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/jp/ - Otaku Culture


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File: 83 KB, 496x331, touhou-zun.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7783104 No.7783104 [Reply] [Original]

it's year 20XX, the worst nightmare of human kind has become reality: World War III has broken out.

You are being drafted in the military of your country, in spite of how "special" you are. Things went pretty awry and now the higher officials do not give a damn anymore about the quality of their cannon fodder. You have no say on the matter, you can decide to die on the front or being shot on the spot as a disertor.
Reluctantly you join the battle.

To your utter dismay you and your squad are sent to Japan, which is an enemy of your country. So you have no choice but to kill japs or being killed by them. It's a struggle for survival.

And then one day you find yourself face to face with an enemy soldier. You have your gun ready, but so is he but he's a little slower than you. You are ready to push the trigger when a sudden realization freezes you on the spot. The one in front of you is ZUN! He's ZUN himself no doubt about it! Unfortunately there's no really time to talk, he's quite obviously scared and he's ready to fire. What do you do?

A) You can't possibly deprive the world from the talent of this man. At the very least you know if this has to happen it wont' be because of you. You let him shoot you.

B) As much as you love ZUN and Touhou you know you can't really enjoy them from the afterlife. You kill ZUN. There won't be any other touhou for you to play but at least you can keep enjoying the existing ones.

>> No.7783108

He'll dodge every bullet anyway.

>> No.7783115

Fucking railroading DMs.

>> No.7783119

And what if you someone is female?

Girls don't have to go to army silly op ^_^

As much as you love ZUN and Touhou you know you can't really enjoy them from the afterlife - this is obvious trolling

>> No.7783121

Of course I'll kill him

He's holding Touhou back

>> No.7783133

B. Kill him on sight. Then we can get our official anime.

>> No.7783160

If Swan Song taught me anything it is “Attack with my spear.”.

>> No.7783167

All the good music has been released, pop the fucker brains out

>> No.7783170

Toho is shit so shoot at least 2 bullets to ensure.

>> No.7783171

>>7783133
Anime is for fags.

>> No.7783178

>>7783170
> shoot at least 2 bullets
>not a full clip

>> No.7783179

Just shout 'ZUN' and embrace him.
Throw the gun away to show you don't mean harm.

Win-win for both of you.

>> No.7783181

I shoot him of course, it's either him or me and I don't like Touhou so much that I'd die for it especially in a world war situation.
But this scenario is silly anyways, world war 3 will be fought with nukes

>> No.7783183

C) I somehow manage to notice him in time without him realizing my presence. I ambush him and disarm him without making any unnecessary noises. I use my war bandana and put it into his mouth in order to shut him up. Then I reach my rope binded to my belt and tie him up. Next thing I do is drag him to the bushes and wait for a good occasion to move him somewhere. I find an abandoned den in which I keep him until the war ends. When we win, I smuggle him back to the US in our plane. Then I manage to drag him to my house and then down to my basement in which I tie him to a pillar next to a PC not connected to the internet and tell him to make next Touhous exclusively for me. I raise him like a pet giving him food and water necessary to survive. With time, he grows to like me and then love me. I then untie him and let him live freely in my basement with me. We sleep in one bed, use one toilet, eat using the same forks and knives. We become lovers and live happily ever after.

>> No.7783184

I always wanted to kill people and get away with it.

>> No.7783188
File: 144 KB, 703x329, Mou.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7783188

>>7783104
Boy, the only reason I'd look an enemy in the face is to see the fear in his eyes as I choke him to death with the shoulder strap from his own rifle.

>> No.7783189

>>7783183
D'aww.

>> No.7783192

>>7783183
You'll need alot alcohol for this.Having a old japanese man who constantly needs his fix of alcohol as your pet isn't so easy

>> No.7783191

>>7783171
suck my cock dude

>> No.7783193

>>7783119
Typical girl's thinking. How naive.

>> No.7783196

>>7783119
In this time we are equal.
That's what you always wanted right?Being equal to males.Well then you will also fight like a male, I don't see why not

>> No.7783205

I'd take his gun and then ask him if he's saying something bad about my waifu then shout DANMAKU and shoot around him and sing a kawaii song while he dances and dodges the bullets. You die in real life, you die in the game.

>> No.7783208

>>7783196

Nope. males need to respect female rights and stop oppressing us, But fighting wars is a male's job.

>> No.7783209

[X] Graze the bullet

>> No.7783215

>>7783208
Nope not in WW3 when all the leaders of the countries are female.If they force males they will also force females

>> No.7783223
File: 111 KB, 1280x720, [Commie]_Baka_to_Test_to_Shokanju_Ni_-_06_[7E0E3C2F].mkv_snapshot_14.20_[2011.08.21_23.00.43].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7783223

ZUN weighs around 113 pounds, supposedly, so I would attempt to disarm him, if possible. After that, I would break his arms, legs, and then knock him out.

I'm no killer, I'm a hero. AN AMERICAN HERO.

GI JOE

>> No.7783236
File: 33 KB, 388x490, 1279919015260.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7783236

>>7783223

>> No.7783238

I'd shoot him, cut his hatskin off and take it as a trophy.

>> No.7783241

capture him and force him to make toohoo games in prison camp

>> No.7783256

I communicate with ZUN in the language of Touhou. Together we will escape and form our own country, hidden away from the rest of the world, where only those accepted by us can enter. There we practice the arcane arts which eventually will turn us into little girls. The name of the land will of course be Gensokyo. And the rest is history.

>> No.7783268
File: 46 KB, 214x260, 1313953858568.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7783268

i instead kill another 25 guys and unlock the tactical nuke

>> No.7783292

>>7783238

If you wear it, you could become the next ZUN.

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