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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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7115764 No.7115764 [Reply] [Original]

Alright /jp/. I'm from /v/. And I just flew in from /a/. How do you do?

So, I'm gonna give you the same line I gave /a/: I'm gonna give it to you straight here. No boner puns. There's a chick I dig. She is hard into touhou. Therefore, I need to know touhou. I need to know touhou like it's the fuckin' Matrix in here alright? So crash course! Everything I need to know!

>> No.7115770
File: 75 KB, 800x600, FUCK YOU AND FUCK THIS IMAGE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7115770

>> No.7115768

>>>/a/
>>>/v/
>>>/sp/
>>>/adv/
>>>/soc/

>> No.7115775

http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Touhou_Wiki
learn the whole wiki by heart.

>> No.7115780

>>7115775

An you won't even know as much as us.

>> No.7115781

and we're supposed to help you because....?

>> No.7115783

>>7115768
>>7115770

...Seriously, everywhere I've -been- has hated touhou. What is -up- with this?

>> No.7115785

>>>/poosh/

>> No.7115786

>girl into touhou.

Run.

>> No.7115792

OP is an idiot. for a normal, I thought you would be more clever with girls than this. Ask her to teach you about it, get to know her better in the process.

You're making the mistake of making this about touhou rather than her.
Take it from a femanon

>> No.7115804

Tell her you know how to get to Gensokyo. Then kill her and yourself.

>> No.7115817

>>7115792
...You know. You're probably right. But what if she tells me to go look it up anyway? I'd be right back where I started in this case. Also WHY IS EVERYONE TELLING ME TO RUN FROM THIS GIRL. WHAT IS GOING ON.

>> No.7115820

>>7115804

yes go with this one

>> No.7115824

>wants to know touhou to get girl

Get the fuck out of here, you gigantic faggot, that's even worse than secondaries.

>> No.7115829
File: 100 KB, 750x600, bad apple.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7115829

well rather than knowing all about touhou, you only need to know as much as she knows, or around that level.

you know, I have a better idea: ask HER to teach you about touhou. let her enjoy at being the person who opens that door for you.

>> No.7115834
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7115834

>>7115817
Touhou fanbase is a cult fanbase anon. Dont be too surprised if she tries to kill you in your sleep as a sacrifice for her to enter Gensokyo.

If she ever gives you a drink DO NOT DRINK IT. If she ever tells you to stay the night, prepare to wake up missing toenails or both your eyebrows.

Not so important, but make sure you flush when you go to the bathroom.

Could someone show this kind fellow the portal procedures so he can understand? I know he's just a normal, but I feel sad for him.

>> No.7115836

>>7115792
>You're making the mistake of making this about touhou rather than her.
>implyind 3DPD matters more than Touhou
The fuck is wrong with you?

>> No.7115838

Look just memorize some mechanics, you don't actually have to play the games, and mention them in conversation.

Say stuff like:

"Oh man, don't you hate it when Cirno (pronounced Keer-no, it's japanese) uses her lasers? It's like, really hard without turbo."

"I think Wriggle Nightbug is my favourite Stage 7 boss."

"In perfect cherry blossom which character do you use? I'm a big fan of Marisa's C shot myself."

"I can't beat IN, just too hard. Am I right?"

"Parsee is the worst touhou."

"When I'm low on power and lives I usually kill myself to get them both back up to full, beaten so many games doing that."

>> No.7115839

What does into touhou mean here?

You may not be aware of this but most "fans" have no intention of ever playing the games.

>> No.7115841

Why are you guys taking this thread seriously?
Did the first line not give OP away?

>> No.7115843

>>7115834
It'll be easier if he doesn't know.
Best way to escape the man eating beast is to outrun the dumbass gawking at the beast.

>> No.7115846

This one is actually moderately enjoyable because whoever wins, he loses.

>> No.7115847
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7115847

>>7115836
>is wrong with you?
read the spoiler.

>>7115817
well, I imagine she is rather lonely if she likes touhou, she would like it to have someone who understand touhou-related jokes, like turning the air conditioner during math class or something.

>> No.7115850

>>7115834
Where's that from?

>> No.7115856

>>7115841
Oddly enough, not everything is a troll.

Also, I have a feeling I'm iiiin over my head. Not quite sure yet though. I think I've only heard her talking about playing the pocket fighter version and about...playing some MMO and making..like...homages to some character with a scythe with a friend of hers. I mostly zoned out.

She also likes Vocaloid. Should I be scared, or should I just have her teach me about this?

>> No.7115874 [DELETED] 

>>7115846
Sir, you are damaging my calm.

[/spoiler] No really, this isn't going to end well for me at all, is it? [/spoiler]

>> No.7115871
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7115871

If she likes touhou then she's probably a lesbian.

You're better off not wasting your time.

>> No.7115881

>>7115764

I came from /a/ to help you out.

If you want to know the games:
Play Perfect Cherry Blossom, Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, or Subterranean Animism. Everything else is extra credit. You don't have to beat them just realize what you're up against.

If you want to know the Fanon:
Go on e-hentai and read at least 40 NON-H fanworks. Some are good, some are bad. Romance, Action, Humor, everything in between. Just get some.

If you want to know music
Look some shit up on youtube or torrents. http://www.youtube.com/user/Naturalistick2#p/p This guy has some decent playlists so pick whatever genre you enjoy, and see if you like anything in there. Also, look up Demetori because Demetori is fucking amazing.

If you want to know anything else:
http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Touhou_Wiki

You could probably skip playing the games and just read about them on the wiki if you really want to. But Fanon and Music must be researched separately. Good luck OP. Get that ass. I hope she's worth it. And if not, you have 70+ new potential waifus unlocked for you.

>> No.7115882

>>7115856
I think your friend surfs /jp/ and has seen this thread.

pocket fighter? like for a pocket hendheld or is it pocket touhou wars?
and scyte can only be komachi or elly. elly seems more reasonable, despite how old bad apple is.
watch bad apple on youtube. a good start into touhou.

>> No.7115883

>>7115856
Then, she's probably a secondaryfag. The only thing she will teach you about Touhou will be "LOL Chiruno is so kawaii desu~ xD".

>> No.7115890

>>7115871
>If she likes touhou then she's probably a lesbian.
I never thought about it, but every female that I know of that is into the games is either a lesbian or claims to be bisexual, but only ever talks about vaginas. Spooky.

>> No.7115894

If you insist on dragging this shit out, at least learn to sage properly.

>> No.7115908

>>7115817
>what if she tells me to go look it up anyway

Means she doesn't like you.

>> No.7115914
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7115914

>this thread

>> No.7115920
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7115920

>Atkinson_Rowan

>> No.7115924 [SPOILER] 
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7115924

Ok! OP! ok! Are you listening? Are you listening? Are you listening? Ok! Listen GOOD!

Jump from the sixth floor of a building and start dodging the dust molecules, then deathbomb as you're about to hit the floor

Seriously though, spoilered in pic is the secret to beating Touhou.

>> No.7115926

>>7115882
Pocket Touhou Wars, yeah, I think that was the one!

>>7115881
Also, thank you very much for your help. Means alot comin' from another board to help!

>> No.7115933 [SPOILER] 
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7115933

>>7115924
>spoilered in pic is the secret to beating Touhou.
Hold shift for focused movement?

>> No.7115937

She's a secondary, OP. You two are a perfect match, both of you are so normal neither of you belong here or should be taken seriously.

>> No.7115940

>>7115924
I would actually play a Touhou game centered around this.

>> No.7115946
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7115946

inb4 said chick is watching this very thread in pure disgust at OP for not asking her about it first in earnest.

Have fun!

>> No.7115951

Did all the kiddies get out of school already? Fuck, I'm going to bed.

>> No.7115956

>>7115926
pocket touhou wars is a very fun game. why don't you search for the english translation and download it?

>> No.7115980

>>7115764
So basicly you are doing something beatiful to ruin your life?

Well to each their own I guess

>> No.7115991

>>7115980
I wouldn't call coming here to get info so he can pretend to be a fan of it a beautiful thing.

unless he really does accidentally get into it

>> No.7116035

Remember to ask her what anime this is based off of.

>>
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