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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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7711679 No.7711679 [Reply] [Original]

24 more hours and i'm joining wizard ranks. congrat me!

>> No.7711685

What do you mean?

>> No.7711682 [DELETED] 

Wizard ranks as in KKK wizard ranks?

>> No.7711688

Congrats, I still have ten more years.

>> No.7711691

>>7711679
Your time has come, congratulations and happy birthday

>> No.7711687

If you touched a woman other than your mother, you won't be a wizard. Better go over your requirements again.

>> No.7711692

Congrats on remaining pure to 30.

>> No.7711706
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7711706

Now use your magic to open the portal for us.

>> No.7711707

Congratulations and happy birthday.

>> No.7711709

>>7711687
Bullshit. Hagrid never mentioned anything about that when I signed up for this.

>> No.7711710

How the fuck can you go 30 years and still not have had sex? That shit ain't normal. What do your friends say? Aren't you embarrassed?

>> No.7711721
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7711721

>>7711679
are you also a NEET?

>> No.7711716 [DELETED] 

>>7711710
Why don't you get some friends, try to get laid, do something besides going on 4chan to try and act like a pretentious shitdick. If you had anybody in your life who actually wanted to listen to what you had to say you wouldn't be doing this, and if you weren't a complete piece of shit you would realize that nobody is going to read your point of view you faggot. Just stop or kill yourself, either or is fine with me.

>> No.7711718
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7711718

>>7711710
>>>/fk/

>> No.7711723

>>7711710

If you want to be a wizard, you can't be normal of course, don't be silly.

>> No.7711733

>>7711710
Get the fuck out normalfag.
/jp/ is Wizzards/Wizzard apprentices only

>> No.7711731

Congratulations, OP. I admire your dedication.

>> No.7711727

>>7711709
You touched 3DPD? Well, you're not wizard candidate. Go find something else to do. You won't be granted magical powers, that's for sure.

>> No.7711729

>>7711716
U mad, virgin?

>> No.7711740

>>7711727

Oh crap, really? I'm reminded of the time some girl hugged me, she stole my magic then? If I can't be a wizard then my life was wasted.

>> No.7711743

>>7711727
Oh god and i have been wasting all these years i touched one (poked a friend of mine back when i was like 9)

shit and all this time i could have been outside raping and plundering anuses.

>> No.7711751

>>7711740
just like my type moon stories.

>> No.7711748 [DELETED] 

>>7711729
If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so i can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. yea you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but i bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this.Don't want anymore problems....didn't think so faggots. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin pieces of unpatriotic SHIT.

>> No.7711752

>>7711740
>>7711743
The more you know.

>> No.7711756

>>7711752

So what do I do now? I can't be normal, but I can't be a wizard either. Is a monk path viable?

>> No.7711755
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7711755

Mothers don't count if you don't like them.
In other news AN ASCENDED WIZARD HAS SURPASSED THE 3D BARRIER AND HAS BECOME 2.5D!!!
>>>/a/53057133

>> No.7711760

I thought you became a wizard at 40. When did the requirements become so lax?

>> No.7711767

>>7711727
>>7711687

This just isn't fair. Some stupid whores gave me random hugs for no fucking reason and stole all of my wizard powers.

>> No.7711772

>>7711755
Boy, /a/ sure is /b/ level.

>> No.7711770

>>7711740
ffs, another comrade has fallen... be damned 3dpd

>> No.7711774

>>7711687
Even my aunt?
Or grandmother?

Fuck.

>> No.7711773

>>7711767
it's just like that

the jews and whores are trying to stop wizards from arising by sexualizing everything in the goddamn T.V and other media outlets.

>> No.7711776

>>7711756
WHO SAID BECOMING A WIZARD WAS AS EASY AS JUST BEING A VIRGIN?

>> No.7711779

>>7711776

Well, you guys did. Oh well, I'll find my own path. I don't need wizards or normality or any of that.

>> No.7711782

>>7711774
Don't listen. as long as your virginity is intact you will be a wizard. How STRONG of a wizard on the other hand depends on how much interaction you've had with a female....Yes this includes kisses and hugs.

>> No.7711781

>>7711772
>jealous of an Ascended Wizard
get out of /jp/

>> No.7711784

>>7711779
There's virgin, and FULL virgin, know the difference.
Sorry for the bad news.

>> No.7711785

How old do you have to be to become a wizard?

>> No.7711786 [SPOILER] 
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7711786

>>7711779
We can always go Monk

>> No.7711787

>>7711760
No, no, at 40 you become an angel.

I don't have that page on hand though.

>> No.7711791

>>7711687
>If you touched a woman other than your mother, you won't be a wizard

You you fucking kidding me?

>> No.7711789
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7711789

7 more years...
Just 7.

Then they'll all see...

>> No.7711793

>>7711785

30

>> No.7711801 [DELETED] 

>>7711791
Yeah, what is that shit? My sister punches me on the arm playfully all the time. And they force you to dance in elementary school and shit, whether you like it or not.

>> No.7711811

Does punching a woman count as taking away my magic?

I mean I've punched women who tried touching me before.

The best way to keep women away is being a violent asshole.

>> No.7711814

you have to punch them or rape them back to get the power back, and not like it.

>> No.7711818

>>7711814
i like raping

well shit i'm fucked

>> No.7711822

Well done OP, you are a shining beacon of light to other aspiring wizards.

>> No.7711829

>>7711801

They force the touching upon you at a young age in order to suppress the inevitable wizard uprising.

>> No.7711833

>>7711829

What can we, the failed wizards do?

>> No.7711836

What happens if you have sex with or touch another man?

>> No.7711839

>>7711836
You become a faggot, not a wizard.

>> No.7711845

hah, i've had sex.
and i've read more vn's and been on /jp/ longer than you have.

>> No.7711875

I'm jealous of those of you who can attain wizard status. Back when I was working as I a kid I near raped one of my younger workers. It wasn't worth it, now I can't open the portal.

>> No.7711878

>>7711845
see
>>7711839

>> No.7711885

Happy birthday OP, hope you are happy.

>> No.7711893

>>7711785
30 = wizard
40 = sage
50 = legend

>> No.7711897

>>7711893
Will /jp/ exist when i reach sage?

>> No.7711908

>>7711833
I'm sorry to say this but you will have to be a normal.

>>7711782
>Don't listen. as long as your virginity is intact you will be a wizard.
Is the wizard candidate's lips blemished with female filth? If yes, then he's not pure.

Is the wizard candidate's genitals blemished with female bodily fluid? If yes, then he's not pure.

Is the wizard candidate's skin touched by a female and it has consent from him? If yes, he's not pure.

>> No.7711914

>>7711908
What if hypothetically, a wizard candidate had sex with a female, but never released the essence because of one?

>> No.7711922

>>7711914
He had intercourse. He was made aware of the knowledge and pleasure of the flesh. That in itself disqualifies him to reach the ranks.

>> No.7711924

Fuck i remember years back in school one girl who isn't my relative kissed me on the cheek. Can somebody who archieved Wizzardhood go back in time and save me?

>> No.7711969
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7711969

op here: tommorow i'll be broadcasting me becoming a wizard

list of guests: my waifu, /jp/

>> No.7711972

>>7711908
Can you still become a wizard if you had sex with another man?

>> No.7711985

>>7711972
see
>>7711839

>>
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