/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[BananaBees No.]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jqTLikBqUw&feature=related

anyone seen this, its hilarious, and actually quite accurate, ne? (if this link has been posted before, dont flame me, im new)

[Anonymous No.]

Me on /b/ still being a underaged faggot

[Anonymous No.]

>ne
get out

[Anonymous No.]

>ne

[BananaBees No.]

>ne

sorry sorry sorry! didnt mean to be a weeboo, it was a typo? ...okay i give up, it was on purpose. but i refuse to leave. :P

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196832
don't worry, /jp/ is full of self-loathing hypocrites. But that "ne" is dreadful

[Anonymous No.]

> its hilarious, and actually quite accurate, ne?
> im new
yeah, fuck off.

[Anonymous No.]

SAGE

[Anonymous No.]

1/10 try harder next time
With that said, >>7196832, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>7196832, should just stick with today's special.

[Anonymous No.]

"Art thou my master?"
"Dayummm girl, ain't seen many like you round Compton. That's some nice hair and shit, that a weave?"
"Zounds, thou art a Nubian! How came you from the dark continent?"
"Say what? Look atchoo, talkin' all like Shakeanbake and shit. That's coo', that's coo'. I hear that."
"This land be twixt foul and fair, who buildeth towers to peak through the blanket of clouds, yet the streets below Nubians unyolk'd runneth over."
"Aiiight, aiiight, I can tell you ain't from round here. You want me to show you round or somfin'? Me an my boys –"
"I'll away to find my master, only heeding his say shalt mine confusion repurpose."
"Aiyo, you leavin' already? Come on baby, come here ..."
"Hold! Hold! Fly from here, your bound's o'erstepped. Your eyes shall see not my keen blade afore it calls you to account."
"What is that, a sword? Aw come on baby, put it down fore you hurt choself ..."
"Fie! Away!"
"I ain't gon' do nothing you don't want me to ... let's get all this armor offa you, shorty."
"I bid you stay thine huge lips ..."
"Don't choo like this? I think you like this ..."
"Forsooth ..."
"Aww yeahhh ..."
"HARK! What pain through yonder hymen breaks?"
"Damn, you tight as hay-ell, bitch! This some tight-ass pussy!"
"OUT, DAMNED COCK; OUT, I SAY!"
"Uh! Yeah! Yeah! Ugh!"
"O, thine lance be long ..."
"Uh! Uh! Uh!
"O Nubian! Nubian!"
"YOU LIKE THIS? YOU LIKE THIS? GRAGGHHHH"
"PUMP ME FULL O' THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS"
"DAYYYYYYYYYUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

[BananaBees No.]

hey no fair, so what i say wrong things? i am new, i said ne, so what? i wont do it again, god you tards.

[Anonymous No.]

tanasinn is very important to me. I am a big advocate of the feeling and feeling. I have studied tanasinn for about 6-7 years and am a proud member of the tanasinn-nnisanat Society of tanasinnvania. During my college program semester at tanasinn World, I passed the tanasinn Company's language assessment test, and received a language pin under my tanasinn to indicate that I was responsible and could assist tanasinn guests should they have any inquiries. I study hard every day in order to gain some insight on the lananguage and culture. I have dreams to become either a tanasinn language interpreter for business conferences (the person with headphones and microphone that sits in the little glass booth and simultaneously translates what the person is saying), 今∴山●∵ﾐひど(･)tanasinnっ●∵す
(･)∵∴∵∵されく●ぁwせｄじこｌｐ；：「たり∵(･)∴●∵わ∵くぁ●wた


り
け(･)∵どtanasinn(･)∵∴∵●わヽ!∵∴∵ﾐ●ﾘﾉ!/ﾘま(･)ん、
∴人<・>女､●ぃの∵(･)∴∵(･)で●す、∵∴(･)∵∵/ﾘ●らがtanasin
nｆｔｇｙふじで●｡
でも●そ∵∴な(･)人メ●　∵∴tanasinnが定(･(･))しす
∵の名∵(･)これ●か | '`-イ∴(･)のイ●け<・>て●くメ∵(･)∵くぁ(･)wせ●ｄｒｆｔｇｙふじ


●こｌｐ；：「
でイ∵(･)●が変(･)どtanasinn∵(･)∴なこ　∵∴(･)
●の∴∵底<・>ｄi●i;|;_ﾞιｆ的∵●ぬ(･)tanasinn∵
こ∵まtanasinnばく(･)ぁw；：「い●∵∴(･)∵∵たてtanasinnし●(･)/ﾘらす
∵●∵(･)∴助●け●∵て∵(･)∵●し●∵
世∵のtanasinnの∵(･)∴れtanasinn<・>ら●を(･)tanasinnし∵∴●い∴(･)

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196885
HAHAHAHA, I love how you get your thread griefed to oblivion

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196885
>i'm new
Lurk the fuck more.

[Anonymous No.]

Kana ran out of the grocery store as fast as she could. The sliding doors of the market were now an inconvenience as they sluggishly pulled apart. Haruka sent her out an hour ago to get the ingredients for dinner, but an unexpected meeting with Fujioka set her back almost thirty minutes. The thought of Chiaki's harsh punishment only strengthened Kana'a resolve as she ran to the sidewalk. The grey, melancholy clouds in the sky turned dark like charcoal. Thinking she wouldn't need it, she left her umbrella at home. If she was still out and it began to rain, the worst possible thing could happen: she might catch a cold.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196918
Kana continued to run back home, imperssively dodging and juking around people and telephone poles while balancing the grocery bags at her side. There was no way she was going to catch another cold. At this pace, she'd be home any minute. The empty stretch of sidewalk encouraged her to run even faster. She could hardly wait to snuggle up under the kotatsu while enjoying Haruka's delicious yakitori with a steaming bowl of ramen. Just the thought of her and her sisters enjoying dinner together put a smile on her face. Her fantasy was suddenly destroyed when the wheels of a shiny, black limousine splashed a bucketful of water onto Kana, soaking her from head to toe. Wet and shivering, Kana was furious.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196921
She shook her fist and cursed at the limousine, "くそやろう！”As if it heard her profanity, the limousine screeched to a halt. Kana stood there, unsure what to do, when one of the doors at the front of the limousine opened. A tall, broad shouldered man pulled himself out of the car. He sported a shiny bald head, black sunglasses, and a black suit. His head darted left and right, as if anticpating some sort of attack. He cautiously approached Kana and told her something in a foreign language that she barely recognized as English. She was never very good at English; she had no idea what he said. The man took her groceries with one hand, and with the other hand, opened the back door of the limousine for her. Frightened and cold, she felt she had no other option, and she reluctantly stepped into the luxurious car.

Kana's wet bottom squished as she sat on the leather seat. After she settled, she finally looked up and saw the face of an older gentleman she recognized only from TV. The president of the United States of America, George W. Bush, was sitting across the limo in front of her! He sat there smiling, one leg crossed over the other, with his hands resting on his raised knee.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196885

thanks op i came on cat she hiss at penis
i fapped so hard mine dong flew out da window i here its in china now
wow op i fap so hard my dick bigger 2 inches great vid
omg i coming cats and dogs thnx for pic!!
omg op i come so hard that I shot a whole in my wall. now my mom is angry and said i had a hug cock!
i came so hard im now a woman thx op
The hurricane winds generated from how fast I was whacking it knocked down my entire south wall of my house and now car alarms all over the neigborhood are going off.
I just shat my pants in class now i cant move or it will all squelch out and the girl near me is starting to notice the smell thanks op!
i know own a small fast food chain in rhode island thx op
thx op for share her exclusive move make sister grew dick to fuck my ass with
op i slipped on my own penis im calling the police fuck you op
WOW BITCH NOZE HOW TO SUKK GUD I CUM SO HARD MY BUCKET BROKE
super hot chick thanks op I came a whole mom
oh god all i have left to cum is bone marrow aaaah god no stop it hurts m bone marrow thx op 10/10
holy penis i shat pics of spiderman
epic win OP I cam shit and shat cum
I'm watching this now with my family and my granpa is winning the cumbucket challenge thx op 10/10
I came so hard my cum created a sonic boom and now I can't hear shit thx op 10/10
your under arrest op for make this such fantastic porno movievideo, I birthed several sperm childs
thx op i came so hard my dick split open and wasps flew out and stung my mom 9/11
thx op i cut dick off and threw my dick like cum grenade 10/10
op made me cum like a small turtle call me franklin
awesome porno op I came in a poor man's suit pocket.
I RIPPED MY ARM OFF AND CAME TO STOP THE BLEEDING THX OP
omfg my dick got so hard i could fuck my own asshole!

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196923
"Heh heh heh," he chuckled. He began speaking in fluent Japanese, "It's a good thing I took those Rosetta Stone lessons." He even spoke in an authentic Osakan accent! "I'm sorry little girl," he continued, "I told my driver to stop the car as soon as I saw his careless mistake of gettin you all wet."Kana was still a little confused, but she suddenly remembered she had to be home soon. Kana bowed from her seat and shouted, "I'm sorry for troubling you Mr. President! Can you please take me home?"
Mr. Bush was shocked at the apology. He was still unaware of the customs of the Japanese. "Well, of course I can take you home little girl..."

Kana was ecstastic, and began to pump her first in the air. She couldn't wait to tell everyone at school that the president of the United States gave her a ride home in his own limousine!
A wry smirk streaked across the president's face as the car began to move.
"...So," George continued. "It must be cold in that jacket of yours. You should take it off."
He was right. Kana's clothes were soaking wet. She didn't want to catch a cold. The sleeves of her white jacket clung to her arms as she peeled it off herself, and she set the jacket down on the floor next to her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196928
Kana attempted to hide her body with her arms as she tucked herself away in the corner of the limousine.
"See, that wasn't so hard!" Bush said smiling as he threw his arms in the air.
"I'm sorry, Mr. President," Kana timidly apologized, "But are we almost to my house yet?"
"Oh yeah, we're right around the corner," he nonchalantly stated. "In America," he began on another subject, "When someone does a favor for you, you have to return the favor."
Kana shrank into the corner further."So," he continued, "I need you to do me a favor, since I'm going out of my way to take you home."

"W-what would that be," Kana stuttered.
Bush reached inside of his jacket and pulled out a Glock 17 pistol and pointed it at Kana.
"You're gonna do exactly what I tell you to, that's what," he demanded with the scowl returning to his face.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196926

"Sweet baby Jesus," George muttered as he shook his head. "You're like a wet dog on a rainy day back in Texas! You must be miserable wearing those wet clothes. You'd better take those off, too, honey."Kana thought his request was a little strange; maybe it was normal for Americans, though, she figured.
"Oh, uh... Thank you for your concern Mr. President, but I'll be fine," Kana pleaded as she wrapped her arms around her chest.

"I insist," he pushed, "My men will take care of your wet clothes. Just take off your shirt and pants. It'll be fine, I insist."Kana was beginning to feel uncomfortable. "No, no, I'm fine," she politely denied his request again.George's playful look on his face transformed to a lecherous scowl. He stared at Kana and sternly told her, "Take off your clothes."
Kana didn't want any trouble. She figured she'd be home soon, anyways. Her pink, "I AM BOSS" t-shirt stuck to her back as she forced it off, revealing her slender waist and modest breasts. George began to smile again. She unbuttoned her jeans, and George leaned forward in his seat as she rolled her pants off her firm, white legs.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196929
Kana was paralyzed with fear. She had no choice but to do what he said.
With his free hand, Bush unbuckled his belt and slid his pants down his legs.
"Get over here!" He shouted, shaking the barrel of the gun from her to the floor in front of him.
Kana, trembling with fear, crawled over to Bush where she awaited further orders.
The disgusting grin returned to his face. "Now, take off my underwear, and show me how well you Japs can suck dick."

Kana froze. All she wanted was to get back to the apartment and to have dinner with Chiaki and Haruka. Tears began streaming down her face and she began to cry.
"HURRY UP, CUNT!" Bush yelled, reminding her that her life was on the line by shoving the barrel of the gun against her temple. "SUCK IT!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196931
She had no coice. Kana pulled his red, white, and blue underwears down his legs and began playing with his semi-hard cock. She had never done anything like this before, but she cringed and put the wrinkly sausage in her mouth. She began swirling her tongue around his shaft and it began to get harder and grow."Yeah, that's it! That's how you do it!" Bush encouraged her as he began to relax against his leather seats.
Apparently Kana was doing it right, and she continued to slither her tongue around the tip of his dick while moving her mouth back and forth. She just had to keep this up for a little and she'd be able to go back home. The vile old man was showing his pleasure verbally, and after 5 more minutes of the torture, Bush grabbed her head and held it tightly against his swollen member. Kana struggled to breathe and began choking, and Bush let off.

"Heh heh heh, sorry!" he jokingly apologized, "Thought I was gonna come!"
Kana was coughing and struggling for air.
"Alright, now..." the monster began, "Take off your bra and panties. Heh heh heh."
Kana had long forgotten any dignity she might have had. She just wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. She reached behind her back and unsnapped her bra. Her small breasts jiggled as they fell out of the bra cups. As she slid her panties off, she covered her vagina with her hand and closed her legs together.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196933

"Now, now, don't be shy," Bush taunted. "Show me that tight little pussy of yours!" He waved the gun around again as motivation.
Kana stood up and slowly spread her legs and moved her hands and arms away from her body. She closed her eyes tightly and cringed.

"Yeah, yeah, that's it. Now, come over here and sit on this!"
She reluctantly moved toward the monster, and when she was within a couple feet, he took her legs one by one and made her straddle him. He put his old man hands on her hips and guided her pussy onto his wet, gleaming shaft, and slowly slid himself inside her. Kana began to cry, but he didn't care. His swollen dick forced its way into her small pussy hole, and he moaned in selfish pleasure."Ah yeah... Martha never felt this good... heh heh heh," the sinister old man laughed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196934
Ignoring Kana's screams, he held her tightly as he forced himself in and out of her small body, squeezing her breasts as she bounced. The initial shock and pain of her vagina tearing apart faded, but each thrust made Kana feel like she was going to split in two. Bush continued to shout his remarks of pleasure at her. She felt humiliated and violated, but she had to bare the pain if she wanted to get back home. Just a little longer. Suddenly, Bush grabbed her by the waist, spun her around, and threw her onto the ground. He leapt on top of her and pinned her down, holding her wrists, as he slid his dick between her firm and soft asscheeks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196935
"Heh heh heh, here comes the good part," he cackled. Using her vaginal juices as a lubricant, he forced his dick into her tight little asshole and began pounding himself into her. Kana screamed in agony, but her resistance only made him harder. Bush rammed himself into Kana's ass harder with each thrust, and he finally began to tire. His breathing slowed and so did his movements. He forced his penis out of her ass, flipped her on her back, and shot a stream of warm, sticky semen in her face and in her nose. Kana's spirit was broken; she didn't even move. She just waited for the next trial. Maybe it was finally over. She could finally go home and see Haruka and Chiaki and have ramen and yakitori. They could talk about their day at school. Maybe some of Chiaki's or Haruka's friends would come over unexpectedly. They would bring food and drinks and they could have a small little party for Kana making it home."Well shit," Bush yelled with a look of disgust across his face, "That was the most boring fuck I've had yet."

He aimed the gun at her skull, and he fired a single bullet into Kana's semen covered face. Blood jumped from the hole and splattered the inside of the limousine. Bush pulled up his pants and chuckled again, "heh heh heh..." as his secret service men dragged Kana's lifeless corpse out of the car, dragging her blood across the floor of the limousine.

[BananaBees No.]

>>7196916
hey hey hey, what do you mean?

and by the way, whats with the random post about guys fucking shakesperian girls and people going to the grocery store and 150 yen? serously, i was just sharing a good video. infact, fuck this. maybe i will be a weeboo, ne? maybe i'll be kawwaii dessuu?!?!? DESU!!! NE? BAKAKABAKA!!!! orz, sorry im just getting the hate out of my system. flame all you want, im going anonymous, fuck you all. FUCK YOU.

(why am i even bothered by this anyway? im not. im just making fun of people, im not a weeboo, i dont say ne, i said it to make fun of weeboos. didnt work, did it?)

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196937
Looks lik u just got hurt feelings and butt ranged.
Y don't you cri about it to you're boyfriend?

[Anonymous No.]

[BananaBees No.]

i didnt get my feeling hurt, it was a joke. i dont have a boyfriend, too young. those stories entertained me, the flaming was funny, im not a weeboo. it was all a bit of fun of me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196950

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196885
You confessed that you are new. /jp/ is full of angry autistic and jealous cunts that can only find a sense of elitism on this board, so they express it by telling you to get out and reporting any thread arbitrarily or directing you to >>>/a/, >>>/b/ or >>>/v/, depending which anon replies to you.

Some tips: Don't make any thread. Only attention-seeking tripcunts can make threads, or those anon who make the same thread every few days about music or a video game, or a MMO.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196950

[Anonymous No.]

Never make a Touhou dump thread - everyone on /jp/ should have all the pictures of every Touhou and the thread will be saged and ignored.

Always post in a Touhou dump thread and NEVER point out the above rule of everyone should have the pictures, you will be ignored or reported or directed to >>>/a/, >>>/b/ or >>>/v/.

Also, NEVER use emoticons, except for ;_; but you may use the Japanese cute ones, but don't use ;P or :3 or you are redirected to >>>/a/ or >>>/v/.

[Anonymous No.]

/jp/ is not about Japan, since most of it's userbase are retarded 'murrikkkans who like to spell Korea as Corea, to be edgy and disrespectful. However, any thread about Japan, or nuclear explosions or Japanese news will be replied to and get a lot of replies.

Finally, QUALITY THREAD, means that some faggot thinks that the thread is not worth discussing, and is generally followed by tripcunts (unless they take their trip off), but really you can discuss anything in this board, like /b/ except should ideally be Otaku-related. Don't be worried about bumping your own thread, those sage warriors can't do anything about it.

Remember: NSFW isn't allowed here, so use spoilers and only in dump threads.

Good luck, anon. Reach for the stars~

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196950
Sorry to make youre ass angry enough to bother reply.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196971
Some Koreans actually believe that Japan pushed the K spelling during the war so that Japan would be first alphabetically and want to go back to the C spelling. Both K and C were used by diplomats. For whatever reason the K spelling was used more and more until the C was more or less forgotten.

[Anonymous No.]

>36 replies, 6 sages
6 sages, seriously ?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7196971
People like you are destroying the board.