/jp/'s Original Content/Drawthread #42

File: 1.35 MB, 1000x1000, notasinglefuckwasgiven.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

/jp/'s Original Content/Drawthread #42 Anonymous Wed Mar 30 00:06:00 2011 No.7161342 [Reply] [Original]

It's been a while but here it is.

General original content/drawthread for /jp/ anons. You may use this thread to contribute your works or to share ideas related to possible projects. Anything OC is welcomed, including drawings, writings, music, and programming.

Picture related; it was previous thread's request:
>>How about Rin?

>>	Anonymous of Croatia !na1byG1GU. Wed Mar 30 00:09:07 2011 No.7161352 >>7161342 I liked it better when she has penises where the ugly ass mouths are.

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Wed Mar 30 00:10:00 2011 No.7161354 This is what Orin actually looks like. Done Okuu yet? No? Do her.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 00:11:00 2011 No.7161361 >>7161342 question about that image there's nothing right with it why is that?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 00:15:00 2011 No.7161375 Ｒｅｑｕｅｓｔｉｎｇ　ａ　ｄｒａｗｆａｇ　ｔｏ　ｄｏ　ｔｈｅ　ＳＤＭ　ｃｏｍｅｔ　ｅｘｐｌｏｄｉｎｇ　ｄｕｅ　ｔｏ　ｎｕｔｂｌａｄｄｅｒ　ｏｖｅｒｌｏａｄ　ｗｈｅｎ　Ｆｌａｎｄｒｅ　ｗｅｎｔ　きゅ～Ｐｒｅｆｅｒｒａｂｌｙ　ｉｎ　４ｋｏｍａ　ｆｏｒｍａｔ

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 00:15:33 2011 No.7161372 >>7161361 Without wrong, there is no right.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 00:16:00 2011 No.7161378 >>7161372 okay then

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 00:16:00 2011 No.7161380 >>7161361 Because not a single fuck was given about being right. I just draw a girl, slap some random hair, added Orin's ponytails and ears, and decided to add mouths. >>7161354 Why not? That'll be next on my list.

>>	Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 Wed Mar 30 00:18:00 2011 No.7161383 >>7161380 YES. Be as grotesque as you can possibly be. Shouldn't be a difficult order.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 00:22:00 2011 No.7161398 >>7161342 Vagina dentata I understand, but mammary dentata? Yikes.

Anonymous Wed Mar 30 00:27:21 2011 No.7161418
File: 313 KB, 960x1200, Thelaw.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>You are now the Law. Which of the following groups would you wipe off of /jp/?

[x] That group of attention whores and DeviantArt migrants that tries to justify its presence as '/jp/ Original Content XD' despite never actually listening to the community's ideas

Fuck off faggots. If you're not going to deliver, then you need to get back to /ic/

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 01:13:00 2011 No.7161595 Previous thread >>7060851

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 01:26:00 2011 No.7161623 File: 115 KB, 700x376, iscrib_readinglibrarian.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Have a badly written script: pastebin/XBHyKE94 and a drawing to make up for it.

>>	VDZ !!TsSHNYMDNyC Wed Mar 30 02:19:00 2011 No.7161740 Some music I made while there was no OC thread: Square: http://tindeck.com/listen/ilwp Triangle: http://tindeck.com/listen/vwsq

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 03:37:00 2011 No.7161932 >>7161418 >waaah, nobody is listening to my dumb boring requests.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 03:53:00 2011 No.7161956 >>7161418 If that's your gripe, you should go over to /a/. The ratio of requests to deliveries has to be 1/100 in their drawthreads. I think /jp/'s drawfriends are fairly good when it comes to fulfilling requests.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 04:23:00 2011 No.7162009 >>7161623 The link doesn't seem to work, can you provide a new one? I'd love to read a script by a follow /jp/er, as a mediocre writer myself.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 05:05:00 2011 No.7162089 >>7162009 It won't let me post a full link, just add .com between pastebin and / It's a browser (greasemonkey) script not a story. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Care to share any of your work, writer anon?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 15:31:00 2011 No.7163577 Bump.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 15:41:00 2011 No.7163610 >>7161740 Good job there

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 15:47:00 2011 No.7163628 Who the HELL cares? Go find somewhere else to viral market your shit.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 15:48:00 2011 No.7163631 >>7163628 Forgot your trip, QC.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 15:52:00 2011 No.7163649 >>7163631 Forgot yours wtH.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 15:52:00 2011 No.7163651 >>7161342 OR here. I'm pleasantly surprised how it turned out. Clearly not what I expected it to be, but still in a good way!

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 17:25:00 2011 No.7164000 bump for more OC

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 17:32:00 2011 No.7164015 /r/ing Amakasu Barley Tenji doing... anything, really. The world needs more fanart of him.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 18:22:00 2011 No.7164165 >>7164015 >Amakasu Barley Tenji Reference art: http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Amakasu_Barley_Tenji

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 18:25:00 2011 No.7164178 Reported for off-topic. Take it to /ic/ please.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 18:38:00 2011 No.7164207 >>7164178 Why would you go to /ic/ to draw animu arts?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 30 18:39:00 2011 No.7164213 >Old things get replaced and new ones enter, it is the way of the world.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 31 01:03:00 2011 No.7165617 >>7164207 Doesn't a good protion of /ic/ dislike animu?

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 31 04:54:00 2011 No.7165987 Still trying. Bump.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 31 11:15:37 2011 No.7166586 File: 200 KB, 1848x792, good girls.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Like always, nothing ever gets finished.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 31 11:20:00 2011 No.7166603 File: 240 KB, 2100x900, good girls.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Like always, nothing ever gets finished.

Anonymous Thu Mar 31 17:17:00 2011 No.7167642

How do people react to OELVN's around here?

I was thinking of doing a small VN, a slice of life about an otaku who lives in his room all day and does nothing. There will be no sprites or other characters to interact with and only one environment to explore.

I'd do all the backgrounds in fluffy pastel colors and then write like maybe 5-10k words.

Anonymous Thu Mar 31 18:08:00 2011 No.7167818
File: 316 KB, 800x600, ss02.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>7167642
It depends, mostly on quality. If you make shallow self-insert how-I-broke-up-with-my-girlfriend-with-names-changed story #542375348, you will be kindly asked to leave immediately.

Fill in the following checklist:
[ ] I think the OELVNs on LSF are complete and utter shit
[ ] I have read at least 10 non-OELVN visual novels in full
[ ] My story is not based on an event in my life
[ ] My story is not set in Japan for no apparent reason and does not use use Japanese honorifics
[ ] I am not new to /jp/ or visual novels
[ ] I strive to make something better than the garbage that makes up 98% of OELVNs

If one or more of the above fields remain unchecked, refrain from releasing your work on /jp/ until they are all checked. If you didn't have all fields checked when you wrote the story, check over the story one more time to see if you think it's good enough to release on /jp/.

If you can check all the fields and still think your VN isn't shit, your VN will be a welcome contribution to /jp/.

Picture related, it's an OELVN that doesn't suck.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 09:28:00 2011 No.7170408 File: 543 KB, 1360x1850, barleytender_headspin.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7164015

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 12:24:00 2011 No.7170805 >>7170408 oh wow, that's pretty awesome

NeverEverRemember !!dB9NzwcyQRy Fri Apr 1 16:29:00 2011 No.7170882
File: 199 KB, 800x600, Gift of the Magi.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Some semi-original content:
http://www.mediafire.com/?t5x6ve68phxqx2d

It's O. Henry's short story 'The Gift of the Magi' in visual novel form. None of the text has been rewritten or altered in any way, so it's exactly as written by the original author, but as a visual novel.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 16:38:00 2011 No.7170909 >>7170882 Hey, it's my favourite story...

Anonymous Fri Apr 1 21:09:17 2011 No.7172189 [DELETED]

MOETRON the Visual Novel.

Our team is currently made up of a small but dedicated team of people who are dedicated to creating a Visual Novel dedicated to the eponymous Moetron, as seen in images below. Most of the script is already complete but feel free to help us (or just hang out) however you want. Artists, colorists, programmers, composers and musicians all have a part to play. We also have a secondary animation studio that is just as welcoming to artists of all sorts.

We are already well under progress and we intend to release a novel-length story with the usual visual novel trappings. Sprites, music, story and even a full-on animated opening sequence, we are going for the whole whiz-bang, aiming to make a polished product with the same quality you would find in another, more commercial piece of work. The final product will be free and under an open-license.

More information at our website

www(dot)moetron-vn(dot)tk

Anonymous Fri Apr 1 21:12:20 2011 No.7172200 [DELETED]

File: 362 KB, 803x790, 1272454991768.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

MOETRON the Visual Novel.

Our team is currently made up of a small but dedicated team of people who are dedicated to creating a Visual Novel dedicated to the eponymous Moetron, pic related. Most of us are 4channers, some of us have heavy roots in /jp/

Most of the script is already complete but feel free to help us (or just hang out) however you want. Artists, colorists, programmers, composers and musicians all have a part to play. We also have a secondary animation studio that is just as welcoming to artists of all sorts.

We are already well under progress and we intend to release a novel-length story with the usual visual novel trappings. Sprites, music, story and even a full-on animated opening sequence, we are going for the whole whiz-bang, aiming to make a polished product with the same quality you would find in another, more commercial piece of work. The final product will be free and under an open-license.

More information at our website

www(dot)moetron-vn(dot)tk

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 21:30:00 2011 No.7172298 File: 180 KB, 640x1216, chen.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Chen.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 21:38:00 2011 No.7172341 I personally think many of you people are rather eloquent. Were you just born with inherent talent, or did you gain it through practice? I'd like to gather some input in the hopes of it helping me become a better writer.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 21:46:54 2011 No.7172393 >>7172341 There's such a thing as talent, that's bullshit made up by losers. Your childhood experiences may affect your artistic abilities later on to an extent though.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 21:53:00 2011 No.7172433 >>7172341 There's no such a thing as talent, that's bullshit made up by losers. Your childhood experiences may affect your artistic abilities later on to an extent though. reposted because typo

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 22:16:00 2011 No.7172568 >>7172433 Are you a fool? Of course there's such a thing as talent; some people are born better than others. In fact, it seems saying talent doesn't exist is "bullshit made up by losers."

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 23:20:00 2011 No.7172978 File: 510 KB, 1000x1082, glasseswhitedresss.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 23:24:00 2011 No.7172983 >>7172568 Are you sad because you can't do something you wish you could ?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 23:25:00 2011 No.7172986 What program(s) does /jp/ use to draw with?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 23:29:00 2011 No.7173006 >>7172983 I wonder, what part of my post made you reach such a conclusion?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 23:30:00 2011 No.7173010 >>7173006 I dunno. You seem frustrated.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 1 23:34:00 2011 No.7173029 >>7173010 I apologize for coming off that way. I am in actuality as calm as the smooth surface of a pristine lake. We are all friends here on /jp/.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 2 10:54:00 2011 No.7174859 >>7173029 >We are all autistics here on /jp/. ftfy

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 2 16:02:00 2011 No.7176071 >>7172978 >>7172298 Adorable! Cant wait to see the finished Chen.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 2 18:33:00 2011 No.7176741 A symphonic metal Capitol City of Flowers In The Sky, brought to you by the two dudes that did that one rock native faith arrange that one time. Just go with it. http://www.4shared.com/audio/TQZxlYLA/Flowers.html

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 2 18:39:00 2011 No.7176767 >>7176741 That bass player must be extremely talented and handsome

Anonymous Sat Apr 2 22:31:00 2011 No.7177723

From another thread:
>Moogy seems to be phaggot enough to complain about 1 mistranslated word pretty much anywhere he sees it. Of course Ixrec is phaggot enough just because. It's pretty clear that they want to bang each other though.

>Rule 34 on that!

Let the Moogy x Ixrec fanart commence.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 2 23:00:00 2011 No.7177871 File: 51 KB, 1014x666, lol.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] By request. "A-anonymous-san, what are you doing here!?" "I'm s-sorry I am not very pretty to look at..." Hurr durr drawfag thread to the top.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 2 23:03:00 2011 No.7177896 File: 29 KB, 477x673, Beatrice.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Here's one of my characters, Beatrice. I only have MS Paint, so sorry for it being pixel.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 2 23:06:00 2011 No.7177907 >>7177896 Needs a weapon, then we can drop here in a Guilty Gear clone.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 3 09:01:00 2011 No.7179797 Bump.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 3 09:34:00 2011 No.7179901 >>7172200 this is fake right?

>>	VDZ !!TsSHNYMDNyC Sun Apr 3 10:02:00 2011 No.7180004 File: 21 KB, 330x330, Temple_square.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] More music OC: http://tindeck.com/listen/vsmo

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 3 10:30:00 2011 No.7180112 File: 87 KB, 500x768, yuuka.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Hi OC thread. Still trying to get used to my tablet and learning proportions, but here's something I made last month. Unfinished, yeah. Any things/tips so I can get better?

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 3 11:03:00 2011 No.7180225 >>7180112 Learn to draw in general.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 3 11:30:00 2011 No.7180291 >>7180004 That choir VST doesnt sound too authentic, but other than that, the rest of the song is surprisingly cool. Good job amigo.

CaptainX !SrfnEhVEk. Sun Apr 3 15:53:00 2011 No.7181256

I guess Motron goes better here so....

"Motron's creation" have her standing unsteady by an operating table with Fran (Franken Fran) raving next to her with Veronica and the others watching nearby.

Bonus for a pile of left over parts.

Somebody should have fun with that....

Anonymous Sun Apr 3 18:46:00 2011 No.7181959

Trying to build up my contact list of /jp/ musicfriends some more for future projects. Especially looking for vocalists and keyboard/synth players!

Send me an email or reply with your email address if you're available for collaboration. I'm very nice, I swear.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 3 18:53:00 2011 No.7182000 File: 265 KB, 604x547, flan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I'm not done yet, but I think I was bad at coloring anyone have any tips?

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 3 19:39:00 2011 No.7182270 >>7182000 I've always enjoyed soft colouring, which looks like something you're doing. Just keep in mind where the light sources are coming from. I find that helps me a bit. Also, Flandre's right hand looks like a left hand. Was this on purpose?

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 3 19:52:00 2011 No.7182317 >>7182270 not really thanks for the advices, I'll watch this and try get better

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 00:32:00 2011 No.7183255 >>7182000 Tweak both hands. Fingers look off.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 00:34:00 2011 No.7183265 >>7183255 At really, I don't know how to draw hands I'm really bad at this. I'm trying to improve.. I'll draw it again

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 06:35:00 2011 No.7184427 File: 653 KB, 830x1074, bigfatlolitats003.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Boob shading practice?

>>	Necrobrotent Mon Apr 4 06:39:00 2011 No.7184434 >>7184427 I enjoy your style I hope you get over your oppai loli phase.

Anonymous Mon Apr 4 06:43:00 2011 No.7184441
File: 970 KB, 728x638, lines test resize.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

i've not been drawing for a couple of years, and am thinking of moving straight onto cg from my past experiences on pencil and paper.

need halp on line arts. or is it better to render from this and fuck line art?

tutorials and guides are very, very welcome.

Anonymous Mon Apr 4 06:47:00 2011 No.7184452

>>7184427
Bravo. You seem to be good at drawing characters. If I had to criticize something as a non-artist it'd be the environment, specifically that the general perspective between the various objects doesn't seem to quite align.

>>7184434
It's a way of life, not a phase.

>>	Necrobrotent Mon Apr 4 07:00:00 2011 No.7184481 >>7184452 Then I will continue to pray for your moment of weakness.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 07:08:00 2011 No.7184497 >>7184481 >>7184434 He does draw other stuff too.

Anonymous Mon Apr 4 07:16:00 2011 No.7184507
File: 98 KB, 801x607, hinabeach002.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>7184434
Thanks, but I don't think I'll ever get over lolis with big boobs. It's sustenance for me. （´；ω；｀）ｳｯ
I like all body types, really...

>>7184452
I'm definitely bad at BG. I usually don't even put anything there, and when I do, it just looks tacked on. I'll work on it though.

Anonymous Mon Apr 4 07:28:00 2011 No.7184528
File: 171 KB, 750x1000, 9ac61452d4cf1edf72cc77d4e5d289f1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm currently working on a _trance_ remix of YumeKui's ED.
http://soundcloud.com/helianxhelian/helianxhelian-dreamencounter
This version is old though, I've it almost finished.

Anonymous Mon Apr 4 07:33:00 2011 No.7184542

>>7184507
I was wondering who it was, but now that I think about it again, perhaps it's just the busty lolis but your style reminds me of Nekomamire(or that's who I think it reminds me of), although lately he has started getting a little extreme in various ways(chubbiness, age, general content).

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 07:52:00 2011 No.7184574 >>7184542 That particular loli is one Nekomamire created, yeah. I just like her so much I wanted to do some fanart.

>>	anonymous Mon Apr 4 08:13:00 2011 No.7184609 >>7161342 Uuuuh... Why'd you have to put that OP.... What is the catch with the picture anyway...?

>>	Pedonymous !!Y6th7F6WAoC Mon Apr 4 08:26:22 2011 No.7184624 >>7184574 Heh, I love that guy, but yeah, some of his stuff has been getting a little "out-there". I still like it though.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 14:01:00 2011 No.7185362 File: 39 KB, 200x353, 42.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] http://soundcloud.com/tiistai/araa Dicking around with DS-10. Turned out a bit better than I thought it would.

Anonymous Mon Apr 4 14:20:00 2011 No.7185409

please help me /jp/... i just realized one of my characters acts like she's having aspergers. should i make her more normal, or actually make her an aspie? (trying to make her a realistic deciption of the disorder etc.)
if you were reading a mango/vn, would you enjoy an aspergers character or would you prefer someone more normal and not socially retarded?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 14:24:00 2011 No.7185422 >>7185409 Depends if you mean a character who acts like she has aspergers, or a character who acts like she has what 4chan thinks aspergers means.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 14:29:00 2011 No.7185433 >>7185422 real aspergers

Anonymous Mon Apr 4 14:32:00 2011 No.7185435

>>7185409
You should just stick with her personality and let the people who read/play/whatevertheverbisfortheworkyouremaking decide whether or not she has Asperger's.
Asperger's is only a label psychologists give to people who fit certain requirements anyways, and people with Asperger's have widely varying personalities.
Don't use a stereotype as a basis, just let the personality evolve naturally and let people label it for themselves if they feel the need to do so.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 14:32:00 2011 No.7185436 >>7185433 Go for it then, it's something that hasn't been done much. As long as you have confidence in your ability to show that the other characters are normal and that she is different then it should work out ok.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 14:36:00 2011 No.7185447 >>7185436 Me again, I half agree with >>7185435 Write your character, but don't let aspergers syndrome become her entire personality. Stereotypes are often based on facts, but the facts that they are based on are just trends, not absolute.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 14:52:00 2011 No.7185541 >>7185362 Hey, this is really nice. 1:15 to 1:21 or so is especially cool VC: curob enzyme

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 17:06:00 2011 No.7185899 File: 215 KB, 772x900, pig disgusting.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Anatomy/coloring practice by drawing a nude 3d pig by reference. Warmy waiting for a ban due to nsfw content.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 17:16:00 2011 No.7185922 >>7185899 She looks pretty unhealthy.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 17:36:00 2011 No.7185976 >>7184528 Sounds pretty good, but I'd bring the voice more the forefront for most of the piece - and maybe have the washed out/reverby parts for the chorus only.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 18:47:00 2011 No.7186257 >>7185976 Yeah I agree, the one on soundcloud is a older version though, I have the vocal's fixed. But the reverb is kind of tricky. Since I do want to keep it noticeable to create a dreamy effect to go with the anime.

"iluvOP !ge9bznqAsg Mon Apr 4 20:24:00 2011 No.7186514
File: 567 KB, 553x616, 1281009042757.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

http://soundcloud.com/iluvop/maiden-in-black

Any opinions on this one would be greatly appreciated. It's an old version where some volume sort of...rose at some point after extraction so dont mind the slight annoyance towards the end. Anygays it's the sort of "grind" song where you just grind the same "melody".

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 21:47:00 2011 No.7186921 File: 119 KB, 640x480, doitfags.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Rule 34 on Dandy Girl. Do it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 4 22:35:00 2011 No.7187089 >>7182000 if nobody else pointed it out, she has two left hands!

>>	mugenjohncel !!lsNOT2DQXWT Tue Apr 5 02:35:38 2011 No.7187806 >>7186921 OK...

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 02:39:00 2011 No.7187828 >>7187806 Stop right there criminal scum

>>	mugenjohncel !!lsNOT2DQXWT Tue Apr 5 02:48:38 2011 No.7187857 >>7187828 Not this time Señor... you stopped me once... this time... I SHALL DELIVER!...

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 02:57:00 2011 No.7187880 >>7185899 You should have made her into a Touhou at least.

>>	mugenjohncel !!lsNOT2DQXWT Tue Apr 5 03:15:38 2011 No.7187932 File: 127 KB, 462x744, dlg_ecchi.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7187857 Dandelion Girl Lineart done...

>>	Arc Wrath Tue Apr 5 03:32:00 2011 No.7187984 File: 19 KB, 500x336, house-do-want.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7170408 Inverted color on the image, is not my backround.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 04:28:00 2011 No.7188148

>>7167818
the only thing i disagree with that you're saying is, excluding relationships(for the majority of people), that stories shouldn't be written based on real life experince. although if you're directing that at /jp/ specifically, i'd say i agree with that too.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 08:59:00 2011 No.7188734

>>7188148
Another anon in another thread explained it better than I can:
>It's called preemptive defense, since most "amateur developers" just use their projects to blog about their shitty life like it's some kind of unique experience.
I'm talking about those stupid LSF OELVNs where they take a completely boring event from their life and pretend it's interesting. Because nine out of ten times, your life is not interesting at all.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 14:59:00 2011 No.7189678

This thread is a clear example of why ELVNs tend to suck. No one knows what they're talking about when it comes to writing. There are no hard rules when it comes to writing stories, just what works and what works better. Write what you know, know what you write. If you don't know what you're talking about you're just talking out of your ass and that unrealism in a story will deter readers. Don't try to be "different", try to be good. "What" a story about is all nice and good, but execution is everything, stories aren't made with one good idea or premise, but they're driven by many, many creative thoughts, people who don't realize this tend to underestimate writing and think that a good premise is half the story.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 17:53:00 2011 No.7190234 >>7189678 >This thread is a clear example of why ELVNs tend to suck. No one knows what they're talking about when it comes to writing. Agreed. Well, generally.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 17:58:00 2011 No.7190243

>>7188734
that's more or less what i meant by the second sentence.

>>7189678
i think whoever you were responding to was just giving advice which is tailored to the likely writing capability and/or decisions of certain people who may not have good capability or judgement. the guy seemed like he wanted to know what /jp/ wanted in the first place, which is what the immediate response was about. those two factors probably contributed to the restrictive-seeming advice rather than an overall lack of understanding of the writing process.

Anonymous Tue Apr 5 18:06:00 2011 No.7190271
File: 366 KB, 1280x3600, writing.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>7189678
>There are no hard rules when it comes to writing stories, just what works and what works better.
That is entirely correct. But to figure out what works, you need to have read things in the medium you're writing for, so you can get an idea of what works and what doesn't. Just starting to write without ever reading any VNs will get you LSF-like results.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 5 19:24:00 2011 No.7190536 >>7187089 poster here, I knew it I'll fix..

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 6 05:16:00 2011 No.7192661 File: 86 KB, 325x444, 110406.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 6 06:47:00 2011 No.7192832 Bump.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 6 09:12:00 2011 No.7193005 >>7172200 Just finished checking out the site, that looks pretty cool, thought I'm still a bit skeptical due to how ambitious it sounds. Either way, good luck to you guys. Hopefully we can finally have a full-lenght game made by 4chan members.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 6 17:11:00 2011 No.7194636 up

Anonymous Wed Apr 6 22:33:00 2011 No.7195594

I'm writing a series of 4koma about a poor girl and her family who work for another family and their daughter of the same age. It starts off with the rich bitch taunting and bossing around the little servant girl, but eventually her family goes bankrupt and the situation switches completely. It's called "Meme and Nene" for now--can't think of a better title.

Heavy girl-love vibes in it, too. It ends up straight yuri/girl-love in the end.

One of the first 4koma scripts, if anyone's interested in illustrating it:

“Be Brave, Meme!”

Panel I:

[A father is introducing a little girl to another father and a little girl. They both have plain clothes like farmers, whereas one girl is wearing a plain sundress with frills and the other a used hand-me-down sort of dress. The two girls stare at one another curiously, big-eyed.]

Today Papa introduced me to a nice man and his daughter named... what was it, again? I remember she was wearing a really fancy-looking dress.

Panel II:

[The two girls are talking to one another, the parents' legs the only thing visible due to how short they are and the angle of the panel. The frillier-looking girl isn't holding her father's hand, while the dingier-looking one is desperately holding onto her dad's.]

Papa: “This girl is Mr. Wendel's daughter. Get along with her okay? Be nice to one another.”

Meme: “....”

Nene: “....”

Panel III:

Meme: (Blushing bashfully) “M-my name is... Meme.... What's your name....?It's n-nice to meet you...!” ('Be brave, Meme!')

Nene: “....”

Panel IV:

Meme: “E-er, are you going to tell me your... erm, name....?” ('She's scary-looking....')

Nene: (Sneering) Why would I do that for you, commoner?

(Tiny arrow is shown stabbing into Meme's head labelled 'Commoner.' Cue exaggerated tears/frowning.)

>>	Ganon 5200 1701 9514 Wed Apr 6 22:37:49 2011 No.7195608 do you accept strange request?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 6 22:53:00 2011 No.7195644 >>7195594 Just do it at once instead of telling us what you are going to do.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 6 22:57:00 2011 No.7195658 >>7195594 I actually kind of like this. Someone, draw this.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 6 23:30:00 2011 No.7195773 you guys take weird request?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 6 23:33:00 2011 No.7195790 >>7195773 What's your request?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 6 23:40:00 2011 No.7195812 >>7195790 nothing much Ganondorf holding Sakuya in his arms as if they were a couple sorta thing

Anonymous Wed Apr 6 23:57:00 2011 No.7195863

>>7195594
Protip: Draw a mockup of your 4Koma before making a request like this, even if its just with stick figures, professional comic writers can and do the very same to:
1. Make sure they can communicate the idea to the arist properly
2. Check the word placement
If you can't even be assed to do this much you should get the fuck out of /jp/.

And trying to give a 4koma an ending right off the bat is setting yourself up for failure.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 00:27:00 2011 No.7195930 >>7195594 Nah you dont need to make a mock up. I got this.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 01:46:00 2011 No.7196103 a derped chicken

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 10:43:00 2011 No.7197285 >>7195863 Calm down faggot, it's 4Koma, not a work of art.

Anonymous Thu Apr 7 11:00:00 2011 No.7197304

Alright, here's a tough one, OCfags.
You know the Opening video from Little Busters, right? Of course you do.

Parody it. Do something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ74uPvue3U

It might include anything instead, American presidents, actors, /jp/ material, /v/ material, /whatever/ material, you decide.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 13:24:00 2011 No.7197724 >>7195594 This sounds nice, I'll look forward to it

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 14:48:00 2011 No.7198144 >>7195594 >Meme >Nene HNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 16:21:00 2011 No.7198514 File: 78 KB, 600x1753, 110408-koma.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7195594 2 minutes in paint

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 16:46:00 2011 No.7198598 >>7198514 M-my heart!

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 16:52:00 2011 No.7198630 >>7198514 That's really nice.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 17:36:00 2011 No.7198801 >>7198514 Adorable, but you forgot “E-er, are you going to tell me your... erm, name....?”. Nene's line there doesn't really make a lick of sense without it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 17:39:00 2011 No.7198810 >>7198801 Alternatively, you could simply remove Meme's "What's your n-name?" and add "Could you tell me your n-name?" or something as her last line.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 17:41:00 2011 No.7198813 >>7198514 >What's your name? >Why would I do that for you? Yeah, no.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 22:37:00 2011 No.7200057 >>7198514 Dem twintails.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 22:56:00 2011 No.7200106 >>7198514 It's too bad it's so choppy and messy-looking. This has potential.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 23:03:00 2011 No.7200126 Taking request because I'm bored. Rules: - Touhou related - No more than 2 characters - SFW Don't expect something amazing, though. My drawing skill is pretty shitty.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 23:05:00 2011 No.7200133 chen feeding reimu a spoonful of soup

>>	Thu Apr 7 23:10:00 2011 No.7200149 >>7200126 utsuho in a pyro gx

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 23:13:00 2011 No.7200157 >>7200126 i vote for >>7195812

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 7 23:36:14 2011 No.7200197 >>7200126 reimu holding a bong with "Highkurei Shrine" in letters over it this is very important

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 8 00:14:00 2011 No.7200282 >>7200133 I'm doing this. Should be over in few minutes. Please wait warmly.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 8 02:49:00 2011 No.7200630 File: 146 KB, 970x1130, chen_spoonfeeding_reimu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7200133 Sorry for being late. Something unexpected happened. Anyway, here's your order.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 8 02:52:00 2011 No.7200633 >>7200630 Not the guy that requested it but it looks nice.

Anonymous Fri Apr 8 06:31:00 2011 No.7201085

>>7195594
It's not a bad idea. God knows there are probably hundreds of 4koma with a less interesting premise in the actual manga industry.

Also, I feel that the expression of the rich girl's pride is a little backwards. Unless you have some reasoning behind it, I'd comment that prideful characters(especially the rich type) are usually eager to let other people know about them, but they're indifferent when it comes to learning/thinking about other people.

Don't take that as a criticism(you could probably find a way to use the pattern you've written just as well), but rather a comment on the archetype you seem to be trying to portray. I find discussing modern character archetypes interesting.

>>7198514
I really like this. The style you're using looks well suited to 4koma.

>>7200106
Isn't that just because it's a sketch? I can't really find anything wrong with it at all within the context of the style he's using.

>>	Adolf Hitler Loves !RUMIAxIXcU Fri Apr 8 06:37:00 2011 No.7201095 >>7200630 Whoa, that's pretty good.

Anonymous Fri Apr 8 06:52:42 2011 No.7201115 [DELETED]

>>7200630
i hate to be negative as it's far from bad for all i can tell, but it seems like there is something off about this piece.

i can't quite put my finger on what it is, though. i'm not sure if it's perspective, the relative 3d orientation of some objects, a feeling of inconsistency with the gravity, or what. maybe it's just me, but it feels like something fundamental is wrong/inconsistent or missing.

Anonymous Fri Apr 8 06:54:00 2011 No.7201116

>>7200630
i hate to be negative as it's far from bad for all i can tell, but it seems like there is something off about this piece.

i can't quite put my finger on what it is, though. i'm not sure if it's perspective, the relative 3d orientation of some objects, a feeling of inconsistency with the gravity, or what. maybe it's just me, but it feels like something fundamental is wrong/inconsistent or missing. but i feel like that one thing is the only problem as well, and i can't put my finger on it, so good job.

Anonymous Fri Apr 8 07:24:00 2011 No.7201150

>>7201116

From what I can see, potential problems are:
Reimu's torso seems a bit flat (not in the intended way) and Chen's arm is also a bit odd.
Perhaps Reimu's posture is also a bit too stiff.

And also Reimu's head seems to be a significantly bigger than Chen's and that makes it look kind of odd as well.

Anonymous Fri Apr 8 07:25:00 2011 No.7201151

>>7201116
The lack of shadows makes the picture look flat. Reimu looks like she's leaning right and her bangs look just plain off. Chen's arm is too short and head not wide enough, not to mention awkwardly positioned (it's turned left) and the way she's holding the spoon is unnatural.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining for the sake of complaning, I believe it's important to know just what you're doing wrong to be able realize it and fix it. What this artist needs is to practice positions, anatomy is not only about knowing where each body part goes.

Always good: http://www.posemaniacs.com/pose/thirtysecond.html

Anonymous Fri Apr 8 08:07:00 2011 No.7201233

>>7201116
>>7201150
>>7201151
Wow, never thought I'd get decent critiques here. Whenever I post my pictures on dA, the comments consist only of one-liner praises, or worse, emoticons.

Anyway, what you guys said confirmed my belief that my biggest problem is sense of depth, which my pictures always seemed to lack. I'll be sure to keep that in mind.
Thanks for taking your time to criticize my picture.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 8 08:26:00 2011 No.7201274 >>7201233 >never thought I'd get decent critiques here Where else would you get it

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 8 08:30:00 2011 No.7201281 >>7201274 Somewhere where the main userbase is a well-balanced combination of useful and caring.

Anonymous Fri Apr 8 09:12:00 2011 No.7201351

>>7201274
the typical 4chan reply is "it's shit gtfo." only every once in awhile does anyone actually have a complaint with substance, most of it is just malicious taste disagreement with no logic.

>>7201233
i wasn't quite sure whether or not to speak frankly, but it seems you're capable of taking things well.

>>7201150
>>7201151
i don't really consider the proportions to be the problem. to be honest i had a few specific criticisms but i decided to keep them to myself to test the water. i also don't consider shadows to be the problem i'm sensing, because i don't get the feeling with >>7198514, which uses almost no shadow work(correct me if i'm wrong) and i don't feel it's just because of the difference in level of detail in the style.

i'm no artist, but this is what i felt contributed to my sense of things being off:

reimu's hair tussels. the left bang(our perspective) looks like it's tilted sideways. regardless of the way reimu is tilted, the bang should probably be pointing straight down to follow gravity(unless there is evidence of movement, which there isn't). it also looks like it would be touching her shoulder and thus bent in 3d, but instead it looks flat. as another example of gravity being missing, if you're intending for reimu's body to be tilted, her clothes should look like they are taking gravity into account against the tilt of her body(such as the side of her shirt, the chest ribbon, etc.), or curving against her body if they are being supported by her body against gravity.

Anonymous Fri Apr 8 09:13:00 2011 No.7201353

cont.

also, it seems parts of their hair look a little flat because of the curvature of the lines relative to other parts of the hair; reimu's foremost bang looks like it's bulging out sideways and hanging straight down rather than bending across her forehead. chen's front hair and ears also do not seem to quite line up with the angle she is facing; for example, given the perspective/angle of the picture, it doesn't seem like you should be able to see her forehead, and it seems odd that you can see the side of chen's ear, but not the side of reimu's hair ribbon. also, the perspective on the hair ribbons doesn't quite match up with y-axis tilt of reimu's body.

finally, chen's shoulders seem tilted even though her body doesn't seem tilted(or her head/neck don't seem to compensate for the tilt even though her head looks upright). or maybe it's because that even though the shoulders look tilted down towards the right(our perspective), chen's right ear is at a higher position than her left ear. i'm not sure if the shoulder tilt was intended as a way of tilting chen's position relative to reimu, but they look like they're either tilting neutral+negative Z or away from reimu(and neg Z).

it looks a little like you tried to draw the scene at an angle where chen's face would not normally be seen and then tried to make it so chen's face was shown.

that's about all i can see. i would say your judgment that you need to work on depth is accurate, but would further specify it to the position and rotation of objects relative to the perspective/depth of the picture as well as other parts of the object(both need to be consistent with each other). i would also probably add implementation of gravity relative to said perspective/depth of the picture.

sorry for the messy stream of consciousness explanation. please take it with little weight, this is just my best attempt at explaining certain points i find contribute to a sense of oddness/inconsistency.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 8 09:49:00 2011 No.7201426 >>7201085 >Isn't that just because it's a sketch? True. In that case, someone needs to go clean it up/edit the text in Photoshop or GIMP or something. I guess there's not really anything wrong with it STYLISTICALLY.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 8 10:47:00 2011 No.7201506 File: 3 KB, 316x124, untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Instead of working on my game engine I decided to draw some sprites. Criticisms/gb2programming; all welcome.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 8 11:55:00 2011 No.7201635 >>7201506 Are you a member of Touhou Moon devs?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 8 20:21:00 2011 No.7203322 Bump.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 9 02:29:00 2011 No.7204597 nope

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 9 03:40:00 2011 No.7204777 This thread is fucking slow. Someone draw something, damnit!

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 9 03:55:00 2011 No.7204799 File: 4 KB, 97x123, for-you.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7204777

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 9 11:26:00 2011 No.7205569 >>7204799 I like where this is going. Please proceed.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 9 15:15:00 2011 No.7206114 File: 43 KB, 270x270, drawfag y u no draw.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] slooooooooooooooooowwwwwww

Anonymous Sat Apr 9 15:27:59 2011 No.7206150 [DELETED]

File: 206 KB, 750x1070, 003.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Is there still an /a/ version of this thread? I wanted to request a 4koma of Luffy hitting a blunt, passing it to Akainu, Akianu smoking the whole thing down to nothing in one hit, passing it back to Luffy and Luffy making the face on the bottom right.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 9 15:52:00 2011 No.7206223 >>7206150 Get out.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 9 16:24:00 2011 No.7206320 >>7206150 Asking about /a/, requesting something completely unrelated to /jp/, and posting major untagged spoilers. Three strikes, get the fuck out.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 10 06:46:00 2011 No.7208706 bumping but i have nothing to bump with because i am useless

>>	VDZ !!TsSHNYMDNyC Sun Apr 10 10:44:00 2011 No.7209212 File: 134 KB, 272x272, Road.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Music: http://tindeck.com/listen/ptsd

Anonymous Sun Apr 10 21:09:02 2011 No.7211374 [DELETED]

File: 42 KB, 512x906, 4koma2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>7198514

If this anon is looking to the next 4koma, I turned the next two scripts into "mock-ups" in MSPAint. God, I'm such a terrible corny artist. Anyway here's the first one, which follows "Be Brave, Meme!"

>>	masat01 !FR0hP.YNx. Sun Apr 10 21:14:00 2011 No.7211400 File: 74 KB, 604x539, 181905_132847276781249_100001679326143_184778_5153354_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Music: soundcloud.com/masat01 pic not related, but it's a cat

>>	Rude Sun Apr 10 21:18:00 2011 No.7211424 >>7209212 I really like the second half of the song, and particularly the outro. The second piano track playing in the background really fills out the sound. Cool drum track too.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 10 21:25:00 2011 No.7211458 >>7211374 I thought 4koma were supposed to be funny but that's just me

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 10 21:31:02 2011 No.7211492 File: 31 KB, 512x906, 4koma3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7211374 And the second. Kind of hard to mock up the awkward silence moments. I'm a terrible artist. This is really embarrassing.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 10 21:31:43 2011 No.7211491 >>7211374 And the second. Kind of hard to mock up the awkward silence moments.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 10 21:36:00 2011 No.7211524 >>7211374 >4koma >slashed panels nope. And there's also what that other guy said, these panels don't seem to do much, if they're not funny they're not worth showing. Especially this one. It's all build-up and no punchline. >>7211492

>>	Request Anonymous Sun Apr 10 21:43:00 2011 No.7211557 Merlin Prismriver with a trollface-like grin and two lasers by her sides. (SFW)

Anonymous Sun Apr 10 22:26:00 2011 No.7211693

(Part One)Can't depict shit with images to save my life. Posting a couple of scripts if anyone feels like illustrating. The girl-love vibes get stronger from here on out.

"PLAYDATE"

Panel I:

[The panel has an image of the two talking side-by-side, Meme with a really pitiful-looking, obviously forced smile and Nene looking bored. In the background is an image of Nene whining and clinging to her father's waist or something similar, at least.]

Papa had Nene and I go out to play while he and Nene's Papa talked business. Even though Nene complained and whined a lot we ended up going out and getting some fresh air. She's a really stubborn person.

Meme: “So, um, what do you like to do for fun, Nene? Can I call you 'Nee-Nee?”

Nene: (Cold glare)“It's NEE-N, you tool.”

So cold....

Panel II:

[The two are still walking side-by-side, but now Nene has a finger put to her cheek and is staring up like she's thinking hard about something. Meme has her forced grin on again.]

Nene: “To be serious.... Hmmm, what do I like doing....? That's....”

Meme: “Yeah! What do you do for fun? You have to do stuff during the day, right? What do you do?”

Nene: “Yeah, I do things—mean things.”

Meme: “Eh?” (Question mark over her head)

Anonymous Sun Apr 10 22:28:00 2011 No.7211703

>>7211693

(Part Two)Panel III:

[Nene is talking with an innocent smile on her face. In the background are a mother and daughter with their eyes covered by censor bars on their knees groveling by what are implied to be Nene's feet.]

Nene: “I like to make people kiss my toes, buy me things, shower me with gifts. A lot of the time I run people out of business and take their things. When a Mom and daughter beg for mercy I sacrifice the little girl first, and then....”

Meme: “W-wha.....?”

Nene: “Just kidding!” (Innocent smile)

How can she say all that with a straight face?

Panel IV:

[Viewing them both walking down the road from behind. Nothing special here.]

Meme: “Kehehe, want me to show you something fun?”

Nene: “.... Is it something stupid?”

Meme: “Is stupid fun?”

Nene: “..... Hmph.”

Anonymous Sun Apr 10 22:32:00 2011 No.7211717

So gay.

>>7211703

(Part One)"BE GENTLE, OKAY?"

Panel I:

[The two girls are now with another even more country-looking girl in the middle of a barn which holds a number of cows. A taller girl named Rin is explaining the process of milking cows and what happens with the raw milk after it's extracted. Nene has a finger to her chin and actually seems a little interested.]

Rin: “Howdy! Little Miss Meme says you wanna see how you fix a cow to milk it?”

Nene: “Ah, well.... Um, j-just because Papa talks about it and I've never really seen it, myself. It's not like I really care if you show me, you don't have to....”

Rin: “Jaa, jaa! C'mon! I'll show ya~!”

Meme: (Worriedly looking on)“.....”

Panel II:

[Rin is pointing to various pieces of equipment scattered throughout the barn. Nene's poise is identical to that of the last panel, but her eyes are now moving to other parts of the room. Same with Meme.]

Rin: (Holding a finger up matter-of-factly) “Safety's a big part of the job. You have to make sure you're properly equipped or you can get hurt. Just 'cause cows are cute don't mean they won't hurt ya if you squeeze 'em wrong. You need these gloves, and this, and that....”

Nene: “Can I... try to do it myself?”

Rin: “Sure! But I'll have to suit you up myself, Mmm'kay?”

Nene: “Okay, but....”

Anonymous Sun Apr 10 22:33:00 2011 No.7211724

>>7211717

(Part Two) Panel III:

[Panel full of homoerotic subtext. Nene is show covering her mouth with the back of her hand, eyes narrow/almost closed and blushing hard. Her dress is actually slipping dangerous alone and the reader can see some ample cleavage. A little puff of air comes out of her mouth that looks like something you'd see from someone moaning in an ero manga.]

Nene: “C-can you be gentle when you put ('on' is in really small letters, and can almost be read as 'in') on me? I—it's my first time....”

Panel IV:

[Meme and Rin are huddled close to the front of the panel, both of their eyes shaded out. Rin has an enormous, almost sinister-looking grin with a tooth showing and Meme is covering her nose, which is gushing. No text. Nene stands in the background with a question mark over her head.]

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 10 22:47:00 2011 No.7211779 >>7211717 >>7211724 I don't know about the other one, but I'd be okay with this being done.

Anonymous Sun Apr 10 23:44:00 2011 No.7211935

>>7211693
>>7211703
>>7211724
This really doesn't seem like 4koma material.

Way too much text, you're trying to communicate too much by words and not visuals, the only way to compensate is by making more/larger panels which just invalidates it being 4koma. Either trim down the word count or give up on it being a 4koma.

Not enough punchlines/ the fourth panel doesn't have have that "grab", other people have said that it should be "funny", I don't entirely agree but I don't think you're approaching this the right way either since the last panels all seem kinda anticlimatic.

Anonymous Sun Apr 10 23:58:00 2011 No.7211963

>>7211935
kind of agreed with this, there does seem to be a bit too much text to fit in on one panel sometimes.

i'd try to title every 4koma before you make it, that will probably help you keep things shorter since it forces you to acknowledge the point of the strip. if you want to cut down on a sentence, try cutting anything that isn't absolutely necessary to its point(such as some of the comma-separated lists, maybe). 4koma don't really have the luxury of using rich language, the pattern of humor and idea is what counts.

are you testing your text using blank 4koma dummy panels to see if you can fit it in and still have room for an image(and to make sure the overall strip doesn't look like a wall of text)?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 11 00:13:00 2011 No.7211988 Tl;dr 4koma tutorials.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 11 00:20:00 2011 No.7212002 >>7211935 >>7211963 These might work together as a full manga script better. I like the premise.

Anonymous Mon Apr 11 00:25:00 2011 No.7212015

How's this? Better?

'BE GENTLE, OKAY?'

I:
[The two girls are now with another even more country-looking girl in the middle of a barn which holds a number of cows. A taller girl named Rin is explaining the process of milking cows and what happens with the raw milk after it's extracted. Nene has a finger to her chin and actually seems a little interested.]

Rin: “Howdy! Come to see how you fix a cow for milking?”

Nene: “W-well, if you don't mind...”

Meme: (Worriedly looking on)“.....”

II:
[Rin works on setting the device onto a cow's utters. Nene's poise is identical to that of the last panel, but her eyes are now moving to other parts of the room. Same with Meme.]
Nene: “Can I... try to do it myself?”
Rin: “Sure! But I'll have to suit you up myself, Mmm'kay?”
Nene: “Okay, but....”

III:
[Panel full of homoerotic subtext. Nene is show covering her mouth with the back of her hand, eyes narrow/almost closed and blushing hard. Her dress is actually slipping dangerous alone and the reader can see some ample cleavage. A little puff of air comes out of her mouth that looks like something you'd see from someone moaning in an ero manga.]
Nene: “C-can you be gentle when you put ('on' is in really small letters, and can almost be read as 'in') on me? I—it's my first time....”

IV:
[Meme and Rin are huddled close to the front of the panel, both of their eyes shaded out. Rin has an enormous, almost sinister-looking grin with a tooth showing and Meme is covering her nose, which is gushing. No text. Nene stands in the background with a question mark over her head.]

Anonymous Mon Apr 11 00:32:00 2011 No.7212030

I see a lot of artists/modellers/video makers end the names of their work with a percent. Such as "Ayame 120%", "Mado 10%".

What the hell does this percent really mean? I don't get it. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with level of completion and it doesn't seem to be for style/meaning like in the manga "Ichigo 120%." I suppose it could be a replacement for a version number(120% being 1.2 or something), but it doesn't usually seem like it and I don't see the point even if it was.

I see this every so often among content producers and it has made me curious, so if anyone knows I'd appreciate an answer. I've tried googling with little results.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 11 03:17:00 2011 No.7212485 >>7184427 >>7184507 would you mind linking your other pics in this style it brings out the fatalpulse fan in me

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 11 03:36:00 2011 No.7212547 >>7184574 I liked the twintailed girl you've drawn in the past more. Hope you keep drawing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 11 03:59:00 2011 No.7212590 >>7212030 It makes as little sense as it sounds like, stop overthinking it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 11 04:42:00 2011 No.7212650 File: 151 KB, 627x678, yuyuko.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 11 05:10:00 2011 No.7212688 >>7212650 An accurate description of my mood most of the time.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 11 19:40:00 2011 No.7214778 Bump.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 07:14:00 2011 No.7216488 Another bump. Where is the OC?

>>	All day !jCOMomijIM Tue Apr 12 07:24:00 2011 No.7216508 >>7216488 Working on it. I've spent two months formulating in to words how to fuck Tewi, and yet, I feel I've lost my porn muse.

>>	All day !jCOMomijIM Tue Apr 12 08:08:00 2011 No.7216591 >>7216508 going to put Tewi fucking on the backburner until I get off of work in a bit, I hope it's done by today, holy shit I do, as erotic as Tewi is I can't bring myself to finish this piece in a timely manner.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 08:11:00 2011 No.7216600 >>7216591 But Tewi is not erotic...

>>	All day !jCOMomijIM Tue Apr 12 08:14:00 2011 No.7216603 >>7216600 I disagree. Also, fuck, the literature thread 404'd

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 08:21:00 2011 No.7216624 >>7216591 Sounds promising. I'm looking forward to it!

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 08:25:00 2011 No.7216631 File: 193 KB, 400x432, lain2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7212650 reminds me of this

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 16:38:00 2011 No.7217631 >>7198514 Author behind the script of this, here. Cleaning up the sketch and attempting to make it into an actual 4koma. WIP. Would anyone like to see this continued?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 16:43:00 2011 No.7217637 File: 220 KB, 728x1071, MemeAndNeneWIP.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7217631

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 16:49:00 2011 No.7217646 >>7217637 >lolis >4koma >GAY >Does /jp/ want? Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 16:55:00 2011 No.7217658 File: 597 KB, 716x1011, 1301892906283.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7217631 >>7217637 Sure, I'll have it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 18:35:00 2011 No.7217855 File: 220 KB, 315x1024, memeandnene1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I don't know where to get any templates for the manga balloons or tones or whatever you call them, but it still looks halfway decent.

Youmu Konpaku !MyonHUTINA Tue Apr 12 18:39:00 2011 No.7217862
File: 6 KB, 210x178, battler.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I was considering making a Will to go with my Battler Danmakufu player character, and against other people's Bernkastel and Beatrice spellcard sets. Anyone interested in this? Worthwhile to do?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 19:17:00 2011 No.7217991 >>7217855 "know your place" is placed too high. People who read from right to left are going to read it before the other sentence in that panel, which again makes no sense.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 12 21:45:00 2011 No.7218677 >>7217855 There's always Comic Studio, I suppose.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 13 09:27:00 2011 No.7220244 Bump.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 13 10:38:07 2011 No.7220411 File: 267 KB, 1650x1275, miko runs.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 13 12:39:00 2011 No.7220708 File: 457 KB, 1650x1275, miko runs.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Thu Apr 14 04:27:00 2011 No.7223918

>>7217855
Looks okay to me, aside from the aspect ratio being different. The original's AR was better.

Dunno if the original artist has posted again yet though... I'm traumatized by the various horrors of the West when it comes to the online manga/comics it produces, but I'd probably give it a try if he illustrated it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 14 18:17:00 2011 No.7225972 >>7217855 Can we have any more Meme and Nene comics nao plz? I know that's you, Lion. I recognize your writing style anywhere.

>>	Lion !!atisgv1c2+f Thu Apr 14 21:16:00 2011 No.7226621 >>7225972 Well shit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 14 21:19:00 2011 No.7226628 >>7220708 I like it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 15 22:39:00 2011 No.7231051 Bump.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 15 22:44:00 2011 No.7231067 >>7216591 so is that going to happen?

>>	All day !jCOMomijIM Sat Apr 16 01:55:00 2011 No.7231815 >>7231067 This weekend, maybe. But I'll be damned if I stick to a schedule

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 16 15:14:00 2011 No.7233897 Bump.

Anonymous Sat Apr 16 22:04:00 2011 No.7235436

For whoever wanted more Meme/Nene.

I found this was a little easier than writing out a script in Microsoft Word and pasting it. If the dude who did the last Meme/Nene 4koma wants to do another, feel free to use this template. You could make the white parts transparent and put it on top of your images or just draw the pics and have someone else do it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 16 22:07:00 2011 No.7235454 >>7235436 Forgot your picture, dear friend.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 16 22:07:00 2011 No.7235457 >>7235436 Forgot the image.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 16 22:08:00 2011 No.7235461 File: 29 KB, 315x1024, neneandmeme2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7235457 Dude. 4chan is fagging out on me tonight. WORK GODAMNIT.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 16 22:13:00 2011 No.7235478 >>7235461 This one's actually kind of chuckle-worthy. For a 4koma anyway. Looking forward to the images.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 16 23:08:00 2011 No.7235692 Shameless bump for more OC.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 16 23:17:00 2011 No.7235729 >>7235461 >Aunty Rin >Rin >mfw

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 16 23:44:00 2011 No.7235805 >>7235729 >>mfw Get the fuck out faggot. Go back to /v/b/a/

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 05:00:00 2011 No.7237353 File: 71 KB, 1000x1000, daki.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 06:05:00 2011 No.7237518 Can I have a picture of Hsien-ko and Miyako hanging out?

Anonymous Sun Apr 17 06:32:00 2011 No.7237557

http://tindeck.com/listen/sesi

Here's a cover of most of Calc. by the vocaloid producer Jimmythumb (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnwlY437zzM).).

I played guitar, bass, and sequenced the drums - it's a collabo project so just waiting for vocals and keys now. This song is really fun to play

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 07:26:00 2011 No.7237628 >>7237518 I'm on it. Well... at least attempting.

>>	CaptainX !SrfnEhVEk. Sun Apr 17 07:30:00 2011 No.7237635 >>7181256 Le bump

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 09:09:00 2011 No.7237891 File: 312 KB, 634x472, Dynamite.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7237353 Dude.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 09:59:00 2011 No.7238027 File: 26 KB, 704x396, 912874891748917824.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7237353 Posts like this are what make me keep coming back to these OC threads.

>>	Saegrimr !SHIELDM.mE Sun Apr 17 10:57:00 2011 No.7238205 >>7237518 >>7237628 I knew this would happen eventually, best of luck. MIGHT AS WELL THROW MUNAK IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 12:58:00 2011 No.7238580 File: 443 KB, 600x600, Fort.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Older unreleased piece of music OC because I have no new OC this week: http://tindeck.com/listen/kcju (originally made in Q2 2010, don't know exact date).

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 16:05:00 2011 No.7239286 File: 24 KB, 250x250, yuyumad.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Reaction-image time >yuyumad.png

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 16:10:14 2011 No.7239308 File: 22 KB, 126x126, umadyu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7239286

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 17:02:00 2011 No.7239475 File: 12 KB, 251x251, get out of jp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7239286 No. Let's not do anything with reaction images.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 19:19:00 2011 No.7239948 /r/ing a logo for "Gensokyo Public Library." Preferably with transparent background.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 17 23:36:00 2011 No.7240833 >>7237353 Fucking hot. Coloring this now. Will post when it's done.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 18 09:27:00 2011 No.7242123 Bumping for OC.

>>	mugenjohncel !!lsNOT2DQXWT Mon Apr 18 10:00:55 2011 No.7242195 >>7239948 Your wish is my command...

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 18 10:02:00 2011 No.7242201 File: 23 KB, 266x284, 1278881482488.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7242195 Welcome back!

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 18 10:11:00 2011 No.7242220 God fucking damnit Mugen, leave the OC thread alone you annying shithead.

>>	mugenjohncel !!lsNOT2DQXWT Mon Apr 18 10:24:55 2011 No.7242246 File: 2.36 MB, 2412x1860, gensokyo public library.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7239948 As promised... here is your logo of Gensokyo Public Library with Transparency...

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 18 10:34:00 2011 No.7242269 >>7242246 Thank you uncle mugen!

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 18 11:07:00 2011 No.7242328 >>7237557 Not my cup of tea, but hey man your pretty slick on that guitar. Any interest in heavier music?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 18 18:56:00 2011 No.7243824 >>7242328 If you're who I'm guessing you are, then we're already in contact haha native faith / flowers / necrofantasia

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 18 22:17:00 2011 No.7244783 >>7243824 Haha... Nevermind~

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 19 14:42:00 2011 No.7247441 File: 38 KB, 848x480, fags_all_of_you.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7242246 >Mugen

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 19 18:18:00 2011 No.7248124 DRAWFAGS, WHY U NO DRAW?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 19 18:24:00 2011 No.7248158 >>7248124 Come to the flockdraw room and see awesome drawfags draw all the time.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 19 18:58:00 2011 No.7248304 >>7248158 Which is where?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 19 19:02:00 2011 No.7248315 >>7248304 see >>7221156

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 19 19:09:00 2011 No.7248340 >>7248124 Because get out of /jp/.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 19 20:47:00 2011 No.7248754 File: 142 KB, 1050x750, MG+Teto.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7198514 >>7237353 Whoa, it's great to see you again; even if you never left. Seems like forever since you last posted in the OC threads.

>>	All day !jCOMomijIM Wed Apr 20 02:29:00 2011 No.7249986 This week has been industrious. Tomorrow I'll post the Tewi story after I get a chance to proofread and clean it up. For 2 months of work (On and off) though, it's kind've shitty

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 20 11:34:00 2011 No.7251129 >>7235461 >>7237353 Can we have more of these two? They're fucking moe as hell.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 20 21:01:00 2011 No.7253201 Bump.

>>	All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:21:00 2011 No.7254092 Alright, finally finished that fucking Tewi piece, finally length is 2900~ words. Now to fucking proofread it.

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:39:00 2011 No.7254138

>>7254092
I writhed in pain in a make-shift hospital. I was still in Eientei, but surrounded by Mystia, as well as my assailants and their accomplices. Though the room was divided with thick tensions, Mystia was the only one near the bed. She climbed on to it at the sight of my awakening, crushing my body under the blankets. I moved my hand near my penis, to ensure that it was no longer bent at an unimaginable angle. There was a noticeable cut across my chest from Kaguya’s stilettos.

“We managed to bend it back in to place, though there was more blood than there should have, everything should be working as intended.” Eirin said. It was normal, but sore from either the fracture or the events leading to the fracture. Mystia reared away from me

“Ugh, you smell horrible.” She held her nose, with eyes watering. I could smell myself too, an awful, rank stench coming from the bed. My hair was slick with grease and sweat. I pulled the sheets off of me, and sat on the edge of the bed.

“I wouldn’t doubt it, blood and sweat sitting for 3 days isn’t a very pleasant smell. Showers are in there” Eirin pointed to a door at the other side of the room. I took a moment to gather my bearings, it felt as though I’d been shot in the head. Mystia helped me to my feet off of the small makeshift bed. My legs nearly gave out from disuse and my first few steps were painful, but I managed to stay up. I shot a glare to both Mokou and Kaguya, who seemed completely negligent to the fact that I was in the state I was because of them. Mokou responded with a smug grin, pulling at the bandages on her cheek. I wobbled and shambled to the showers, the stench from the bed clearly floating in the room. As I passed Mokou, she leaned in to my ear.

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:41:00 2011 No.7254142

>>7254138
“So, who was better?” She whispered. I turned and gave her a cold stare. I could not answer, nor did I care to. I walked in to the showers and closed the doors behind me.

In my sleep I had been garbed in a thin medical gown. I stripped down and tossed it to the side. I checked my manhood for any damage under clear lighting. No scratches nor stitches, Eirin was a master of medicine after all. The shower was incredibly modernized and westernized, something fit for a princess, or at least I presumed from the panties I found on the floor. I tossed them with the gown for later use. I turned the knob to full blast, the hot water steamed the air. I stepped in to the near-scalding water and washed away the shame and sweat. I could not make the water hot enough to burn away the images and experiences from my mind without harming myself. The room was full of thick steam, fogging the mirrors and plastic curtain. I took a palm of shampoo and ran it through my hair. Though my eyes were closed, I could hear something outside of the curtain over the rushing water. I cleaned the shampoo from my hair and rubbed my eyes clear, I could see nothing outside of the shower. My imagination was playing tricks on me, or Eirin put something in the water. I ignored it and made an attempt to grab the bar of soap. It wrestled from my grip, sliding down the tub. Dropping the soap proved for a difficult situation, my legs still hurt and pained to bend. Before I could pull myself back up with the soap, I felt the curtain pull back. The young bunny-girl from before stood staring at me, with the panties I threw on my discarded gown between her thumbs.

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:42:00 2011 No.7254145

>>7254142
“It’s perverted to take a little girl’s panties!” She exclaimed

“Those were left in here, I never touched them” I said, meeting with her on eye level

“Don’t lie, I saw you take them from the floor, maybe I’ll just tell Eirin” She smirked “Or, Kaguya, she likes perverts” I felt my face went pale under the hot water. I tried to stand up, but my legs locked in place on the tub’s floor. The young girl stepped in to the tub with me, with little space to give up. She slipped the soap from my hand while I still struggled to stand up. I gave up trying to stand up, it was too difficult while she was in with me. She rubbed my back with the bar of soap, and used her soft hands to massage it in. She reminded me of Mystia, their physical bodies, their perverted tendencies, the only thing missing was the controlling, threatening libido which was found in almost all of the ladies of Gensokyo thus far. Tewi’s soapy hands reached around, resting on my flaccid penis. I pulled away and turned, looking at her. The erotic little bunny girl had a cheek-ripping grin, despite her previous accusations. Suds covered her flat chest and body.
“Kaguya isn’t the only one who likes perverts” Her cheeky voice whispered out. The water washed away the remaining suds. I tried once more to pull myself to my feet, but with no resolve. Tewi pulled the shower’s lever, turning it off, then turned to pull at my lever, turning me on. I backed away, but Tewi pushed herself on to me. I held her at arms length.

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:43:00 2011 No.7254148

>>7254145
“Tewi, please leave” I managed, expecting to be slapped or threatened

“No” She responded flatly. “I don’t think you understand.” She slid her feet to straddle my chest.
“Rabbits fuck, a lot. Thats a simple fact of life”

“With other rabbits” The grin slipped from her face. A grimace rose and she turned around, still sitting on me.

“You know, I have the power to grant good fortune and luck... Kaguya might just be lucky enough to walk in, and Eirin might be fortunate enough to walk in after.” I bit my lip, remembering how I got myself in to this situation in the first place. She bent her neck back and placed her forehead under my chin, the grin reappeared. I hesitantly gripped my cock and fondled what little I could on Tewi’s flat chest, which was nothing more than 2 erect pink nipples over a quickening heartbeat. Tewi was still slick from the shower, causing me to lose grip on her. I gathered what little pride I had left and lowered my hand down to her navel. I was blocked by her hand, which had found it’s way down before mine, prepping herself. I took hold of her arm, stopping her mid rub.

“What? Did you finally grow a pair of balls to fuck a little girl?” She scolded “You disgusting, Lolicon filth!” I was confused to no end, she had been sending me mixed messages throughout our meeting. I went with the high road of fucking her, hoping I wouldn’t be met with screams of fear and rape. I rammed with the force of an invading Mongol army, laying siege to Tewi’s tight walls. Her tiny hands gripped my hips, nearly puncturing my skin with her nails. Maybe I was too rough?

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:44:00 2011 No.7254151

>>7254148
“You fucking pansy! I’ve had tables fuck harder than you!” She shouted. I clasped her mouth with my hand to keep her from alerting any of the others, lest Eirin or Kaguya find me. Her shouts turned to mumbles and groans under my hand, whilst my assault continued. Her body began going limp when I removed my hand. Her breast heaved, taking in deep breaths. My hips worked themselves, and Tewi became more submissive with each thrust. Tewi began to fall back limply, I knelt up to catch her. It was a trap. She swung her legs around and locked in, holding me tightly to her small thighs.

“Cum inside me you fucking pin-dicked bastard!” She shouted, the echo reverberating through all of Eientei. Her thighs pulled closer, I couldn’t hold back anymore. My throbbing member pushed in to her womb, filling the damp orifice with semen. Tewi held tightly to my hips, until the last drop was extracted. My hips shook and convulsed, exhausting what little energy I had left. Tewi unlocked her hips from mine and slowly pulled off from her cowgirl position. I filled her womb to the brim, leaving a thick overflow. We were both left with a loss of breath, exhausted and covered in sweat. I managed to pull myself over the edge of the tub and to take a proper seat on the edge of the porcelain. Tewi pulled herself up and placed her head in my lap, nuzzling my penis. I feared that Reisen would burst in any second, Tewi’s shouts still echoing in my head.

“Hey!” She cocked her head from my cock “Want to go again?”

“Again?” I looked down, her face gleaming “It hasn’t even been 5 minutes!” The bright face turned to a puppy-eyed gaze, nearing the edge of tears. It stung my heart to see a little girl like that, even if she was a rabid sex-beast. I placed my hand on her head, patting it gently. “Fine, but just once more.”

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:45:00 2011 No.7254155

>>7254151
What felt like hours later, I knew the meaning of “Fuck like rabbits.” I had exerted all possible energy, leaving me limp and lifeless. Tewi had succumbed to sleep, I was left paralyzed in the tub in a similar state. The napping rabbit slept on my chest, hair saturated in cum and sweat. Just as I began to doze off, I heard a banging at the bathroom’s door.

“Hey! Are you done in there?!” Reisen shouted, Tewi did not so much as react to the sound. Before I could pull her off of me, Reisen had pulled the sliding door open. Her face went a bright red, seeing Tewi and I in the bathtub. Tewi sat up and rubbed her dreary eyes, looking up at Reisen. “Tewi! What the hell are you doing!” She scolded “You’re shamefully displaying all of Eientei’s rabbits!”

“And at this angle you’re shamelessly displaying your stripes” Tewi rebutted. I looked clear up Reisen’s skirt to see a bright blue and white striped panties. Reisen closed her legs and tucked the skirt in, obstructing our view.

“Damn it Tewi!” She shouted, her face reddening evermore “I swear, one of these days I’ll...”

“Do what? Get more sexually frustrated than you already are?” Tewi snapped “Or will you just shove a carrot up your ass like you always do?” Reisen stepped back, staring daggers at Tewi. Those daggers became a beam of red light aimed straight in to Tewi’s eyes. She went limp in my lap like a rag doll. I grabbed her by her thin shoulders and shook her, but to no avail. Her eyes shown a look of fear and frustration, however, it was as if she had no mouth, and tried to scream. I looked up to Reisen, who stood over Tewi intimidatingly.

“Wh... what did you do to her?!” I asked

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:48:00 2011 No.7254167

>>7254155
“I made her filthy mind in to a clean slate, for the time being at least. She remembers the last 3 hours vividly, however, she’s susceptible to commands.” Reisen explained “Watch. Tewi, look at me!” Tewi’s stare turned to Reisen. “Suck his dick, down to the base” She commanded. Almost mechanically Tewi positioned herself, and in one fluid motion drove my penis in to the back of her throat. There was no gagging, coughing, however, her eyes went wide with pain and disgust. She pulled away, only to continue slamming my cock down her throat. Her eyes welled with tears, despite this being exactly what she was doing an hour ago. I pulled her away, though her mind controlled body was forcefully defensive.

“Tewi! Say something!” Her enslaved mind broke from the control enough to use her mouth for words. I had either ravaged her throat or she was still in Reisen’s control but her words were nearly inaudible. I managed to read a “Help” off of her lips.

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:50:00 2011 No.7254173

>>7254167
“Tewi, lift your hips” Reisen commanded again. The mindslave obliged, slamming her face down in to my lap. I felt her struggling to either continue her deepthroats, or form words. I looked back to Reisen, who was 2 fingers deep in Tewi’s ass. “Tewi, keep sucking” I felt the warm throat of Tewi envelope my penis once more, going down to the base, back to the head, and base again like a well-lubricated machine. I felt myself edging closer to climax, Tewi’s throat felt like it could pull my dick off at any moment. Reisen had been working her own clothes off on the other end of the tub, tossing her button-up shirt and striped panties to the bathroom floor. She lifted a leg and held Tewi’s mouth down, preventing her from breathing or pulling away. The constriction was too much, and I felt myself swell up. I filled Tewi’s throat with my seed as her face began to turn purple. Her eyes began to roll back in to her head as I pulled out of her mouth. Reisen flipped her over, Tewi’s flat chest ceased to contract or expand. Reisen locked lips with Tewi, and blew breath down in to her lungs. Her breath returned slowly, and her face returned to it’s pinkish hue. Reisen pulled her mouth away with a string of cum on her lips. She wiped it away, allowing Tewi to breath before lodging a third finger in her ass.

“Alright, shes going to hate me for this...” Reisen plotted, pulling her fingers from Tewi’s orifice. Reisen grabbed her by her hair, whispering something in her ear. Tewi crouched dizzily and sat once more on my chest while facing Reisen on the other side of the tub. Reisen pulled at my penis, pointing it straight upwards. Tewi dropped hard on it, slamming it in to her. The breath was forced from her again as she attempted to cope with the sudden anal attack. Reisen cupped my balls as Tewi slowly pulled herself upwards again, preparing for another one.

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:51:00 2011 No.7254179

>>7254173
Reisen stopped her, pushing her parallel to my chest again. Tewi’s cheeks had streams of tears running down them, unable to retake control of her body. Reisen laid on top of Tewi, sandwiching her between the two of us. Reisen forced her tongue down Tewi’s throat, much gentler than I had been with it minutes ago. Reisen once more whispered in to Tewi’s ear, having the little rabbit girl continue with the painful position. Reisen’s anal fingering did little to loosen her ass, and without proper lubrication it was obviously painful for her, though it was amazing for me. The feeling was overwhelming, however, Tewi stopped suddenly and pulled off.

Tewi crawled over Reisen, who had assumed a paizuri position on her stomach. Tewi laid next to Reisen in the tub, putting both of her hands on my still throbbing penis. Reisen squeezed her breasts together, entrapping my penis between the fleshpillows. Each bounce and jiggle pushed me closer to climax. Tewi pushed me over the edge, adding her hands in to the mix. With weak propulsion, I came. Reisen slowed her hands until the last drop drained, her face saturated with semen. She turned to Tewi, breathing heavily, and forced her tongue in to Tewi’s mouth.

“Think it’s about time to release Tewi now?” I asked. Reisen broke her kiss from Tewi, leaving a stream of cum on her cheek.

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:52:00 2011 No.7254183

>>7254179
“Just one more thing, stay right here.” She stood up, and walked out of the room. I gave Tewi a hard shake in an attempt to snap her out of it, all I got was a blank stare. Reisen came back in to the room holding a camera.

“Alright Tewi, ahegao for me!” She commanded, Tewi’s still eyes rolled back, her mouth opened wide and her tongue flopped out. I saw a bright flash and heard the shutter click. “Alright, put your dick in the picture.” I thought about trying to stare her down, though it would not be wise to stare someone down who could mind control you. I poked Tewi’s open cheek with my penis, another flash and click. “Alright, now lick her ass!” I looked at her with shock and disgust. That is the one thing I would absolutely refuse, even if it meant my sanity. “Fine! That should be enough for blackmail and that Tengu wench.” She snapped her fingers, breaking Tewi out of her bound mind. She looked around, and began to tear up.

“Waah!” She began to cry “Reisen you jerk!” She leapt in to my arms, burying her face in my chest. I patted her cum-soaked hair, attempting to comfort her. I heard the bathroom door open, and in walked Eirin, applauding.

All day !jCOMomijIM Thu Apr 21 01:54:00 2011 No.7254187

>>7254183
“Fantastic show Tewi, your acting is almost believable” She grinned. I felt a sharp pain in my neck, I turned to look at Reisen, who jabbed me with a syringe filled with green liquid. Tewi dropped off of me as I began to lose vision. The last thing I saw was Eirin, grinning ear to ear.

Not indicative of 2 months of work, but now its time I hiatus

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 21 02:04:00 2011 No.7254230 File: 266 KB, 600x800, 332bdfcc47de57007977258d9695e79a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >I rammed with the force of an invading Mongol army, laying siege to Tewi’s tight walls

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 21 17:57:00 2011 No.7256687 Bump.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 21 22:30:00 2011 No.7257581 File: 445 KB, 600x1200, anohanas.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Thu Apr 21 23:29:00 2011 No.7257701

Sometimes I can't help but give free reign to my likely acting. I am curious about your turned neck. You always like to envision the typical /jp/ user as a thin, semi-attractive, socially awkward yet polite, gentleman that appears to be an upstanding member of society, save for their deviant interests.

Anonymous Fri Apr 22 00:18:00 2011 No.7257874
File: 297 KB, 1466x1099, 100_0521.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Well, I said I'd do more Touhou Arkham Horror cards after new Touhous came out, and so I made the new ones in addition to a few other new ones that I hadn't got around to doing yet.

Download contains all the .eon files, character markers, pictures, and cards as always.

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?w8oszgqxg72ydh2

New investigators: Akyu, Koakuma, Kyouko, Mai, Maribel, Renko, Shou, Toyohime, Yorihime, Yoshika, Yuki, and Yumeko.

Fixed investigators [Only the new card included]: Yukari (Some how I misspelled her last name before).
Remilia (Went from underpowered to grossly overpowered, take your pick).

New Ancient Ones: Kyouko, Watasuki Sisters, Lily Black, and Yuki & Mai.

Sadly I haven't printed out all of the new ones yet for a picture.

Also, I'm curious. Did anyone who downloaded any of the cards before ever get a chance to play with them? I'd love to hear if anyone had any experience with them as me and my friends only play every other week and we haven't gone through everyone yet.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 22 00:31:00 2011 No.7257914 >>7257874 Oh, also, links to the older downloads are in OC thread 41. http://archive.easymodo.net/jp/thread/7060851#p7061479

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 22 13:50:00 2011 No.7259691 >>7204799 Hey, I don't know who you are but you are important. Are you still here?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 22 19:12:00 2011 No.7260764 >>7259691 >I don't know who you are but you are important Is he the hero the prophecy has spoken of?

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 22 19:21:00 2011 No.7260798 >>7254151 >I’ve had tables fuck harder than you! Yes plz.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 22 19:42:00 2011 No.7260847 >>7217862 I would love this. Has anybody made a danmakufu script to the tune of rog_limitation? Because it would be perfect.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 22 23:53:00 2011 No.7261508 >>7254151 >“You fucking pansy! I’ve had tables fuck harder than you!” Classic.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 23 09:44:00 2011 No.7262946 Bump.

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 23 09:46:00 2011 No.7262950 You just noticed the background of that stage is jessica's school festival, you would love to see how chaotic it looks when it goes into meta world.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 24 01:55:00 2011 No.7266008 Bump

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 24 03:46:00 2011 No.7266339 File: 220 KB, 1000x861, nitori portal.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] just finished Portal 2

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 24 03:53:00 2011 No.7266358 I want something with diapers.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 24 11:14:00 2011 No.7267221 >>7266339 Really cute, good job.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 24 12:07:00 2011 No.7267294 File: 280 KB, 1110x962, nyaa.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

VDZ !!TsSHNYMDNyC Sun Apr 24 16:36:00 2011 No.7267939
File: 27 KB, 335x335, Eternal Rain_square.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

More semi-new music OC: http://tindeck.com/listen/zmiq

It's actually a modified version of an unreleased track I made all the way back in July 2009. You can listen to the original version at http://tindeck.com/listen/nwhn if you want to compare.

Anonymous Sun Apr 24 17:09:00 2011 No.7268054

http://tindeck.com/listen/nsub

Here's what I've been working on today.

It's an arrange of the famous vocaloid song "Anata ni hana wo / watashi ni uta wo" I made IN MIDI FORM about 6 months ago, so this weekend I performed it with actual instruments (apart from drums, they're sequenced)

The kinda story behind the arrangement was that it could be performed by a 3-piece band, with the bassist doubling on keys ala Rush. So there's no multitracked guitars or anything, for what it's worth.

The vocals were stripped (badly) from Nayuta's utattemita version of the song and haphazardly thrown in there.

Also, I'm aware that my mixing skills are nonexistent.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 24 17:19:00 2011 No.7268078 >>7268054 http://tindeck.com/listen/hsue Here's the instrumental version without those offensive vocals, so you can better hear my amazing guitar, bass, and keyboard playingnot

Anonymous Sun Apr 24 17:44:00 2011 No.7268146
File: 213 KB, 800x600, 76148e01ec2bc6e362bfd86f08c34f53.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

http://soundcloud.com/ganjameister/beef-jerky
Electro remix of Meiling's theme.

http://soundcloud.com/ganjameister/a-pleasureable-tune-for-boys
Original Jazz piece if you don't like UNTZ UNTZ

>>	Rude Sun Apr 24 17:54:00 2011 No.7268185 So much music lately, really nice. Makes me sad that I haven't done anything in a long time.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 24 18:01:00 2011 No.7268213 >>7268185 I want to play bass for you again!

Anonymous Sun Apr 24 18:38:00 2011 No.7268374

>>7268054

Sounds good amigo. Alot better without the vocals though.

>>7268185
There's an easy way to fix that. what kinda music do ya wanna play?

>>7268146
I like that jazzy one. The VST's aren't that great of a quality, but It still sounds better than the UNTZ stuff.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 24 19:28:00 2011 No.7268519 >>7268374 I use Ableton Live. How do I get more VSTs?

Anonymous Sun Apr 24 19:46:00 2011 No.7268555

>>7268519

There are commercial ones if ya have the cash to blow. If not just google free VST's and start
scrubbin sites. There are some gems if ya look around enough.

>>7268185
Just heard an old song ya composed called "Prayer". Great stuff man, reminds me of old school Opeth.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 24 19:47:00 2011 No.7268559 File: 2.23 MB, 1000x1000, slowandlazy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7161354 After over 9000 years, OP delivers.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 24 21:28:00 2011 No.7268905 >>7268559 Ah well, in lieu of artfags comments, this looks sickeningly good brah. Keep it up.

>>	Necrobrotent Sun Apr 24 21:44:00 2011 No.7268947 >>7268559 I would enjoy seeing more if you'd continue.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 25 02:10:00 2011 No.7269766 >>7268519 http://dskmusic.blogspot.com/p/downloads.html has some free good ones.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 25 02:26:00 2011 No.7269815 >>7268559 my god her bush

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 25 07:21:00 2011 No.7270613 >>7268078 >Genre(s): Comedy World Dubstep I sometimes browse Tindeck, and I hate people like you.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 26 03:54:00 2011 No.7273645 Motherfucking bump. Why doesn't anybody else bump this?

>>	All Day !jCOMomijIM Tue Apr 26 03:57:00 2011 No.7273651 >>7273645 I did it, like, once. Give me a few days and I'll bump it again

Anonymous Tue Apr 26 05:41:00 2011 No.7273968

>>7273645
I have one or two times, but /jp/ oftentimes depresses me enough to make me purposely not look at it at all.

>>7268559
If you'd like a criticism, it feels like her left thigh is a little out of place in a way that makes it look small if when partially hidden from the perspective the picture is drawn at. That's the only thing I can see, though, and maybe it's just me. Good job.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 26 07:13:00 2011 No.7274229 File: 348 KB, 819x1014, tako.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 26 12:34:26 2011 No.7275007 File: 365 KB, 686x1404, mio.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Mio from Nichijou. Feel free to report.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 26 12:53:00 2011 No.7275072 File: 326 KB, 639x940, 1268864553215.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7275007 I love your work, loli anon. It's great, don't let a few reportfags stop you. If you could do the proffesor from nichijou that would be awesome.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 26 13:43:26 2011 No.7275263 File: 465 KB, 1400x1467, needs a fix.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7275007 Nice, but...

Anonymous Tue Apr 26 15:26:40 2011 No.7275587 [DELETED]

File: 440 KB, 720x900, 17fd26991127d5a98594baa19dc80edb.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Can any kind draw fellow draw Bloom Mariah depicted in a woman in power kind of thing? I am not looking for anything specific just something along the lines of if a father were to look at his daughter tears would well up because of how proud he is of her. I would like to see more of her. It seems no one else uses her but me.

and if you cant draw her like that then anything will do really, i just like to see more of her

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 26 17:04:00 2011 No.7275842 File: 4 KB, 290x270, depressed.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7275007 >actually got deleted

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 26 17:34:00 2011 No.7275862 Would /jp/ play a Team Fortress-esque RPG where the characters are magical girls?

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 00:44:00 2011 No.7276703 >>7275862 We in the industry just call that "an RPG."

>>	All day !jCOMomijIM Wed Apr 27 07:15:26 2011 No.7277925 Page 12? Nope.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 27 14:21:00 2011 No.7278885 Bump.

>>	Akane !9Baka9Ay96 Thu Apr 28 00:52:39 2011 No.7279730 File: 52 KB, 455x385, remi_frustrated.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7248124

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 00:57:00 2011 No.7279750 File: 64 KB, 273x525, the devil sees impureties in ran.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>7279730

>>	Akane !9Baka9Ay96 Thu Apr 28 21:50:39 2011 No.7282874 File: 122 KB, 1024x805, Picture.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] bump

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 28 22:49:00 2011 No.7283035 New/next thread, apparently. >>7282923

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 01:18:00 2011 No.7283399 >>7283035 404, apparently.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 15:04:00 2011 No.7284901 Bump.

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 15:05:00 2011 No.7284907 Now it's autosaging...

>>	Anonymous Fri Apr 29 20:00:00 2011 No.7286012 new thread? Anyone?

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/jp/ - Otaku Culture