/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

>go to bookstop
>see cute girl
>start sweating
>haven't showered in weeks
>smell really bad
>flirt with her
>disgusted look on her face
>run out of store crying
>left my cell phone there
>too much of a pussy to get it back

[Yutanpo !1DeKKAi00Y No.]

OH
HA
NA

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359683
I want to watch this but I know all the girls will be slutty. Why Kishida Mel, why.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359673
>>haven't showered in weeks

Well it's your own fault then, you disgusting faggot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359691
>implying they're all not as pure as driven snow

[Anonymous No.]

You think that's bad?

When I was in 2nd grade, I went on a school trip to colonial williamsburg. My dad was a chaperone for the trip, and when your parent is a chaperone you get to pick who will be in your group with you. I picked a bunch of guys who were more popular than me in hopes that they would become friends with me and I would become popular too.

The children and the chaperones stayed in separate rooms for some reason, so me and my group were all in one room together. For some reason one of them thought it would be a cool idea to take out his penis and start jumping on the bed. This made me uncomfortable because I was in 2nd grade and I knew better than to show my dick to people, but before I knew it all 3 of the kids in my group were jumping on the beds and swinging their dicks around like it was the fucking olympics of dick swinging.

I conspicuously was not partaking in this activity, and just crawled under the covers and decided that I was just going to ignore it and pray the weekend would end sooner.

The three dudes who were supposed to be more popular than me did not like that I was the only one not taking his dick out, so they began to berate me by saying things like, "Oh you must be a faggot because you're too busy looking at our dicks to do anything else. Fucking freak."
"Yeah, you like this don't you, that's why you won't just take yours out, cause you're afraid it'll end."
Just a bunch of nonsense bullshit like that, and it didn't end for awhile.
Then all the sudden it got really quiet. I didn't know what was going on because I had my eyes shut really tight because I was a kid and I didn't know what the fuck was going on or how to react.

All the sudden I felt something soft brush against my lips, and I opened my eyes, and one of them had rubbed his dick head against my fucking mouth.

I am 23, and I have never told anyone this story before.

[Anonymous No.]

You sure have a lot of exciting experiences!

Why do these threads always get responded to endlessly? Is this some greentext troll project going on in IRC or a single person bumping his own thread?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359705
You'er right, they're as pure as snow that has been driven over for several days.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359707

[Anonymous No.]

>In bookstore buying manga
>Cute girl sitting on the floor reading Soul Eater
>Forgive her terrible tastes and try to start a conversation with her
>She smiles and goes back to reading
>I list all my favorite manga in case she read any of them
>She asks me to leave her alone
>I tell her how pretty she is
>She cusses at me
>I tell her I love her
>She starts yelling
>Store security come over to see whats going on
>I calmly ask them to leave me to my conversation
>She starts lying to them about me and they try to manhandle me
>Fight back but get way too agitated and get held down
>I ended up pissing myself
>The girl just stands there looking disgusted

Some people...

[Anonymous No.]

OP, you are an idiot. I don't care if you're a hikikomori NEET sitting at home, not showering for months. When you are going to be around other people, take a shower and make yourself presentable. How fucking hard is that.

[Anonymous No.]

If you don't shower twice a day you have no business being outside your room.

[Anonymous No.]

Spaghetti was fucking EVERYWHERE, all over the floor.

[Francis York Morgan !mbHjxjfHlA No.]

>>7359721
>I calmly ask them to leave me to my conversation

I literally lol'd after reading this line. Good stuff.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359735

This made me laugh for some reason.

[Anonymous No.]

why are there people who read and sincerely respond to greentext stories on /jp/ now

what happened

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359750
>sincerely

[Anonymous No.]

>Drunk out of my mind and listening to foreign music
>Decide to e-mail a girl I know.
>Type up some shit about wanting to travel the world.
>I click send without looking over it.
>Go to sleep and Wake up the next day
>Look at my inbox and see that I got a new message
>The reply simply said "Are you okay?"
>Check my sent folder and look over went I sent to her.
>It was the most illegible babble I have ever seen in my life, just a huge wall of nonsensical shit.
>I never spoke to her again out of pure embarrassment.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359707

7359721.jpg

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359775
You easily could have told her something like, "Haha sorry about that, I was pretty shitfaced at the time and I happened to be on the computer..."

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359775
Lmao
I'm sure she would have understood, heck I bet she would have flirted a little bit with you in person

[Anonymous No.]

>>>/a/49495060

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359808
I agree with this guy

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359716

7359778.jpg

[Anonymous No.]

　 ∧＿∧　　　∧＿∧　　　∧＿∧　　 ∧＿∧　 　 　　∧＿∧
　（　・∀・） 　 （　｀ー´）　　（　´∀｀）　 （　ﾟ ∀ﾟ ）　　　 （　＾∀＾）
　（　　　　つ┳∪━━∪━∪━━∪━∪━∪━┳⊂　 　 　つ
　｜ ｜　|　 ┃ This thread has successfully ended. ┃　｜ ｜ ｜
　（＿）＿） ┻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┻　（＿）＿）　　　　　Thank you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359831
Get the fuck out.
Or use a tripcode. Either way I don't want to see you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359836
Don't be such a baby.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359831
　　　∧＿∧ ∩　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　( ´A｀)/ ＜　So now it's just a SJIS thread?
　＿ / /　　 /　　　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿______
＼⊂ノ￣￣￣￣＼
　||＼　　　　　　　　＼
　||＼||￣￣￣￣￣||

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359831

I can't say I have these kinds of experiences, as I'm not a complete social retard and I suppress my power level.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359826

7359705.jpg

[Anonymous No.]

That feeling when this thread has more responses in /jp/ than in /a/ indicating that something went horribly wrong somewhere, probably involving retarded posters.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359867
that feeling when people just want to have fun and laugh at a cheap joke instead of being asspained retards who whine at anything.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359851
Post more please. Especially ones with ｷﾀ━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━!! faces.

[Anonymous No.]

　　　./:::::::::::::::::r':::::::ミi彡:::: .:::::::::`,
　　 /:::::::::::::::::::: ::,,.-:;;人r'ミ:::...ヽ::::`,
　　i':::::::::::::::: :;;ノ"　　　　　　`:ミ:::::::i
　　i::::::.. :彡r'　　　／'　'＼　　 }`::,;}
　 ｛'::::: :彡ﾉ　　 -･=-, ､-･=-　i:::::j
　　i:::.i'　ｼﾘ.　　　 ﾉ( ､_, )ヽ 　 ﾘ::ﾉ
　　 l イ,ゞi　　　ノ､＿_!!＿,.､ 　jﾘﾉ　　　　　　　
　 　 i;:::::::ﾘ 　　　　ヽニﾆｿ 　　j,ﾂ
　　　 l::::::ﾐ、 ;　　 　 　 　 　　/'j.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　　 j:::,iヽ、ヽ 　i、 ､＿　ノ'.::ﾉ
　 -ｰ''"::::＼　　ヽ、 ..,,='" ﾉ i"''ｰ-..,_
"But it's no fun if I don't troll!"
-OP

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359877
That feeling when you are perfectly fine with shitty threads everywhere but other people are not.

[Anonymous No.]

brb suicide

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359877
look to your left. to your right. perhaps even in behind or in front of you.

you should find a door. feel free to use it!

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359901
look at this -> fuck you. you mad? i'm not going anywhere and neither is greentext, copy paste or "shitposting". better kill yourself now. it'll save you the trouble of whining like a bitch on /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359930
>Do not post the following outside of /b/: Trolls, flames, off-topic replies, uncalled for catchphrases.
Reported.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359930
read
>>7359877
well, i guess we can whine together until a mod deletes this off-topic thread(oh wait, we don't have any) promoting bad posting habits!

[Anonymous No.]

I will take this fine opportunity to teach you all the finest techniques in tonfa martial arts.
Tonfa Kick
∧＿∧ 　トンファーキ～ック！
　　　_（　 ´Д｀）
　　　 ／　　　　　　）　　　　　ﾄﾞｺﾞｫｫｫ　＿　　／
∩ 　/　,ｲ　、　　ﾉ/　　　　∧ ∧―＝￣　｀ヽ,　＿
| |　/　/　|　　　（ 〈　∵. ・（　　 〈＿_　>　　゛　、＿
| | ｜ |　 ヽ　　ｰ＝-￣￣＝_、　　（／　,　´ノ　＼
| | ｜ |　　　｀iー＿＿＝―＿　;,　／　／ ／
| |ﾆ(!、)　　　=＿二＿＿￣_=;,　／　／　,'
∪　　　　　/　 /　　　　　　　／　 ／| 　|
　　　　　／　 /　　　　　　　!､＿／ / 　 〉
　　　 ／ ＿/　　　　　　　　　　　　 |_／
　　　 ヽ､＿ヽ

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359940
Oh, looks like I screwed up. Oh well. Lesson's over as I'm not qualified.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359932
>Do not post the following outside of /b/: Trolls, flames, off-topic replies, uncalled for catchphrases.
Reported.

>>7359933
posting whatever i want doesn't count as whining. you should probably learn what it means. it's pitiful seeing adults who can't figure out that kinda simple stuff. what i said would be called mocking or provoking, not whining.

whining
>complaining about the current state of the board

mocking
>i'll continue doing it and you can't stop me

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359950
indeed, i agree it's pitiful seeing adults who can't figure out this kinda simple stuff. what you said would be called whining, not provoking or mocking.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359962
Actually, he was doing all three. But he was still whining.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359962
whatever dipshit. feels like i'm talking with a 12 year old. you can get the last word after this child.
>you're whining about me whining, you're the person whining the most!

[Anonymous No.]

>>7359943
>>7359950
>>7359962
>>7359965
>>7359970
Reported.