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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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7115036 No.7115036 [Reply] [Original]

So you like Patchouli?
Has it ever occur to you that she probably smells like some moldy old virgin librarian, with a hint of rotting meat stew and boiled vegetables?
She probably never changes her clothes nor clean herself. Her undergarment probably has alot of dead skin collected, mixed with dry feces and urine, then she probably just sleeps in this filthy, upkept maternity clothing.
It doesn't look like she ever cut nor wash her hair, just letting them hang with some lazy band things. You ever thought of caressing and smelling her hair? You hand would probaby become very sticky and smell like strong acid.
She probaby never shaves either. Remember Reimu's armpit? No, you'll probably find there hard hair balls that have organic creatures as inhabitants.
She does not care.

She is nice from a distance though.

>> No.7115040

She is probably very fat and with saggy tits. That Disgusting muffin top of a waist.

>> No.7115043
File: 621 KB, 1200x1697, Hair and shit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7115043

>>7115036
It's okay. Tana does it all the time, looks pretty damn hot.

>> No.7115047

You know before you have sex or get intimate you can always bath and clean yourself? Even if you spell like fish or rotten meat bathing will get rid of it.

>> No.7115054

>>7115047
not in patchouli's case it won't go away.
she has been at it for hundreds of years

>> No.7115061
File: 434 KB, 600x600, hikkiisan.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7115061

>> No.7115067

Fuck you, let me different paint a different picture

she bathes in milk, her pyjamas are made of silk and her slippers are a fluffy pink, her clothes always smell like the strong scent of the flowers from her fresh detergeant. She drinks many different herbal teas, her health is amazing, her figure and large breasts come entirely from her diet which consists of vegetable foods only, she is pure, her voice is extremely cute, her hug will melt you.

That's better

>> No.7115068

>>7115054
It would just take more time to get clean. The top layer of skin will come off given enough time. Hair can be cut or cleaned thoroughly after a month or two of good hygiene.

>> No.7115069

>>7115067

Stoned as fuck. I tried though

>> No.7115073

>>7115036
DAT UNHEALTHY FLAP OF MEAT

>> No.7115077
File: 12 KB, 154x240, 1300449871136.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7115077

OH GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOD

>> No.7115088
File: 20 KB, 200x200, 1299380599425.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7115088

>>7115077
This is my fetish.jpg

>> No.7115094
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7115094

It's canon that she takes showers. Sorry to ruin your fantasies OP.

Remilia and Flandre probably don't take showers though because vampires explode when they touch water.

>> No.7115096

>>7115094
Try to twist that fate, you fucking lazy spoiled vampire.

>> No.7115098

>>7115067

In addition, she has a motherly feel and large breasts

>> No.7115131

>>7115094
It's running water that vampires can't go into, so they can take baths.

>> No.7115135

Patchouli smells like patchouli, hurr.

>> No.7115289

P-patchouli you are not are-ready yet!

>> No.7115299

I like filthy Patchouli. This makes sex rougher and better.

>> No.7115303

You hope I'll learn from this to be discreet when pirating shit and not flaunt it everywhere like a child who just found his mother's cookie stash. Patchouli smells like patchouli, hurr.

>> No.7115305

I would like to give patchouli a shower and a strong scrub, and then a nice relaxing bath.

>> No.7115317
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7115317

Lady Patchouli's slutty embankment is so soft and unbearable.

>> No.7115327
File: 948 KB, 1500x1244, Touhou Scarlet Penthouse.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7115327

>>7115094

>vampires explode when they touch water.

But they are totally fine in the sun!

You are now thinking how holding a sleeping Flan or Remmy - assuming they are anything like traditional vampire lore - would be like holding a true corpse. A cute, dead girl: cold and motionless, so sad. ;_;

>> No.7115326

>>7115036
>>7115040
This is why I love her.

>> No.7115333

>>7115327
Why so non-canon? Haven't you EVER played EoSD or SWR?

>> No.7115348

Fatchouli is the miracle of the universe.

>> No.7115354

>>7115333
i dont play the games lol

>> No.7115357

>>7115327
Why are there two Flandre's?

>> No.7115363

>>7115357
>Why are there durp herp

Get out of here, you worthless piece of shit.

>> No.7115366

>>7115357
There are 4 in that pic one cooking, one under the table, one putting up a poster, the last eating with meiling. 4 of a kind.

>> No.7115365
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7115365

>>7115357
There's four, and this fool who hasn't played EoSD either.

>> No.7115364
File: 31 KB, 432x571, hemingway.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7115364

>>7115357
>mfw two flandres.

>> No.7115368
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7115368

>>7115357
Why can't you count?

>> No.7115371
File: 944 B, 50x61, bamf.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7115371

>>7115365
Addendum: Can't use this motherfucker correctly either.

>> No.7115378

>>7115368
Damn, I thought that Flandre serving food was Mystia at first.

>> No.7115384

>>7115378
I can believe that.

>> No.7115389

tewi's hair probably smells the worst

>> No.7115391
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7115391

>> No.7115422
File: 176 KB, 977x900, Replace Koa with any person you want in this scenario.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7115422

Scrub, scrub, scrub. The years of accumulated sweat grime comes off as you bring the brush to bear on her backside, bathwater discolouring further as the encrusted skin peels off in layers.

She squeals as you catch her arm roughly and pull it up, and her voice only grows in panic as you sniff the pungent stench. In disgust, you splash the industrial-strength soap on it, raking your fingers through the matted hair in hopes of salvaging it.

No good.

Without looking, you reach behind you and bring out the straight razor, your other hand pressing into the small of her back. Lady Patchouli struggles to keep her head above the water as you scrape the blade delicately along her quivering flesh, cutting away clumps of dirty stuck together hairclumps and dead skin alike.

You repeat the process, twice more. On the third, she does actually freeze up, trembling as the blade sweeps below and between her legs. As you return to scrubbing under your lady's breasts, you distantly note she's quivering in a different way as each bristle prickles along her sensitive skin.

Scrub, scrub, scrub

Finally, you lift her bodily out of the bath, the bathtub filled with a gruesome shade of black and brown, and bring the showerhead to bear, spraying her down with cleansing water. She flinches at the coldness, trying to cover herself up, but you will have none of it, casually pushing her down and splaying her limbs out to spray each and every crevice thoroughly - she's cold and wet and sobbing by the end of it. Finally, you shut off the water and hug her, the wet flesh sticking to your clothes as she gasps and shivers.

You sniff her. It seems this was a good start, but you figure that it'd take a few good scrubs like this to get her fully cleaned up.

Scrub, scrub, scrub.

>> No.7115638 [DELETED] 

QUAL­­­ITY THREAD

>> No.7117440

>>7115067
>scent of the flowers from her fresh detergeant.

Fuck, brb, I'm going to smell some detergent

>>
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