Why there aren't Touhou Pastas?

[Anonymous No.]

Maybe because Gensokyo lolis are fucking moe?

[Anonymous No.]

I'd eat touhou shaped pasta.

[Anonymous No.]

I want Cirno shaped popsicles

[Anonymous No.]

Because making pasta with frills sounds like bullshit. Entirely too much goddamn work.

[Anonymous No.]

I want touhou shaped caffeine pills, for those long hours of danmaku dodging.

[Anonymous No.]

Make Touhou shaped alcoholic drinks.

[Anonymous No.]

You put your arm around Aya's waist as she kicks off her shoes and sits in your lap. She says nothing as she leans in and kisses you. She tosses her camera off to the side and wraps her arms around you.

Your run your other hand up her leg, under her skirt, and rest it on her upper thigh. She breaks off the kiss and blushes. "W-What are you doing?" she asks. Straining to keep her from noticing your rapidly growing erection, you blurt out something stupid and immediately cringe in embarrassment.

Unfazed, she kisses you again, your tongues locking in a deep embrace. Out of nowhere, you feel Aya's chest heave ever so slightly. She lets out a noise that sounds vaguely like gagging, and then a warm, thick fluid trickles into your mouth. Surprised at first, you try to break away from her kiss, but she holds the back of your head and continues to let the fluid flow into your mouth. Sickened and expecting it to taste like vomit, you are pleasantly surprised when it tastes like melted chocolate. You tentatively swallow some of it, and Aya pushes even more of it into your mouth with her tongue. Continuing to kiss her, you swallow more and more of the chocolate, and Aya moans with growing excitement.

After you've consumed all of it, she pulls away and giggles. "No human has ever let me feed them like that before..." She reaches down into your pants and tugs on your erect dick. "I suppose I should finish what I've started here, hmm?"

[Anonymous No.]

>>6855170
I guess you want liquid chocolate in an Aya Shameimaru shaped squeeze bottle?

[Nitori's Faceless !FRIENDgj1s No.]

Hi! My name is Sakuya and I want to tell you a story!

I joined Alice, Reimu and Marisa on their adventure to Japan! We all wanted to see what a dick looked like because we had never seen one. We heard they were very hard, so we had some pads to protect us.

We all got into a small, poorly made, Japanese vehicle and started to drive downtown. We saw a weird midget and a really big faggot! It almost yelled at us, but Reimu made the car move faster. Whew, that was close! We passed by a bar full of gay men. It was very FABULOUS!

After we made it to Akihabara , Reimu spotted a penis. It was very big and hard, just like our friends said. Good thing we had lots of condoms with us! The penis swarmed right at us and he penetrated our vaginas! I was sure we were done for, but then Marisa said she would go talk to the dick.

"Hi there Mr. Dick. You penetrated our vaginas! Why would you do such a thing?"

The prick didn't want to talk to Marisa. He raped her, and it looked like he was going to cum in her! But never fear, because Alice, Reimu and I went out to save her! We brought some condoms with us. They threw the condoms at the penis, and it started to throb. It let go of Marisa, and we all got back into the car. When I told my friends at Scarlet Devil Mansion what happened, they didn't believe me.

"You're lying, Sakuya! There is no dick big enough to do that! I'll go down and see it for myself!"

But that's ANOTHER story! The end.

[Anonymous No.]

There are some Touhou Love Stories with Bad Ends in the Touhou Wiki, they're scary:

The Story: You finally decided to confess to that lovely shrine maiden who paid a visit to village every week. She seemed somewhat uninterested and calmly said to you:"Well, I accept. Why not? That makes you my boyfriend now. Now there are things I want other than you hanging around all day. You know what? I WANT MONIES, THE LOTS OF THEM, AND I WANT THEM NOW! You are gonna work hard from now on, because you know what? If I don't receive the money I need everyday, next time when I come, I may be sad and WON'T BOTHER LETTING YOU LIVE YOU MOTHERFUCKER! WTF ARE YOU WAITING NOW, FUCK OFF AND EARN SOME FUCKING MONIES RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!"

The End: You worked 24/7 since that fateful day, and died one week after your confession due to exhaustion.

[Anonymous No.]

She exhales a havey breath....steamy, hot with the scent of sake riding on it. Her hair has fallen down framing the sides her face with gold slightly all the while tickling your face.....

A deeply unpleasant croak rises from her stomach and escapes her her luscious red lips, a trickle of bile spills out from her mouth as the effects of excess exert it's toll on her body. You try to writhe your way from under her but her oppressive weight pins you down, even as her eyes glaze over drunkenly while convulsions wrack her belly.

Over and over she heaves "HURK HURK HURK" as her svelte form clenches and squeezes the poison out from her, frantic you kick and yelp trying to get away from the inevitable but you are far too weak to resist and she too far gone to notice you there anymore.

With one more guttural sound she heaves out her guts onto your cringing face, pungent and hot acids sting your eyes painfully. Torrents of rejected sake, half digested food and gastric lining wash your face in great shuddering tides punctuated with coughs and sobs. You open your mouth to scream and are rewarded with the indescribably foul taste of her issue, trapped under her frame as you are you are forced to endure unable to spit it out (for fear of catching a fresh batch) and unwilling to swallow it.

Your hair caked, your lips sticky, the bedsheets sodden, the pillow saturated, even your ears trickle with a sample of Yuugi's puke. With one final splurt she spits out a chunk of stomach lining onto your cheek, then passes out into unconsciousness still clinging to you. Tears of misery cut two clean lines through the mess on your face, it's days like this you regret your choice in waifus.

[Anonymous No.]

There are plenty of touhou pastas.

The best ones are the diaper ones.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6855189
...what? All this story lacks is "the I woke up, everyone is bear".

[Nitori's Faceless !FRIENDgj1s No.]

You are now imagining her licking your fingertips ever so seductively, nibbling little by little at your skin. She sucks your finger a little longer, savoring you. You smile and place your hand on her head. Just as you do this, she shoots a smile back at you, only you can actually sense the malice behind hers that is not present in yours. She sucks harder, licks more furiously and her teeth sink down further and further.

Tighter, tighter, tighter. Her mouth closes around your finger gradually. You feel her teeth begin to pierce through your skin, her tongue wrapping around to catch the blood trickling slowly from the opening she makes.

Pleasure turns to pain. You begin to feel your finger tearing apart. When you feel as if you can't take it anymore, you hear it, the one defining sound that tells you she's done playing with her meal. The crunching of bone inside her mouth. Your mind takes a second to realize how much pain you're in. You scream at the top of your lungs and attempt to pull out, but she keeps hr firm grip on you. You've pulled out slightly, enough to spray her face with your bodily fluids. For a second, she doesn't resist, and smiles, scooping up your nectar with her free and and giving it a taste. She puts you back into her mouth and sucks even more furiously, as you let out a stream into her mouth that doesn't seem to be ending. You try to hold it back, but it won't stop flooding into her.

[Anonymous No.]

"These hands of mine glow with an awesome power! It's burning grip tells me to defeat you! So take this! My love! My anger! And all of my sorrow! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

You can feel it, you can feel the energy as it fills your body! With just a little more effort you could release it all!

"Wha-! How did he get so powerful?" Marisa looks panicked, what started out as a game has suddenly become an awakening of some kind of latent talent in you.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" NOTHING RAISES YOUR POWER LEVEL LIKE SCREAMING!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

THIS IS IT! YOU CAN FEEL IT! IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN! A STREAM OF PISS ESCAPES YOUR BLADDER AS THE INTENSE STRAIN CLENCHES EVERY MUSCLE!
"I HOPE MY BODY CAN TAKE IT!"
AS IF IN RESPONSE YOUR BOWELS RELEASE THEIR HEFTY LOAD AS YOU SHIT A TORRENT OF CRAP INTO YOUR UNDERWEAR, YOUR WASTE BEGINS TO LEAK OUT OF YOUR TROUSERS AND FORMS A STINKING POOL BY YOUR FEET!

Marisa's spell ends and you are left soaked in piss and caked in shit squatting in front of her with an intense expression on her face......

[Nitori's Faceless !FRIENDgj1s No.]

As you try to resist again, she forces you down to the ground and presses her body weight against you to pin you down. She continues her meal, moving further down your hand, eating little by little. The pain is unbearable, but it's far too late to turn back now. You are at her mercy, as she eats you little by little, finding pleasure in your twisted facial expression and moans of agony. In the midst of your painful ordeal, you feel something else, something down in your nether regions. You can't look down, you dare not even look anywhere below your neck right now, but you can certainly feel something. You realize what it is as you try to focus on it, and it's enough for you to face your fear and actually look down for clarification.

There she is, eyes closed, now up to your elbow sucking you dry with her closed eyes. You look down further and see her wildly grinding her hips, dry humping you as she bites down. She opens her left eye halfway, as if sensing that you've realized what she was doing. Her smile widens, she pulls you out of her mouth and moves her face up to yours. Paralyzed with a mixture of fear and excitement, you're too stunned to realize that she's just pressed her lips, stained with your blood, against your own. Her tongue slides past your lips easily, and intertwines with your own. Her lower body moves more furiously. She presses her crotch down harder on yours. As you proceed to slide your tongue into her mouth to return the kiss you realize it was a trap a moment too late. Her teeth snap down on your tongue like a bear trap. You attempt to pull away, but she holds your head in place with both hands. Ripping, tearing, pain. She's now chewing your tongue, sucking the stump of flesh in your mouth.

[Nitori's Faceless !FRIENDgj1s No.]

You can't scream anymore. You try, but nothing comes out. You try to flail around and push her off you, but she's got you pinned. She pulls her face away from yours after swallowing your tongue, and licks the blood off her lips. She slides one of her hands down your chest, making her way to your trousers and slowly removes them just enough to pull your member out. She holds you down onto the floor with her right hand as she pulls her skirt up. From your angle, you're only able to catch a glimpse of her thigh, but she's pulled her skirt up enough for your member to be hidden under it as well. She presses down slowly. You cannot see what's going on under her skirt, but you feel a warm, moist opening engulfing you. Little by little, she inches her way down. Finally, you feel the warmth wrap around your member from the base up. The hand that was holding you down on the floor moves up to your neck. You consciously take a big gulp, but cannot resist anymore when you feel her hand clamp around your throat. Pain screams from multiple points of your body, but the somewhere mixed in with this pain is pleasure. Your wind pipe is being crushes, your vision fades ever so slowly. She rocks her hips ferociously, her head is cocked back, mouth wide open, but you can no longer hear anything coming from those lips. Your vision completely darkens. In the darkness your body feels weightless. The pain is no longer there, you only feel pleasure. You were blessed enough to receive your final orgasm before your slumber.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6855132
because most of /jp/ never was interested in touhou. they just browse nude pictures or write autistic stories how touhous should be their waifus.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6855317
passerby here, so how does /jp/ get the grasp of touhou's character to develop their love and call them waifus? Is it based on depictions of doujins?

[All day !jCOMomijIM No.]

>>6855260
>You were blessed enough to receive your final orgasm before your slumber.

Loved that ending.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6855408
this + their autism
i dont think they need anything else than name+how she looks to have autistic dreams of raping her ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

bump

[Anonymous No.]

>>6855202
Hmm, sounds interesting