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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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7563342 No.7563342 [Reply] [Original]

>> No.7563348

I'm black.
And yeah it's that big.

>> No.7563353

I'm glad I don't.
God knows what I'd catch when I'm fucking my pokemon.

>> No.7563359

I'd rather be cute. But I'll never be that either.

>> No.7563377

And I'm thankful for that. I would really hate to have people staring at it on the rare occasions I'm outside.

>> No.7563380

But at least I'll have my...

U-RU-TO-RA SOUL, HEY!

>> No.7563391

http://esuccubus.com/file/91

Your move.

>> No.7563396

What's an ultrapenis? A penis possessed by an Ultramarine? Aren't Space Marine dicks shriveled and useless anyway since one can't fight with his dick and therefore dicks are useless in the grim, dark future of the 40th millennium? Or was one of their combat modifications a lasso penis they could throw at their enemies from a distance? After acid spit and the ability to eat people's memories, that wouldn't surprise me.

Or is it a penis that is superior in some way? For example, it ejaculates special sperm that explodes? Or ice-enchanted penis adapted for tenderly loving cold-associated monstergirls without distress to both parties? Or does it turn anything it touches into a cute girl for maximum intercourse capacity, sort of like the ability of that guy from Monogokoro, Monomusume? I'd like to have such a penis; I'd use it to turn all of the world's monuments into cute girls. Leaning Tower of Pisa would be the droopy, tall girl wearing seven bell accessories on her hair, the Pyramids of Giza would be three little brown girls (and Wer-Khafre-tan would constantly argue with Akhet-Khufu-tan over who is taller), the Basilica of St. Peter would be a righteous moe~ girl who used to be flat and plain but has since grown into a very cute young woman (since St. Peter's modest tomb had a great number of upgrades, often at exorbitant costs) Machu Picchu would be a mountain-dwelling savage who just happens to be an unparalleled genius when it comes to large scale engineering and so on.

I'd go around "stealing" the world's architecture by adding them to my harem like some sort of perverted Carmen Sandiego. This would be the best.

>> No.7563432

I honestly don't understand all this fuss about having a big penis, it's like completely irrelevant to please a woman. As long as you don't have a microphallus you are good. One must really be insecure to worry about his penis' size. Pretty pathetic...

>> No.7563475

You will never have a cyber-penis.

>> No.7563485

>>7563432
Says the faggot with a tiny dick LOL!

>> No.7563506

>>7563485
Your MOM wasn't complaining last night!

>> No.7563511

At least I have a Mega-Cock. It's good enough for me.

>> No.7563543
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7563543

>> No.7563545

You mena hyper weapon?

>> No.7563553

You will never have a cute little penis you can put a ribbon on ;_;

>> No.7563571
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7563571

>>7563543

>> No.7563575
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7563575

>>7563571

>> No.7563599

>>7563432
I think masturbation would be better with a longer penis.
What the hell makes you think I want it to please girls?

>> No.7563603
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7563603

>>7563575

>> No.7563614
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7563614

>> No.7563617

>>7563432
I just wish I could masturbate using both hands at the same time.

>> No.7563626
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7563626

>>7563603
I know how that story goes. Sicko.

>> No.7563633
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7563633

>> No.7563632

>>7563599

The best you could do with a longer penis is self fellatio with marginally less effort...Normally you'd have to stretch and shit to accomplish that. I guess you could try sticking it in your ass when its flaccid too but that'd probalbly get painful once it starts getting hard.

>> No.7563641

>>7563553

Why would I want a ribbon on my penis? That's silly.

>> No.7563645
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7563645

>>7563633

>> No.7563665

>>7563432
I know it's not particularly relevant to /jp/, but, a larger penis is more effective at removing the semen of any men a woman has recently had sex with, so she is more likely to get pregnant with your sperm and not someone else's. The more you know.

>> No.7563690

>having a pussy

> not giving a fuck about this thread

> needsmoretouhoues.jpg

>> No.7563706
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7563706

>>7563690
Have you tried staring in a fighting game?

>> No.7563763
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7563763

I'm as ultra as it gets.

>> No.7564211

>>7563665
>a larger penis is more effective at removing the semen of any men a woman has recently had sex with
SLOPPY SECONDS

>> No.7564619
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7564619

>> No.7564627
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7564627

Gahaha! Who needs an ultra penis when you could have a hyper weapon?

>> No.7564631
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>> No.7564636
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>> No.7564642
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>> No.7564652
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>> No.7564677
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>> No.7564685
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>> No.7564698
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>> No.7564707
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7564707

Ultra-penises are overrated.

>> No.7564714
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>> No.7564737
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>> No.7564854
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>> No.7565050

>>7563706


...Japanese hentai lines never cease to amaze me.

>> No.7565145

>>7563553

I was thinking the same ;_;

>>
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