/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Choose one of the following:

-You go to Gensokyo and become a stage 1 boss. Reimu kicks your ass but then you're free to play around with Cirno and Rumia and will never have to work in your near-eternal life.

-You go to Gensokyo and become a powerful youkai. You will live just a few thousand years, but if you work hard you can have wealth and power. When you die you will spend ages in hell, elligible for parole based on how hard you worked in life.

-You go to Makai to train and become a legendary magician. Sariel will keep you imprisoned there until you are strong enough to escape, which will be a very long time of suffering and unpleasantness. After this point you can go wherever you please, but the world will be a very different place.

-You become a lunarian and serve as an officer in their defense force. You will see comforts and technologies like nothing ever imagined on earth, but you will have Yorihime constantly ordering you around and shouting at you worse than Full Metal Jacket.

-Things stay just the way they are for you now, either you find your own way to better your life or you don't. Grow old and die in a few decades.

[Anonymous No.]

Humans dont become yokai.

I go to Gensokyo and become the greatest mass rapist in all the plains. Devils will wear underwear with my name on it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395366
Confirmed for ⑨.

Nearly anything can become youkai based on longevity and power.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395367
Confirmed for secondary.

[Anonymous No.]

option E. Work as a public defender in Hell

[Anonymous No.]

-You go to Moriya shrine and join the multitude of men dumping their cum on/inside the promiscuous green-haired resident shrine maiden.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395367
Not humans. Humans have to be turned in to youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395366
Yes they do.

Human -> Half-ghost
Human -> Vampire
Human -> Ghost
Human -> Magician (See Alice. Marisa is on her way)
Human -> Hermit(?)

[Anonymous No.]

>You become a lunarian and serve as an officer in their defense force. You will see comforts and technologies like nothing ever imagined on earth, but you will have Yorihime constantly ordering you around and shouting at you worse than Full Metal Jacket.

Well i did spend 3 years in the army so this would probably be the best choice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395375
see
>>6395373
all your examples fall in to that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395376
Difficulty: you become a frail and testosterone-deprived bunnygirl.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395377
Not magician and hermit, both of those are self-initiated.

Also there is really no distinction in something you initiate yourself and something that is imposed upon you. If you dump water over your head, or if someone else does it to you, there is no fundamental difference in you being wet.

[Anonymous No.]

>then you're free to play around with Cirno and Rumia and will never have to work in your near-eternal life.

Stopped reading.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395379
Not sure about hermits but a magician would have to achieve the power required, that would be a secondary influence not a natural one like with animals.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395387
Perhaps, but that's beside the point.

Also count me in for stage 1 boss.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395391
Its not besides the point, hermits arnt even classified as youkai. Even if a hermit became a youkai it would still be a result of a secondary influence. Same thing as if i a mage did.

Humans dont turn in to youkai, they have to be turned.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395402

see

>>6395379

The end state is the same, so it's beside the point.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395402
Humans are not supposed to become youkais, per se. Either they go against the designs of the gods or they give many turns to the cycle of reincarnation or go to their final destiny/fate depending on what you choose to believe.

Some humans become youkai because they are so damn evil that they get fired from humanity, like Cain in christian lore (vampire).

[General Malcolm Granger !CdKcpR5YfY No.]

what hapens if i choose the second option and end being a immortal youkai?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395410
Youkai aren't necessarily evil, they just prey on humans the same way humans prey on pretty much everything else.

Based on Shikieiki in PoFV, it seems like the senior opinion is that humans vs youkai is pretty much left side vs right side.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395411
Impossible; nothing lasts forever. Information processing can't last for ever, so neither can pretty much anything else.

Also fairies can live vastly longer than youkai, far moreso than how youkai outlive humans. Youkai slowly fade away into activity similar to how humans fall into decrepit old age, but fairies live as long as their respective aspect of nature continues to exist - Cirno will only die when all the ice melts.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395362
>You go to Gensokyo and become a stage 1 boss. Reimu kicks your ass but then you're free to play around with Cirno and Rumia and will never have to work in your near-eternal life.

I don't even care about those other choices of yours. This, please.

[Prof. Anonymous !JVVFLaNdrE No.]

>>6395411
You can be killed by any means, though.

You'll just be immortal in age, but not physically.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395411
Impossible; nothing lasts forever. Information processing can't last forever, so neither can pretty much anything else.

Also fairies can live vastly longer than youkai, far moreso than how youkai outlive humans. Youkai slowly fade away into inactivity similar to how humans fall into decrepit old age, but fairies live as long as their respective aspect of nature continues to exist - Cirno will only die when all the ice melts.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395370
It's a shame how "primary" has grown to mean "ignorant about Touhou and proud of it".

[Anonymous No.]

Fuck year, stage 1 boss.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395428
Not that guy you were arguing with, but how does being a primary Touhou player be 'ignorant about Touhou'?

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395430

I love that image so fucking much. Sakuya is cute when she's mad if you're a fairy and get unlimited respawns.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395433
>>>False statement about Touhou setting
>>A correction
>LOL U SECONDARY CARE ABOUT STORY LOL

That's how.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>6395362

>-You become a lunarian and serve as an officer in their defense force. You will see comforts and technologies like nothing ever imagined on earth, but you will have Yorihime constantly ordering you around and shouting at you worse than Full Metal Jacket.

Dude, I was literally made for this bullshit. Playing all that Halo: Reach really paid off!

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395362
Second option or first option.

Hell for youkais is like break from life, right ? So you go to hell after dying and later go back to life.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395450

Is that you John Wayne? Is this me?

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>6395450
>>6395362

One thing, though:

>you will have Yorihime constantly ordering you around and shouting at you worse than Full Metal Jacket.

Why would she be doing that? She would be giving orders, but I don't see why she'd be pulling the work of a NCO. She is the Commander of the defense corps, after all.

It'd be kinda like having General Petraeus of the ISAF going to Afghanistan and personally leading a squad.

Of course, I'm not saying there's no good, old fashioned officer yelling. I've heard the defense corps's drill instructors are legendary.

[Anonymous No.]

>-You become a lunarian and serve as an officer in their defense force. You will see comforts and technologies like nothing ever imagined on earth, but you will have Yorihime constantly ordering you around and shouting at you worse than Full Metal Jacket.

My body is ready.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395453
No.

This is the eastern concept of hell, it doesn't last forever but it can very well last longer than the present age of the known universe. You move step by step up and down different planes of existence; if you are extremely virtuous in human life then you go to a far better place, but if you're a piece of shit then you suffer tremendously and then have an incredibly hard time returning to where you started.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395469
This is a fantasy setting. Commanders are the strongest units who single-handedly win battles. In fact, Lunarian defense force doesn't seem to have more than maybe a few dozen largely useless rabbits.

BTW, are you fine with being a rabbit? You might need to.

[Prof. Anonymous !JVVFLaNdrE No.]

>Yorihime constantly ordering you around and shouting at you worse than Full Metal Jacket.
No, anon.
I'M THE ONE SHOUTING.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395477
YOU DON'T SCARE ME, WORK ON IT!

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>6395476

> In fact, Lunarian defense force doesn't seem to have more than maybe a few dozen largely useless rabbits.

Sure, but that doesn't sound like the mighty force that crushed the Youkai army of Yukari to bits.

Maybe Yukari was just pulling crap out of her ass as usual. The Great Youkai war was probably just when Yukari got drunk again, and mooned a Defense Corps soldier with Ran while driving through a military checkpoint.

And I'm eagerly signing up just so that I can get my brain transplanted into a lithe rabbit body, so I'm definitely okay with being a bunny. No more back pain for me, fuck yes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395473
Then I can just hope that I will have luck and won't go to hell for too long time. But still would I like to be youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395483
From thorough reading I'm thinking that Yukari was trolling that time just like she always is, so either it never really happened as such or she just wasn't being serious about it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395486
Hell isn't based on luck, it is based on content of character.

If you're in /jp/ then you're probably shit-tier in that regard.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395483
I reread SSiB a bit recently and the Yuyuko - Ran dialogue led me to believe that Ran wasn't even around by the time of the first invasion (or whatever it actually was). Apparently, only Yuyuko and Yukari know what happened.

Judging from recent plot, probably something just as silly.

[Prof. Anonymous !JVVFLaNdrE No.]

>>6395479
Shouting your will at me now, are you?

Don't mind this shop, I'm testing a Wacom for a bro.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>6395487

>From thorough reading I'm thinking that Yukari was trolling that time just like she always is, so either it never really happened as such or she just wasn't being serious about it.

I had Suspicions that Yukari was telling a porky or two. She is prone to colouring the truth, after all.

Plus, the doujin made it seem way more epic than it actually read out to be. I remember this one that /jp/ posted around here a couple of times with youkai getting blown away by pinpoint artillery strikes, and Defense corps soldiers mag dumping into them. Pity I never saved it - at the time I thought it was silly, melodramatic stuff like the infamous Suwako doujin that's been making the rounds lately. I think it's called Wind Tears or something. It has a really great setpiece in which Kanako invades Suwako's lands.

[Anonymous No.]

-You go to Gensokyo and become a powerful youkai. You will live just a few thousand years, but if you work hard you can have wealth and power. When you die you will spend ages in hell, elligible for parole based on how hard you worked in life.

Awesome. Can I work the Road of Liminality after I die for bonus points?

Also >just a few thousand years
Most youkai who live even a thousand years are considered pretty old.

[Anonymous No.]

Stage 1 boss.
Probably some kind of really weak goblin.
>mfw I end up as a domovoi, and not a cute hobgoblin.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395490
;_; I try my best to report all cruel/sexual/racist posts.

[Anonymous No.]

-You become a lunarian and serve as an officer in their defense force. You will see comforts and technologies like nothing ever imagined on earth, but you will have Yorihime constantly ordering you around and shouting at you worse than Full Metal Jacket.

DO WANT

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395529
а ты то кто ?

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>6395544

а то

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395529
Don't worry, you'll be a little girl.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395547
стыд. и почему не на нашем форуме?

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>6395534

I think it is rad that we're getting free passes into Officer school. OP really made me happy about that.

Usually, worthless pieces of shit like ourselves would merely be enlisted in the rank-and-file, feeding cannons and whatnot.

Not that I'd complain if we ended up there. If OP had dictated that instead, I would have just dealt with it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395551
I just imagined a wrinkly, naked little girl, covered in a carpet of hair. Who everyone calls grandfather.
Now I'm really thinking I ought to go the youkai route.

[finfag !ABARTHJim2 No.]

>>6395372
No, I will become the best DA in hell.

[Anonymous No.]

First option easily. I will do my best to be the greatest damn stage 1 boss ever.

[Anonymous No.]

But fairies die if they're lonely.

Second option, I'll claw my way out of hell and into Eiki's heart.

[Anonymous No.]

That's exactly why the rest of the fairies need you, so they'll do whatever it takes to make you snap out of it and become part of the team ⑨

[Anonymous No.]

I'll take the Youkai option.

It's the "Alpha Male" choice

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395638
Congratulations on becoming a stage 3 buggirl or some crap. I wonder how much EXP you're worth?

[Anonymous No.]

Stage one boss all the way.
That's the only choice with no down sides.

[Anonymous No.]

Go to Gensokyo as a human!

Romance Kaguya and/or Eirin until Hourai Elixir option.

Romance Kaguya and Mokou (and Eirin, if she's immortal) until end of time.

[Anonymous No.]

>You go to Makai to train and become a legendary magician. Sariel will keep you imprisoned there until you are strong enough to escape, which will be a very long time of suffering and unpleasantness. After this point you can go wherever you please, but the world will be a very different place.

So let me analyze this...

You spend hundreds or thousands of years in Makai training until your power level is over 9000. Then you can return home, and the place has underwent that many years of changes.

Knowing the world we live in, it will either be an orgasmic technological wonderland where you can live in infinite luxury, or it will be a bombed-out stone age wasteland which you can re-terraform and then be revered as a god. Not so bad in my opinion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395645
Better than being some speedbump Stage 1 boss at least.

[Anonymous No.]

Option 1: stage 1.

Option 2: stage 2~4.

Option 3: stage 5~extra.

Option 4: defeats Reimu and Marisa.

Option 5: lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395362
JUMP IN THE LAKE

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395667

Not necessarily. I plan to be a stage 1 boss, then come back as a later stage midboss somewhere also.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395596
>But fairies die if they're lonely.

Read the three fairies' stories, their favorite pastime is hide and seek. If you were a lonely fairy then you would just have Daiyousei suddenly pop in on you and act happy about it.

[Anonymous No.]

Stage 1 boss sounds fine. So does training with Sariel. It all depends on how long your lifespan is on the Sariel route.

[Anonymous No.]

Cook eggs

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395708
You'd inevitably end up as a high-level youkai magician, so your lifespan would be whatever you felt like.

It would be kind of like Eirin; she is probably not immortal, it's just that there is not very much in the universe that can actually kill her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395410
>Some humans become youkai because they are so damn evil that they get fired from humanity, like Cain in christian lore (vampire).
Stuff RPG companies make up doesn't really qualify as christian lore.

[Anonymous No.]

☑ Option A

[Anonymous No.]

Option L: Befriend Mokou/Kaguya, cut out her liver while she's asleep. nomnomnom.

Theres a new immortal on the block, bitches.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395645
That'd be awesome, I want to be a tapeworm loli with the ability to manipulate parasites.

There's a Central Asian man-eating mythical creature that may appear as a jackal, a bird or a beautiful woman. In order to hunt, she transforms herself into a strand of hair and drops herself into food, allows herself to be eaten and rips out the liver of her victim from within, so that may be suitable for a parasite-manipulating Touhou (replace "strand of hair" with "eggs" and you get pretty close to endoparasites. ) Those haunts can be bound into service by driving a pin into their chests, so I'd probably be caught by another youkai girl who knows of this catch and presses me into her service. She would probably be living on her own (perhaps a magician, as those are the people most likely to know that particular weakness) instead of being the mistress of a mansion with dozens of servants like Remilia, so all her work would be left to me.

I'd resent her at first (/jp/ users aren't exactly fine with having to do housework everyday, after all), but she'd be kind with me and after decades of acting as her servant and only companion, I'd eventually come to love her. Eventually, I'd manage to get the pin removed (which ends the contract), but instead of leaving her, the first thing I do would be meeting her and telling her that now we're equals instead of master and servant, I'd like her hand in marriage. She'd smile and accept, and our life from then onwards would mostly be the same, with me tending to all her needs and defending her from youkai hunters by infecting them with African eyeworms or Medina worms (both of which are extremely painful though ultimately pretty harmless), but during the night I'd change from my maid uniform to a nightgown and we'd share a bed as lovers.

If only ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

Why would anyone want anything else?

[Anonymous No.]

Become Yamaxanadu's new, more useful helper.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395782

I for one prefer the notion that a Hourai Elixir liver does not convey Hourai Elixir immortality, but instead simply gives the consumer infinite lifespan.

i.e. a knife in the gut will still do you in, but you'll never go grey so long as you manage to avoid said knife.

[Anonymous No.]

Trying to steal an immortal's gut would be an unfeasible plan because you wouldn't be able to prevent them from wrecking your shit while you tried unless you were Reimu and had Yukari backing you up.

Anyone with the power to do it would have the wisdom to not do it.

[Anonymous No.]

>become a ⑨
>fuck with everybody like a boss
>get killed, come back, don't care

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395976
Enjoy getting sealed for 1000 years.

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395362
N° 3

[Anonymous No.]

>>6395874 Anyone with the power to do it would have the wisdom to not do it.

You're new to Gensokyo, aren't you?