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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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7020420 No.7020420 [Reply] [Original]

If you had no need to fear dying, what is the cheesiest pick-up line you would use on a Touhou?

Normal mode: pun related to the Touhou's ability?

>> No.7020444

"Let me insert my penis into your vagina."

>> No.7020442

Hey Mokou, how about we go over there and you let me get lost in your forest?

>> No.7020447
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7020447

How about you and me go try some fusion together

>> No.7020453 [DELETED] 

QUALITY THREAD

>> No.7020455

"Hey Cirno, let's be bakas together from now on~"

>> No.7020464

Alice, you must be a master puppeteer, because the mere thought of you tugs at my heartstrings.

>> No.7020473
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7020473

Hey Kanako, can I touch your mountains of faith?

>> No.7020474
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7020474

You seem to be stuck in a world full of pickles, wanna try my q cum bar?

>> No.7020475
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7020475

"Let's go to your place and I'll give you a night you'll never forget."

>> No.7020476

YUUKA WILL YOU LET ME WATER YOUR PETALS?

>> No.7020479

Sakuya, you're maid for me. I'd like to stop by your world sometime.

>> No.7020480
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7020480

>>7020453

>> No.7020484
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7020484

Those dresses look very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.

>> No.7020488
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7020488

You do know that with beauty such as yours, you are to die for

>> No.7020490

suika: why you look awful horny, care for a fuck?

>> No.7020486

>>7020480
Irony is not an excuse to be obnoxious

>> No.7020485
File: 179 KB, 850x680, Yuugi touhou.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7020485

"Hey honey, feelin' horny?"

>> No.7020494 [DELETED] 
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7020494

>>7020480

>> No.7020496
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7020496

That's a massively impressive first and second leg you got there, wanna say hello to my third leg?

>> No.7020497

Me: Hey, Tenshi, did it hurt?

Tenshi: Did what hurt?

Me: When you fell from heaven.

>> No.7020503

I heard you were looking for someone to master your spark

>> No.7020507

Sup Yuugi, I'll polish your horn if you polish mine

>> No.7020513
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7020513

I say, good day young lady! Jolly fine weather today, is it not?
Why I remember when I was but a wee lad it would rain heavily this time of the year, sad times it was.
Care for a jolly good rogering, shake the lands with the rythms of love and whatnot?

>> No.7020514

I'd love to shoot your hitbox with my danmaku, if you know what I mean.

>> No.7020516

>>7020494
I think Gero-tan is cute :)

>> No.7020519

I can give you something to report about, Aya.

>> No.7020522 [DELETED] 

>>7020516
> :)
Out.

>> No.7020524

Yukari - You've gapped your way into my heart!
Mokou - You light my world on fire, baby!
Medicine - Ah it's really true, love can be poisonous to people.
Koakuma - You really have stolen my soul, Koa....

>> No.7020531
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7020531

"Hey, you look pretty hot. How about I inject my cooling rod into you?"

>> No.7020532

Aya its seems that when I saw you I seem blowed away

>> No.7020535

>>7020480
The problem is, people in this thread don't appear to be being ironic.

>> No.7020537
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7020537

>>7020507
Alright

You go first.

>> No.7020541

>>7020442
>>7020447
>>7020464
>>7020474
>>7020497
i like these here

>> No.7020542
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7020542

You two seem to have an outrageously sexy pair of armpits, mind if I stick my dick inbetween?

>> No.7020548

>>7020480
>>7020486
Quality Control is a valued and loved member of /jp/ who provides a vital service.

>> No.7020549
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7020549

Would you like to see just how gutsy I can be?

I bet you're pretty gutsy, too.

>> No.7020553

Sanae do you want to make a miracle?

>> No.7020559 [DELETED] 

>>7020548
Please don't make this thread worse than it already is.

>> No.7020555

>>7020537
The only one that made me grin.

These lines are just awful.

>> No.7020562

>>7020555

That's the point. They're supposed to be awful.

>> No.7020563
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7020563

Wanna try another kind of meat?

>> No.7020567

>>7020453
Quality retardation.

Congratulations.

>> No.7020568
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7020568

moe cow ur pretty hot, wanna fuk? rofl

>> No.7020571 [DELETED] 

>>7020567
Anonymous never learn.

>> No.7020573

>>7020568
/thread

>> No.7020580

>>7020420
Requesting original of this image. No iqdb saucenao or tineye results.

>> No.7020585
File: 98 KB, 798x643, shitposting_ironic.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7020585

>>7020548

>> No.7020586

Hey Yukari do you want me in your gap?

>> No.7020592

Tewi and Reisen: "It's time we repopulate all of Gensokyo. In one spring we should have a surplus of over 500,000 lunar and earth rabbits."

>> No.7020596

>>7020568t
lol u tk him 2da lamprey cart|?

>> No.7020600
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7020600

Every time I look into your eyes I become even more crazy to love you.

>> No.7020605
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7020605

>>7020420

Yukari, my dick needs no dimension to get into your pussy, now let's fuck and coat your insides with my baby batter.

>> No.7020611 [DELETED] 

Hey Tewi, can I get lucky tonight?

>> No.7020610
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7020610

Master,today you look so lovely that I might get a heartattack!

>> No.7020613

>>7020420
Let us have a tea party together.

>> No.7020624
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7020624

Ever seen the lily of the valley?

Alternately: Are you an angel, cause you've got nice cans.

>> No.7020652

OP, I noticed that you only said "had no need to fear dying." You said nothing of the extreme pain.

>> No.7020661

I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T HAVE SEX WITH ME.

>> No.7020680

>>7020497
Tenshi: Yes

>> No.7020704

>>7020420
I am a Man.

>> No.7021854

Kogasa is that your umbrella, or are you just happy to see me?

>> No.7021902

Patchouli, are you good a reading? Cause you just made my want to open my heart to you.

Or we could just read in the same room, that'd be cool too

>> No.7022062

Mokou - Is it hot in here or is it just you?

>> No.7022131

See, most of these pick up lines have English puns. Touhous are inherently Japanese (regardless of how they look), they won't get the funny or sexual undertones you are throwing their way.

Like the last one I read about Mokou being "hot".
She won't get it.

>> No.7022132

"Sakuya-san, when I'm with you, time goes by flying. You are maid for me."

>> No.7022145

Tenshi, if you'll just give me a chance, I'll show you that I can make the earth shake even better than you can with your powers.

>> No.7022198

Hey Meiling, if you'll just crouch like a tiger for me, I'll show you my hidden dragon.

>> No.7022238

>>7021902
Reading in the same room as Patchy? I'm ok with this.

>> No.7022385

Sakuya, you must be playing some kind of trick on me, because time stops whenever I see you.

>> No.7022425
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7022425

Marisa I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm much to nervous to think of any clever puns, so please accept my confession!

>> No.7022439

>>7022238
I would read in Patchy's room
If you know what I mean

>> No.7022469

Is that the Great Wall of China or is it just my penis?

>> No.7022476

>>7021902
>>7022238
I'm debating writing a lengthy post about this that details you readings in the castle library with Patchy and slowly becoming friends, growing to love her and read closer to her. Eventually, you'd take Patchy on reading dates to the park, ocean, forest, moon, etc., and you'd just sit in silence, reveling in her presence. Then, when you finally have the courage, you confess your love to her a la the first anon's pickup line. That's when she opens her mouth and slowly states:

"I just wanted to be friends"

FRIENDZONED ;_;

>> No.7022508 [SPOILER] 
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7022508

>>7022476
I'd be ok with that
Until I'd realize if I cant have her, no one else can, and murder her. I'd hold her dead body in my hands and cuddle with her until heavy decay sets in.
I would then set up a complex suicide contraption that shoots me in the head, my body then falls in a coffin along with her, the door closes when my dead body lands, and dirt fills the hole perfectly. Our corpses would be forever together, and I would follow her spirit with mine for all of eternity.

>> No.7022555

>>7022508
>>7022476
I can't tell which part is more bittersweet - the fact that you are doomed (and blessed) to be confined to friendship with the one you love and adore most, or that you kill her so that you can follow her for eternity.

The fact that patchy is mai waifu nearly made me shed a tear. It may be best that you're friendzoned, though, since you can always try to work your way into her heart. Just imagine how beautiful the relationship would be if she DID end up loving you.

>> No.7022638 [DELETED] 

"hey Youmu would I have a ghost of a chance of going out with you"
I would precede to chuckle awkwardly
then I'd just stand there until I can no longer bear the awkward silence and walk off.

even in my dreams I suck.
and just walk off.

>> No.7022642

Hey Reimu, I've got a special donation for you.

>> No.7022654

"hey Youmu would I have a ghost of a chance of going out with you"
I would precede to chuckle awkwardly
then I'd just stand there until I can no longer bear the awkward silence and walk off.

even in my dreams I suck.

>> No.7022663

Wanna fill up those gaps?
>yukarin

>> No.7022724
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7022724

Marisa, I seem to have lost my precious thing. Could I have yours?

>> No.7022764

Damn, you guys suck.
Good thing we will never be able to enter Gensokyo, or you whole lot would be dead by now. I would be all alone on /jp/. ;_;
>>7022663
Guess whose gap will be filled with what after uttering that.

>> No.7022770

>>7022764
Ran's

>> No.7022784 [SPOILER] 
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7022784

>>7022770
Wrong.

>> No.7022804

>>7022784
well you can't say for sure that it isn't going into Ran.

>> No.7022812

>>7022804
Look closely around his crotch.

>> No.7022820

Iku - Looks like you got a FEVER. I better take your temperature. Bend over

>> No.7022834
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7022834

Dear god, this thread...

>> No.7022850

how come most of these so called pick-up lines involve sex?

>> No.7022856

>>7022850
Because /jp/ is depraved

>> No.7022862

>>7022856
ahhhh that makes alot sense

>> No.7022882

Hey reimu, I got some yens for you, open your coin purse.

Hey Patchouli, I got this cool new book, but I can't seem to understand it, can you help me out? It's called Kamasutra

>> No.7023076

"Suika-san I have a new drink you wanna try it? Here just suck on this straw"

>> No.7023422

If Cirno would like to date me, press ⑨.

>> No.7023438

>>7020474
Kyuuri-ous?

>> No.7023446

My lap

Anything that comes up

Final Destination: What are we going to do on the bed?

>> No.7023456

>>7020600
You're a-Reisen my heart rate.
*hit by a brick*
Ow!

>> No.7023470

>>7020474
I have a snack for you.
It's your favorite food.
No, not cucumbers. The other one.

>> No.7023475
File: 933 KB, 1050x1400, Touhou Lily Amorous.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7023475

I'd merely ask Lily if she was "selling spring" - a term the japs apparently use for soliciting prostitution...

>> No.7023915

>>7023475
Clever.

>>
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