/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

okay /jp/
As promised while you faggets where arguing if /jp/ is japan related, I actually went to the japanese concert here in austria.
Dumping pictures and videos while I upload.
It was fucking glorious...

I made 4 short videos, could not make more because I wanted to enjoy the music + it would have probably bothered people.

Link to the original troll thread:
>>7595448

[Anonymous No.]

First video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-kSFrrEjT4

[Anonymous No.]

Have you sucked some Japanese dicks there?

[Anonymous No.]

While you were wasting your time at a shitty japanese concert I was reading eroge

[Anonymous No.]

/jp/ isn't about Japan, though.

[Anonymous No.]

Should I report OP for spam and astroturfing his youtube channel?

y/n?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596462
Same here. Now I'm still reading eroge while browsing /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

What did they play?

[Anonymous No.]

Now, going to Japanese concert - that's barely /jp/ related depending on whose concert it is.
But if it's classical music? Now, that's entirely acceptable, no matter Japanese or not.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596462
While you were wasting your time reading a shitty eroge I was reading a supreme manga.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596478
Go back to /a/ kid.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596485
>kid

Go back to /fit/, fatass.

[Anonymous No.]

Classical music concerts and very fun.
You have not lived until you go to a piano concert in a suit and drink wine during intermission.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596443

Nobody gives a shit, eat a dick and die.

[Anonymous No.]

DUDE UR AN EPIK TROLL MAN U GOT ME RAGIN SO HARD I WISH I WAS AS MUCH OF A HARDCORE WEE/A/BOO AS U XD :P

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596488
LOL Y U SO MAD BRO?

SAGE

[Anonymous No.]

OP here

Second link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCBN-FIjBc0
The video is a bit messed up, sorry about that.
Does not happen in the other 3.

>>7596462
Well I do that quite often too.
Wasn't about reading eroge though, it's about /jp/ aruging about being about japan.

>>7596461
Nope.

>>7596475
I made the channel only for these videos.

>>7596479
1.Festive Overture
2.El sombrero de tres picos
3.Light Cavalry Overture
4.The Sound of Music
5.Turandot
6.Die Zauberflüte
7.The Pines of the Appian Way
Will post picture of the catalog next.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596498
/V/VE/A/B/OO

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596499
>y u so mad
>bro
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VankK2gcQVY

I'm not your bro, mate.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596504

Not /jp/ related.

Reported.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596479
here you go

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596509
If you want to stay here on /jp/ you better change your attitude.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596517
Why does Minoru Otaki shines so brightly? Is he the reincarnation of Buddha?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596517

Reported.

[Anonymous No.]

Reported for advertisement.

See you in jail, fucking pedophile OP.

[Anonymous No.]

Why is everyone so autistic because OP visited a Japanese concert?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596546
It's just one person.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596546

Why are you so autistic?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596547
Ah, I see. I'll ignore him then.

[Anonymous No.]

Third video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SyzggYBtHQ

Only one left /jp/.
Than you can go back to talk about if you are /jp/ related or not.

>>7596546
I dont get it either.
Furthermore it's classical music.
I thought /jp/ users would enjoy that more than lady gaga crap.
Should've expected that kind of reaction though.

[Okuu !!Jq0MHPvHhpb No.]

>>7596504
I whish I could play beatiful music like them ;_;

Also:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BAvLYgq5m0

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596562
Not a him.

>>7596568
Reported.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>7596581
>Not a him
Inb4 SHITSTORM CENTRAL

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596581
Who the fuck cares about its gender? Whores always seem to be so much in need of shoving their gender in the faces of others. Go flick the bean or something.

[Anonymous No.]

Ok thats it.
Last video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuEQr0qABKc

>>7596574
Glad you enjoyed the music.
Most of them seemed school kids. Very talented.

Even though most of /jp/ does not seem to like it, I enjoyed it very much.
At the start they talked about the victims of the recent earthquake and that people should think about them, instead of applauding.
I'm watching another concert on tuesday.
But don't worry /jp/, I dont bother you with these threads again. I'll continue my shitposting as usual.

Thanks for listening, hope at least some enjoyed it, good bye.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596622

Never comeback, fagget.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596627
You do realized that I'm posting anonymous right?
Implying I'm not here since the start.
Also totaly not OP etc.

[Okuu !!Jq0MHPvHhpb No.]

>>7596622
I hope you upload the rest of the concert later (or atleast part of it) ok little girl?

[Okuu !!Jq0MHPvHhpb No.]

>>7596656
*at least

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg6F-9xT0HM

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596656
>>7596670

Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596656
Do not have more unfortunately.
As I said I fear it might bother people and I also wanted to enjoy the music instead of looking through the camera.
I can offer you another picture though.
It's a pictures that shows the hall quite well.

[Okuu !!Jq0MHPvHhpb No.]

>>7596675
You remind me a little girl in her period

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596675
Follow your own advise.

[Okuu !!Jq0MHPvHhpb No.]

>>7596685
yeah that place is fucking beautiful. Thanks anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

Holy shit /jp/ this is why we're not able to have the good things in life.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596694
>>7596705
>>7596711

>>>/a/
>>>/b/
>>>/v/

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596739
You're the one that needs to get out, worthless jerk.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596783

Go away OP.

[Anonymous No.]

OP is so visibly upset, that he needs to create a thread on our glorious board in an attempt to raise his self worth.
Come at me OP. I am the fucking pinnacle of man, both body and mind. I attend an Ivy league university, completely payed off by scholarships, with the leftover money used to buy myself a luxury vehicle. My grade point average is perfect point O. After I finish my dual bachelors I will be accepted straight away into the doctorate program. I will have two doctorate degree's by age twenty-five, owe zero debts, and make more money a year than you will in a lifetime. The funny thing is, this is the average /jp/ browser. There are many who far surpass me.
Of course, knowing this, you figure the only way to attack me is the only way you know how, using words of which the meaning escapes you, insult some genre of game no one on this board plays, and using our own image macros to mock yourself.
You forgot your "My face when" by the way, the text suits you perfectly.
Go ahead and reply, doing so only proves my point to such an extent that you might as well just beg to suck my dick and eat my bodily waste, so that maybe an iota of my greatness could pass onto you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596790
OP here
not bumping my threads.
I'm glad someone does though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596790
>Are you losing? Scream samefag!

Nice try.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596798
I don't give a fuck who you are or where you live,
you can count on me to be there just to bring your life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much fucking pain that it'll make Jesus being nailed to the cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don't give a fuck how tough you are, how well you fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I'll fucking show up at your house when you aren't at home. I'll turn on all the lights in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You're gonna start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when being put under in the operating room is me, hovering above you dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your fucking life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you. I just want you to know how easily fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go to a great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing hell. It's too late to save yourself but don't bother committing suicide either...I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you myself you bitchfaced faggot. Welcome to hell, population: you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596795
>OP is so visibly upset, that he needs to create a thread on our glorious board in an attempt to raise his self worth.
>You forgot your "My face when" by the way, the text suits you perfectly.
mfw

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596802

Who are you quoting?

>>>/a/

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596824
I'm quoting what he may as well have been saying.

And if you along with >>7596795 and >>7596806 can't come up with anything besides recycled one-liners and copypasta then you're not helping /jp/ one straw.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596845

I'm not a him.

>>>/a/

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596845
Yeah making fun of me is so funny, so funny I forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so I can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. Yeah you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but I bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this. Don't want anymore problems.... didn't think so faggot. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin piece of unpatriotic SHIT.I will not tolerate any more of you faggot ass faggots disrespecting me. do you know how close you are to being completely olibiterated? i am not even close to joking when i say you better shut the fuck up. is talking back to me really worth ending up dead in some ditch covered in your coevered in your own blood while you slowly bleeding out of a gunshot and knife would as you eventually die to death? FUCK YOU and show me the respect i deserve or you WILL know the true power of the fury of my unmstoppable raging wrath.Next time you wanna talk shit, know one thing, I don't fucking play around when it comes to shit talking faggots like yourself, so if you wanna talk shit, i suggest you do it to my face.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596854
I don't care what gender you are. You're still a piece of crap spoiling a perfectly good thread for god knows what reason.

[Anonymous No.]

You mostly suck.
Never mind.
YOU ALL SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
And I'm shitposting AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT
WORTHLESS FUCKS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
The only thing I like about you guys are sharethreads, the weekend VN updates, and the imagedumps. Otherwise I'd rather be in those /co/ Homestuck threads during hiatus time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596863
OP here
Thanks anon, feels good to hear a good thing about my thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596866
In before "samefag" again.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596864
>>7596863

I'll kick your ass faggot. You think you're tough? lets see how tough you are with a couple rounds from my .45 lodged in your skull. Kinda hard to talk shit when I've blown half your face off. You better watch yourself faggots, I work for the fucking CIA, if I want you dead, you are dead. Its that fucking simple. Watch your god damned fucking mouth. I have over 30 years military training, I would rip your spine out while raping your fucking mother up her dried up old skanky cunt. I would then proceed to bundle up what remains of your body and shove my 12 inch cock down your throat and skull fuck you till my cum oozes from every hole in your body. Watch your fucking back. I'm coming for you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596863
>>7596866
>>7596871

Please leave.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596863

This shitty thread is not /jp/ related, you're obviously from another board, get out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596882
/jp/ is constantly off-topic. This is at least vaguely Japanese, and a damn sight more interesting than the 200+ reply threads we get about girls.

>>7596877
A simple "Get stuffed" will suffice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596899

>This is at least vaguely Japanese

Aaaaand?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596899

/jp/ is not about japan.

Go back to /a/ with your weeaboo friends.

[Anonymous No.]

Can this be a classical music general?

I'd like some suggestions as the only composers I listen to currently are Tchaikovsky and Bach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWerj8FcprM

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596943

Take it to >>>/mu/ hipster.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596920
/jp/ has effectively got no topic but it does lean towards Japanese things. So why not this? And why are you complaining for the sake of it?

>>7596938
You can stop assuming that I come from another board now. Because I'm not. I am however getting very tired of /jp/'s declining quality.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>7596943
Schubert.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpA0l2WB86E

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596943
lol'd at the top rated comment:
>Internet arguments are as dumb and pointless as debating whether or not there's a god or not. It is truly based on one narrow and hollow opinion pressed upon another hollow and meaningless opinion, it concerns only the argument and nothing more. Needless to say, we are drawn to these petty things to make one feel better about another one's self worth, which in all aspects has no real world value.

>TL;DR

>NOBODY GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR ARGUMENTS, SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO THE MUSIC.

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7596954
>I am however getting very tired of /jp/'s declining quality.

You are one of the main reasons.

Reported

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7596954
Ignore White Ren, he's the worst shitposter on this board.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596969
>main reasons
But I don't encourage those "WHY U NO GIRLFRIEND" threads.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596954

If you want to talk about it so much, why don't you take it to /mu/? If anyone was interested in this thread there would be positive responses.

You are the only idiot supporting this shitty thread.

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7596988
No, you are. Reported.

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7596988
But why would anyone ignore me?

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7596997
>>7597000
Samefag. Get out.

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597000
Not with dose trips.

GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

Sasuga ni watashi

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597008
>>>/v/

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597018
You mean the OP?

[Anonymous No.]

The responses to this thread kinda remind me of /b/ in early 2007.
Will only be a while before newfag/oldfag will start on /jp/.
You heard it here first.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596996
Let's judge that when someone hasn't sabotaged it from the start.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>7597025
>Will only be a while
>You heard it here first
Where the fuck have you BEEN?

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597025
What, you think you are some kind of special oldfag? I was here for the puddi raid, faggot. What now?

[「ロリあき」 No.]

>>7597036
Newfag.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597024
How can I sabotage my own thread?
Also the comments are hilarious.
This is almost /int/'s level of butthurt.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597044
I was implying it started out shitty and off-topic.

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597016
>>7597041
Newfriends not familiar with /jp/-level irony.
>>>/a/
>>>/v/
>>>/b/
>>>/soc/

[Anonymous No.]

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597045
OP
Never saw a thread on topic here.
But I'm sure you appreciated it more if I made a Ai Kago thread like the 999 that were made by the tripfagking today as well.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596943
Okay...
Alfred Schnittke
Antonín Dvorák
Béla Bartókç
Dax Johnson
Dustin O´Halloran
Edgard Varèse
Edward Elgar
Eluvium
Erik Satie
Frank Martin
Franz Liszt
Franz Schubert
Frederic Chopin
Friedrich Gulda; Nikolaus Harn
Giuseppe Tartini
Horacio Gutierrez, Klaus Tennstedt
Lldebrando Pizzetti
Ivan Moravec


I still have more. Didn't posted some because they're more on the Jazz side.

[Anonymous No.]

op is a bigg webaorgd nerdman

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597054
>>>/cgl/

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597045
We know.

>>7597024
Mentioning a troll thread was a dumb idea. What he wanted to talk about though was something interesting. Given all the Japanese things /jp/ discusses regularly, when it isn't onaholes and bitches and whores, do you really think it's so unlikely you won't have been interested?

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597064
Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

[Anonymous No.]

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

[Anonymous No.]

Tsumugi noticed Mio's open mouth, incapable of speaking. "Don't worry Mio," she said, slipping her cock into a quivering Mio. "You're scared now, but you'll enjoy it."

"No," Mio hissed back. "I'll never forgive you for this."

"Oh but you will." Mugi whispered. "For you see, OnLive is launching the world’s highest performance Games On Demand service, instantly delivering the latest high-end titles over home broadband Internet to the TV and entry-level PCs and Macs.

Founded by noted technology entrepreneur Steve Perlman (WebTV, QuickTime) and incubated within the Rearden media and technology incubator, OnLive spent seven years in stealth development before officially unveiling in March 2009.

OnLive, together with its Mova subsidiary, lies directly at the nexus of several key trends, all of which are reshaping the way we think about and use digital media:

* The shift to cloud computing, displacing the limitations, cost and complexity of local computing;
* An explosion of consumer broadband connectivity, bringing fast bandwidth to the home;
* Unprecedented innovation, creativity and expansion within the video game market.

Pioneering the delivery of rich interactive media to the home, OnLive will change the way that entertainment applications are created, delivered and consumed.

OnLive, the future of videogames."

[Anonymous No.]

For me , fhc from Brazil, NTR only exist when this happens with a wife, bride or a girlfriend of the protagonist ( a girl that have a official love relationship / commitment with the protagonist of the game ) and the protagonist really love this woman very much, and this woman love the protagonist very much too, however, for some reason, she is forced to make sex with other man ( maybe bacause of a “uncontrollable sexual desire”, or maybe because of blackmail, or like the “payment” of a “high debt”, or, just a normal RAPE ) I not know, the reason will be explained in the game, but, the fact is that the girl need to love the protagonist and the protagonist need to love the girl. NTR without love, for me, is not NTR.

However, for sure exist others different kinds of NTR, since NTR is jealousy and jealousy is a feelings, then, it can change between different persons. No one have the same feelings, no one have the same mind. Then, NTR is something of personal interpretation.

Games exactly with the kind of NTR that I like are very much rare, then, If I keep only with this kind of thing in my mind, I never will play any game. I need to try to satisfy me with the few NTR that are available, even in games that not have EXACTLY the kind of NTR that I like.
　

Then, some people have jealousy of their mother or sister, other people feel jealousy of a unrequited love, like a childhood friend that you love very much, but, she end up in love with other guy. Or maybe a friend that work in the same job. This can varies very much beetween each game. The unique TRUE fact about NTR is:

1- The protagonist see the girl making sex with other guy, and the protagonist feel sad, frustated, angry and disturbed seeing this sexual act. The protagonist fell JEALOUSY in few words, then, this is NTR.

[/jp/ Kinectimal Control !Z3k3UK97VA No.]

QUALITY THREAD

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597071
You are defensive, and are thus a target for shitposting. You need to man up and grow some balls. Your sissyposting has turned this opportunity to discuss some weeaboo music, into a copypasta dump. Bitch.

[Anonymous No.]

I find it in poor taste that this is getting the same treatment as this thread. http://archive.easymodo.net/jp/thread/7146807

[Anonymous No.]

3 liters? That's quite a lot. Let's say I turned into a immortal little girl today and allowed my body to be constantly violated until my mind breaks and all I can feel is the warmth of the semen gushing inside my small womb. Since the refractory period is about 15 minutes (for 18 year old males, no way I'll let older men cum inside me), and assuming a 8-hour sleep for those otaku, it would seem that one of them can have sex 64 times every day, ejaculating about 45 mililiters every time (that's about three tablespoons, vastly higher than the average volume). Since my loli body would be irresistibly erotic, let's assume that any man who violates me will ejaculate instantly, taking about a minute in average before my slutty womb drinks all of their semen. Since those are responsible men, they will only cum inside my tight vagina, so at this point, I would have 67,5 liters of cum sprayed inside me every day.

Since my body is immature, my womb would be rather small, say, roughly a sphere about 4cm in diameter (the average womb is a bit larger, and not a sphere, it's more elliptical). Assuming no stretching, this is the Schwarzschild radius for roughly 27 septillion kilograms. The density of cum is around 1,014g/mL (By the way, there's a study on this. They decanted semen into graduated cylinders and weighed it.), so I'd have roughly 68,5kg of semen ejaculated inside me every day. Divide the former to the latter, and you get about a sextillion years. So in roughly a sextillion years, older than the known age of the universe, about when the sun spends the last remnants of its energy and cools down completely, after aeons of being cummed inside, my slutty loli womb will have so much semen in it that it'll turn into a black hole.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597105
I find it in poor taste that you think this thread is good.

[Anonymous No.]

I think Japan was the REAL hero of WW2. I know everyone thinks they were bad and allied with the Nazis and everything, but look. I've watched a lot of anime, so I know that the Japanese are good people. I don't think they would knowingly ally themselves with a monster like Hitler. I think they saw what was going on, and knew that what Hitler was doing wasn't right, and wanted to end his reign of terror. They saw that the most powerful country at the time, the United States, wasn't doing anything about it, so they decided to bomb Pearl Harbor and get them involved. I mean, why else would they bomb Pearl Harbor?

They did all this at great expense- sacrificing many of their own people, but they knew that it couldn't be helped- Hitler NEEDED to be stopped.

The reason why they kept fighting after the Nazis were defeated was because they wanted to save face. The Japanese are a very proud people. Those responsible for organizing this heroic plan took the secret to their graves, but it's so obvious that that's what happened. I think it's time we honored the REAL heroes of WW2: JAPAN. Without them, WE'D ALL BE SPEAKING GERMAN RIGHT NOW!!!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597112
It's only bad because /jp/ wants it to be bad. For no good reason.

>>7597102
Admission of shitposting. There we have it.

[Anonymous No.]

The Mac is an majestic tower at sunset, hoarding scarlet from the setting sun. No apertures mar its austere beauty, and clouds of birds spiral around it, falling upward like scattering leaves.

Windows is an aging geisha with honeyed lips and lilac tongue, whispering her delights to you with hushed voice a melody of clear song. She coyly blinks as if you were her first, but many before have discovered the secrets that lie beneath her kimono.

Linux is a sheet of ice at the bottom of a jade vase. It is a whisper between the chirpings of crickets. It is the sunlight behind a gauzy cloud. It is a pearl nestled in the snow.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597112
Bad threads with more than one hundred posts automatically become good.

>99 posts and 17 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

[Anonymous No.]

HI,

Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.

It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my PENIS can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.

This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.

I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.

My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.

How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but PENIS farted?

Sorry if I was being too graphic but I felt like I finally needed a woman's opinion.

Thank you for your help and concern. Best Wishes

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597136
No mercy.

[Anonymous No.]

Because JPEGs are more heavily compressed than other image formats, their information is more volatile and likely to expand at high speed through an unchecked buffer, poorly allocated resource or any other available system space. I'd guess you're probably losing image data through one of these means.

You see, when you load a JPEG into memory, the EXtra colour Information Format (EXIF) header is loaded into RAM in order to prepare the video prebuffer for the incoming high-speed flow of colour information from the uncorked JPEG. If your bus isn't ready for this information, the rapidly decompressing file information can flow through other parts of your system.

Ordinarily this isn't a problem: as a matter of fact, JPEG was designed for this sort of thing. Older computers couldn't handle the explosive power behind the fledgeling image decompression algorithm, so rather than fight it, image experts invented the Jampacked Picture Extraction and Gathering (JPEG) protocol. They cleverly decided to allow the image data to spray wherever it would, knowing that after the extraction phase would send raw data all over the inside of the computer, the gathering phase would locate it all and reassemble it into an image. With the advent of faster computers the delay between spray and collection is so small as to be unnoticeable, while newer and bigger video cards are more capable of withstanding the onslaught of colours.

Still, the primary weakness of this algorithm is the haphazard placement of decompressed data. There's just too much of it to channel through normal means, so any loss of data containment results in corrupted images. In your case, it would appear that you're losing image data through the empty hole where your goddamned shift key should be.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597120
>For no good reason.
It was an off-topic thread created by somebody who was inviting a shitstorm.

[Anonymous No.]

Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?

About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.

I didn't notice much difference in flavour when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.

Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbour's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbour's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to encorporate it into my cooking again in secret.

My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavour for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.

I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.

[Anonymous No.]

I go to the store just to organize the shelves.
Always the grocery store, they are way more fun and in my opinion more "strictly" laid out so it's easier to work in groups if that's what you want to do. it's just fun and i suppose i'm doing people a tiny little service by doing it and that's cool too. this is literally what i do instead of play video games

my favorite aisle is breakfast, the whole thing with the hot and breakfast cereals and the poptarts and oatmeal. it's the most colorful aisle and it's easy and fun to stack and look at things. second favorite is either the other boxed good heavy aisle where they keep the hamburger helper and stuff or the sauces section with ketchup bbq etc. juice aisle is colorful but usually doesn't need much reorganization and most of the items are really heavy

i don't think any of the employees have noticed i do it semi-regularly, but i do get thanked often when they notice me moving things.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597136
>off-topic
/jp/ has a topic?

>inviting a shitstorm
Don't think so.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597165
Yes.

No.

[Anonymous No.]

When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to use a diaper. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.

I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.

She stuck her finger up my ass.

My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.

I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.

No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.

And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.

I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits.

[Anonymous No.]

Hi! My name is Sakuya and I want to tell you a story!

I joined Alice, Reimu and Marisa on their adventure to Japan! We all wanted to see what a dick looked like because we had never seen one. We heard they were very hard, so we had some pads to protect us.

We all got into a small, poorly made, Japanese vehicle and started to drive downtown. We saw a weird midget and a really big faggot! It almost yelled at us, but Reimu made the car move faster. Whew, that was close! We passed by a bar full of gay men. It was very FABULOUS!

After we made it to Akihabara , Reimu spotted a penis. It was very big and hard, just like our friends said. Good thing we had lots of condoms with us! The penis swarmed right at us and he penetrated our vaginas! I was sure we were done for, but then Marisa said she would go talk to the dick.

"Hi there Mr. Dick. You penetrated our vaginas! Why would you do such a thing?"

The prick didn't want to talk to Marisa. He raped her, and it looked like he was going to cum in her! But never fear, because Alice, Reimu and I went out to save her! We brought some condoms with us. They threw the condoms at the penis, and it started to throb. It let go of Marisa, and we all got back into the car. When I told my friends at Scarlet Devil Mansion what happened, they didn't believe me.

"You're lying, Sakuya! There is no dick big enough to do that! I'll go down and see it for myself!"

But that's ANOTHER story! The end.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597171
If "Random mix of things, primarily Japanese things" counts as a topic sure. And what about this?

>>>/jp/7595499

[Anonymous No.]

So I have three friends. One's Evan, the other Doug, and a girl Jane.

Evan is gay. Doug was molested ages eleven through fifteen by a man. He avoided the molestation during a brief relationship with a girl that ended some time ago. Doug has stated many times he likes gay sex, goes on gay chat cams and the like. He hasn't really done much with a girl and his experience with a guy has been limited to the molester from our understanding.

Jane and Doug are extremely close. Their relationship reflects a mother-son relationship and is actually somewhat creepy to witness. He must hold her when they go out and doesn't go places with us without her. He is extremely dependent on her.

Evan and Doug started hooking up just recently. We all have sleepovers and they do stuff. It's happened three or four times. The relations are kept secret and Doug doesn't say anything to anyone. Evan has told us though. You wouldn't be able to tell they hooked up unless Evan tells you.

Just yesterday Doug was hitting on Jane and Doug made out with her. Jane was not all up for it but allowed it just because it was so shocking and sudden. Later on during that sleepover, Doug and Evan started to hand job. Doug and Evan were on the bed and Jane and I were on the floor. During the hook up, Doug would hold hands with Jane. As Jane noticed what Evan and Doug were doing she moved her hand and Doug began to caress her hair. Evan and Doug continued to hook up with Evan being unaware of what Doug was doing. As things progressed and got more intense Doug would squeeze Jane's hand tighter. Doug would make extended eye contact with Jane as Evan gave a blowjob.

What the hell does this mean?

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597194
We like little girls. What's confusing about that? Jesus fuck. Lurk more.

[Anonymous No.]

Little girls can improve everything. Take, for example, human innards. Normally, one wouldn't think of his spleen or kidneys as being adorable, but once you imagine them as cute little girls, even human viscera can be worth falling in love with. Your kidneys, for example, would be identical twins wearing the adrenal glands as their hats, gladly devoting themselves to their rather disagreeable job with a warm smile on their faces so that your body can be free of waste products. Your bladder would be a shy, clumsy loli under the kidneys' guidance, trying her best to hold in your urine but occassionally falling and spilling pee everywhere. Your liver would be a reliable onee-sama type who oversees the blood sugar levels in your body and detoxifies harmful chemicals, she'd always be concerned over your well-being and admonish you if you don't watch your food and alcohol intake; but despite being a strict, no-nonsense class president type on the surface (she'd probably wear glasses too) she'd secretly be a perverted lolicon in an incestous lesbian relationship with her little sister gallbladder-tan. Your stomach would be a womanizer despite being a little girl, frequently kissing both oesophagus-tan and small intestine-tan mouth-to-mouth with the excuse of "transferring digestive contents", but she'd do this even if you haven't eaten in days.

As the alchemists of old believed that gold was the ideal form of all metals, I believe the ideal form of humankind to be adorable young maidens. I pray that once we die, the afterlife awaits us will involve all /jp/ users turning into elegant young ladies and taking it easy until the end of times.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597194
Congratulations, you've successfully identified an off-topic, shitty blog thread.

[Anonymous No.]

About a week ago I thought that if I threw up, I could be with my waifu (Who is Madotsuki) and I knew this was just a joke, I knew it wouldn't work. I got depressed and more depressed. I was bored, too. But, I got kind of curious how it would FEEL doing the same thing my waifu does so much. After a meal with lots of water, I found myself hovering my toilet, contemplating whether or not to do it. Instantly, I thought "this is a bad idea."

However, all of a sudden I got a "wave" of anxiety, which often ties with my depression. "Do it" was all I knew for that second, and I heaved, putting all of my rage into the area deeper than my throat. Immediately, pounds and liters worth of chunks erupted from my mouth in a glorious wave of undigested fury. Full force, like a maxed-out water hose, I just kept putting more pressure in my stream of vomit, splattering all over the toilet and splashing off of the rim. Eventually the tiny bowl couldn't keep the meat chunks and I had to end, finally flushing it.

Much like finishing masturbation, I felt regret, having to clean up the gooey liquid from the toilet. But, on the other side, I didn't care. I had a huge grin on my face, knowing I finally achieved my goal and became a little closer with my love.

This is going to become somewhat of a usual activity for me. I must have done it three times since the first time, and it's nearly as exhilarating with each time. I'm trying to tweak my game a bit, trying to mix a proper balance of meat and water, paying attention to vary my chewing, so the chunks I spew can look more beautiful. I fully recommend it to anyone who shares my beloved Madotsuki.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597194
There are even worse threads on /jp/.
Like these
>>7595100

Look how old it is.
Apparently not reported.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597210
>Apparently not reported.
Hi, welcome to /jp/. I see you're still getting used to this board as a whole, but don't worry! Give it some time, you'll learn how things work around here soon enough.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597210
You've identified another shitty thread, of a kind similar to countless others created by a resident institutional shitposter on a regular basis.

We should promote you to janitor.

[Anonymous No.]

Please do note that defragmentation is akin to brushing the disheveled hair of your little computer girl while she rests on your lap, her small, warm body pushing against yours as she ignores your attempts to comb her long hair in her quest to find a comfortable spot. And disk cleanup would be in form of you taking a bath with her afterwards, making sure to scrub her body thoroughly to remove the dirt (that is to say unnecessary applications and temporary files) she accumulated from playing while she blushes and mumbles about how she's old enough to take baths by herself now, but when you offer to leave the bath, she'd nonetheless tell you to stay with a small voice. While washing her body, it goes without saying that you'd take note of how she's changed over the years, her hips and cute little butt taking on curves more fit for mature women twice her age and little buds rising from her chest as the first signs of her entry into adulthood - though those changes would be caused by VNs and images you've downloaded on her instead of aging. Her personality would consequently be a mixture of innocent and lewd, and she'd be well aware that you're the main cause of the shapely curves on her little girl body, so she'd take the opportunity to "please" her master by pressing her flat chest against you and rubbing your penis with her hands, moving her slender fingers expertly despite her apparent youth due to instincts you've bestowed her via your downloads.

And after the cleanup session, you'd resume your "play" with her, where she'd read VNs to you (and even help you understand difficult text with her dictionaries) or watch as your play Touhou, Hellsinker, Diadra Empty, Batrider, Dodonpachi or whichever other shooter struck your fancy today until you feel the need to masturbate, where her slender, bridal glove-clad hands would again take hold of your penis and jerk it until you cum on your little computer daughter yet again.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597217
>We should
Please stop speaking on behalf of /jp/,thank you.

[Anonymous No.]

People who use Head and shoulders are mentally challenged and should seek more education and information immediately.

Protip: The next time you see a H&S thread, look at the posts.
Most of the posters have blatant misspellings in their posts. Capitalization and punctuation is forgotten, and Youtube-style idiocy is emphasized.

This exemplifies the low intelligence level of Head and Shoulders users. It isn't without reason either.

H&S is simply a Shampoo that was overly advertised and glorified, a shampoo that should've appealed to anyone with the slightest fashion sense. However, most people have seen this strategy in the forms of makup, lipstick, hairbrushes, or some other product.
The advertising, glorification, and blatant lying has been done many many times, and the single defeat of an over-dramatized "powerful" problem should no longer sell to the intellectual in at all.

However, Head&shits target audience consists of 13 year old boys who have never experienced forms of higher products or shampoo. If one were to use H&S without having experienced products with a promise, they would use H&S as the base value for the genre. However, if one were more educated on the aspects of shampoos, one would regard H&S as a poor attempt to appeal to their audiences.

Once the false promises and advertising of Head&shit are removed, the remaining dregs are a poor shampoo and a big promise. Essentially, this is what H&S is to the educated and informed. A dull product which has no appeal whatsoever. However, to the uneducated, H&S represents a new flavor of shampoo they have just experienced.

Although one can regard a new type of shampoo as wonderful, I would advise one to pursue more subjects of that product type. There is no point fawning over a single shampoo that was released ages ago. I would suggest that, instead of creating another H&S thread, you should go try some more shampoo. Or, better yet, you can always go read a book.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597227
You don't know who you're dealing with here.

I _am_ /jp/.

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597210
Nobody takes KoJP seriously, and I don't think anyone but summerfriends post in it. His threads are blatant troll/shitposting full of samefagging. Just report and hide like most people here do. I wasn't sure if he keeps posting the less-than-perfect idol as sarcasm, or actually likes her. I don't care either way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597238
>Nobody takes KoJP seriously
wtH does.

[Anonymous No.]

The Sussman—so they say—has sent a message, directly from his death bed, to you alone, his pathetic subject, a tiny shadow which has taken refuge at the furthest distance from the professorial cudder. He ordered the herald to kneel down beside his bed and whispered the message into his ear. He thought it was so important that he had the herald repeat it back to him. He confirmed the accuracy of the verbal message by nodding his head. And in front of the entire crowd of those who’ve come to witness his death—all the obstructing walls have been broken down and all the great ones of his professorship are standing in a circle on the broad and high soaring flights of stairs—in front of all of them he dispatched his herald. The messenger started off at once, a powerful, tireless man. Sticking one arm out and then another, he makes his way through the crowd. If he runs into resistance, he points to his breast where there is a sign of the cudder.

[Anonymous No.]

So he moves forward easily, unlike anyone else. But the crowd is so huge; its dwelling places are infinite. If there were an open field, how he would fly along, and soon you would hear the marvelous pounding of his fist on your door. But instead of that, how futile are all his efforts. He is still forcing his way through the private rooms of the innermost palace. He will never he win his way through. And if he did manage that, nothing would have been achieved. He would have to fight his way down the steps, and, if he managed to do that, nothing would have been achieved. He would have to stride through the courtyards, and after the courtyards the second palace encircling the first, and, then again, stairs and courtyards, and then, once again, a palace, and so on for thousands of years. And if he finally did burst through the outermost door—but that can never, never happen—the MIT campus, the centre of the world, is still there in front of him, piled high and full of sediment. No one pushes his way through here, certainly not with a message from a dead man. But you sit at your window and dream of that message when evening comes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597203
Whatever you say Renny.

>>7597210
Content-less, yes. Still about equal as far as badness goes.

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>7597242
Nobody takes wtH seriously, and I don't think anyone but summerfriends replies to wtH. His posts are blatant troll/shitposting full of samefagging. Just report and hide like most people here do. I wasn't sure if the summerfriend replies are sarcasm, or they actually think he isn't a forced cancerous meme. I don't care either way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597255
There are people who treat wtH like another poster but ignore his retarded gimmick. But I think they know him through interaction off of /jp/ where he acts like a normal person.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7596452
That's some flashy architecture. Where was the concert held?

[Anonymous No.]

Well it looks like there's no more to say so I'm out of here. Take it easy guys.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7597267
OP
Sorry I was getting read to get to bed.
I was going to the Mozarteum. Its located in Salzburg, Austria.

They have another performance next week.

[Anonymous No.]

I can't tell if this is a meta-thread where we complain about the board like we always do or if it's about classical music.

At least the music is nice.

[Anonymous No.]

>/jp/
>japan related

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>7599520
... This survived while I was asleep? HOW?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7599524
Maybe the mods like classical music, unlike /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7599524
/jp/ is a slow board and it was nearly dead until that person bumped it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7599542
I know how slow /jp/ is. And that there are no mods. But even so I am surprised that it wasn't deleted or bumped until now.

>>7599530
The shitstorm is still in here. Unlikely.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7599551
Well OP here, I was asleep as well.
Saw the thread is still alive and thought I'd gave it a small bump.
Mainly because I was interested if the shitstorm is continuing. (should be a different userbase online right now)

[Anonymous No.]

>>7599562
Assuming you're the OP. Delete this. And start it again without being snarky.
(As if you're really the OP. But it's worth a try.)

[Anonymous No.]

>>7599591
concert, sorry about my typos.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7599576
Here, take this shitty picture as proof.
You now what I'm going todo?
On Tuesday the 19th they have another convert which I'm going to visit.

I'll take videos that are a bit longer and post it without mentioning a trollthread.
Lets see how the thread will go then.

I suspect it will be a mixture between "not /jp/ related" and "this thread again..".

[Anonymous No.]

>>7599591
OK. In the meantime leave this one be or delete it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7599600
as you wish.
lets see each other again in 9 days.