wish someone would just do it for me.

>> No.7858576

Ragnarok is a thousand years away anyway, in between the bloodthirsty murder and rape practice I'm sure they'll let you have a couple of feasts and a few nights with loli valkyries.

>> No.7858599

I tried everyday, but people on this planet deny me of it. I swear, some day...

>> No.7858601

you get valkyria lolis in valhala

>> No.7858604

When my gravy train runs dry.

>> No.7858608

Women can become Einherjar under exceptional conditions, so chances are that you might become a loli valkyrie yourself and pick up corpses of valiant heroes with a gentle, mature onee-sama whom you look up to.

>> No.7858623
File: 443 KB, 1024x1024, Sanae with serious face.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

This is bad thread and OP knows about it.

I plan to open portal in next few months. But still no method.

Killing yourself is something that silly /r9k/ would do.

>> No.7858617
File: 47 KB, 872x595, 1312776323540.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Maybe in 3 weeks, maybe in 3 months, but the despair is killing me. Also, I would like to cease to exist, not to reincarnate or something like that. Living is such a hassle.

>> No.7858626

Sometime soon. I'm not doing anything nor do I really want to. My parents should just throw me out already. I'm fucking worthless.

Once that time comes I'll kill myself rather than living as a homeless person. I mean, why be homeless and alive when I'd already be dead inside?
Of course, fortune may actually come into my favor and I'll land a job. Who knows. I doubt it, though. The job market looks more and more grim by the day.

>> No.7858633

Literally the worst poster on /jp/.

>> No.7858647
File: 75 KB, 173x260, girigiri.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

well i wanna stay alive long enough to see if they find some way to live longer or forever

but if i die then it'll be OK, life is hard as HELL and i just wanna sleep forever and do nothing

i wanna live forever but life is hard as HELL? i don't know what to think anymore really, i'm so confused right now. i'll just go where ever the wind takes me i guess.

>> No.7858656

Hey dude, do me a favor. Post a gif of something cute, please.

>> No.7858664
File: 446 KB, 1024x576, erushi_eyeing_a_firetruck.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

erushi is HELLa cute

>> No.7858674

Thanks, dude, seriously.

>> No.7858681

I would love to live "forever" and see the rest of the world live "forever". Preferably as substrate independent minds.

However, I don't even consider 'suicide' as a worthy activity because I think it's unlikely it would work from a first-person perspective (since I think MWI is likely true, some forms of quantum immortality can follow from it, although a lot of them are unpleasant in our current form of existence (neuro degenerative diseases are likely)). What I think would be more interesting would be if someone generated a very reliable suicide-like device so those that want to test MWI and use it as a "primitive wish-granting device" could try. However, no matter the type of suicide, it should never be attempted if there are people that still care for you in this world (there tend to be quite a few, even if you're an absolute loner) because you'll make them sad in many worlds (unless you're a psychopath who doesn't care at all about any else's happiness but yours, in which case, there's nothing I can say to that).

>> No.7858686
File: 6 KB, 180x180, bored.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

uhh ok...

>> No.7858697
File: 27 KB, 720x480, hades.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Name is Hades, lord of the dead, your favorite God of the underworld here. I only need a few seconds of your time, I'm a fast talker. You see I got this major deal in the works, a real estate venture if you will. So /jp/, big A, anon, may I call you anon?

Tell ya what, forget that Valhalla business. Real gritty. Ain't good for ya bones, kid, they got you fighting up to the knees. Why not enjoy your mortal time here on Earth? Trust me kid, there's nothing but ghosts and tortured souls of the dead in the afterlife. Nothing pretty.

Alright, so, let's keep this short. I got this deal for you, see. Your..."why-fu"...oh, oh! Waifu, right, right, it's the translators.

Right, so this waifu of yours, I can make her real, turn a pile of dust into your beautiful dream girl, "loli" or older. Bada bing bada boom! Know what I'm getting at? But get this, this isn't even half the thing. She'll unquestionablly love you forever for the rest of your life, no fighting, no arguments, no sad endings, you'll be together, maybe make a baby or two, have the fairy tale life, boom, the end.

So anyway, it's a deal, so I need just a little something in return, nothing big, you don't even use it, you won't miss it, trust me. I just need the contract for the complete ownership of your soul, from death until eternity.

So how about it, anon? I'm breaking my limbs here getting this out to you.

>> No.7858699
File: 205 KB, 423x515, oh okay.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

uhh ok...

>> No.7858710
File: 12 KB, 452x422, 1311578161659.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


You have excellent taste in music. Here's another:


This brings up the question, what worthwhile battles are there left to fight in this boring, shitty world? Fighting and dying for jews in the middle of a desert does not count.

>> No.7858713

I couldn't grant ownership of something that doesn't exist even if I wanted.

>> No.7858719
File: 199 KB, 300x200, GODDAMN_SHIT.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.7858721

What if my waifu is Persephone? Will you allow me to netori your wife?

>> No.7858724

You might be able to be immortal soon enough with a bit of biological engineering since they discovered the immortal jelly fish.


>> No.7858734
File: 5 KB, 251x151, trustworthy as hell.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Bang! You got a sharp eye, kid. You won't miss it if it ain't even real, right? You really outwitted me here. Alright, I let you go just this once, just sign the contract here and if you want, I can get you a harem of you sell me the souls of your family and friends.
Relax kid, she'll be made out of thin air just for you. If "net-oar-ray" is your thing, I can make her a non-virgin and you can enjoy her all you want.

>> No.7858738

It'd be boring if everyone could do it. I want to be immortal alone.

>> No.7858744

Uh... well I've already split my soul... 7 different ways currently. What can I get with an eighth of a soul? Do you take souls that aren't mine?

>> No.7858745

Why? It'd suck to see everyone dieing and ageing around you.

Most likely chance is that everyone would get immortality or nobody would get it.

>> No.7858749

Most likely chance is only select people would get immortality as the cost most likely wouldn't end up cheap. Then you have the matter of over population.

>> No.7858750
File: 18 KB, 178x178, 1313435311320.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>trustworthy as hell.jpg

>> No.7858757
File: 857 KB, 1280x800, I never asked for this.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

They will never reveal the existence of biological immortality. Now that the corporate dystopia is running the world, only the richest and most powerful will ever obtain it, if they haven't already. Our entire world is being fueled by the greed of money, and if you think the only thing that money can't buy is just going to escape to the plebes that easily, you are really retarded.

>> No.7858758

not >>7858738, but it would be my dream to get immortality and to waste it all as a hermit. A few million years of NEETing sounds very appealing.

>> No.7858764


>> No.7858777

The common options will likely be (as long as we don't kill ourselves off before inventing them):
1) Biological aging prevention, improved immune system. Not immortality, but at least no death due to old age. Likely doable through some forms of genetic engineering or later on molecular nanotechnology. Neither would be costly after the invention. If you inflate the price artificially it would get "pirated" (generics). Can't put that cat out in the bag. However, population explosions are a problem, but all that you have to do is industrialize the 3rd world countries and the growth will level off, maybe also do some population control like China does. Eventually go to the stars if living at home is too hot.
2)Substrate independent minds. Might be initially costly if molecular nanotechnology isn't developed (so sectioning would be used to scan), but after that your mind would merely require a bit of electrical energy: so little that anyone could get it from just solar energy or most likely how we get our electricity these days (nuclear, coal, water, geo, ...). You would also be able to experience subjective time some 4 orders of magnitude faster, which means much faster progress of society in general, and much faster technological progress.

Actually trying to actively prevent from 1 and 2 being actively deployed will cause huge outrages in society (which will likely end very badly for whoever is on the other side) and you'd have to be one cruel fuck to even attempt it.

>> No.7858785

No, because biological immortality will require a lot of testing. Besides, most research in both areas are done in the public view right now (mostly academic).

>> No.7858798

Killing myself is too boring, I'll rather wait to see what will kill me.

>> No.7858804

Immortality of the biological sort is actually easy on paper but virtually always comes with cancer in complex animals - in fact, immortalizing cells by turning them cancerous is standard procedure, because they don't otherwise survive the sort of abuse biologists regularly put them through. There are cell lines that have outlived their donors for a few decades and are still going strong.

Rather than that jellyfish, which might rather power iPS cell technology, I think turtles are more promising since they're much more similar to humans and their organs do not undergo senescence.

>> No.7858839

>Could you do jump from 15F, anon?

Are you kidding? I've willingly dove from much higher.
Ever been on top of the McDonnell Douglas offices? 180 feet with no rails fixing a security camera, and I had to climb on top of the stairwell housing at the edge of the building to get up there. I spit my chewing gum off the top to see what kind of weird splat pattern it would make on the ground.

If you're gonna jump to your death, at least reach terminal velocity. You'd never make it in Gensokyo if you're afraid of heights. How do you expect to fly around and danmaku?

>> No.7858916
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I'll do it when I have the chance to make it look like an accident.

This too. But only the vampire part.

More, MORE!

And, trough my few years here in /jp/ I've seen uncountable suicidal posts, and now I suddenly wonder if some of those posters really killed themselves.

Sadly, we will never know because suicides are too mainstream to appear on the news.

R.I.P. my dear brethren.

>> No.7859149

It's sad to think about all the posters on /jp/ who just wanted to take it easy eventually committing suicide and sincerely thinking they were going to Gensokyo.

>> No.7859167

I would rather live for a million years than be immortal.

>> No.7859179

Is anyone near nc wanting to go through with it

charcoal/tent takes it very easy, like falling asleep

I'd rather spend my last moments with some bros who dealt with the same shit and want to show up in Gensokyo together. Not to mention I'd probably chicken out if I were alone.

>> No.7859184

Can I have your stuff?

>> No.7859195

I bet if they were alive right now you would be scolding them for shit posting.

>> No.7859508

I'd rather we live out this life of suffering through shitposting and chastising our shitposting together than to have us die alone in sadness.