/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

You wake up in Gensokyo.

However, with the massive influx of Gensokyo-bound NEETS, the Fantasy Village is brimming with new faces.

All new arrivals must take up some kind of trade or apprenticeship with an established Touhou in order to earn their keep, or risk becoming a homeless fairy whom nobody respects, and is quite often killed casually by newcomers or careless shrine maidens.

Which of the Touhou Professions does /jp/ choose? Tengu reporter? Psychopomp? Gardener? Classroom teacher? Tinker? Tailor? Soldier? Spy? There are numerous professions, so choose with caution. Or does /jp/ prefer the unstable life of a nameless fairy?

It is assumed that lake-jumping is not a job.

[Anonymous No.]

What about maid raper?

[Anonymous No.]

If I work for the Tengu does that mean I become a Tengu?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7069687
Gardener apprentice under Youmu. I could have fun with her and try to seduce Yuyuko.

[Anonymous No.]

[X] Force my way back into the normal world through sheer will alone.
Why would I want to go to a terrible place like Gensokyo? I mean, no internet, no electricity, no modern comforts. Nothing that interest me at all.

[Yutanpo !1DeKKAi00Y No.]

NEET

[Anonymous No.]

I'll be a NEET and live off the welfare system.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd be a homeless fairy, because I want to hang out with a few fairies in particular and be free. I'd work to be such a great fairy that I would even get a name, starting the events of Touhou 13.825.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>7069692

>If I work for the Tengu does that mean I become a Tengu?

Yes. For example, if you apprentice under Keine, you yourself become a were-hakutaku, and so on.

>>7069693

>What about maid raper?

Yes, you can be a gate guard.

[Anonymous No.]

Become a house husband to one (or all) of the hags

[Anonymous No.]

>>7069717
>Yes. For example, if you apprentice under Keine, you yourself become a were-hakutaku, and so on.

Oh fuck. Faith gathering under Moriya Shrine it is.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7069717
>Yes. For example, if you apprentice under Keine, you yourself become a were-hakutaku, and so on.
I would become an immortal NEET with Kaguya.

[Anonymous No.]

I hate these threads.
They make me sad that I'm still not in Gensokyo.

[PRINNY !nLFbzB/0pw No.]

Medicine Peddler.

[Anonymous No.]

I do have pretty much all the required knowledge, and a bit of actual practical skills, so I could become an apprentice of a local blacksmith, if I had to find a job in the village. Cook would work as well.
But first I'd try to get hired as a butler in the SDM.
Fairy maids are useless, and Sakuya can't do everything herself, so I'm sure I'd have a chance.

[Anonymous No.]

I do not think it is possible to become a lunarian, but I'd be a chemist working under Eirin and aid her in her pharmaceutical practices.

She seems like a great boss and the co-workers are sure to be fun.

[Anonymous No.]

Weed Dealer

[Anonymous No.]

>>7069755

merchants wouldn't fare very well, there aren't enough cities for commerce to really kick in.

You might as well just be a farmer.

[Y10NRDY !kxh.1oTAkU No.]

Shrine custodian (read: janitor) studying under Reimu.

It's a given that she needs some relief. It's my hope that after a few years trading shifts we might develop some sort of camaraderie. Beyond that I'm really not certain.

[Saegrimr !SHIELDM.mE No.]

>>7069717
>If I work for the Tengu does that mean I become a Tengu?
>Yes.

Deal.

[Anonymous No.]

I would help around in the former hell of burning flames. Anything to be close to okuu. Im sure there is lots of work there. Bonus, no winter.

[Anonymous No.]

In ur skools

Teachin' ur calculus

[All day !jCOMomijIM No.]

>>7069755
Considered. I'll leave that to Eirin and Yuuka

>>7069692
If thats the case, I'm rolling Guard.

[Anonymous No.]

Anal rapist.
I could always try to evade whomever turns useless people into fairies, while trying to become more and more powerful through magic, until I can just "persuade" that person(s) into not messing with me.

[Adolf Hitler Loves !RUMIAxIXcU No.]

I got this.

In the beginning, I'll work at the Moriya Shrine doing simple jobs and such, live and train my danmaku skills at the Kazami residence, while having some time to be with Rumia.

Since Gensokyo doesn't seem to have any real form o government, establishing a totalitarian system shouldn't be too hard in the later stages, and it should be easy to instill jingoistic ideals into the people.

It's also a good thing that I always sleep with blueprints of factories and weapons. I'll somehow have to get Nitori on my side to help with erecting factories.

I sure hope Gensokyo has plenty of natural resources to exploit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7069850
Sorry, I forgot to add "or" before start of the second line. I know that having both would be too good.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd be a school teacher. I'm relatively intelligent and I enjoy helping people who want to learn. However, the real reason is so that I would have a good excuse to travel to a certain castle library and converse with a certain recluse, but beautiful, librarian.

[Adolf Hitler Loves !RUMIAxIXcU No.]

>>7069886
of*

[Anonymous No.]

>implying there is something wrong with being a transient fairy.

I'm an artist, I could contribute in that way. But come spring I'll do volunteer work as assistant herald of spring.

[Anonymous No.]

can i be the botanist
i don't want to be the gardener

[Anonymous No.]

The stranger with a big iron on his hip.

[Anonymous No.]

Can I become a wolf Tengu and work under Momiji?

I would enjoy being her manservant.

[Anonymous No.]

Youkai exterminator (in training)
I'd find a way into that secret group in the village planning on wiping out every youkai scumbag and their traitorous human sympathizers.

[Anonymous No.]

Train in physical skills while learning of how to defeat youkai. Become a guard to escort humans back and forth from the Hakurei Shrine to the Human Village. Get me a cozy home among the humans and go to some sort of night school taught by Keine. When I've gained enough skill in youkai extermination/magic, I would hire myself out as a quasi-assassin/hunter to high paying humans/youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

>Spy

Who, pray tell, would you spy for? Or on, even.

That said, is being Satori's pet a profession?
Or Koishi's playmate?

[Anonymous No.]

I'd study up on being a magician.

A gentleman thief of a magician.

[Anonymous No.]

Rinnosuke's assistant and gay lover.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7070408
>>7070434

I cannot comprehend why you would want to do this. With a chance to be a youkai, you could be something greater than a human. And if protecting humans is your thing, you could use your powers to protect humans from unjustified attacks. By actively hunting youkai, some of which who might not be considered very malevolent, you are no better than their worst sorts.

[Anonymous No.]

Darkness manipulator apprentice, please.

As this beautiful lump of darkness teaches me darkness manipulation and about having no goals in life, we, hopefully, will form a strong bond with each other. I will indeed do my best to satisfy her, and not put her to shame. On a nice day, we would take a break and roam around Gensokyo, laughing and playing, like the ones in my dreams, both lucid and non-lucid. We would probably mess with the shrine maiden, who might serve us tea, after beating us up of course. At night, she would rest in her private quarters, me sleeping on the apprentice room. As I roll around on my futon, trying to sleep, she would come in my room and complain about how cold the night is, asking me if I would like to sleep beside her, telling me a story about how a certain ice fairy told her that sleeping with another person will make you feel warm. Then, we would sleep comfortably in her room, hugging each other to reduce the coldness of the night.

After much practice, she would congratulate me for mastering the ways of the power of darkness saying that we should celebrate by calling our friends for a party. We do this and after cleaning up, I would man up and tell her that I love her, and maybe, just maybe, she would also be happy and accept my feelings, starting a new life with me by her side. It would be fine with me if she doesn't feel the same way about me, as long as I can still see that beautiful smile on her face.

I'm tearing up. This is why I tend to avoid these threads.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7070573

>After much practice, she would congratulate me for mastering the ways of the power of darkness saying "so nanoka~" and promptly colliding with a tree in most adorable fashion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7070590
I'd like to fix something on my previous post.
>After much practice, she would congratulate me for mastering the ways of the power of darkness and being a cushion when she collides with a tree...

[Anonymous No.]

>>7070599

What a horrible person you are. Pretending to be me.

[Anonymous No.]

I would become a clockmaker and eventually turn into a time youkai.

[SK No.]

I would choose Yukari Yakumo to be my master and teacher.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7070668
My apologies, I meant my post here: >>7070573

[Anonymous No.]

I would shamelessly whore myself to other minor female youkai.

Yeah, I said it.

[/jp/ Quality Control !QuALitynEc!!71Qz976UQ9q No.]

QUALITY THREAD­­

[Anonymous No.]

Be Yukari's servant.

[OMSK !OMSKxghFls No.]

I would create city of NovoOmsk in Gensokyo.

I always wanted to do it.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>7070457

>Who, pray tell, would you spy for? Or on, even.

Not a word. I'll tell you after I've completed my training with one of Gensokyo's spymistresses.

[Komeiji Koishi is my master !xIXo1SmYf2 No.]

Is being a pet and the gatekeeper of old hell a legit job?
I mean....there won't be many intruders so I'd probally just sit around all day until my master needs me

[Anonymous No.]

I would become a pimp and whore out Arcueid.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>7072161

Yes.

[Komeiji Koishi is my master !xIXo1SmYf2 No.]

>>7069812
Oh hey I guess we'll see each other every day then

[Necrobrotent No.]

The only things I'm good at don't exist in Gensokyo and the things I want to do with my life don't either so....

Well if we're going to go full retard. Might as well do it in style, Its not like touhou couldn't use a new chaos god.

[deleted !t6J79s1XL6 No.]

After much thought (And my mental health being checked by the master pharmacist of Gensokyou), I travel outward into the lands with a rake and a broom.

Doing odd jobs and working part time, I get to travel all around. Sweeping for minimum wage and cleaning up dung left by pesky youkai. It's a hard life, but it's a living.

I clean up many areas of Gensokyou, and am able to see the sights. Some sights are more plesant to look at than others. Various places require minor jobs of help e.g. Human Village, Chireiden, Hakugyokurou.

Slowly working my way up the social ladder, now almost everyone knows me to some degree. I still move about, but I have taken up residence in many places for a week or more. My masculinity is unmatched in areas outside the Human Village.

Sooner or later, I get AIDS from Yamame in a freak rape accident. Brought back to Eirin, I am put under treatment for 3 months. I end up having to pound mochi for the rabbit's offerings every month, and Reisen doesn't go easy at all.

After I am better, I live around Gensokyou much more carefully and living happily ever after. The End.

Alternate Story:
I go to work with Eiki-sama~ I keep track of the number of souls that she judges like an accountant, *cough*andsexobject*cough*

[Anonymous No.]

Apprentice engineer for Nitori.

[Anonymous No.]

I'll be one of the lowly maids at the SDM and hopefully I'll be able to serve tea and get a glimpse of my lovely master.

[Anonymous No.]

Psychic Surgeon. Taking advantage of the ignorant masses in the Human Village would probably be real easy.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd like to be a fairy with a home. Specifically, their home. I could be chief prank planner...Or something.

[Anonymous No.]

Satori has a reading room, I'm sure.

So I want to be her librarian.

[Anonymous No.]

Apprentice under the Yakumos.
Goodness knows Ran could use the help.

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>7069692

If you are a caucasian Westerner, chances are you become a tengu by default. Chances increase if you have any ancestry in Holland, France or California.

[Anonymous No.]

I'll become the fucking black smith of Gensokyo. Making fine swords all day.

[deleted !t6J79s1XL6 No.]

>>7072220
>France.
FFF yeah!

[Anonymous No.]

How would a human become a fairy anyway?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7072210
You want to be Satori's...Patchouli?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7072233
Yeah...I think this thread is bullshit, there ARE humans in Gensokyo

[Anonymous No.]

>>7072236
They're already compared together for their sisters, so it seems natural.
Plus, it's the ideal job. Food, shelter, books, all in exchange for keeping her library.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7072245
I'd love to see Satori's Patchouli, and become the librarian's assistant.

[Anonymous No.]

Can I become a yukkuri apprentice and learn how to take it easy?

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>7072238
>>7072233

We're operating under the assumption that, in response to the thousands of NEETS killing themselves and opening up Gensokyo Portals, Yukari has put into place an a Bureau Of Citizenship and Immigration to integrate the new arrivals successfully, so that there wouldn't be hordes of NEETs wandering around like gypsies.

The Bureau[which is run by which Touhou you feel should, I personally feel it's Shikieiki]either files your citizenship as a productive member of society after turning you into a little Touhou girl, with a job and appearance similar to that of the established Touhous, or turns your useless human frame into that of a random fairy, and dumps you on the banks of the Misty Lake.

You only go to the Bureau if you open up a portal[commit suicide, use arcane magic, physically rip holes in reality, etc]. If Yukari personally gaps you in, you retain your human form and the freedom to do whatever you want, including staying at the Human Village.

Game, set, match.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7072348
I'm an anarchist. I'll tear down that symbol of bureaucracy and then just kill Reimu.

[deleted !t6J79s1XL6 No.]

>>7072348
>If Yukari personally gaps you in
This waht happen à moi.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7072348
So you just made it some stupid roleplay bullshit.

[Necrobrotent No.]

>>7072383
It wasn't already stupid roleplay bullshit?

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>7072383

>So you just made it some stupid roleplay bullshit.

It was like that from the get-go, if you haven't already noticed.

>>7072375

You must be ZUN level before you can be Yukari-gapped in. Are you ZUN level? Do you have...the props?

[deleted !t6J79s1XL6 No.]

>>7072391
I have THE POWAH. (Read my story dmmt)

MY body is ready.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>7072398

>my body is ready

[PRINNY !nLFbzB/0pw No.]

>>7072391
>ZUN level
So I have to replace my blood with alcohol then I am in?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7072413
I'm already half way there!

Half way there!

Half way there!

[deleted !t6J79s1XL6 No.]

>>7072403
I said I WAS READY!

[Anonymous No.]

>>7072403

His hat always reminds me of a pancake...

Honestly, why would you want to be gapped in when you could be a youkai, fairy, magician, or other little girl. Why retain the useless human body of a grown man?

[ShrineSage !VoonmBZbSs No.]

Trip related

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>7073972

>Honestly, why would you want to be gapped in...

Some people love gaps.

[Necrobrotent No.]

>>7073972
It takes a man to kill a monster.

[Anonymous No.]

I choose Drunken Master
http://gensod20.host-ed.net/classes01.htm#drunken_master

[Necrobrotent No.]

>>7074390
But thats an actual d20 class....

why touhou?

[Anonymous No.]

>>7074396
The original d20 version doesn't let you fly around on a giant bottle of sake as a class feature.

[Necrobrotent No.]

>>7074402
Yeah but it was pretty well balanced and alot of fun to see in my games.

But I don't let my players be touhous.

[Anonymous No.]

Techpriest.

[mahou shoujo meduka !meguca4YtA No.]

Lake-jumping is not a job, it's a way of life.

[Anonymous No.]

I hate this thread because that has to be the gayest image of Rinnosuke I've ever seen.

[Anonymous No.]

>>7074437

She's so gay for all the girls

[Anonymous No.]

Emergency medical hologram.

[Anonymous No.]

..

[Anonymous No.]

>>7078072

This is not acceptable.

Your thread is not so sublime that it cannot be allowed to die once all interest in it has faded.

[Anonymous No.]

Necromancer!