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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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File: 52 KB, 640x480, me in the morning.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7005201 No.7005201 [Reply] [Original]

I want a big brother! this isnt a troll i just want someone to be a big brother/friend to me.....Please be nice...i dont post often but ill list things i like.
Touhou, Drawing, sleeping, drawing ecchi stuff, and cuddles.. Pic related, its me.

>> No.7005209


>too old imouto for anyone here anyway

>> No.7005210

God /jp/ is awful tonight.

>> No.7005211

That depends on how big your penis is

>> No.7005215

oh im sorry then.....

>> No.7005216


>> No.7005220

>> No.7005221


>> No.7005223

Anyone wanna make the too old joke or should I take this one

>> No.7005224

here's the mail it never fails it makes me wanna wag my tail when it comes i wanna wail MMMAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL

>> No.7005225

no need to make the too old joke, self esteem is already crushed.

>> No.7005229

Good. Now delete your thread.

>> No.7005232

hey kittles how are you?
omg is the blue hair real? do you know hatsune miku? XD
did you know that onii-chan means big brother in japanese?

>> No.7005233

Doing it anyway.

Too uh... heh heh... how do I say this... blah haha-- too old!

*wipes a tear away* Yeah, that's the good shit.

>> No.7005234

OP if you want a friend make a temporary IM account and post your contact info..just be careful.

>> No.7005237

Are we being raided again ? I'm seeing a lot of shitty thread right now, or at least even shittier than usual.
Well I was going to sleep anyway, just gonna report all that shit like the good /jp/ citizen I am.

>> No.7005243

I would cuddles you

I would cuddles anything ;_;

>> No.7005244

Hey Kettles, post your email address. I'll talk to ya if these chumps won't xD

>> No.7005245

i wanted to say oni-chan, but i was afraid someone would make fun of me... and ill just say im younger then you guys think, im below 18. And i cosplay hatsune miku.>>7005232
thanks for being kind

>> No.7005251

You look just like my sister. such is life.

>> No.7005254
File: 52 KB, 640x480, miku cosplay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

feel free to troll, too.

>> No.7005255

Cool. So how big's that dick?

>> No.7005265

Too lewd.

>> No.7005267

I have no dick. Sorry to break hearts.

>> No.7005271


>> No.7005272


>> No.7005273

Delete this thread stay the fuck away from /jp/ it's for your own good.

>> No.7005274
File: 54 KB, 640x480, miku cosplay2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

theres a non perverted one.

>> No.7005277
File: 242 KB, 542x741, 4128733.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

This is almost heart-warming

But alas, I cannot place any attachment for fear that it is a troll. ;_;

>> No.7005284

Don't you fucking lie to me

>> No.7005285

what can i do to prove im not a troll? i dont have a camera....

>> No.7005286

I'm inclined to agree with this one, /jp/ would not be the best place to choose a surrogate older brother...

>> No.7005293

long as i get a wincest end later, i'll do it

>> No.7005297

I am not outright saying you're a troll at all, there's nothing to worry about there.

what? I fail to see what I said that was a lie.

>> No.7005299

This is a good thread.

>> No.7005301

There are no mods but I must report.

>> No.7005303

>i dont have a camera....

comeon ... at least troll better. i mean it is not like there are 3 pics of the girl in this thread.

>> No.7005306

Find a camera and take a picture of your dick to prove that you aren't a troll.

>> No.7005307

Oh no! A girl is in the clubhouse!



an angry femanon

(Grow the fuck up)

>> No.7005309

You don't have a camera, yet you can take pics of yourself in a wig to post em here somehow. Gb2 /under a bridge/ troll.

>> No.7005315

why would i troll the people i like? and to drag it out this far... id be a stupid troll

>> No.7005322

Jesus christ why are you fucks even replying to this shit ?
Just report and move along for god's sake.

>> No.7005323

How old are you?

>> No.7005329

fine, report. i used to have a webcam on my last cmoputer that broke, the pictures are a year old.

>> No.7005333


wheres your sage, faggot

>> No.7005334
File: 133 KB, 1569x684, Untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You can thank me later guys.

>> No.7005339

lol it's not a succesful troll thread if you're the only one replying.
You've been reported as you intended, now get out.

>> No.7005340
File: 3 KB, 297x19, stealth sage.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Right here, notice how my post doesn't bump the thread.

>> No.7005343

how do I got comic sans in box???

>> No.7005344

Heya Kittles. I'm here for you if you need me, remember that!

>> No.7005347
File: 105 KB, 540x771, nrp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


a little girl saying she likes all the same things /jp/ likes and says she wants to be the same object /jp/-ers fantasize in many ways, sounds too good to be true, and thus subject to scrutiny.

>> No.7005348

>implying you don't have a cell phone or any other type of camera

>> No.7005360

i sorta like being what a lot of otakus like. i dont like k-on though.....Ive based my existence on appealing to this culture.

>> No.7005362
File: 210 KB, 688x885, foru..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Best comment in the thread.

Picture is for you, from a male anonymous.

>> No.7005365

Only true internet aficionados know the secrets of comic sans. I do not think you are ready to know just yet.

I will give you the link to the test board for comic sans, please use it wisely, maybe someday you will see the light


>> No.7005366

Not everyone in this world has a cell or camera sadly. Your talking to the person who has neither due to unforeseen circumstance. Give her a break, I can attest to her non-trollingness.

>> No.7005367

i dont have a cellphone, im poor.

>> No.7005379
File: 23 KB, 639x359, ^.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>mwf /fk/ direct linking doesn't work

>> No.7005390

I'll be your brother if you learn how to spell correctly and use proper grammar.

>> No.7005392


If you were able to afford that outfit and some of the other stuff I see in these pictures you could certainly get a cheap phone.

>> No.7005393

I fail to see where k-on comes into this, i mean, I don't like it either...but that was rather out of nowhere

>> No.7005395
File: 23 KB, 250x400, 17843.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anon, don't be silly, /jp/ is full of the most loving people around. Imagine all the pent up love, the altruistic desire to gift someone with the comfort that anon never had.

Alas, I don't blame anon for being too insecure to believe OP is real and not a troll, you've been hurt enough times by lies, right? It's hard to commit out of fear that you'll be let down again. But that's okay anon, it's to be expected and there's nothing wrong with that.

I love you /jp/

>> No.7005400

who in the tits are you

>> No.7005402

I'll do my best!

>> No.7005403

>OP's Face

>> No.7005407

If you're over 11 that's a no go.

>> No.7005411

>i dont like k-on though
girls like keion though. you arent girl

>> No.7005414

I might, MIGHT, have believe that until
The "I'm poor" argument isn't very good. And as
pointed out, there's no way you can't afford a cheap phone. How the hell did you take those pictures anyways if you don't have a camera?

>> No.7005416

I don't have either because what would I have to take pictures of and answering the phone scares me and it's not like I'd have anyone to call. So awkward having to tell normals you don't have a phone.

>> No.7005417

Ever heard of a gift? Cause I certainly recall seeing her open this as a present..

>> No.7005421

wow, i thought she was real until your insightful posting. thank.

>> No.7005424

as ive said, these are a year old. and i waited so long to save up that fucking money for what i have.

>> No.7005428

Is your email an MSN account too,
or just email? I tried both, but haven't gotten a response via MSN, so...

>> No.7005432

just email, and i have an aim, whenyoubinge.

>> No.7005433

Did she not just point out that the computer with a webcam installed broke? [such as my lenovo s10e, which DOES have a camera] vs a regular older computer, which often don't, which is what she's using, since she needed a new computer, and could barely afford it. Hence, the lack of phone. phone bills -> computer money.

>> No.7005434

I have money... BTW, how old are you?

>> No.7005437

>68 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

What the fuck /jp/ ? What the fuck ?

>> No.7005439

someone doesn't know what a prepaid phone is, do they.

>> No.7005440


It doesn't matter if you are a troll or not.... What I do find hilarious is that you're interacting with a bunch of people that Harry S. Plinkett material..

Troll or not, I'd be happy to be your big brother, father, or anything else you'd like... But you'd have to let me educate you.

>> No.7005441

OP won't say how old she is, so must be TOO OLD.

>> No.7005444

You do not enjoy these activities. your only reason for associating with them, is that it makes it simpler for you to reach males. You'd try anything as long as you could find a male to complete your worthlessness in life.

There are many female anonymous posters on /jp/, yet they do not feel the need to cry for attention as you do here. You are the typical 3DP.


If the janitor or moderator cleaning up this morning has any sense of duty, he will forward you to a permanent ban. I am ashamed to share the board with the lot of you feeding her primal urge for attention. Seems all that is left on this board are normals.

>> No.7005446

exemplar posting itt actually. good read.

>> No.7005447

Let this guy be your creepy uncle. He's got lots of money from his onion smuggling operation.

>> No.7005448

someone else obviously doesn't know that when your poor, even 40 dollars for a good one month plan makes a HUGE difference.

>> No.7005449
File: 249 KB, 910x1200, kidnapped.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

/jp/ meet up

>> No.7005450
File: 27 KB, 400x400, 1275792754161.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Even if in the end it is a troll, it has been a good session, letting me imagine having a little sister I could relate to ;_;

>> No.7005452

/jp/ers would make terrible... oniichans because we can't even take care of ourselves, let alone other people (and a girl most of all)

also, you seem to have the wrong impression. Whether attention whores are legit or not is not the issue. God forbid she takes a picture with "<3 /jp XD XD" and the date written on it, the shit storm that would inssue. I simply would prefer that it is some some with pictures of his girlfriend or whatever trying to mess with me, because then who would give a fuck.

If you seriously are some lonely girl, please don't take this the wrong way and just leave. There is no possible way happiness will come from here. I'm sure there's a million guys that would love to hang out/fuck you whatever you want.

>> No.7005453


Now, now Mugen.... you have a wife and kid.

>> No.7005456
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>> No.7005460

No really, there are phones you can get for $20 with a bit of time on them already, no monthly plans, no contracts, look it up.

>> No.7005462 [SPOILER] 
File: 1.06 MB, 1000x1399, 12934576991.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.7005464

I wish /r9k/ was still around to contain desperate beta faggots like this guy.

>> No.7005465

too fat

>> No.7005468


Lots of money is an understatement...Onion smuggling? I thought it was printer ink.

>> No.7005469

Dear lord, and we say RP threads are bad?

>> No.7005470

good point. this bad thread means they are good.

>> No.7005471

It's all a front for his onion smuggling cartel.

>> No.7005472

im 15. go ahead and delete me.

>> No.7005473
File: 25 KB, 600x500, 1280308025489.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Oh anon, I'm hurt, truly

In all honesty, I could be completely alone and still be perfectly fine with it, imagining things are just forms of entertainment.

>> No.7005474

More pictures please

>> No.7005476

Someone still doesn't know what a prepaid phone is.

>> No.7005477


>> No.7005481

Note here, those plans often have a bad phone included in them. Now, I also never said the word "contract." I DO recall saying "one month plan" though. one month plan cannot equal a contract. Not sure how/where you got that idea from.

>> No.7005484

...Well, 15 isn't TOO too old

>> No.7005486

I already have an imouto~ sorry.

>> No.7005487

and you need a good phone? the heck would you need one for, any phone today has a 1.5mp camera AT LEAST, and there's no plans, you dont even have to use a name or sign up to anything for fuck's sake.

>> No.7005488
File: 110 KB, 600x600, 27b65db57809649d7f68ba106625c8fa.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>99 posts and 14 image replies omitted.

>> No.7005489


Yeah, only one foot in the grave.

>> No.7005495
File: 353 KB, 1079x1500, 8d1efd3f9c77537cbdcb41c66b5ed2db.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I really hope kittles is a troll, otherwise I'm seriously disappointed. Actually, I'm disappointed either way. Take this to >>>/soc/

>> No.7005496

3D will never fullfill whatever things you're imaginning, even if you got yourself someone it wouldn't result in anything but disapointment since nothing can live up to the perfection that is 2D.
So stop fueling some random attention whore with what s/he's craving and embrace the omega male path, it will make your life better.

>> No.7005500

They're already too loose at that age.

>> No.7005501

and thus why I'm imagining rather than agonizing over not having a little sister.

>> No.7005512

Isn't that because anon is dissatisfied with life, maybe even hates themselves? It's a passive attempt to reach gensokyo. I'm sure if anon loved someone then they'd do anything for them, not that I'm proposing /jp/ should love OP.

>> No.7005514


Agreed... It's like throwing a dildo down a hallway.

>> No.7005516


>> No.7005518

If I were to have an imouto I would want to be able to hang out with them, but you probably live nowhere near me so I'll pass.

>> No.7005523

It's not hot if the imouto isn't blood related and over 10 years old.

>> No.7005525

This reminds me of an article I read somewhere that says otaku would make good boyfriends, it was rather amusing to read.

>> No.7005535


Delete isn't the word I was thinking...........

>> No.7005552

Oh but that's a gross misrepresentation, I don't like the sound of that at all. That might include /a/ and /m/, they're not cute. Not cute at all. /jp/ is mostly full of better people than that, excluding the normals.

>> No.7005553
File: 190 KB, 774x600, 1282677603364.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>113 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

>> No.7005556

Anyway, im still here reading your comments. if anymore want to chat or see if im real, just find my AIIM and gmail in the thread.

>> No.7005560

That's just like your opinion, man.

>> No.7005567
File: 94 KB, 600x450, absolutely_disgusting.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Reported. Every last one of you.

>> No.7005570
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>> No.7005571

night time /jp/ is the best /jp/


>> No.7005573

Don't you have a little sister or something, it's really hard for us pedophiles to find someone you know.

>> No.7005574

How observant!

>> No.7005576
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>> No.7005578
File: 14 KB, 500x500, 31J6niZBe4L._SS500_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


Sorry, my sister has to be able to handle this, and I really don't think you're up for it.

>> No.7005580
File: 190 KB, 909x768, 16907954.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.7005581

You must be new

>> No.7005582

Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.

Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"

You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.

Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.

But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.

>> No.7005584

Can't love someone else if you don't love yourself. Or at least learn to like/tolerate yourself. If then, we would be overbearing and scare most people away. It would only work for girls that want a submissive husband, but that would just be another kind of hell.

>> No.7005588

What about IRC?

>> No.7005589
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>> No.7005591


Do you really think we're that stupid?

>> No.7005596
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>> No.7005598

what the HELL crawled up your ass?

>> No.7005602

My printer broke a couple of weeks ago. I didn't think much about it but finally I took it in to Geek Squad to have them fix it. They said it would take about a half hour so I left. When I got back the police were there. I'd forgotten that in the print queue were Naruto comics. It printed out a page from Naruto while I was gone and they'd seen it and called the police. So I said screw it and just left the printer there. What do I do now? Do they know it was me? What if the police show up at my house? Everyone would know I was reading Naruto? Oh god, should I destroy my harddrive?

Help me! Oh god, I don't know what to do!

>> No.7005603


>> No.7005604

Welcome to 4chan.

>> No.7005605

>I want a big brother!
But who says we want you as a little sibling?

>> No.7005606


>Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey.

Yeah, everyone knows femininity travels via token ring.

>> No.7005609

can't get laid

>> No.7005614

Disegard that I suck cocks :p xD

>> No.7005616

I like to cut a holes in my jeans around the inner leg area and I like to do the old "sat on a gum trick" near my waifu that happens to be a Japanese exchange student that looks like a 3D version of Fuuka.

It goes like this, during class I yell out "Aww shit I sat in gum!!" and start pulling the skin of my sack out the hole. They've never noticed that it's actually my sack, hahaha.

She always tells me to be more careful and to look where I sit but she has no idea, poor 3D Fuuka.

>> No.7005617

I disagree, but I respect your opinion and I think I might have thought the same before, I certainly remember the idea, but I think I was just using it as an excuse for a relationship that failed almost before it got off the ground.

>> No.7005619
File: 221 KB, 550x650, 16878006.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.7005620

no, that's masculinity
femininity travels over 802.11

>> No.7005622

that's a copypasta.

>> No.7005623

I have a harness system with ceiling-bolted pulleys and a quick-release cable (got some inspiration from Mythbusters lol).

It sounds like a big production, but trust me it is not complicated. Just step into the harness, snap two buckles, sit on the toilet as normal, then give a few pulls to hoist yourself comfortably 4-6" from the toilet. You're in a normal sitting position, just kind of "levitating" above the bowl.

Anyway you just kind of push and as soon as it starts to poke out, you pull the quick release and you drop right onto the toilet seat, but gravity causes your poop to keep going. The extra momentum basically "pulls" your poops right out of you with kind of a vacuum sensation (you feel really empty and clean afterwards). The difference is like brushing your teeth at home vs. getting a dental cleaning.

This is how you shit like an alpha male. One warning though, 4-6" is the max I would try. I was being retarded and showing off for a Youtube demo, and I tried simulating from 1-2 feet off the bowl. I busted my ass so hard that I passed out and woke up on my cold tile floor all stiff and bruised.

>> No.7005627

That one was pretty stupid. Next.

>> No.7005628

That's not me by the way... Stop using the name...

>> No.7005629

THIS IS /jp/

>> No.7005630
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>> No.7005631

Try posting in this board. not trolling, they'll be all over you


>> No.7005635 [DELETED] 
File: 290 KB, 1067x1600, 37.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

You could always train her.

>> No.7005636

You seem frustrated.

>> No.7005637
File: 618 KB, 735x921, 16794053.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.7005638

So there I was in Little Ceasars getting some crazy bread and cheese sauce, when I look over at my girlfriend who's sitting down, apparently unphased by how much her shirt is hanging down and how much her titties are showing.

"Jesus christ, cover your tits up."
"I can do what I want."

Upon hearing this, the giant negra in line next to me turns to face me, makes eye contact, turns to look my girlfriend in the face, lowers her gaze to her tits, looks back at her face, looks towards me, I smile and nod, and he goes back to ordering.

She got offended I didn't do anything but hey, fuck that. I'll share.

>> No.7005640

I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.
Anyways, I began to play Final Fantasy 4 about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the game, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last fight.
Then I played the game again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Rydia every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Rydia.
I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Rydia. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Rydia everywhere.
I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Rydia dolls.. Rydia is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.
I'm in love with Rydia. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Rydia. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.
So, this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Rydia break free from behind her glass prison.
Please help! She's my perfect girl, and she's longing for me as much as I long for her.

>> No.7005641
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>> No.7005644


You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

>> No.7005645
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>> No.7005646
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>> No.7005647

When are they going to remove all those boards?
There's like 5 posts a day, it doesn't need so many sections.

>> No.7005648

We can have lots of fun okay? You, me, shower? :D???????????????????????????????????????? We can make sweet sweet fun togetherrrr i like touhou too, reading ecchi for the story, and cuddling with sisters.

>> No.7005649
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>> No.7005651

My face is covered in deep rooted acne that can only be cured with surgery, or a very thick needle. Working as the special worker at McDonald's does not pay very well so I tried to needle the zits out, now I have zits and scars on my face. The rest of my body is hair and acne, I have to cover my bed in talcum powder so I can keep away the pain long enough to pass out from exhaustion.

I am fully deaf in one ear and I can only hear a high pitched whine in the other ear. I can only see the colors red, orange, and yellow. Having no tounge I have never tasted food. My nose is so full of snot and other assorted crap that I am also unable to smell.

The only time I ever interact with people outside of work and the forums is going down to the local game store where I buy used copies of 5 year old games because I only make minimum wage.

This account was given to me out of pity, and I am only able to access it at the library. I'm fairly sure nobody goes near me at the library because I have not been able to shower for the last three years of my life.

The only joy I have in life is pretending to be other people.

Are you trying to tell me YOUR life is worse than mine? Well fuck you and the elephant that trumpeted you in to this place.

>> No.7005656
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>> No.7005662


>> No.7005672
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3d pig disgusting